This story is a sequel to A Perfect Date for the Perfect Girl
Sunset couldn't be happier. She's finally dating the girl she loves, they're spending more time together than ever before, and she's fairly certain that Twilight is just as happy as she is in the relationship. Only one problem: They've been keeping it secret from all of their friends, and haven't thought of a good way to bring it up. Coincidentally, all of their friends have noticed that they've been acting awfully strange the last few weeks. Now it's a matter of coming clean before everyone figures it out.
Edit: On the Featured Box from July 29th to August 1st! You're all too kind!
Yayyy a sequel! And a treat just like the first. Seems a bit rushed however.
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Hmm. I was afraid of that. This is my second attempt at a faster-paced writing style. Any suggestions on how to smooth it a bit?
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For one, they've only been dating for a month. Moving in already? I mean, they've known eachother for a while but this isn't a college AU. They're still in high school. I actually assumed it was the morning after the prequel. The overall writing style and humor feels slightly rushed but did not redact from my enjoyment of this fic.
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Ah, true. Considering that the show closes with the girls taking their finals and being in their final semester of high school, I kinda intended for this to be the period between high school and college. Though I suppose I never actually said that anywhere. I can add in a line or two for clarification.
Loved this!
Sooo cute!
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Always happy to hear that people are enjoying my work!
Loved this story! Just curious where is Spike living?
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Thanks for saying so! As for Spike, he is still at Twilight's house. She still lives there, and was just visiting Sunset. I was implying that she's been spending more time at Sunset's apartment as of late, but not yet living with her.
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It would be awesome if some point you did a family story of Twi Sunny and Spike all living together and becoming a family :)
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It would be awesome if some point you did a family story of Twi Sunny and Spike all living together and becoming a family :)
Sorry for double post I accidentally replied to myself lol
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Who knows? I may in the future. Seeing as my SciSet fics keep on hitting the featured box, and I already have a few more ideas on the board, I might as well keep writing them. After all, I can't in good conscience leave my beloved readers wanting.
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yay :)
Well, that was adorabetes inducingly cute. Thanks for this little slice of SciSet.
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For goodness sake, who is downvoting me and only me? If I've done anything to you PM me.
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Wait, that's canon? They were taking their end of year finals for at most third year of high school based off the last short. Either way, unless they're going to be college roommates or something it still doesn't make much sense.
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You forget that Equestria Girls tells us the fact that Sunset Shimmer had already been going to Canterlot High for three years before she attempted to steal the crown during the fall of her fourth. We also know that Canterlot High is both a middle and high school due to the presence of younger students like the CMC. Considering that two summers pass over the course of the Equestria Girls specials, we can pretty soundly place Sunset and her friends in their Senior Year by the time the series closes.
As for your second point, yes. College roommates was the idea.
Edit: Minor mistake. Holidays Unwrapped comes after Spring Breakdown, so we know that at least one more year passes after Rollercoaster of Friendship, which then makes them seniors. Miscounted the school years there.
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You are very welcome! I'm glad you enjoyed it so much!
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That's true. But this could be a Canadian high school, which I've heard being 5 years as Rainbow explicitly states that they'll come back in a few months.
Edit: nevermind, that's only Quebec. Maybe it's there then.
This is great work. And yet, Fluttershy's quiet sass really stands out as a highlight to me.
Pretty cute follow up to the original story, and I felt like you captured most of the characters personalities pretty well.
That said, I do agree that the story feels a bit rushed compared to the original, if only because how confusing it can be to keep track of the characters once the rest of the crew are involved, since there's actions for other characters when someone is speaking. Verbal tics like Darling and the Southern Drawl help distinguish whose who, but we've got Rainbow doing stuff after talking parts so often that I felt like I misread who was speaking. For me, I do my best to cut off a paragraph when it comes to one character finishing her part talking and the next actually acting.
I wonder, though, if I'm the only one who noticed the possible future plot hook of problems in romance land between Sunset and Twilight, considering the slight frown at the ignored coffee. Twilight, especially written here, is VERY much a character that likes things orderly. VS Sunset's more wild and seat by her pants attitude? That's going to come to a head sooner rather than later!
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Yeah, I felt it was a bit rushed myself to be honest. I considered adding more, but I didn't want to pad it unnecessarily either. And writing for so many characters all in one scene is hard! My proofreaders also caught on the dialogue weirdness, and while I am still learning on handing group discussions, I'm still going to avoid such situations in the future.
Fun stuff, but you should try to keep a person's actions and dialogue in the same paragraph. There are several stretches here where it goes Character A speaks, Character B prepares to speak, line break. It gets really disconcerting.
Still, fun stuff. And Fluttershy did indeed do nothing wrong.
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Alright, I'll probably start doing that going forward. That's been the main complaint I've had so far, so I'll make sure to amend it in the future!
Daaaaaawwww. Adorable fluff. There will be harder times ahead, girls. Enjoy the feeling of blooming love. Remember why you fell in love to begin with. It helps get you through the rough spots.
I was questioning if they were still in high school in this story, and now my question has been answered.
Agreed.
Good going Pinkie.
not the guests."*
If they're ready, then they should do it.
same day Timber and I broke up.*
Not the best place to say it Dash!
And a couple!
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I'm glad you're enjoying these. I've certainly had fun writing them. And thanks for catching those errors. Shocked that they made it past both of my editors. Although, if you've liked my work so far, you might want to give A Perfect Date for the Perfect Girl a try. Tried to clean up my writing style for that one based on what I learned from the previous two stories, and it's honestly my favourite of the three. Do or don't, I'm happy you've enjoyed reading my work.
Oh boy am I gonna spend time reading this. It's only the first paragraph and there's already a few words I've no idea the meaning of. Oh well, I knew what was coming.
(Great story! I can't wait for more! )