• Member Since 23rd Dec, 2013
  • offline last seen 2 hours ago

Oroboro


Employed layabout with not enough free time to write about horses.


T
Source

When Twilight Sparkle was just a kid, her best friend was a girl named Sunset Shimmer. Though their friendship had a bit of a rocky start, they quickly became inseparable, no matter how much everyone thought of them as ‘weird’. They were there for each other.

Were.

Years after the tragic accident that tore them apart, Twilight is determined to move on from her loss, and she sets off on an independent research project to investigate the strange happenings at Canterlot High. Little does she know that she will soon come face to face with what appears to be a literal ghost from her past.


Coverart by Kare-Valgon. Chapter illustrations by Zorbitas.

Edited and Pre-read by Dubs Rewatcher, r5h, and Kalan.

Takes place after Rainbow Rocks, but was written before Friendship Games and does not take it into account.

Chinese translation

Chapters (25)
Comments ( 2641 )

It's finally up! Looking forward to watching people make their way through this adventure of a story.

How interesting. I really like this idea, so let's see where it goes.

*slightly under his breath* Fuuuuuuck.

I didn't even finish reading yet but I've got to put this in my Favorites! Also...

“Bacon and pancakes."

Oh~ me like, me like lots.

The pictures add to the story interestingly! Do continue. :pinkiehappy:

That's one hell of a way to start a story. I'm going to guess that this is the end of one Sunset Shimmer . . .

Damn.

Oh no I hope Sunset will be okay.

Oh shot it's out! And OH SHIT!! THE SUNSET OF EQG WORLD IS DEAD AND OH MY SHIT!!:pinkiegasp:

The moment when I realized that you never actually went in depth with this story beyond as to the plot when we we talked on Skype was also the moment when my brain tried to evacuate my head through my ears.

Literal.... ghost....

*sees "sad" tag*

O.O

...should I reads it...

*clicks follow*

Maybe....

So, before I get into the slightly more articulate portion of this comment, I have to start with...

The feelz...

Are REALZ!!!

:fluttercry::raritydespair::applecry::raritycry::fluttershyouch:

nfjsldkkfnwkalzodjenski c jehsnndjxkjfbsmalM,¡○♡▪◇▪◇|¡○◇•♧○◇♡\♡\•¡Kmsmwnxkzl Oh, ¡\♡▪◇°[▪♤¡●¿~◇•}□}|]\9•♤●¡2

Hehem. Okay, I got it out of my system.

Nice work as always. I can tell this one is going to hurt... I'd imagine the meeting with Princess Twilight could lead to a very bitter human Twilight lashing out...

So, what is the release timeline for this fic? Are you trying to get it all posted before Friendship Games?

Edit: I just reread the description.

YES! I love your portrayal of Twilight Sparkle all grown up without any of the development. And though a small part of me slightly wishes that Twilight's Sunset hadn't died:fluttercry: I am looking immensely towards seeing where this goes.

P.S.

She’ll probably need to know the truth eventually, but maybe we can take a chance to get to know her as a person and make friends with her before we go dropping bombshells like ‘by the way, everyone at school already knows a person who looks exactly like you and has the same name’.

:rainbowlaugh:

This is awesome. Not only is it a great story, but it even has great illustrations! Looking forward to more!

the story is sad yes but the emotions are good and you make one heck of a story and I really love thise story top5

6424745 I'm not sure if you're being serious or not. Huh. Carry on.

6425028 Actually no I'm not. But I like where this is going.

The feels, I need more of this story, your writing is so good. :raritystarry:

Welp, my heart has been effectively torn out of my chest and stomped on. Guess that means I'm in for a good one.

Wow.
Goes to cry in a corner.

My god, Twilight, you are such a nerd.”

Hmm. Does a god exist in this world? I suggest replacing "my god" with "Sweet Celestia."

Sweet Celestia, Twilight, you are such a nerd."

turned beat red.

This phrase actually references to the beet vegetable.
media.mercola.com/ImageServer/Public/2014/January/beetroots.jpg

Teacher Dixie Tai

I'm missing the meaning of the name. A google search reveals a tai chi teacher named Dixie. :duck:

“Hey, wanna play ponies?”

I'm not going to go line-by-line here, but I was cringing for this entire part. It hurt, man. :derpytongue2:

End of first chapter thoughts: Damn. That went south fast.


A tall youth with spiky blue hair stood looking down at her, his eyes wide.

static1.fjcdn.com/thumbnails/comments/Time+to+an+hero+_422f373e7d26acb8b4c1b8494e12dd44.jpg

What was this creep babbling about?

At least she got that part right.

End of second chapter thoughts: Those pictures are arranged beautifully. They add a really unique and engaging atmosphere.


This is certainly a strong start and a very interesting story. I thought I'd poked a hole in your theory because I initially didn't realize the real Sunset Shimmer had been killed, and this was going to be pony Sunset Shimmer she was encountering, so I thought this was some "Sunset Shimmer and Twilight know each other but Twilight has amnesia or something" story, which would of course be AU because Sunset Shimmer didn't recognize Twilight Sparkle in human form immediately or recognize the significance of the name. I hadn't even considered a story like this, but it's begging to be told, and you're delivering in spades.

You have genuinely surprised and impressed me. There were a few one-off grammatical/punctuation errors, but nothing immersion-breaking. Your story is great and original. Looking forward to future chapters. :pinkiesmile: 8/10. Two points off because of the super cringey pony thing in the first chapter and the fact that there are some minor grammar/punctuation errors (perfect punctuation is a fleeting dream for most, hence the 10/10 score has never been given).

6425321

Hmm. Does a god exist in this world? I suggest replacing "my god" with "Sweet Celestia."

In this world, Celestia is a high school principal whom Sunset has never met, so invoking her name wouldn't make a lot of sense.

=P.

I actually did some worldbuilding in that the EQG world in that it's mostly like Real world earth except for some alternate history difference, like that polytheistic religions were the ones that survived history, including one revolving a Sun and Moon goddess who the principals of Canterlot High are named for. Like having a Principal / VP named Thor and Loki.

Absolutely none of this is relevant to the story or comes up whatsoever.

I'm missing the meaning of the name. A google search reveals a tai chi teacher named Dixie.

iambrony.steeph.tp-radio.de/mlp/gif/h77213__safe_rarity_animated_filly_glasses_unnamed-pony_cutiemark-chronicles.gif

My pointless headcanon name for the teacher in this shot, a play on Dixon Tichondaroga #2 Pencil.

Also completely irrelevant.

Poor Twilight! She doesn't deserve this pain! :raritycry:

Anyways, this story is fantastic so far and I already can't wait for more! You have my applause. Also the illustrations are great!

Ouch, right in my Bridge to Terabithia emotional scar.

As awesome as I would expect from you. :pinkiehappy: Looking forward to more!

Oh wow, this is off to an excellent start.

Sci-Twi was so not prepared for what her research would turn up, and she's just getting started.

Liking it so far! :twilightsmile:

Edit: Forgot about this bit

Also like how the pictures are fitting nicely

The 'speak of the devil' bit was an allusion to your own satanic ways, weren't they, Oroboro? Leaving things on that sort of cliffhanger is just evil.
upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/8/87/Christian_cross.svg/2000px-Christian_cross.svg.png
Begone Devil...! And leave the next chapter at the door on the way out!

Finally, been waiting for this.

Amazing work. These characters feel thoroughly thought-through, and I can't wait to see what's coming for us. The backstory in the prologue caught me completely off-guard, but set things up very nicely.

My favorite line so far:

It was one thing when she carefully bumped into someone on purpose and controlled her fall...

The fact that they had such a sweet time together just made the knowledge of what was coming hurt more.

I read the short description and clicked to put this in "read later" before going to bed. Then I read the long description and immediately started reading. Sleep can wait.

Wow, things are moving right along! Nice not to have everyone spending a whole arc trying to keep secrets. Not sure where things are going to go from here plotwise, but that's all the more reason to stay tuned.

Interesting working in of Twilight's psychology, too. So her trauma has her wound even tighter than pony!Twi?

This is going right into my "very excited to read" folder, and if this keeps up, it'll easily make the gold folder once it's finished! :pinkiehappy:

Hmm... you caught my interest. Going onto my 'Read Later' folder.

Hmmm, so, this story is freaking fantastic and now I really really am looking forward to more. Please write more. We really need more. Please?

What kind of scientist would I be if I wasn’t willing to accept challenges to the status quo every now and again? I won’t take your word for it, but if you have evidence, I’ll happily take it into consideration. Even then, if you’re willing to share your perspectives, I’m sure it’ll be quite valuable, even if they’re biased.

be careful what you wish for Twilight you might just get it

So basicly I just want to be sure before I start reading it

This is human Twilight who was friend with human Sunset, who happen to face Pony Sunset
So this is basicly Human Twilight/Pony Sunset ship-fic? Right?

This will not go well

O.K., NOW I'm fully interested. Onto my Favorites page right away!

Wow, you like, really have to update soon. Like, in the next twenty-four hours soon. You can't leave it at such a monumental cliffhanger right of the gate like that. It's unethical. After this next chapter it may not be that big of a deal, but you can't leave off on a note like this for weeks.
Anyway, this will either be really interesting, or a melodramatic mess. Can't wait to find out.

6425321
I'm ashamed I missed 'beat' red. Time to turn in my editor card and throw myself off a roof

interesting, I will track for now

This should be interesting, I wonder where this story is going. I got a couple of idea of where you are going and I can't wait to find out... Except I can. I wish you good luck and a great writing experience.

Okay, so a little bit of amateur criticism!
...
I haven't found anything I can stick to. Seriously. And I like to grumble a little at every fimfic. Maybeee some tags are not needed right now, but it depends on author if they want to add them with story, or stick to them without changing anything.

Unique idea (there's no story like this so far) and good writing. Wonderful human counterpart of Twilight Sparkle, still fascinated with research.

I wonder how you will write Sunset Shimmer.

Can't wait for next chapter, keep up the good work!

@Edit. Oh and the drawing. Thank you Zorbitas, it really adds something amazing to this story.
@Edit 2. Made a fool of myself didn't I? Well, still can't wait for new chapters ^^"

s3.amazonaws.com/lowres.cartoonstock.com/miscellaneous-disaster-disaster_waiting_to_happen-farmer-manure-fans-mly0582_low.jpg

Tracking. This is looking really interesting and the art just makes it better... that one of Twilight when she saw Sunset...

Yep. That happened. That was a thing. :ajsleepy:

On the other hand, I've been waiting a long time for this! You writing a Sunlight story? I am much excited.

6426094
Shipping is a maybe. Twilight expressed an interest in Sunset but no idea what if anything will come of that. It's good so far, though.

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