• Member Since 22nd Feb, 2016
  • offline last seen 8 hours ago

Chaospaladin


"Sanity is for the weak." - People who know good writing advice

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During a climatic battle, a panicked magical blast from Twilight results in Chrysalis receiving a crippling wound. Twilight dedicates herself to Chrysalis' recovery and, hopefully, redemption.

As Twilight will soon learn, Chrysalis' frozen heart is one that won't easily be melted.

Entry for the "Dear Love: A Beautiful Discord" contest. Rated for suggestive content.

Special thanks to Midnight Quill and Peerimagination for help with editing/being my lifeline and Setokaiva for pre-reading assistance.

10/3 - Updated tag based on feedback.

Chapters (5)
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Comments ( 171 )

During a climatic battle, a panicked from Twilight results in Chrysalis to receive a mortal wound. Twilight dedicates herself to Chrysalis' recovery and, hopefully, redemption.

I hate to be pedantic, but you can't recover from a mortal wound. Perhaps a 'grievous injury' would be better?

9168904
That's a good point, actually. I may have taken too many steps into being dramatic. Thanks!

9168915

No worries, just trying to help.

I shall watch this

Another one.

Good luck in the contest! Can't wait to read your entry!

Please tell me you're going to babe the chapters to the verses of the song. PLEASE :raritystarry:

9168904
I think that the internal body system for changelings is different to ponies

My only criticism so far, aside from what I perceive as a slight lack of detail, is that there isn't a proper 'build-up' to the actual confrontation. I know that the circumstances that led to their fight aren't important to the overall premise, but setting the stage is just as important as playing on it from my point of view. So maybe in the chapters to come you could elaborate and expand on their conflict, or even retroactively add a chapter or two to lead into this one.

That aside, though, I am definitely liking what I am seeing here. A fun concept, to be sure. I will be keeping my eyes on this.

Darn it, Twilight, she's got enough holes in her already! :pinkiegasp:

"Shot through the heart! And you're too late!" XD

and your to blame! You give love, a bad name! That song was stuck my head the entire time I was reading this. Well done!

9168904

To be fair, in a world of magic you certainly can if it's part of the magical limits of the continuity. Heck, many of them have magic that lets you recover from being dead. So coming back out of a wound that, left alone, is imminently fatal and thus a mortal wound, is almost childsplay depending on how the author chooses for magic to behave.

This is gonna be great, I can tell.

~Crystalline Electrostatic~

9170120
You are of course correct. Like I said, I was only trying to help. I'll keep my mouth shut in future.

Interesting. We'll have to see where this goes.

Considering that that blast Twilight habitually uses appears to be concussive in nature, I expect extraordinary internal trauma. Imagine a can of soup propelled clear through someone's physiology.

Twilight really ought to expand her repertoire of combat magic, A few sub-lethal spells could have led to a completely different outcome here.

"Shot through the heart and your to late! You give love a bad name!"

Comment posted by Avatar Sprite deleted September 14th

9170208

Little overboard there, friend. Speak up all you want, whenever you like. I was just adding on to the thought with an observation. No one has chastised you.

9170208

What you said actually helped out a lot. More than that, always be willing to speak your mind. But yeah, nothing was overtly negative towards what you said, just a matter of competing perspectives. So cheer up and say whatever's in your mind/heart. :twilightsmile:

i dont know why but every time the evolved changlings were brought up in this my mind auto filled a following comment that basicly has chrysalis saying that they would all die in some fashion or another because of this evolution... i dont know why.

Chrysalis then proceeded to build a special life-support system from scrap, then went on to make a suit of armor.

And that was the origin of: Iron Bug

“We didn’t ask for any of this, nor do we want to take away your pride.” Twilight shook the stars out of her eyes from the intense use of magic. “All we want is to stop fighting and find a peaceful end to this violence!”

I like it that you can see the situation either in Chrysalis favour or in Twilights favour, depending on if your willing to think more into the problem of the changelings not being accepted the way they where before they transformed, or if you just accept what you see in the show and think of her as the bad guy and nothing more.
That's not my opinion right now, I just saw good reasons why they aren't as bad or how the situation could have solved better which I liked.

Twilight shook her head. “We haven’t done anything but defend ourselves. It was your spite and selfishness that was your downfall. If even a drop of all that stolen love reached your frozen heart, you could have avoided all of this!”

baaahh since this is not the fanfictions I meant, it's hard to say something on Chrysalis behalf, but while it's maybe not Twilights problem, it could have been something Celestia or others did that was leading to them acting like this.

“Think of all the friends you could have. The love you could get if you just opened your heart, even just a little bit.”

No Chrysalis run, she wants to harmonize you and change your colour.

Oh...a contest huh?......I hope that doesn't means this is just a five to six chapter project.
I mean I like it even if it makes me remember the behavior from characters in other stories, which I try to seperate from this story.

I would like to see an explanation for both of their believes or whatever Skijarama wasw talking about.
I guess I can live with Chrysalis being wrong with her believes if that is what you choose to write, since I think I accept how you write Twilight enough.
It would be perfect for me however if it would be something where you could understand both sides and where Chrysalis doesn't transform. Personaly I want her to get a bit nicer, but force Twilight to accept a less "pony" part of her personality and then they work together to make the others accept that too.
Not sure if this could be some sort of friendship project they do, a bit similar to accepting Discord the way he is or nearly how he is.






9170085
Which song? I didn't found a link.


9170120
I guess I agree with it, but depending on how strong the healing magic is there, I maybe start to see problems with it, nothing I can really explain.

Cliche as hell ending to the chapter but I'll see where it goes. One of my favorite pairings, after all.

9170611
its in the title of the story....

You have my attention.

9170757
Not sure what you trying to tell me with that, oh...maybe the name of the song?. how should I know that it was a song?

9170271

Alicorns are OP! Although it does bring up the thought; how do non-unicorn ponies open a soup can? If their can openers are anything like mine, they'll need two hands to wrestle with it, another to hold the can down, then another to twist the flanges... then give up after the supposed "can opener" mangles the lid, the edge of the can, and at least a few fingers in the laughable attempt to gain sustenance from the soup can's contents.

It's little wonder that Twilight uses the soup can for a sabot round in her railgun spell, I would too in frustration-- Chrysalis was tragically in the wrong place at the wrong time, that's all.

9170847
Because its an immensely popular song by a massive band that filled popular culture to the point that I'm not even a fan and I've heard that song more then I care to admit.

9170968
AFAIK, Ponies don't have canned food. I've only ever seen it in the S5 season finale, the war on Sombra
9170611
https://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=lyrics+shot+through+the+heart&&view=detail&mid=24FE5CF57FCF50C0321C24FE5CF57FCF50C0321C&&FORM=VRDGAR
How can you NOT have heard this?
It was one of Bon Jovi's biggest hits -in 1984.
So they haven't had a new song in (10+ years?), that's NO EXCUSE!
https://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=bowling+for+soup+1985&docid=608002900201571354&mid=10E88A9A008AD5E163AB10E88A9A008AD5E163AB&view=detail&FORM=VIRE

9170993

9171022
Easy, if I heard it then most likely in a radio and I don't cared enough for names of songs or bands I heard from moments like that, I just heard them.
Not my favourite song even if I can't say that it is bad, probably more a song my friend would listen too.
It isn't that unbelieveable.
I just recently started to collect names of certain songs outside from what I usually watch or whatever other source I get them from.

I still see no reason why I should have been gotten hooked up by that band.
Never really cared for more than the name of the song that I heard and "really" liked.

I'm not one for whorshipping a whole band and stuff like that, not saying that it is bad or you do it. However it's no miracle that someone doesn't knows your favourite band.

edit: It maybe doesn't have anything to do with it, but I still like to mention that I'm not exactly that old.
I mean I probably heard it somewhere on a party without concentrating on it, but if you don't know it or search for it, then you don't know it consciously. (I hope it sounds in english as I mean it in german)

Alright. You have a chance to make something great here. Next chapter needs to be called "you're too late"

I'd always considered the notion that the biggest hole in a changeling's body was the gap where their heart should be.

And the key to their redemption was learning to have one again.

9168904 A 'General Grievous' wound, one might say? :trollestia:

“Actually…” Twilight pondered aloud, “you have a point. I know practically nothing about you.

Neither do we, the audience. Blame the show writers. :trollestia:

9171208
Hey, I was just kidding. I mean, AFAIK, they haven't had a new song since (2006?). They are still touring but, IMO, they have crossed the line from "Rock Band" to "Musical Nostalgia Act". There is no reason on God's Great Earth why ANYONE under, say, their late 20s would have heard of them (& even then, only if they were Rock fans)

They were really good, though (& have several platinum albums & some Grammys to prove it)

Can't wait to check this one out!

This looks good!
Looking forward to it!

Shot Through The Heart

The title to this story/1st chapter name is a reference to the song by Bon Jovi - You Give Love A Bad Name.

I am looking forward to the next chapter.

:yay:--and you're too late, you gave looove a bad name, bad name.
You played with my heart, and you're too lame, you gave looove a bad name, bad name.

You gave looove, a bad name

I tried to remember it from the heart, but I always bleep up, okay?:fluttercry:

9171208
It's not so much "worship" of the band as anyone who pays even the slightest bit of attention to the world of music has heard of Bon Jovi and that song. That's why everyone is so incredulous: you'd have to be living under a rock in Antarctica to not have heard this song. Congratulations, you are officially Out Of Touch with Humanity.

9173559

Alright, let's not have this get out of hand. We need to respect that everyone's knowledge on anything media related is very subjective. If someone doesn't know about a particular song or band, that's actually awesome for them because they will get an awesome first impression with some of our favorite songs/artists. Bashing them for the "crime" of not knowing "X" artist or "Z" song does nothing but make them feel unwelcomed.

Please don't let this get out of hand, everyone. If someone doesn't know something, help them out (positively), don't belittle them for it. Be mature.

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