• Member Since 17th Feb, 2014
  • offline last seen Saturday

MagnetBolt


They/Them, Currently working on: [TOO MANY] projects.

T

Fizzlepop Berrytwist was a little girl, and Twilight Sparkle's best friend. Her death left Twilight traumatized.

Fizzlepop Berrytwist was a little foal, with a bright future ahead of her. Her trauma gave birth to Tempest Shadow.

When someone is gone, it's the duty of the ones left behind to remember them, and to avenge them.


Inspired by a discussion on Fractured Sunlight

Written for the Villain Exchange Program

Chapters (5)
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Comments ( 77 )

“...is that some kind of euphamism?”

Euphemism.

“No. It’s obviously not a trip you can make often, and you want to stock up.” Tempest shrugged. “Besides, I still owe you for not putting me in prison for the rest of my life.”

It's been a year and I'm still tired of this. Tempest didn't do anything that could conceivably earn her prison time. Everything she did was as a legal enemy combatant / representative of a foreign state following a formal declaration and acceptance of war.
I did like the merchandising / marketing crack about the Storm King's army, but tried not to think too hard about the pyramid scheme as mentioned.
Also, "six friends, sixty thousanf books" wss fucking hilarious.

I love it and I'm 100% with it.
It's like a comic version of Fractured where Twilight had a crush on Drax.

“Did you do that thing where you fire your gun in the air and yell ‘Aaaaah?’”

I had to put down my phone and try to breath in between pathetic squeaky wheeze-giggles.

Well, that was... a very psychotic take on Tempest. Funny, but psychotic.

Well. There goes my victory money.

Seriously, this was just too funny. Apart from the flashback scenes, there was a home run joke like every two lines.

Magnificent from start to finish. Thank you for it. I do hope Tempest got to bring that crossbow back with her.

“Hey, just what you see, pal.”

Ha! Nice one.

9205273
Hopefully it turned into something that shot phased plasma instead of metal bolts. I mean, nothing big, just something in like, the 40 Watt range.

Well... this was...

Actually, I've got nothing. It happened. It was interesting.

9205290
Hey, only what you see, pal.

This was amazing, and I feel very flattered.

I'm going to be the pedantic gun guy and point out that a Mar(e)lin 1895 uses a .45-70 round... which is a biiiiiig boooollet, and would kick about as much as a shotgun, if not more, considering the kick increases with bullet mass. A Mar(e)lin 336 would be less likely to knock little SciTwi off her feet. That one is available in smaller calibers.

That said, Twilight has good taste.

9205273
Anybody who tries to tell her no is probably going to become intimately acquainted with it.
Also jeez, I WAS working on something for the Villain Exchange Program, but if this is the competition I might as well not bother!

9205627
No it wouldn't. .45-70 is about equal in length to a three inch magnum 12ga slug you'd use for bear- but it's just under half an inch in diameter where 12ga slugs are .730". Much much bigger. The felt kick would be affected by the different size and mass of the long gun in question, but a shotgun is always going to kick harder.

God damn it, Magnet.

Hilarious as always.

9205696
Be that as it may, I am unconvinced that Twilight’s shoulder, wrist and derrière would feel an appreciable difference.

“No, no, I’m all about murder!” Twilight assured her.

lol

9205214 I don’t remember which movie started this trope, but it made me think of Hot Fuzz.

9205802
I forget, they mentioned the name of the film. But that direct quote is from Hot Fuzz yeah.

This did a good job riding the line between drama and comedy.

9205176
If you really want to split hairs she is technically accessory to attempted regiside after an unprovoked hostile invasion and enslaved basically an entire country. Which is not dissimilar to nazi Germany during WWII (baring the actual holocost part obviously) and the world government not only hunted them down but executed most of them. So I think a royal pardon wouldn't have been remiss in this situation.

And with this chapter I think we are safely diverged from Fractured Sunlight!

Thank you for not glossing over the fact that sunset has indeed been inside pinkies mind and one can only imagine the amount of psychological damage that kind of thing would leave behind

You molest it you buy it. Love it!

9205681
By all means, go for it anyway. You never know what might happen. :twilightsmile:

... Twilight buys a gun... Great... :facehoof: So much for Fractured Sunlight, and it was going so well too.

“You didn’t even do any tactical rolls,” Tempest said. “We talked about this. Tactical rolls are important. While you’re rolling, you can’t be hit by the enemy’s attacks!”

Aww yeah gotta get those sweet sweet i-frames

“All of my friends are idiots,” Sunset muttered.

Truer words have never been spoken.

Also I would just like to note that the title of this story is very misleading and implies that it's about romance instead of bear hunting. I suggest changing it.

"Isn't nature wonderful?" Fluttershy smiled.

Yes Fluttershy nature is wonderful.

Ok, so... uh just how far in the future of the series does this take place? I mean considering everything being discussed and that, just how precisely did an Ursa Minus grow up to become an Ursa Major within a few short months of the Canterlot Invasion by The Storm King in order for it to be grown up enough to be seeking therapy from Fluttershy and then want to kill Tempest?

I liked what I read, don't get me wrong, but there is a serious suspension of disbelief for that final punch line and it just makes me scratch my head at the growth of an Ursa in Equestria.

In other words... IT DOES NOT COMPUTE! :rainbowhuh:

a tubby little cubby all stuffed with fluff

+1 internet cookie for the Winnie the Pooh reference :rainbowlaugh:

“...I had this sort of song that explained it,” Tempest muttered.

Omg, it wasn't spontaneous, she rehearsed it didn't she? Adorable, absolutely adorable.

Ri2

“I have more than six friends!”

Really? Who?

Ri2

9205176
Isn't invading another country a perfectly reasonable reason for said country to imprison you?

Ri2

You know, Sunset's usually the one Twilight has a traumatic past with...

Also, Flash, you need to either give up on women, set your sights on horses, or move to Equestria.

Ri2

There is so much goodness here I don't even know where to start. Damn.

Ri2

This was delightfully deranged. Bravo!

9205176
Didn't she enslave foals/minors, threaten four monarchs, destroy public property, planned to execute civilian traders,(the pirates) made a species to go into hiding(basically caused mass panic and chaos or what Hitler did with Jews that caused them to flee), injured unarmed civilians with magic, and could have caused international wars by upsetting the balance of the world? Dragons, changelings, griffins, etc would have retaliated at the balance and may have lead to global war or extinction since she ASSISTED in acquiring that power for the storm king.

9206559
Ohohohohoohoh noooo.
Technically nothing on there outside of slavery is illegal in war, but that definitely breaks SOMETHING in the Geneva conventions.
On your other statement: The changelings don't give two fucks because they're doing the same thing, the dragons are too isolationist and nationalist to do anything about it, and the griffons might have motive but they don't have the means. Their nation is doing much better now, but they have no hope of fielding a standing army powerful enough to have a reasonable chance without falling into more debt than fucking Greece.

The comedy in this chapter is magnificent. I'm generally actually quite fond of Flash Sentry and not keen on treating him like a punching bag, but I can make an exception when you do it with such superb lines as this. And the opening paragraphs about the Book Dungeon were so good I showed them to my wife.

In which context the weird tragic backstory seems rather out-of-place, but I'm prepared to see what you do with it.

Well, at least the comedy and the tragedy have united into deranged psychopathy now.

Oh dear. Bears in the woods. Off the path. That's not going to go well.

You keep telling yourself that Princess Bookie.

It's probably bad that I want to hear the rest of Twilight's parallel dimensional entanglement lecture isn't it.

Yep. Bears. Poor Tempest. Though...equestrian Tempest isn't missing any bits (that she's noticed) so either it was psychological or...she's dead? :fluttershysad:

This is such a strange mix of comedy and drama, loving it.

9205176

Are you serious? Just because you like the character doesn't mean they never did anything wrong. She destroyed a kingdom, took over another and enslaved its populace. Just because she was doing it on the dime of her boss doesn't mean she wasn't the one doing those things. You're bringing up the law which you don't even understand, and since the only law we even know of is OURS in our world, you're misapplying it to try and seem like you're in the right, which you were still wrong about in the first place.

For all we know there aren't any laws on this. Or if there are, "Kill people who threaten the world by threatening the monarchy that keeps the heavens orderly and thus gives and maintains life to the ENTIRE PLANET" probably ranks pretty highly as a central law. How many nations fell before Tempest Shadow? How many people wound up in the less civilized parts of the world, like that one fucking body shop we saw outside of Equestrian borders?

I can understand, to a degree, redeeming her. But acting as though she never did anything wrong, getting defensive and indignant over it like you're offended that someone even suggested she wasn't a friggin' saint is insanity.

Oh ye gods... working on getting Twilight murderous intent and anger. Do you want Sith Midnight? Because this is how you get Sith Midnight.

...Don't answer that question please.

Tactical Rolls are the healing energy of crystals of the military world. They also only work in Equestria.

9206300
Oh come on, I just heard about the contest. If I can knock out something awful about Tirek in a week... :twilightsmile:

So, if I am reading this chapter right. Then i'm absolutely sure that the next chapter is going to be unbearable.

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