• Member Since 4th May, 2020
  • offline last seen 7 hours ago

Creative Delight

Just trying to be a Creative Delight for you guys. Creativity starts with one wish, the wish to make, being it a painting, a story, or a building. It all still comes from a wish, a wish to make

Comments ( 17 )

Welcome back, I'm glad that you're doing alright and here's hoping you get better.

I've always liked this back seater in someones mind, sadly it isn't used enough, can't wait to see what you've got in store.. :twilightsmile:

Thank you for the welcome back. I am also glad to be back, as I have a lot of ideas for the story.

The world is certainly having a time right now. Glad you're doing alright.

And can I just say, there is a huge amount of improvement in your writing. There are still some weird sentences, and I noticed a lot of capitalization issues but you've done fantastically with this.

“what in Tartarus is that thing” exclaimed Twilight in both surprise and fear from seeing the giant unknown creature. A creature she hase never seen before. “Evenfall, do you what that creature is?” Asked Twilight Evenfall.

“No, I do not. We need to find Spike fast so he can send a letter to Celestia about this.”

Trying to find Spike in all this chaos was not easy. Every time the monster roared, Twilight was terrifying as she has never seen or heard anything like it.

The monster was as big as a house looked like a giant spider but with both spikes coming out of it as having fewer legs as one.

This was the only large problem point in the whole story, and I did a quick fix on the first paragraph as an example.

“What in Tartarus is that thing!” exclaimed Twilight in both surprise and fear from seeing the giant unknown creature. “Evenfall, do you know what that creature is?”

The 'W' at the beginning of what should be capitalized, and I removed the "A creature she has never seen before." because by describing the thing as a "giant unknown creature", it's implied that she hasn't seen it before, and the extra sentence is a little clunky. I also removed the "asked Twilight Evenfall" because I didn't think it was necessary. A new paragraph wasn't started which meant it was still Twilight talking, and by the question mark, you know she's asking a question, and because the line references who she's talking to, well, I didn't think it was required. Unless "Twilight Evenfall" was meant to be a reference between the fact that the two characters are one in the same, in that case, it does have importance and can be left in. I also added 'know' into her question because it seemed like it fit there.

Outside of those couple of paragraphs (which still showed a great amount of improvement by the way), this chapter as a whole shows great progress. Keep writing, keep getting better. You're already on your way to becoming a great writer.


Glad to see that you are ok too. For most of the improvements, you can thank Grammarly Premium. It is a big help. Sometimes I think faster than I write, and that is why some words end up missing. But thank you for helping me out. I did an edit on the last chapter. Heeding your advice from last time and getting help from Grammarly Premium. Thank you very much, I wish you the best of health and good luck. Gonna fix it now.

Thanks, I will. you have a great day, noon, even or night.

it’s not dead. it’s more that I am dead. mental problem.

ah Alright looking forward to see what you have done

Alright here we go again lets see how things go form this new start

Well, it is more of an extended version of the same chapter. Just hope you like it. Most of the other chapters are gonna be done in the same way at least chapters 2 and 3 are.

Looking forward to when you can continue this story. Despite your not liking the first chapter (I get it your toughest critic is yourself like most authors) I however enjoyed it and wanted you to know. Definently liked and followed

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