• Member Since 27th May, 2017
  • offline last seen 53 minutes ago

Darkstarling


I think far, far too hard about things. These things include magical ponies.

T

During her engagement to Shining Armor Princess Cadance makes a new friend, the pegasus businessmare Chrysanthemum Crown. Beautiful, confident, and full of surprises, the two strike up a rapport that brings light to both their lives.

During the preparation for the Invasion of Canterlot, Queen Chrysalis finds herself deep in the good graces of the pony Princess she will replace. And the more she gets to know her, the more she understands why Cadance is the Princess of Love.

Written for the Dear Love: A Beautiful Discord Contest
Cover Art by Lopoddity

Chapters (3)
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Comments ( 90 )
Ri2

Oooh. Fascinating. Loved seeing this from both sides!

Ri2

The O and O session was great. This is wonderful.

Too bad there can't be a happy ending.

I no we need a sequel for this, maybe a hundred years after?

Ri2

I knew it was going to end in tears. Doesn't make it hurt any less.

Thanks for entering! I can't wait to read it!

Excellent read but I can't help wanting a happy ending. We know where this goes canonically.

my god what a good read but....

WHAT!?!?

I need MOAR!!! :D

I understand what you were going for though and it was absolutely splendid. I really do hope you write a full fledged sequel. I want to see them have their happy ending dammit! PLZ PLZ PLZ!!!!

Maybe after the invasion? and then cut forward a hundred years? that would be very interesting indeed.

Love your work man, keep it up!

Wonderfully woven in. A pleasure to read.

There is no way this is going to end well.

Why not?

Oh, man, I do love a good Chrydance.

Beautiful, truly beautiful.

I’d absolutely love seeing them meet again in a sequel. My heartfelt congratulations on such a wonderful perspective.

I presume meeting again after years of (likely bloody) combat would not do good things to there relationship. Especially given their resolutions at the end of this story.

Assuming that Chrysalis even ever decides to tell Cadence about that time they were in love with each other.

All that being said I do love fluff...

Comment posted by zxzxzxzxzx24 deleted August 15th

This fucking hurts man.

I must say, this was an extremely well-done story, and I say that as a fellow competitor. Hopefully, I'll be able to match your story in quality.

I like how you managed to squeeze canon to make the pairing work and how the love affected CHrysalis in the Season 2 finale. The only note I would have is that the changelings never had a front company in canon. But beyond that, this was very canon-accurate. Well done!

Oh, that is a rare hurt indeed. I didn't need my heart anyway. :pinkiesad2:

Seriously, not many "sad" romances actually feel this heartbreaking. Damn good job.

Ah, so many problems could be solved with a good Herd. Chryssi and Cady could love one another and share Shining too.

This has started out veeery well. I’m eager to see more. 👀

Somehow that snippet from their O&O campaign reminds me of this comic that I saw someone link to somewhere once...

link to image

Figures changelings would be all about the Black Goat with a Thousand Young.

Geez, twist that knife, why don’t you?

9111257
Then I hope you enjoy the rest even more.


9110047
I'm glad it worked, the alternating perspectives was tricky.

9111297
I was hoping someone would get the reference :pinkiehappy:

9111301
It seemed quite appropriate

9110293
That's hilarious!

9110069

9110898

9110373

9110940

9110257

That's really flattering. I'd certainly love to give them a happy ending, it was hard enough writing the tragedy ending in the first place. I wouldn't rule out an eventual happy ending, but things are going to get worse for Chrissi before they get better.


9110977

Thanks! I'm sure yours will be. I'm looking forward to reading it. And yeah, no canon front company. Then again, in this story no one found out about it yet either so...

And yeah, I was trying hard to stick to 'this could have actually happened offscreen'. And in turn alot of that became 'Why is Chrysalis the way she is.'

9111143

It would indeed. Cadance even knows it. Alas...

9110944

9111318

9111008

Thank you, that's a huge compliment. I'm glad it worked. I guess they're telling the truth when they say authors have to be sadists, the original version was just petty and so I had to make everything worse until it worked.


9110752

It works far better than it's got any right to honestly. You wouldn't think the Princess of Love would have chemistry with the lovechild of Trixie and Queen Arachnea, and yet...

By the Shepard man, that was....wow...really well done!

"I'd been doing that alot tonight."
"I'd been doing that a lot tonight."?

"Chrissi and I were staggering of the Flamingo Dance Club"
"Chrissi and I were staggering out of the Flamingo Dance Club"?

"so hot it set the floor on ablaze."
"so hot it set the floor ablaze." or "so hot it set the floor on fire."?

"with deep potential and strong for it's age."
"with deep potential and strong for its age."?

"And I know Shining's Armor's heart"
"And I know Shining Armor's heart"?

"enough for the rest of world to vanish"
"enough for the rest of the world to vanish"?

You know, I'm actually kind of glad I missed seeing the "Tragedy" tag; the ending came as a surprise.
Quite a nice story!

edit:
...Oh, hah. And is the title a pun on "royal jelly"? :)

Twelve Percent is a reference to Going Postal’s Reacher Gilt, yes?

Tell me before I read it, potentially in a pm please, do Shining and Cadance break up in this story? I just don't think that I'm interessted in it if they are three persons in a relationship.

I don't read much that I like these days, but I liked this.
Would have liked maybe one last part from Cadence's perspective, though.
Maybe have Chrysalis decide to fake her alter-ego's death in a ploy to emotionally terrorize her "enemies" so that they're more sloppy and less prepared against fending off her invasion plan.
Chrysalis kidnaps Cadence in the guise of Chrissi, and Cadence is just entirely frozen at the sight of the seemingly dead mare and unable to defend herself.
When Chrysalis reveals her true form and nature, Cadence will instantly hate her, believing that this monster dared to take the form of her best friend just to attack her.
It would heart Chrysalis terribly, but she'd do it to herself willingly- a sort of self-punishment for what she's doing.

Oglaf is a brilliant comic, best idea for an o&o scene.

9111498
I am currently imagining Chrysalis revealing what she feels and how much she feels while she has Cadance alone underground in the mine. Telling her how they're going to be together forever now that she has her. Telling her how much Cadance taught her and her entire race about the ways and types of love, and how love itself works. Telling her how their time together meant so much to her.

And Cadance begging her to just come out and join her and Shiny. Being together and being happy. How she has enough love in her to feed her entire race and make sure they will never starve again. Begging her to love her and come out into the light and be with her...

And it hurts my heart.

I really hope you write a follow up to this. There needs to be some closure and some delicious drama to follow. Currently imagining post 'blasting off again' with Shiny and Cadance hunting down Chrysalis and the other Changelings to try and make it right.

Forgiveness is one of the biggest virtues of the ponies, after all. And second chances. Chrysalis/Shiny/Cadance deserves to work in some world.

9111498
I'll admit, I was kinda hoping the Chryssi would just say, "well, I can wait a few centuries," and just tell cadence the whole thing. But Chryssi has the guts to follow her duty as queen. props to her, for sticking to her guns.

I really want a happy to this. maybe Chrysalis bonding with flurry heart as an "imaginary friend?"

SO much potential. I really hope you do a sequel to this

tl;dr sequel pls

It has been awhile since I read a good tragedy that actually deserved the tag.

Like many commenters, I too would like to see a happy ending but sometimes the pain of a tragedy shouldn't be patched over.

Oh my goodness this was amazing. I'm with everyone else, a follow up would be fantastic (and probably insanely emotional)
Thank you for this amazing read.

Loved the story (and the SC references, big fan) :pinkiehappy: Well done!

great story, would also love to see a 'hundred years later' but this was a very well told and perfectly self-sufficient story on its own.

"Ha! More of a desert lair really." She leaned forward conspiratorially. "In a volcano the minions keep falling into lava, and the travel time to the mainland is just murder." We both laughed at that, and she sat down next to me. "Actually, believe it or not, I really am here for the charity. The Fortunate Foster Foundation does good work, and I think my rare appearances multiply my impact."

They both laugh, but for VERY different reasons. "it was silly the first time, funny the second time, HILARIOUS the third, but after that I started to realize I needed to move out or I'd soon have no minions. "

Damn it damn it damn it damn it DAMN IT!

:trollestia:

Don't hiss in public.

Damnit thorax. :trollestia:

"Well, you were lucky enough to meet her on a day when she wasn't in the mood to pretend. This" and he gestured to the room, scattered legislation and research and all "is who she wants to be, not who she has to be. And she trusts you enough to let you see it. So remember that when she makes herself peanut butter and banana sandwiches and margaritas."

That sounds like an amazing combination and I do not even drink!

9111498
For me, experiments along the lines of "how close can I adhere to canon while revealing behind the scenes action that makes characters completely different" have a high failure rate. But this was so, so excellent. The thing is, I can't see this as actually taking place in canon, though it does seem to be technically canon-compliant up to A Canterlot Wedding. To me it's a beautiful, subtly different AU (subtly different, that is, from the show's POV and up to this point in history) that could have taken two different tacks: one, the path it took; two, Chrissi invites Cadance to a days-long super important meeting that turns out to be on the topic of "this is what I am and you're sort of kidnapped now, but please tell me how I can achieve my goals as ruler without invading Canterlot".

Cadance, Princess of Food.

Ha.

haha masterwork by "four seasons" lol. great vivaldi ref bro.

This was great. I am usually skeptical of tragic stories (in that quiteba few don't know what tragedy is) but this was great.

9112150

As the author stated, it works quite well as to what happened behind the scenes. The explanation for Luna's curious absence still felt like a throw-away line however, but that too could be expanded into its own entire story considering there's not a single shred of evidence pointing to the plausible truth... much like the Changelings or a hundred pony hamlets across the Equestrian map themselves.

It's wonderfully amazing how much can be gleaned from these "missing moments" in the show. I eagerly await further explorations into the hidden lives of ponies and parasites. [No offence meant towards changelings]

So much glorious world building potential!

(My own OC pony town that didn't make the map is a little place I like to call Bucksnort-- no relation to the real Bucksnort, Tennessee)

This is a really good, complete and well though out fanfic, pretty rare in these days. The way you wrote it in dual perspectives is really impressive. Very smooth and both sides complement each other wonderfully, although at the end it seems a little bit lacking on Cadance's side. By the end you could go for very short, quick changes between Cadance and Chrysalis's perspectives, similar to dialogues between their mind, to keep them both in context and build up the climax and emotion even more.

Some people may find Cadance a little out of character as compared to canon in this fanfic, but because you laid out the events and built up the story and the relationship so well the readers can easily let that slide. Maybe some would prefer a little more restrained and innocent Cadance but it's not really essential.

I am also really impressed by the way you arranged the events and built up the relationship between Cadance and Chrysalis. First was humor and unexpected side of their characters that attracted them and got them to know each other (chapter 1), then mutual enjoyment (the O&O thing), sexual attraction and intimacy (chapter 2), then revelation of vulnerable side which deepened their relationship and the resolve of conflict (chapter 3). Very logic and really well thought out. I bet you must have spent a lot of time planning out the core of the story. Really worth the praise. However, if it was me I would bring the Dance Club event to the end of chapter 2, after the O&O event. It's an event that builds up the intimacy between Cadance and Chrysalis, therefore it should belong to chapter 2. Like that it would smooth the flow of the story better. As of now it feels a little out of place and disruptive of the emotional build up. Also I feel it a little desirable that Cadance would share more of her vulnerable side with Chrysalis before the climax, maybe her frustration with the way ponies treating her as decoration or her responsibility or such, and then have Chrysalis comfort her, which deepens her feeling for Chrysalis. As in the story now Cadance falls a little short as compared to Chrysalis in her emotional development from friendship to love.

The conflict is not very unique. But the way you wrote it make it very believable and emotional. However, combining dialogues and monologues in the same paragraph is a little bit confusing. Maybe you should put flashback and present, and dialogues and monologues in different paragraphs. Don't write them in the same paragraph, separated only by quotation mark, it's difficult to follow. Give short, powerful paragraphs, like "The memories kept coming." and enter.

A little revise and this should earn 1000 likes.

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