Where are you going, little one, little one?
Turn around and you're just hatched,
Turn around and play a game,
Turn around and you're a changeling princess who will soon be Perfect!
Chrysalis had a happy childhood, er, grubhood. Raised in the hallowed tradition of changeling princesses, she studied hard, played pranks, and loved her siblings. It was all so... perfect! Then one day the illusions around which she had built her life were revealed, and everything came crashing down...
This story is an entry in FanofMostEverything's Imposing Sovereigns contest.
Chapters (1)
Oh wow I like that idea of her backstory that would explain a lot of her character.
And adorable picture
I would have figured ponies
They say every woman is doomed to become her mother. Chrysalis will not be spared from this fate, though she will be usurped prematurely, and by a most unlikely challenger. For now, though, we have a tragic tale of a cycle of vicious fear perpetuating itself in a society where compassion cannot survive for long.
Thank you for this. Best of luck in the judging.
8037392
I had been thinking about this ever since the season 6 finale. FOME's contest just gave me a nudge at the right time. And yes, I'm enormously please with the artwork!
8037890
I'm not sure you finished typing your comment...
8038129
Thanks for giving me the opportunity (and motivation) to get this story out of my head and into words! It felt good to write again after these very busy past few months. I look forward to reading the other contest entries!
Very nice backstory for Chrysalis. Loved what you did here.
S'creative, and depressing, and upvote worthy, but mostly depressing. Poor Pupa and Chrysalis
8039431
8040011
I wasn't kidding when I set all those dark tags!
Kinda wanna give her a hug...
~Skeeter The Lurker
8050390
If only the adolescent social empath hadn't woken up betrayed, alone, in a charnel house partially of her own making, maybe things would have been different for her. If only. Yeah, she could have used a hug.
Who made the picture?
Hmm. Hmmmmm.
Though not the nicest thing I could do, I'm going to channel Sugarcoat here and be brutally honest with you, because understanding criticism is the best way to improve as an author. I'm not sure why Skeeter liked this story so much as to give it an honorable mention. Sure, it's good. You tackled an interesting premise and executed it well. The problem is that Trick Question did it better, and in my opinion it's not close. Motherly had a plot which was more plausible, captured the main character's voice far more effectively, and employed more elegant prose. I'd recommend you give it read if you haven't yet, and learn by example.
8069526
I did read Trick Question's entry and liked it a lot. His take on the early psychology of Chrysalis was very different from mine, painting a darker picture of overall Changeling society than I did. Also, I was going for the tragic aspect of the "survivor" category.
As to the prose, I write on FIMfiction to improve my writing skills. Comments from readers are highly appreciated as they are how I measure my success and discover where I need improvement. Thanks for the feedback!
Reviews for the Survivor category are up.
8095631
Thanks for the review! It was truly a pleasure to participate in such a great contest!
An interesting take indeed. I did wonder for a while whether the setup made sense, but then I spotted your brief clue (perhaps too brief) and it explained matters well enough. The character interactions were the main reason I liked this.
8241816
One of the big challenges of portraying the very young is their lack of contextual base and its impact on their perceptions: things that may be obvious to an adult may just fly right over their heads. This is especially so if the story's PoV is that youngster.
This was enjoyable!
Hm
Oh, I think I know who's going to be queen.
Has she lost her memory?
10457788
Trauma sometimes leads to memory loss. And worse. This is one of these cases.
10457809
I.e. she got hit in the head?
Admittedly I feel a bit weird about that memory loss: if I understand correctly, the story is supposed to be about how Chrysalis learned to be a dick. But how she is going to learn if she can't remember her teachable moments?
10457836
Trauma is not necessarily brute force. It can emotional also. Combining the the two is a recipe for psychosis. Chrysalis was driven over the edge not only by what was done to her, but by what she did in response to it. It was too much, and her mind fractured like mirror
8521478
That it was my friend.