• Member Since 26th Jun, 2018
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Lets Do This

We're going to build an exact copy of Ponyville... right over there! We've got less than a minute!



This story is a sequel to Trixie Luna Moon

A shadow descends upon Canterlot. Celestia announces the impending return of Nightmare Moon. And Twilight, Tempest, and their fellow students find there's more to being Equestria's chosen defenders than they bargained for...

For more of this AU, see: Ring Around the Moon -- Part II

Also see the series, beginning with Not Exactly Friends

Chapters (5)
Comments ( 102 )

"Unassuming they may seem," Celestia concluded, "yet these six ponies have it in them to lead us through the coming night, and see us safely to the new dawn that follows. It is our wish therefore, and our royal command, that they be shown the same respect, honor, and duty you would show to us. They shall be our shield, our sword, and -- fates willing -- our olive branch, in facing the Mare's return. So sayeth the Crown!"

I know this sounds bad, and it doesn’t reflect my adoration for your stories and this alternate universe in particular, but I keep somewhat hoping for a bad end now. Just to justify the show continuity. Or, so Trixie can be NMM’s right hoof in a New World Order. But only jokingly. :twilightsheepish:

"Congratulations... Commander Tempest!"

Not going to lie, I totally read this in Wrex's voice from Mass Effect...

Hells yeah! Been following your AU with great interest! excited to read it. Things be coming to a head.

"No kidding!" Sunset nodded. "Walking on water would be a step down , I think."

How... do you know that reference...?:rainbowhuh:

Thanks, NJDB!
Wait 'til you read Part II... I'll be interested to hear what you think!

Many thanks! Yes, this wound up being a two-parter finale, just to have the space to tie everything up properly. Hope you enjoy it!

Oh, I'm sure Star Swirl, on one of his travels, must have impressed the locals by casting a localized freeze spell to reach their village by crossing a lake. Hence "walking on water" as a metaphor for being held in high (perhaps undeserved) regard.

That's my story and I'm stickin' to it...

See, we had some hope in this story then you had to go and take it away.

? How do you mean? What do you find troubling?

And here we go....

Well the Luna visiting Trixie separably thing gives the audience the impression that Luna is conscious and separate from Nightmare Moon, genuinely caring about Trixie. But right at the end there, Luna starts behaving coldly like Nightmare Moon, implying that the visits by Luna may be Nightmare Moon playing harsh mentor/secretly-evil mentor with Trixie, using the "Luna" visits to spy on Trixie and see if she's secretly working against Nightmare.
I'm just dreading the angst I think I see coming.
My concerns were primed by coincidentally watching this today before reading this story.

Don't lose hope yet... wait until you see where this is going...

Eugh, high society. :pinkiesick: So glad I’m just a lowly grad student who doesn’t have to deal with that shit.

Dude. This chapter. :fluttercry: It hurts so good. I need to give Trixie a hug.

Ah, Cheese. You are just what I needed right now. Just imagine Luna’s face when she meets him...

Okay. I was hoping you'd call it done by this point. But Luna's thing finally killed what good I had left for it. Now it feels like you keep it going for the sake of keeping it going for as long as you want.

That is not a good way to write anything. Because it starts to feel like the author didn't care about what the end goal was, and just liked adding unneeded baggage.

Well, THAT was a rollercoaster of emotions. And once again, you’ve left us hanging from a cliff. I hate you and love you simultaneously, and I can’t decide what’s winning right now.

And that’s why he’s called Cliff Hanger!

Thanks so much, Eroraf86, for following along with this, and for your feedback -- it's writer's fuel! And rest assured, there is a conclusion. I'll be very interested to see what you think of it!

I say, things are going quite well aren't they? Quite a bit of magic being tossed around, very impressive. "tis noteworthy that they haven't twigged to the virtuous aspect of the Elements, one wonders if that's going to be significant later on...

Yeesh, Nightmare's putting out some pretty nasty mojo. Very impressive.

We're gonna throw Nightmare Moon a party, and we'll make Celestia pay for it! I see nothing wrong with this plan.

A rollercoaster of emotion, leading on to the big day! This is shaping up to be something amazing!


A rollercoaster of emotion, leading on to the big day! This is shaping up to be something amazing!

Thanks much for reading, and for the chapter-by-chapter feedback -- for a longer piece like this I need all the encouragement I can get! Looking forward to hearing what you think about the conclusion!

We're gonna throw Nightmare Moon a party, and we'll make Celestia pay for it! I see nothing wrong with this plan.

I did always want to show what would have happened if Moondancer held a party for Twilight, and Twilight actually showed up this time. And if you're gonna throw a party, who better to plan it than the inimitable Cheese Sandwich? ("Uh... and Pinkie?" :pinkiehappy:)

All I can say is - wow. Great job on the first chapter in this latest installment. The exchanges, characterizations and future chapter/story set-up are all well done in all the right places. I particularly liked Cheese Sandwich's set-up appearance as well as the "group demonstration" concerning the group's organized teamwork and Tempest's first meeting with Shining Armor. All in all, beautiful work (especially with the bits of "sibling banter" between Twilight and Shining and the hints that Trixie's conscience might be starting to get the better of her.

Anyway, on to the next chapter.

Again, this is some really good work on the latest chapter. The exchanges, characterizations and future chapter set-up are VERY well done in all the right places. I greatly enjoyed Cheese's "mind-flash" to the distant past and how it increased his determination. Plus, Tempest sticking up for Trixie concerning that rude vendor and the mention of what Moondancer has been through before Celestia stuck up for the entire group were great details.

Now, on to the next chapter.

Excellent work on the exchanges, characterizations and future chapter/story set-up in all the right places. I especially loved how Moondancer and Starlight helped each other out during the research portion (mostly by calming each other down and allowing each other to look at things from a different perspective) as well as how Tempest and Sunset both calmed Twilight down with good points after it was revealed that Celestia was forced to banish her own sister and, finally, Trixie realizing just how much of a dark mirror her relationship with Luna/Nightmare Moon is to that of Twilight and Celestia AND fessing up to her friends following that realization.

Once again, on to the next chapter.

REALLY good job on this chapter. The work going into the exchanges, characterizations and future chapter set-up were all splendidly done. I especially enjoyed Cheese cheering up the gang; starting with Moondancer; and so many other ponies too. And Tempest helping Twilight put things into perspective was beautiful too.

Now, on to the next/final chapter of part one.

REALLY good job on the final chapter of part one/ set-up for part two. Yeah, superb work on the exchanges and characterizations as usual. I particularly enjoyed Celestia's chat with Twilight, Twilight rallying her friends to get ready for the Summer Sun Celebration and Cheese Sandwich sending that letter to Pinkie Pie. Though, yeah, that "dream chat" with Trixie was some appropriately nerve-wracking cliff hanger stuff.

REALLY looking forward to Part II of the finale.

Thanks, CK -- I always look forward to your feedback, and especially so in this series. Hearing what stands out for you in the story, and your reactions to it, in such detail is a real shot in the arm! (And do feel free to point out weaknesses too -- coming from a supportive commenter like you, I know it would help!)

Looking forward to your reaction(s) to Part II! And thanks again!

Starlight put her hoof around her, hugging her.

And that’s when I expected a knife to appear in her chest.

" Shush! " Trixie demanded crossly. "This is a good trick! It's called the truth!"

This is also one of the greatest lines I have ever read. Seriously, I want to quote this. I want to frame this and put it up in my house. It’s brilliant. It’s simply brilliant.

I think Trixie‘s story was wrapped up a little too neatly for my taste, but I’m so invested in this story that I bought a couch and a dog with it, so let’s see where this goes!

Tempest shrugged. "You're on the cutting edge, Twilight," she said. "Which... generally means the rest of the blade is behind you."

How do you keep writing these amazing, brilliant one liners? It’s like you’re a Spartan, pure and distilled laconic wit. It’s really unfair!

Heck yes! Trixie is still working for, possibly, the bad guy! We’re not out of the woods yet! I can’t tell you how much I look forward to these updates.


" Shush! " Trixie demanded crossly. "This is a good trick! It's called the truth!"

This is also one of the greatest lines I have ever read. Seriously, I want to quote this. I want to frame this and put it up in my house. It’s brilliant. It’s simply brilliant.

Credit where it's due, this was inspired by the memory of a similar line from the movie 2010:

"I want to play a game with you, Dr. Floyd."
"I don't have any time for games."
"This is a good game... it's called the truth. For two minutes, I will tell only the truth. And so will you..."

For a sequel and an adaptation of a hard SF novel by one of the classic authors in the field, and a contender with all the other great films that came out the same year (Terminator, Ghostbusters, Last Starfighter, Buckaroo Banzai), this was a much better movie than we had reason to expect...

Thanks so much! You know I wouldn't short-change you like that. And trust me on this: it's all woods here...

This! This! All has been building to this declaration! Now they know! And they will do what must be done! If only they can figure out how...

I didn't write that one, Tempest did. Seriously -- all I'd put down was the cutting-edge part, and the character ad-libbed the rest herself. The subconscious is funny that way...

Tempest shrugged. "You're on the cutting edge, Twilight," she said. "Which... generally means the rest of the blade is behind you."

...This line. So great.

"There you are, Twilight!"
Twilight looked up, startled. Ahead of her on the path were Minuette, Lemon Hearts, and Twinkleshine.
The three ponies smiled at her. "Moondancer's having a little get-together," Twinkleshine said, mysteriously. "Over in the west castle courtyard. You wanna come?"

...Anyone else feeling a bit of déjà vu here?

And a Cheese Sandwich-brand partyTM is both the best thing for them right now, and possibly a great way to remove the Nightmare from Luna. Hope it works...

...Oh, boy. The crazy's about to stack itself upon itself... I suppose, when the Godzilla Threshold approaches, sometimes you must unleash Godzilla. Though it's best to hold it back until you actually hit the threshold.
...It has been so long since I have seen that show, and yet I still remember that jingle, tune and all...

I see... Hope she doesn't mind me borrowing it if I ever need it, then.

Tempest nodded. "One thing."

"Name it."

She looked at him. "Twilight comes first."

I thought that moment was very sweet.

... why do you continue to give me fantastic Ideas I have no where to bounce off?! You're evil and horrible and I love it dear Lord keep it up! Seriously. Tempest and Trixie are definitely becoming my favorite two ponies in this fic... Right after Twilight. I can't help but love that bookworm. Ahem, anyhow, I can't wait for the next set of chapters! So excited to see where this all leads and what'll come of it in the end!

I also heard you have a tree problem? I can fix that. :pinkiehappy: Everyone underestimates the problem solving capacity of High Explosives.

Thanks! I thought it was important, as a way for Tempest to establish that she and Shining Armor have a common loyalty and a shared sense of responsibility. This is Tempest when she's not out conquering pony kingdoms or caging princesses: she finds something important to her and holds onto it, resolutely and fiercely. She's not a fanatic, but she's almost more dangerous than one, because she's fully rational about her obsessive approach...

By the way, Twilight -- what is your opinion on the tax rate nowadays?

That would be the exact moment when I would bail.

I’m glad they finally made the connection to Luna thanks to their trip to the human world. I was wondering when that little bit would come up.

"Okay." Moondancer nodded. "And thanks, Starlight." Then she grinned. "You know, you're really good at giving ponies advice. You ever consider doing it for a living?"

"What, you mean like some kind of guidance counselor?" Starlight snorted. "Yeah, right! Me telling ponies how to live their lives? Ha! Like that would ever work out."

I like it when AUs like this one manage to make references to canon like that.

Wow, so it comes full circle. In canon, Twilight blew off Moondancer’s party to prepare for Nightmare Moon, while here she goes to it, but the party itself is to prepare for Nightmare Moon. Throwing a party for her actually does make sense, considering the whole reason Nightmare Moon existed at all was because Luna felt she and her night were unappreciated. Why not help show her that isn’t the case?


"This is a good trick! It's called the truth!"

You will find, I think, that it is the very best trick.

It has been some time now that I read a story of such skill and intrigue. You really make us readers guess which direction the path our protagonists will take. You really flesh out the characters while still keeping their personalities in check. Though your really are stretching it with Trixie. If it wasn't for her equestrian girl counterpart I would have said that this Trixie isn't like her cannon self.

For example when Trixie is amongst friends. She rarely speaks in 3rd person. That's her stage persona. Just food for thoughts. :twilightsmile:

P.S I'm a Trixie fan.

Calling in Pinkie Pie for backup... well I’m sure everything is guaranteed to work out perfectly now.

Okay, so complete honesty here, I haven't read ever single story in your series, but there's been a few things that have struck me as odd, one of them is that since celestia knew trixie was working for nmm and lulu since the beginning why didn't she reach out to her? I mean I get trixie feeling bad for twilight and her friends, but she doesn't even spare a thought to tia. Did her years of mentorship mean nothing? (though judging by the fact that you made celestia have multiple students yet still only address twilight as her faithful student when she has others might be a reason she doesn't care)

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