• Member Since 9th Feb, 2017
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I am a self proclaimed horror and dark fantasy fic writer. You want darkness, death, and despair? You've come to the right place. Also an eternal Twilight Sparkle and avid Lovecraft fan.

Comments ( 804 )

I really like this idea I don't think I have ever seen a story where someone tries to survive a grimfic Equestria or where someone tries to fix different grimfic universes

7 años esperando finalmente un fimfic de HiE tipo grimdark. SOY MUY FELIZ:pinkiesmile::pinkiegasp::pinkiehappy:

el primer capitulo del episodio fue calmado, interesante y bien hecho. 3,475 palabras y lograste ambientarnos y darnos una clara idea del concepto inicial, esta sera una historia que como tu dijiste: "pondra a flexionar tus musculos de la creatividad hasta el limite".:rainbowderp::twilightsmile:

tienes mucha creatividad para el genero grimdark, y como esa categoria puede abarcar muchas cosas, ya no tienes tanta necesidad de restringirte con el gore ligero o con las creaturas y monstruos que pueden estar habitando esa realidad.:pinkiecrazy:

el final del primer capitulo fue algo que me sorprendio bastante, casi podrias decir que es self-insert de primera categoria(opinion personal). estoy muy emocionado por ver los siguientes capitulos en el futuro.:pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy:

hay muchas imagenes en http://deviantart.com las cuales te pueden ayudar un poco con la inspiración.:scootangel:

Well this looks like an interesting ride, I hope you commission me to do the cover art on this, PM me if your ever interested.

I think the premise is interesting and like that he has a clear goal but I think e will have to have his heart strings to actually show the consequences of doing nothing to help an/or failure to really give him the drive and resolve to move forward in his mission of saving all those Equestria's. Right now I see him pouting for a while in trying to get Discord to go home before actually starting to do some adventuring of his own. For Discord not wanting to actually I think there are several valid reason why he shouldn't or simply can't do anything to help all these worlds. First up bad rep: Discord already has a bad reputation in trowing ship historically and the ponies that he would be trying to help are more likely to resit his efforts rather then helping him thinking that he is in some way responsible or he had let it happen somehow. Even if he could hide behind his identity, his massive ego and sense of self importance wouldn't allow him to show anypony else that it was him how saved the day; it's just not in his MO.

Secondly lack of of Empathy: Discord has a lot of trouble putting himself in other ponies horseshoes, even if the status of his views on ponies being upgraded from playthings for his own amusement to mildly interesting to observe with occasional moment of entertainment. Plus the fact he is nearly immortal, and there don't have the same needs as ponies do and can forget about such little thing, like breathing or a hearth beat, and have not relate in any meaningful way beyond a few acquaintances and would quickly just get bored trying out of trying to help those thing that will die eventually anyway.

Thirdly saving Equestria would most likely kill him: we already seen that Discord would simply fade out of existence when he goes completely against his nature just for trowing a normal tea party for Fluttershy and trying to stop all this rampant chaos would be ephemera to him very being. The best that he could do is sending a proxy in his stead who doesn't have that constraint build into him and get to play super hero; I am sure Discord wouldn't be entirely happy with that arrangement except then the guy gets kick in the balls for entertainment value .

Fourthy there is also the fact that whatever is already throwing shit in those world already knows about Discord and already have continences prepared for his interference and Discord would just be one big fat target. On the other hand a regular puny squishy human, who are mostly unknowns would have an easier time going under the radar and wouldn't follow most of the expected patterns of behavior for anyone in Equestria.

What would also be interesting to see is what will the guy feel over time when he has to start the same thing over and over, and leave behind all the friendships he made over time or even have to start over with people/ponies he already know like Tom Cruse in The Edge of Tomorrow, it wil grade on him over time.

I will be looking forward to see more of this story and I hope you will consider my offer. Enjoy this link:raritywink:


Well of course it was. He's just a regular dude with terrible vision. Did you expect him to just waltz out of a grimdark version of the Everfree Forest unharmed? Or at all for that matter?

Nope, he was screwed from the get go.

The best thing I can compare his mission to is Dark Souls -- specifically the difficulty and learning curve.

EDIT: Apparently a lot of things get compared to Dark Souls, but eh, that's what it feels like to me so that's what I'm gonna compare it to.

Oh, my money was Cupcake Pinky Pie, so many fun memories form that.

So, let me guess, he's going to die every single time, no matter what?

And that will destroy the grimdark universe he's in anyway?

So what the fuck is the point of him even trying if his dying is guaranteed? Why shouldn't he just bash his head open against a rock and get it over with faster each time?

Dark souls is easy until you get the calamity ring. at that point everything one shots you.

Of course he's not going to die every time. Yes there will be a lot of death -- especially in the beginning -- but he'll start to learn what to do and, more importantly, what not to do. It's called A Survivor's Guide for a reason.

It's not as simple as killing himself and getting it over with. For one thing, he's not suicidal, and for people who aren't suicidal it's kind of hard to break away from survival instinct. Discord also gave him the chance to save the universes, so that's what he's aiming to do, as impossible as it seems at the moment.

So was it intentional that discord said fuck it gave him respawn ability and world ending power with death or heartstab to the universe but not fix the bloke's eyes

Nope. Didn't even think to. Discord doesn't care whether he lives or dies, only that the worlds are dealt with.

Don't worry though, I have some ideas on how to help with the eyesight issue that I'll put into play sometime later.

You got a point but if i would have been discord i woulde have the line of thinking. "If he had a better vision he wouldt die as often but he coukd maybe either save more lifes (in case of "saving the dimension") or easier to find the crystal (incase of "destroying the crystal") and less of a sanityloss (incase of"death") and it would probly be the easiest thing and maybe the most usefull for him in dealing with it incase he lose the glasses. And i have a quick question are there 1 discord that travels or multiple but a hive mind?

a little short but necessary, gave the clear idea of ​​"you're fucked, no matter what you do, you're fucked in that world and you better hope you have good luck", and helped us to try to get used to the idea of ​​the unknown . I think Salvatore's first death was more due to an accident (it's realistic, everything can happen) than to the beast that was chasing him. You described well the situation of the first encounter and the latent emotion of the moment.

It was a horrible death that would stay more etched in his mind, than his previous death. In short, fear will keep Salvatore alert.

In addition, reviewing discord's comment, he already gave "options" to salvatore:

* try to correct / repair what is wrong in the world *
* destroy the crystal of that reality and commit an omnicide *
* die to activate the emergency plan *

Discord only does that to defend his own. It's not good or bad, it's just that, someone who does everything to defend his own no matter the cost.

if we talk about salvatore, remember the title of fic. and as I already compare the author "is like dark souls, you'll die a lot until you start to take the rhythm and learn to survive"
(That and learn the patterns of attack and movements, you have to predict and before that, observe and learn.)

So if Salvatore dying and breaking the crystal accomplish the same thing why doesn't he just kill himself when he wants to go with the nuclear option instead of going through the effort of finding the crystal?

Interesting idea, and well written. I'll definitely be looking forward to future chapters!:twilightsmile:

How many times will this poor soul perish, i wonder.

It’s more of reason for him NOT to die. As he doesn’t want to have to commit mass genocide over and over again. Discord made that caveat because at the end of the day, no matter how much I love him, he’s a bit of a prick who enjoys the suffering of others.

I am so glad you are continuing from where you left off in Well... damn. That was such a surreal piece of random grimdark that I am excited to see where this goes.


Seems like this dude needs the help of Doomguy.

Seriously though, you got something really interesting going on here that I haven't quite seen before. Can't wait to see where this goes.

Discord did give him the powers to make a flashlight

He just didn't teach him how to use his new found powers

Savoiurs declassified,
Grimdark survival guide.

aside from the reasons already given by others, I imagine that there's likely side effects to just 'exploding' a reality out of existence, as apposed to unmaking it. odds are the crystal option leaves a smooth empty clean spot on reality, as apposed to a singed ragged hole, metaphorically speaking.

Judging by the flow of the story, perhaps there's more to taking the Dark Chrystal that just causing the place to be undone. Perhaps it'll allow the one who takes it to change or rewrite the universe. Would definitely be an Antihero route but would be better than just leveling the entire universe via death-nuke. Cause lefts face it, some grim dark tales have some pretty impossible and unstoppable beings.

As interesting as the premise is it has one major flaw that was not questioned, if there are multiple Equestria universes then there are multiple Discords among those universes, each of them can have enough power to wipe out entire universes, and if Discord is this powerful why not just "snap" and destroy all grimdark Equestrias or just every other Equestria besides his own.

Dude...the only thing grim-dark about this universe is how there's apparently a 'super' monster in the Everfree. Now, I'm not complainging that you got an easy world, but I am complaining about how you just up and died in the first ten minutes. To the only thing there that would classify the entire universe as grimdark. You've doomed the entire universe to actual death, for falling to the hands of the ONE MONSTER THAT MADE IT CLASSIFIED AS GRIMDARK. You need to up your game man.

Whether the world was grimdark or not wasn't important. The point here was to show vulnerability and the brutal reality of his task.

You said it yourself -- he was barely alive for anytime at all. Saying that the world wasn't grimdark because the main character died too fast or got killed by one monster is rather odd to me.

I get where your coming from, just because he was in the wrong place at the wrong time doesn't mean the world is grimdark. The thing is though, is that -- in the literary sense -- this is indeed a grimdark world, especially when compared to canon Equestria.

There's no one end all be all definition for what makes a grimdark story, but if you look up any definition, I'm certain you'll find that this chapter alone fits many of the criteria.

Also, when I talk about universes and multiverses, I'm refering to fictional universes and multiverses. A bit different from what I think you're thinking of.

Only character accomplishes nothing and then dies with basically no development of the story. Would be good if part of a larger block. Does nothing but disappoint in isolation.

Hand waving a universe in and then right back out to do, what, a bit of establishing the stakes? Greatly undermines taking it seriously. Sort of establishes main character as worse than useless which is pretty bad considering all the whining he does already. Clearly establishes that universes are unimportant to the story and reminds us that basically everything is effectively zero consequences.

Could have spent that time making something feel like more than HiE spam.

Let's be clear here: you added this story to damn near every category in Tyrant Sparkle and have zero Tyrant Sparkle.

This is the same as having a lemonade stand but no lemons and expecting your advertising to save you somehow.

You advertised a thing you didn't actually have to offer.

This is disappointing.

Okay, so I'm gonna be honest. Some of what you're saying doesn't really make sense to me. I'm not really sure what you mean by disappoint in isolation, the entire point is that the character is weak and helpless in the beginning, and given the circumstances he was thrown into, I think he has a right complain.

The biggest problem with your complaints however, is that you're making several assumptions based on the first two chapters of the story. Something you have to understand about me as a writer is that I tend to draw things out and not reveal everything all at once.

I'm not going to just throw a super confident badass hero into the story and have them fight evil Twilight right from the get go, that would be terrible writing in my opinion. With me, it's not about instant gratification, it's about build up, payoff, and, most importantly, character development and interaction.

There's far more going on than what you've seen in just two chapters, but if you want to write it off as a disappointing story just from that then I guess there's nothing for it. I'm sorry you feel that way and I thank you for at least giving the story a shot.

Re: "first two chapters" blah blah blah;
Only current chapters.

I like it. Am very interested to see where this goes keep em comin'!


And you're commenting about not seeing something when only the prologue chapter and the first standard chapter have been released. To wit, in a story where it's outright stated that multiple types of grimdark are going to be shown - and thus heavily implies that this'll be a long-runner. It's like being told in advance that Jojo's Bizarre Adventure follows the exploits of multiple members of the Joestar line, and complaining that Phantom Blood only has one Jojo. Or, perhaps more aptly, being told about Stands being a major reason Jojo set itself apart as unique, and complaining that there's only Hamon for the first two parts.

You just gotta let it get to that part of the story to see it, but you might as well enjoy what comes before it (especially since it provides little things like context to the experience).

Edit: I would also like to rebut your comment about "universes are unimportant to the story." I thought Discord made it very clear that that's the entire reason the story's happening - he wants them fixed/retgone before they encroach on his home reality.

Unrelated somewhat to the topic of rebuttals, considering Discord's comment about the guy dying and hitting a dead man's switch that blows it up anyways... I think it implies that if he dies and 'respawns' in another universe, he's blown up the universe he died in. So it's more like the choices he has are "destroy the crystal and destroy it consciously," "fix everything yourself so it doesn't get destroyed," or "die like a bitch, blow it up anyways, and you don't stay dead." So he can't suicide his way out.

Or... he could do that every time and save himself a lot of crystal hunting legwork, but he'll still have to experience pain-filled deaths on that route.

The only criticism ClockworkMage brought to the table that I sort of understand is his/her comments regarding the Tyrant Sparkle group inclusion, but only marginally.

I think it would've been better form to wait until a tyrant Twilight Sparkle actually makes an appearance in the story before adding it to the group, because at the story's current level of completion, people could be misled into thinking that the group's central theme is already present in your story, only to be left wanting when they find out it's not the case just yet.

However, which groups a fic is encapsulated in has no bearing whatsoever over its quality, and prejudging a story on that criteria, as well as griping about overall incompleteness in a work-in-progress is pretty petty and non-constructive.

Would you stick with a show you were told might be good because of some very specific things if all that's aired so far is none of those specific things? If so, why don't you have more respect for your own valuable time?

This was added simultaneously to multiple group categories for content it doesn't have and doesn't convincingly promise.

What's here now is not the content ascribed to it by adding it to those categories.

And if you don't understand how Discord and the setup undermine the universes being even potentially important, you somehow missed the entire setup. This entity, who has no traits other than "whiner" and "fan of the show", is a kiss of death. There's no outcome for him other than the ruin of worlds he enters. No action on his part actually matters when all roads lead to world death. The universes are disposable. It's made pretty clear that they're all playing temporary host to their, mostly untimely, ends.

Edit: Grimdark isn't a thing you can fix, by nature. It being fixable removes it from being grimdark to begin with.

Fair, I wasn't terribly constructive.

How's about this: either wait on publication until there's some more substance, or even easier, wait on adding it to tag-sorted groups until your story satisfies any of the tags.

Not all of the tags, even. Any. One would be an improvement.

See? Constructive.

I do like your handling of Discord as straight up nearly omnicidal evil masquerading as friendly because of his obsession with one particular world. That's pretty grimdark.

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