- Member Since 4th Mar, 2014
- offline last seen Wednesday
PostPony
The day will come when I write a story and finish it too.
PostPony
Joined 4th Mar, 2014 ·
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Shouldn't you work on finishing your other stories before you start another one?
Strangely written. The pacing is strange, and there are too few descriptions of the environments the characters inhabit. The looks and feels, the sights and sounds. These are important, and without them there is a hollowness.
Otherwise, very good. The concept is fine, and I noticed no problems with spelling, grammar, or sentence structure.
I'm a bit confused as to why Sierra is in space, why she crashed into a planet, or what her mission is. I don't think these where clarified enough.
Side note: The way Valerie casually transforms Sierra into a cyborg is somehow horrifying.
How the Hell can you know fear?! If you are basically all powerful being ( Including our species ) in technology wise? Like the old forerunners in Halo!!!
So unless, there is a highly dangerous, and a super scary interstellar parasite ( The Flood ) show up? Then I don't see anything that can make you or me afraid??!!
11007564
Are you role playing with the description?
11007535
This is probably just what I need to hear. I've been spinning my wheels on the beginning of this story for so long that I can barely separate what I've written from all of the other ideas and connections that have come and gone. Maybe the right choice would be to approach the story from an entirely different direction.
11007588
Maybe?
It wasn't on purpose, or my intention. Just find it weird that something in MLP of all things can scare a very powerful "post-human" that probably seen WAY worse things from our own bloody history, or even in uncharted space.
Darn gleisner robots, flying around the galaxy terraforming planets like they own the place!
Off to an interesting start!
11007652
It mostly depends on if it can be made to work
11007682
Not only am I suddenly more motivated, but I've discovered Diaspora for the first time. How I've not encountered it I have no idea.
11007760
I highly recommend anything by Egan, but Diaspora and Schild's Ladder especially for transhumanism themes.
11007754
Made what to work?
11007779
The danger of the situation. You'll see.
Not bad,but kinda rushed. What about treat to Equestria? About frienship with Flurry?
11008177
And if this threat/danger is similar to The Flood that I mentioned? Then I not only I won't be much impressed by the "mysterious" threat. But, that will just make Valerie a whole lot more of a scary cat than me.
Ahh damn, I should have known better than to start a story with only a couple chapters. Well, I'm hooked.
11008367
Well, the good news is I actually have ideas for a middle and an end to the story which usually doesn’t happen.
Yess yessss good stuff, thanks for being prompt.
Very Isaac Asimov. I think its very well done so far.
Im interested in seeing where you go with this.
Monk
"Yes, I will eat the Fear Turkey." -Illua
Okay, I'm hooked.
It's really good I love the story I'm going to go read more of this thank you for making this like I said before I'm going to read more of this and hopefully I can see more of this in the future thank you for making this
This some beautiful science fiction.
11023978
Thanks. Do try to suggest improvements if you see anything because I am plagued with insecurities about the quality of the story, let me tell you.
I would love to see more of the ship!
Aside some barely noticeable spelling/word errors. This fic reads like a dream. Wonderful. Can't wait to see where it goes from here
11024943
11024943
I should frame this comment.
yee! new chapter. I really like where this has gone so far.
the only advice I could give you is that the jump between perspectives when writing in first person is sometimes hard to deal with? so if you're in one scene try not to jump back too quickly. also putting a character name at the top of a break where we jump perspectives would be nice.
gets better and better this story does. I know I wouldn't care how long a new chapter takes, that's why there is more than just this story on fimfiction XD. Hopefully life takes a break at throwing you curve balls.
This whole story has been some fabulous hard scifi and I just keep coming back to see if there is more.
11133991
OOF. This has literally been my policy on other chapters and I forgot. Fixing
Ooh we're finally getting close to the really good stuff. Eagerly awaiting contact!
still alive?
i love this can you make more?
11520492
I need to get back to it. I'm going back to regular employment this month. Hopefully that means I can return focus to this website.
I just found this story but i really enjoyed what you’ve written, I know you haven’t gotten back to it for over 2 years but if you ever find inspiration again I’m tracking this story just in case!
11828095
finishing things I start has been something I’ve struggled with. I am seeking an adhd diagnosis. It might help. I do hope to return to this. Maybe I can finish editing the three chapters already written soon.