I’m sorry, I’ve been forgetting to write in you again. I’m not really sure where to start though…
It’s Thursday now, but most of the week was pretty fun. Sunset and I finished our project together and then played a bunch at recess.
But today, Sunset said something mean to the teacher earlier so she had to stay inside for 10 minutes after recess started. I was playing by myself when those same three girls who told me to stay away from Sunset came up to me.
They told me that Sunset was a Grade ‘A’ Loser and that if I was going to keep hanging out with her, then I would be one, too. I got mad and said that Sunset wasn’t a loser, that she was my friend and she was awesome and fun and I liked her a lot.
That just made them laugh and they started calling me names and pushing me around. I wasn’t really sure what to do about that, but it hurt a lot.
Right when I was about to cry, Sunset showed up out of nowhere like a hero, yelling at them and kicking gravel in their faces. It was super cool, like a scene straight out of a movie.
I guess that’s right when the teacher decided to actually start paying attention, because the three girls all suddenly started crying, and the teacher came over yelling at Sunset and started dragging her away for detention.
I got really mad at that point and started yelling and screaming at the teacher and grabbing on so they wouldn’t take Sunset away for something she didn’t do. I was trying to tell the truth, but I don’t think I said it right, and the girls kept fake-crying, and eventually the teacher got fed up and decided to give me detention too.
I’m real scared. I’ve never had detention before. Does this mean I can’t go to school anymore? I really want to study hard and become the first lady scientist to resurrect a dinosaur or build a lightsaber. But now my future is ruined forever… Mom was real surprised when she heard what happened. She said she wants to talk to Dad before she decides what to do, which means it must be serious.
And I hope Sunset is doing okay.
☹
Twilight Sparkle
Awkward would have been a mild way to describe it.
Sunset idly flicked through her phone, unsure of what she should actually be doing. Twilight was still curled up on the ground, shaking with silent laughter. It had been kind of funny at first, but Twilight had just kept laughing. When the others had tried to help her, to see if she was alright, she choked out that she was fine, and only laughed harder. So it had left the six of them to just sit around, twiddling their thumbs.
It had probably been at least thirty minutes by now. At least she had finally grown quiet, aside from the occasional snort or single giggle.
Flicking her phone off and pocketing it, Sunset hesitantly called out, “Twilight?”
There was another snort and Twilight shook with more laughter, but it quickly petered off and was followed by the sound of a deep breath.
Twilight sat up and met Sunset’s eyes. Her hair was messy, there were grass clippings all over her clothes, her glasses were askew, and she was wearing a dazed smile. It was kind of adorable.
“Alright then,” Twilight said, stretching back and yawning, “done with that.”
Twilight grinned, standing up and dusting herself off before returning to her seat on the picnic table. “I can’t remember feeling this good in a long time.”
“See!” Pinkie Pie shouted, her eyes growing bright. “Laughter is the best medicine!” After a brief fit of giggles, she added, “Although you should probably be careful not to overdose.”
“You’re right, actually,” Twilight said, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath. “Kind of. Turns out lots of endorphins mixed with antidepressants makes for a killer cocktail. I wonder if this is what recreational drugs are like?”
A response like that earned lots of raised eyebrows and side glances from the girls.
“Look, Twilight,” Rarity began, spreading her hands placatingly. “This is all completely insane, I know. Goodness, I certainly wouldn’t have believed any of this a year ago. And, well… it must be hard on you, but I think I speak for all of us when I say that we’d like to help you out, and, well, be your friends. That is, if you would have us.”
There were murmurs of agreement from everyone, sans Rainbow Dash.
Twilight raised an eyebrow. “Why?”
“Uh…”
“Why do you want to be friends with me? Because you know my alternate reality counterpart and are friends with her?”
“It’s not like that, Twilight,” Fluttershy mumbled, her eyes downcast. “Sure, Princess Twilight is our friend, but you seem really, um, nice, too, and I’d love to get to know you better.”
Twilight shook her head. “That’s a wonderful sentiment and all, but I’m not buying it. I’m me. Not her. Just like ‘Sunset’ here is her own person… or pony or whatever, and not my…” She shuddered.
Sunset bit her lip. It wasn’t like she had any reason to actually feel guilty, but it didn’t stop that knife from twisting anyway.
“I’ll make myself perfectly clear. You’ve all just told me a bunch of incredible things, about alternate realities, worlds full of magical talking ponies, and probably a bunch of other stuff you haven’t even scratched the surface of yet. I want to understand, and I won’t stop until I can explain and replicate everything you’ve claimed. I’m not looking for friends—I’m looking for test subjects.” Twilight adjusted her glasses, sunlight reflecting off of their surface.
The way Twilight’s eyes briefly flickered to Sunset’s during her speech betrayed something in her, but Sunset couldn’t really tell what.
“Why?” Rainbow Dash asked, her eyes narrowed.
Twilight blinked. “Excuse me?”
“If you don’t care about being friends with us, why should we care about you and let you turn us into a bunch of guinea pigs? Give us one good reason to help you with your ‘science project.’”
Twilight opened her mouth to respond, then froze. “That’s… actually a good point.”
“And another thing,” Rainbow said. “I’m sick of everyone… wait, what?”
Twilight slumped forward on the table, cradling her head in her hands. “Ugh, I’m a total mess right now. I can’t think straight at all. Look, this research is really important to me. Something this big could determine my entire future.”
Fluttershy leaned over and placed her hand on Twilight’s shoulders. “It certainly sounds important. I know we don’t really understand much of this ourselves, but, um… does being friends with us really seem that terrible?” Her eyes were wide and pleading.
Sunset cracked a smile as she watched Twilight wince. She could practically see her heart melting in real time; Fluttershy was hard to resist.
“That’s…” Twilight shook her head. “I don’t know.”
“How about this:” Applejack said, crossing her arms across her chest, “We agree to help you with whatever you need for your science stuff, and in return, you agree to make an effort with all of us. Hang out, go to the movies, have sleepovers... friend stuff. I mean, you seemed to be having fun at the fair.”
Twilight’s face turned to a neutral mask, and she stayed silent for about a minute, before she finally said, “What if I just paid you instead? I have a research grant.”
Rainbow Dash snorted. “Sure, I’ll take the cash out option, and—hey!”
Applejack kicked Rainbow Dash in the shin, and the two glared at each other quietly for a few moments before Applejack turned back to Twilight. “Ain’t gonna happen. Deal or no deal, Twi.”
“Please?” Fluttershy asked .
“Pretty please with a giant icecream sundae with fudge ripples and angel food cake and oh man we should totally get ice cream after this!” Pinkie shouted, gesticulating wildly.
“...Very well,” Twilight said.
Applejack grinned, then hocked a loogie and spat on her hand, holding it out.
Twilight raised an eyebrow, then repeated the gesture and shook on it, much to Rarity’s chagrin.
“Well, that’s settled,” Twilight said, wiping her hands on a handkerchief Rarity provided. “I should probably get going. I kind of snuck out and I’ve gotten about a dozen text messages since I arrived.”
Sunset winced at the memory of Shining Armor’s verbal tirade. “Is your, uh, family going to be okay with you doing something like this?”
Twilight shrugged. “Probably not, but I already said I wasn’t going to let anything stop me. Look, you guys have school tomorrow, right? I need some time to get everything together, figure out an actual research plan, etcetera. Give me your numbers, and we can meet up tomorrow evening to discuss things.”
“Actually,” Rarity said, drumming her fingers on the tabletop. “Maybe you should just come to the school. There’s a few things you’re probably going to want to see.”
Twilight raised an eyebrow, but nodded. “If you insist.”
“Just be careful,” Sunset said, grinning. “Everyone’s going to act like they already know you. We can try to get the word out so you’re not mobbed or anything, but I doubt we’ll get to everyone.”
“And, as a civilian, you’re sure I’m allowed to walk the school grounds freely?”
Sunset nodded. “If CHS has any rules about that sort of thing, I haven’t heard of them. I’m a student there, after all.”
“Right. Remind me to ask you about that later,” Twilight said as she packed up her equipment.
After about five mostly silent minutes, Twilight was on her way.
“I don’t like this,” Rainbow Dash muttered.
Applejack rolled her eyes. “We know, Dash. You’re just beating a dead horse at this point, and that’s awfully disrespectful to Sunset’s culture.”
Sunset let out a sigh as Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash burst out laughing. “Really? Now that we’re done with the she-demon thing we’re upgrading to horse jokes?”
“Ain’t never been one to look a gift horse in the—”
“Let’s be serious now,” Rarity said, placing a hand on Applejack’s shoulder “I must admit, Rainbow Dash has a point; is this truly a good idea?”
Everyone was silent, each looking to the other for an answer. Finally, Sunset spoke up. “I don’t know, but we have to try, right?”
There was a chorus of nods, some reluctant. They would do their best to befriend Twilight Sparkle. It couldn’t be that hard, right?
“Speaking of, I’ll be right back,” Sunset said, then took off at a run. Twilight was still in sight, and it didn’t take long to catch up with her.
“Hey, Twilight,” Sunset called out, panting slightly, “can I talk to you for a second?”
Twilight stiffened, and her eyes widened when she turned around, but her expression quickly forced itself back to neutrality. “Yes? What is it?”
Sunset paused, twirling a lock of hair between her fingers. “Look, it’s just… this whole thing, with you, me, and the other Sunset… I dunno. I can’t help who I am, but I don’t want to hurt you because of it. If you would be more comfortable if I just stayed away from you, I’d understand.”
There was a brief flash of something in Twilight’s eyes, but it was gone before Sunset could even be sure it was really there, replaced by a cold anger. “You’re the extra-terrestrial here, Miss Shimmer. Studying you and your homeworld could quite possibly be the most important part of any of this. I couldn’t give up on data like that even if it literally killed me.”
Twilight turned and walked away.
“Twilight,” Sunset called again. Twilight looked over her shoulder, and after a moment, Sunset said, “You’re not the Twilight Sparkle I know. I’m not the Sunset Shimmer you knew. Maybe you don’t take this friendship stuff seriously; I know I didn’t at first. It all sounds super cheesy and unrealistic, but everything starts somewhere. If nothing else, can we at least treat each other as... I dunno, ‘colleagues?’”
Twilight stared at her for what felt like a long time. Finally, her eyes softened slightly and she almost cracked a smile. “Alright, that sounds acceptable. I’m looking forward to working with you, Sunset.”
Twilight closed the door behind her, called out, “I’m home!” and kicked her sandals off.
There was a muffled curse from the kitchen, and Shining Armor poked his head out of the doorway. He looked furious, his phone held up to his ear. “Nevermind, she just walked in. Gimme a second.
“Where the hell have you been?” he demanded as he stormed into the living room. “I’ve got Dad on the phone right now. You can’t just wander off like that, especially with everything that’s already happened!”
Twilight felt her cheeks flush hot but held her tongue, carefully deciding on the right response. “I was meeting up with Sunset Shimmer and her friends.”
Her brother’s eyes went wide and his mouth hung open. “I… what?”
“Yep. Turns out there’s a dimension parallel to this one with alternate counterparts of everyone we know, including both me and Sunset Shimmer. Sunset claims to actually be a pony who’s been transformed into a human by the process of coming here. I don’t know how true her claim is, but I plan on studying her and documenting everything I can. It’s going to be a lot of work, so you probably won’t see me much for a while.”
Twilight walked over, patted her brother on the shoulder, then headed for the stairs. “I’ll be in my room. There’s a lot I need to get done.”
Shining Armor kept staring at her, phone held limply to one side as her Dad’s voice barked from the speaker.
“Refuge in audacity,” Twilight said out loud, closing and locking her bedroom door behind her. “Works every time.”
She flopped down onto her bed and grabbed one of her pillows, pulling it close to her and squeezing it tight. “Thanks for that one, Sunset.”
On the positive side of things, she was pretty sure she wasn’t insane. On the negative, she was increasingly certain that the universe had left its sense of sanity at the door. Magical talking ponies? She wasn’t sure whether she wanted Sunset’s claims to be true or not.
And for that matter, what the hell was she thinking? She’d spent years surrounding herself with scientific rigor to distract from the pain. Was she really about to apply those same instincts to a living, breathing PTSD trigger? There were plenty of things to be said for exposure therapy, but this was less like looking at pictures to decrease anxiety and more like skydiving from an exploding airplane into an ocean full of spiders.
Yet, the Sunset she had just met… it was uncanny. Pictures didn’t do her justice. Sunset’s voice, the way she moved, the way she talked, the way she smiled, the way she bit her lip when she was unsure, the way she played with her hair: It was all the same as the girl she had once known.
And they wanted her ‘friendship.’ A deep part of Twilight, that naive little girl she had left behind on those cliffs so many years ago, yearned desperately for that kind of acceptance, to cling to the memory of what she had once known, even if it was just a facsimile.
For that matter, was it? This Sunset probably had a different upbringing, one they hadn’t shared with each other. How balanced was nature versus nurture? If her Sunset had lived, how closely would she resemble the one she had just met in personality? Was this ‘Princess Twilight’ a near identical version of herself? Was she a huge nerd, obsessed with science and understanding the world around her? Of course, if she was a princess, it certainly implied a lot of things about her pony half that didn’t come anywhere close to fitting her own description.
If she went ahead and made friends with pony-Sunset, would it be equivalent to pissing all over her Sunset’s grave?
Something wet and slimy dragged its way across her bare feet, and Twilight stiffened, then started laughing.
“Knock it off, Spike,” Twilight choked out in between breaths. She set her dampened pillow aside and picked up her dog, who wriggled in her grasp happily. “What do you think, huh? Does your doggy wisdom have any answers to questions that would probably make Haycartes’ head spin?”
Spike barked and wagged his tail, which was usually the extent of his wisdom. Maybe someday she’d develop a device to translate doggy thoughts into speech, but for now he was already the best assistant anyone could ask for.
“Questions like that are stupid, anyway. We’re scientists, not philosophers. How about we just focus on work for now?”
Spike leapt out of her arms and ran over to her computer, running in circles.
If she wanted to do this right, she couldn’t afford to let herself get distracted.
Knives and forks scraped across plates as they ate, the sound stark against the oppressive silence that otherwise hung over the room.
As Twilight was finishing her last roll and getting up to leave, Cadance let out a long sigh and set her silverware down.
“Twilight,” she began, breaking the silence, “can we please talk?”
Twilight stuffed the roll into her mouth and mumbled, “What’s there to talk about?”
Shining Armor groaned, sinking his head into his palms. “Come, on, Twily, don’t do this. This is serious.”
“How should I know?” Twilight said, swallowing and then reaching for her water. “I’m just a hormonal and moody teenager who suffers from PTSD and a host of other issues, and am thus prone to mood swings and bouts of irrational behavior.”
“Which would you rather we treat you as,” Cadance asked, pursing her lips, “a moody teenager, or a grown woman capable of looking after herself and making her own decisions? You can’t have it both ways.”
Twilight shrugged. “People are complicated. You can’t always fit them into neat boxes and categories like that. Maybe I can be both. Doesn’t mean it’ll turn out well, but it’s certainly still within the realm of possibility.”
“With an answer like that, I’m definitely leaning towards irrationality,” Shining Armor said, rolling his eyes.
“What, exactly,” Twilight asked, narrowing her eyes, “about this situation do you think is rational? What in all of your rational and adult wisdom do you think I should do? I gather you two already know something about this, but there’s another Sunset Shimmer out there. Here. In this town. Same age as she would have been if she hadn’t died. She claims to be from an alternate dimension, and is also apparently actually a pony. Can you point me to the bevy of scientific literature or psychology textbooks that provide models for dealing with interdimensional alien counterparts of your dead best friend? Oh, and get this, she wants to be my friend, too.”
Shining and Cadance shared a look, before Cadance finally spoke up, “We just don’t want to see you get hurt, Twilight. I know that’s not a very good answer, but I don’t think there are going to be any easy answers for something this crazy. It’s just…” she paused, sighing and shaking her head. “Look, what is it that you want to do about this?”
“I…” Twilight crossed her arms over her stomach, squeezing tight. “I don’t know. I want to do what I came here to do: science. Whatever else is messed up about this whole situation, there’s a wealth of knowledge to be gained here. I can’t just let that go. It could change the whole world.”
“If it’s so important to the world,” Shining Armor asked, “why is it so important that you be the one to do it? You could simply forward this to one of Dad’s colleagues and I’m sure they’d jump at the opportunity.”
Twilight barked out a short laugh. “Okay, maybe my motivation here is a bit selfish too. I want all the scientific prestige that comes with achievement, I won’t deny that. And, well, maybe I’m also dealing with personal issues that I haven’t really figured out yet. Is that such a bad thing?”
Cadance shook her head. “It’s not, sweetie. But what do you want us to do about it? What would you do if you were in our situation right now?”
“You guys…” Twilight mumbled, lowering her gaze. “I guess I just want… you guys to support me? Maybe it’s too much to ask, maybe I’m taking too much of a risk here, but I still want to do this. And if things get to be too much to handle, then I can always just back out and come home.”
Cadance glanced at her husband and nodded, then she stood up, walked over to Twilight, and leaned down to wrap the younger girl in a tight hug. “If that’s what you want, Twilight, we’ll support you. Just keep us in the loop, okay? We’d worry a lot less if we knew where you were and what you were doing.”
Twilight smiled, then squeezed back, her eyes misting over. “Okay, yeah. I’m sorry for being such a brat.”
Cadance pulled back, then set to work at clearing the plates off the table. “So what’s she like? This other Sunset, I mean. I’d love to meet her someday. Gods, but the two of you were cute together.”
“The same, in a lot of ways. It’s actually pretty uncanny,” Twilight said, her eyes glazing over slightly in a haze of nostalgia.
“I would have mentioned this earlier,” Shining Armor said, one hand rubbing at the back of his hand, “but I kind of met Sunset yesterday, when I went to go question those girls. I got a little overwhelmed and may have kind of told her to stay away from you or else, so, uh, sorry about that.”
Twilight raised an eyebrow, then leaned over and lightly punched her brother in the ribs. “Jerk. And thanks for letting me know. Although, considering she met with me today anyway, I don’t think it fazed her much.”
Shining Armor grinned, then ruffled Twilight’s hair. “Yeah, not my best moment. So what exactly are you planning to do?”
“Study her and her friends, of course. There’s a lot they haven’t told me yet, I think, and they want to show me something.”
“What does studying a group of teenagers actually entail, anyway?” Cadance asked, calling from the kitchen.
“Apparently,” Twilight said, grinning, “it involves going back to high school.”
