Insanity is only those of the vivid imagination
For five years Chrysalis has spied on the pony solely responsible for her downfall during the Canterlot Invasion. How Twilight has able to see past her? What was her history? And why did Chrysalis find herself so attracted to her? After discovering her feelings for the purple alicorn, Chrysalis attemps to flee Ponyville, only to be captured. Left with no other choice, she is forced to agree to be a part of Equestrian Government.
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Well now. I see that Chrysalis is able to read my thoughts. :P
8099365 mine too
...And this is why you return books to Twilight's library on-time.
More ChryLight yaaaaaaay
Question: why did you suddenly switch from first person even though the focus is still on Chrysalis?
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I was kinda playing with the idea of first person but it didn't really work well in my opinion so I went for third since I am more comfortable writing it
I know, right? Those bastards, all inventing dynamite and setting up foundations giving out awards for advances in science and culture. Pricks.
so Cadance and Shinging have a very open relationship?.....hhhhmmmmm. Oh Rarity!?
The first chapter felt a bit awkward, it might have been the first person.
If Chrysalis didn't realize it was love that she was feeling for Twilight until she became sick, it would be better to dwell on her confusion when she first felt it during the paragraphs about the invasion, rather than outright stating it was love she felt for Twilight. By not stating that Chrysalis didn't realize what she was feeling until several paragraphs after Chrysalis started feeling it, one is left with the impression she realized her feelings right away for a while.
Ideas aren't too bad, but the writing need polishing.
What I'm talking about are sentences like this:
Which should be “So the punishment for trying to kill you would be equal to killing one of us.”
Time to alter the ol' change magic so that the spell stops working.
Well, that went better than expected. Just don't show them your Twilight shrine yet, Chryssie.
hmmmm looks good
More please!!!!!
So is this on a undefined hiatus and will continue at some point, or has the creator stopped making stories or something?
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Life. Life is the answer.
Darker than the usual Celestia. Curious if Chrysalis ever tried to strike back over the next millennium.
NOOO!!!!
DAMN YOU CELESITIA!!
Poor Chrissie
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Agreed seems like something major that Celestia has a lot of regrets over and probably wishes she could just undo her big mistake.
Did you give Zecora an excuse to not rhyme partially so you wouldn't have to write it?
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Honestly, I suck at rhyming that it would be painful to watch me attempt to do so.
OK, that's some extremely heavy crimes Celestia will have to atone for. Hell, Chrissy might let hate go, but you NEVER forget or forgive something like torturing and killing your family and forcing you to watch. Hell, Celestia will most likely fell even worse when (not if) she finds out she made the sister and daughter of the victims watch.
Interesting story, I hope you develop this in the proper dramatic way it deserves. No such past goes by without some major actions.
VERY open relationship, you say...
Paperwork always gets you sooner or later.
I bet Zecora and Chryssie are often doing drugs together.
... I just imagined a cardboard cutout bush with a crappily written sign saying 'NO secret changeling hives here'.
'“It is difficult to make a continuous rhyme and hold a conversation. Plus, Chrysalis asked for me not to rhyme around her for the sake of being able to understand what I am saying better.” The changeling shrugged.' - I think it should be zebra at the end.
'Was this already existing or did you have to make it?' - Did it already exist or
'all the hid it was a crappy bush. Kinda ameture for a race a spies, to be honest.' - all that hid it was a crappy bush. Kind of amateur for
That went pretty well.
... I have a feeling Chryssie wasn't exactly trained extensively before becoming a queen. >.>
Nobels should be nobles.
Wow, that's just... Wow.
Though, I could see it if it was soon after Luna's banishment, Celestia would've been kinda off her rocker back then.
But to lose her mother and her sister and see it happen... D:
Welcome to platform 9 3/4
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Sounds more like she pulled a Koolaid Man really.
an update
, now I got to reread the whole story double 
Not rhyming zecora is a bad excuse to use said character, even in minor situations.
Not a bad story, but incredibly rushed and impractically ambitious
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Exactly my thoughts
Dude ... are you sure about this plot point? I mean, Celestia seeing changelings as monsters—sure. Changeling hunts—sure. Public executions—sure. Torture— ... okay, whatever. But a foreign head of state comes to you, in peace, to ask for peace? Even if they are monsters, you don't respond to that by chopping their heads off. The gratuitous, meaningless torture is nothing in comparison. If Celestia had said, "Fuck you and your peace! Go crawling back to your monstrous kin, and I'll be dogging your steps with my army to slay every last one of you," that would still be ten times better than what you have her doing here.
If you are just doing this to give Chrysalis a good reason to not make open contact before invading, it does not need to be this extreme.
What is the story picture from? I am guessing that it was not done specifically for this story.
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Oh Yeah!!!
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I honestly can't remember
Just read the whole story.
The setup feels rushed.
Celestia's past misdeeds feel overdone, and Chrysalis feels too nice.
But overall it's ok so far.
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8709410
The source is here
So, I can't remember if I commented on the last chapter, probably didn't, too lazy to check... But this concept is interesting to me, it has some aspects of ChrysLight I've seen before, and a couple others that make it interesting for me. Though sometimes I find that the grammar is really well done is areas, and extremely lacking in others, like two author's collaborated on a story idea, know everything they want to do with it, but switch places often and one doesn't know English as well as the other. And now that I've said that I realize that could seem really insulting, though I guess I did mean for it to be mean in some way... Though I will follow it up with saying that I do enjoy the story and will continue to follow it to see what happens.
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So I saw this comment and felt that I should throw in my two bits... Not that anyone really cares about my opinion, I mean c'mon, I'm just some brony fanfic reader/writer on the internet...
I do agree that the setup feels rushed, but I have to disagree that this is a problem, I usually enjoy stories with rushed setup, as long as it makes sense later on in the story, I know I don't like stories with slow setup, it takes too long and I end up not being interested in the story.
That next thing I have to disagree wholly with, I've read some things where Celestia's misdeeds of the past are way worse. Though if you asked me to point you in the direction of them I would find myself lacking memory.
Lastly, I do agree that Chyrsalis' character seems kind of off, almost OOC. But it doesn't quite make it there, because like other stories where you have Chyrsalis not completely evil, you've got her in situations where the ponies ask her accusingly why she didn't try peace before, and she defends herself very passionately, and very smartly. Though, I think another thing that might defend Chrysalis' odd choice of character is the fact that she's had a crush on Twilight for five years.
---
Holy crap that comment turned into a bible chapter... I really need to stop doing that...
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Thanks, I appreciate the compliments. Do have to point out that I am the only one writing and english is my native langauge (from Minnesota) Grammar was just never my strong suit so needless to say I'll never become an English teacher
8711321
The rushed setup is not automaticly a problem, but going from "stop foul villain" to "let's form an alliance" in almost no time gives a major mood whiplash.
There's a dozen chapters of potential story just jumped over, like someone wrote a James Bond novel, and jumped past all the intrigue and started telling a story of Bond giving after action reports.
Which might actually be an interesting story. But even then you'd want some flashbacks to more interesting bits.
Sure Celestia has been written as more cruel (lot of fanfiction around here, everyone has been written as anything), but it feels unnecessary. Maybe it'll become important later.
As for Chrysalis. It's fairly easy to write Chrysalis if not as justified, then atleast understandable and sympathetic about her invasion (need to eat, avoid starvation, internal or external political pressures, etc...), here, however, it feels like she has none of the edge you'd expect from a queen of a hive of infiltrators and shapeshifters.
None of these are storybreaking issues, as i said, the story is ok so far.
And there's no reason it can't improve.
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Thank you.
That particular piece of art caught my eye as the style feels sort of like "old-school animated movie" if you understand what I mean.
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Celestia tortured and killed a diplomatic envoy from a power her nation had never even been at war with (though her citizens were attacking theirs on their own). She did this without even hearing a sentence out of their mouths. Are you sure you've seen a Celestia that did worse and wasn't being actually being written as a villain or a reformed villain?
I mean, I guess you could say that since she did that and now regrets it that makes her a reformed villain, but I didn't get the feeling that the author intended to portray old Equestria as an evil dictatorship. Do you think I was wrong?
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So, I can't remember if I've read anything worse, but something similar, I do remember. Not to spoil too much but in the story Friendship Bling and Changing Things, before Nightmare Moon changelings are revealed by accident. The changeling that was revealed didn't know they were changeling when they were revealed, and so they thought they had been turned into one. Celestia freaks out and orders that changelings be executed on sight, (or something of that nature, don't quote me on that.) When a changeling is killed because of this order. A queen takes it as an act of war and tries to return fire (so to speak.) The attempt caused Luna to go on a full blown witch hunt, killing at least 3,000 changelings (don't quote me on that either.) Probably causing casualties in other hives, and eventually killing the enemy queen. And all that happened from a misunderstanding. But Celestia panicked and was the cause of mass genocide
There's also the story (or minific) out there that has Celestia raze a whole forest to stop small griffin raiding parties from entering Equestria, unfortunately she did it on the wrong day and ended up disintegrating an entire griffin army. Even though it probably could've been avoided if she had just attacked them head on instead of razing an entire forest. Which if I remember correctly was not growing vegetation centuries later, still.
Though, even with the two things I just listed, I have to agree that Celestia tortuing and killing peaceful diplomats because they look funny is on my list of worst things Celestia has done in the past
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I guess we'll have to agree to disagree on what is worse, if the following doesn't change your mind. But this has been a good discussion.
1. This is really bad, but Luna is the one who is doing the worst of it, and the worst of it is still not as morally evil in my eyes as what happens here. They are basically doing the same thing, only with torture, while also executing diplomatic missions as well as random changelings. Perhaps less successful at the mass murder but not for lack of trying (plus the changelings fought back in that story, which doesn't put them in the wrong at all but does tend to escalate conflict).
2. I remember that story (Celestia recalls past events inside the fic). It's unfortunate but not that morally bad: the griffons are long-term aggressors, raiding and killing across the border while their rulers pretend not to know anything. Celestia tries to create a demilitarized zone (wiping out the hiding places on the border) and coincidentally destroys a secretly assembled full-blown invasion. Even if she had done it on purpose it would still have been a completely legitimate military target. As for "what if she had turned it down a notch", I don't recall whether or not that is one of the stories where that IS her lowest power setting.
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8711836
I do plan on going further into the conflict in a couple chapters, so it can get worse or better for either side all depending on your opinions.
This can only end well.
You definitely need an editor. Saw a number of small mistakes.
Doesn't sound ominous at all. Sarcasm aside I'm looking forward to seeing where this is going.
It’s official, love causes gas.