You give love a bad name
“It boggles my mind how this ‘Detective Cobalt’ series has so many volumes,” Chrysalis used her magic to turn the pages of the book clutched in Twilight’s magic. The book was angled just right so the text and pictures were properly illuminated from the flames of the fireplace.
“You would think all his friends would know Cobalt’s identity by now. If I was his guardian, I would’ve figured him out ages ago.”
Chrysalis tightened the heavy maroon blanket they shared around their shoulders. “Yeah, right. You’d just be distracted since he’s cute.”
“No, I wouldn’t!”
Chrysalis glanced down at Twilight, one eyebrow raised.
“...Okay, maybe a little.”
The two shared a jovial laugh, snuggling closer to share the warmth of the fire, blanket, and each other. When the laughter finally died down, Twilight released a blissful sigh. “Thank you for helping to make this the best Hearth’s Warming Day ever, Chrysalis.”
“All I did was agree to attend the pink one’s insufferable party tonight. It’s nothing like the gifts your friends got you.”
“First of all, her name is Pinkie Pie. Second, it is a big deal to me. Stepping out of your comfort zone to take part in a celebration with my friends was one of the best gifts you could’ve given me. Besides, seeing the look on Pinkie’s face when you showed up for her party was a gift in itself. I think you made her year.”
“I’m just grateful I didn’t spend anymore time near her than I had to. I swear I’m a step closer to getting diabetic every second I’m near that pony. Her emotions are more saccharine than the white one’s—”
“—Rarity—”
“—Rarity’s novels that she loves to shove in my face,” Chrysalis finished.
“Don’t be like that. That was a very thoughtful gift from Rarity. Well, not my kind of taste, but I can appreciate the thought. That reminds me, there is one thing I would like to do before the night is over.”
“What would that…” Chrysalis trailed off, then grinned. “I was starting to wonder when you were going to give me your present.”
Twilight averted her eyes. “Present? What present?”
Chrysalis narrowed her eyes. “You can’t be serious.”
“Serious about what? I do have a great friendship speech about the importance of bonds and holiday spirit in mind.”
“You’re a terrible liar.”
“Whaaat? No, I’m totally telling the truth. I got a three hour seminar planned, just for you. I have a ton of activities prepared. Even homework!”
Chrysalis rolled her eyes, failing to contain her smirk. “You’re totally full of it. You can’t even keep a straight face!”
“My face is as straight as an arrow,” said Twilight, cheeks puffed in a pathetic attempt to look serious.
“Twilight,” Chrysalis shook her head sadly, “neither you, nor your face, are in the same dimension as ‘straight’. Now cut it out and give me the present already.”
“I told you, I don’t know what you’re—EEK! Okay, I’ll stop! I’ll stop!” Twilight screamed and laughed as Chrysalis attacked the crook of her neck with nibbles. “Just this one time I wanted to be the one who tricked you and made you feel silly.”
Chrysalis relented, wearing a wicked grin. “While I’m flattered you wish to get on my level, please leave it to the professionals. I could live without another oran—no, Applejack—rant about being a bad influence.”
“Well, as long as I’ve been around you, I had to have picked up some traits, for better or worse.” Twilight shrugged. “Anyway, yes, I wanted to give you your Hearth’s Warming present. Give me a second to grab it.”
Twilight channeled her magic, reaching outside the study room her and Chrysalis currently resided and into her own room. Once she found her target, she triggered the retrieval spell and summoned the object before them.
A velvet box dropped onto Twilight’s hooves. With a meek smile she presented it to Chrysalis. “Happy Hearth’s Warming, Chrysalis.”
Mystified, Chrysalis accepted the gift and held it in her hooves. Twilight waited on pins and needles for Chrysalis to open the box. Her forehoof brushed the exterior as if she was lost in thought.
“How… are you not disappointed or upset?”
“Huh? Why would I feel that way?”
Chrysalis clasped her hoof over the box. “You have such strong feelings for me, but you must have noticed that I can’t return them.”
“Oh, Chrysalis…”
Twilight leaned into her, resting her forehoof on top of Chrysalis’ over the box.
“It still bothers you, doesn’t it? That you haven’t evolved yet?”
Chrysalis’ expression spoke volumes.
“Chrysalis, listen to me. I knew what I was getting into since the start. I understand now that all those weeks ago you made those advances to test the waters. To see if you were capable. I understand how important it is to you to feel strong. Complete.”
Chrysalis grimaced and looked away. “But that’s only half the story, right? It’s difficult to imagine what convinced you to stay with someone who is incapable of returning love. Not unless your guilt has played a significant role.”
“N-No…”
Twilight hesitated for a moment. When her voice returned, she sounded more confident. “I regret what I did, yes, but I’ve made my peace with it. That doesn’t mean I don’t think about it sometimes, but I have something far more important to me to worry about than a past I can’t change. This is all about you. Because you can change.”
Twilight straightened herself up and cupped Chrysalis’ cheeks so their eyes met. The sight of hopelessness in Chrysalis’ gaze made her eyes water. “Yes, it would be nice to see you evolve into a beautiful new you, but I know this isn’t something that can be solved with a spell or has a quick fix. You need time and support, both of which I’m more than happy to give you. However much you need to find the answers you seek.”
Chrysalis’ eyes glistened.
“Chrysalis,” Twilight braced herself, then smiled sweetly, “no matter what, even if for some reason you never evolve, it doesn’t change that you’ve evolved on the inside. I believe in you, so don’t give up.”
A familiar look passed behind Chrysalis’ gaze. Though she smiled, Twilight could find no warmth in it.
“Thank you, Twilight.”
Chrysalis was gone the next morning.
Twilight scoured the castle high and low. Guest rooms. Basement. Kitchen. Neither Spike nor Starlight had seen her. Days of scavenging a Ponyville gave no clues to Chrysalis’ whereabouts. After a week of tireless searching, Twilight had all but given up on her coming back.
Twilight lumbered to her own room, head low and bags under her eyes. With a listless shuffle she navigated towards her mattress. Instead of liven her up, Pinkie’s “Twilight’s Holiday Heartbreak Rebound” party had eaten away the remaining dregs of energy she had left. All she wanted to do now was go to bed and make another futile attempt to push the heartache behind her.
Her hoof had touched the bed when the moonlight’s glare off the dresser mirror across the room caught her eye. She hesitated, lingering on the string of photos lined along the mirror’s edges. She frowned, knowing what she had to do. What she had put off until now. With a groan Twilight walked over to the dresser.
At the top center was the picture of herself, Spike and Starlight in front of the castle, bearing wide grins. Chrysalis took the rear since she was the tallest, hilariously stoic among the bright atmosphere. Twilight took that picture off the mirror and placed it next to the velvet box atop the dresser.
Next to it was a picture of just Twilight and Chrysalis on a hill. Twilight had rarely been happier. With a hoof wrapped around Twilight’s shoulder, Chrysalis bore a nervous grin. One of the few times she gave a legitimate effort to smile for the camera. Twilight repeated the action and placed that photo next to the other.
The pictures and present. Remnants of a happier time which kept her from moving on.
She knew they needed to be gone from her life. Locked up. Destroyed. Something had to be done. Her horn sparked with magic. To do what, she didn’t know yet.
“Did I do something wrong…?” Twilight sniffled, glaring down the offending items. “What did I miss? Why couldn’t she talk to me?”
Twilight reached out with her hoof and cracked opened the velvet case. A longing sigh escaped. Magic ceased in her horn.
Just one more time. If I can see her one last time and talk things out…
Twilight closed the case and looked up at the mirror.
Icy emerald eyes stared back at her from behind.
With a gasp, Twilight spun around, ready to greet her vanished lover. One look at Chrysalis' expression wiped away whatever joy she had.
“C-Chrysalis…?”
Chrysalis’ horn flared with power.
Before Twilight realized what was going on, her legs, wings, and horn were constricted in thick, sickly green glowing rings. She fell to her side, staring up at Chrysalis with wide eyes. There was no love to be found in her gaze.
“Chrysalis?! W-what are you doing?” Twilight attempted to channel her magic, but whatever Chrysalis did to her horn rendered her magic useless. She struggled against the bindings, but quickly realized that they were an obstacle far above her physical strength.
“I warned you how dangerous your feelings would be,” the void of warmth in Chrysalis’ voice sent chills of dread through Twilight. “Time and again I cautioned you on the folly of your naivety. Told you that you would regret it, but here we are.”
“W-why would you—”
Another green ring materialized around Twilight’s muzzle and tightened it shut. All she could muster was a glare.
“I’m not in the mood for friendship speeches this time,” Chrysalis leered. She pressed a forehoof on Twilight’s chest, harsh glare burning holes in Twilight’s forehead.
“I’m sure you’re just burning to understand, even if the evidence is in front of your face. Typical Twilight,” Chrysalis tsked. “Newsflash: I’m going to kill you.”
Twilight's eyes went wide. Her breathing quickened.
“I'd planned on killing you since the beginning. All I needed was a chance to get away with it. However, the very day you invited me into the castle, I instead saw an opportunity to replace you. Once I've done that, I can finally exact my revenge on Equestria, all from a pony who everyone loves and trusts. Of course I will start on Starlight and that filthy traitor Thorax. Their torment will be a beautiful symphony to my ears.”
Everything that we did together. An entire year spent getting to know her. Was all that… a lie? No, the Chrysalis I know has to still be in there somewhere. I refuse to believe she would lie about everything for this long!
“But that's not what you really want to know, is it Twilight? Those months spent under your care? All those romantic endeavors we shared?” She narrowed her eyes, no mercy or regret to be found in her features. “I was famished. Just happened to give my chef a generous tip. That's all.”
The blow struck Twilight harder than any weapon could. For a moment, all she could do was gape at the stranger standing above her.
This whole time… she’s just been playing me? But... but I trusted her. Loved her. And all this time she had planned to betray me? How… how could she?
Power surged into Twilight’s horn. She clenched her jaw. The aura around her forehead grew so bright Twilight was sure she could overcome Chrysalis’ spell—until her magic died out, disobeying her orders.
Bitter tears spilled down Twilight's cheeks. She would have screamed in frustration but held herself back, not willing to give Chrysalis the satisfaction.
Dispirited, Twilight sank back against the hard crystal ground.
She’s giving up everything, all we had, just for some petty revenge?
“So, how does it feel to take a shot through your chest, hm? Hurts, doesn't it?” She glowered. Each word was punctuated with bitter hatred. “Oh, you have no idea how long I kept that in my saddlebag. Well, I'm sure you have some idea.”
Chrysalis’ horn sparked, brimming with magic.
“Don't worry, I won't make the same mistake you did. I'll make it quick, just to show how much I love you, Twilight.”
Love? I should’ve known you could never learn to love. I should’ve never let you in my life! I…
No. I won’t hold onto hatred like Chrysalis did, even if she’s going to kill me. I’m better than that.
Twilight fought the urge to shut her eyes and look away.
For all the mistakes I’ve made, things I’ve missed that led to this, I won’t turn away. I refuse to reject what I’ve cherished.
Her body tensed on reflex, braced for impact.
I refuse to be someone like you!
The magic in Chrysalis’ horn turned a brilliant green, reaching critical mass.
Only to suddenly cease.
Twilight blinked, then realized Chrysalis’ attention was no longer on her.
Chrysalis levitated the velvet box into her hooves. “Almost forgot about this. I bet whatever this Hearth’s Warming gift is, you worked hard to make it. It would be a shame if I destroyed it, wouldn't it?”
Twilight's answer was a furious snort and growl. Are you serious?! How long are you going to drag this out, you sadist?!
Chrysalis rolled her eyes. “Hate me all you want, but I let you have your way for a whole year. All I want is just a fraction of that time back. Is that so much to ask? Now let's see what pathetic trinket you got for me.” She cracked open the box.
Chrysalis’ smirk fell.
Platinum shimmered in Chrysalis’ transfixed stare. She picked up the chain in her magic and placed the box on the dresser. The heart-shaped locket dangled before her, emerald orbs beholding a matching stone cover. Absentmindedly she flipped open the locket.
Inside the locket was a photo taken some weeks prior. Chrysalis sat on a loveseat with Twilight leaning against her side, eyes closed and smile wide. Chrysalis had been caught lost in thought while staring down a glass of apple cider, smirking.
Chrysalis stared at the locket in awe, failing to recognize the stranger in the photo. Her expression gradually shifted from startled, to confusion, to utter contempt. Her heated gaze floated between Twilight and the locket, as if she couldn’t make up her mind who to murder first.
When the gaze finally stopped at Twilight, she readied herself for Chrysalis to attack or say something to drive another stake in her heart. Instead, she turned and moved toward the balcony window, horn flared with magic. Twilight barely managed to catch her mutterings.
“Looks like we’re at an impasse.”
The bindings on Twilight dissolved. Chrysalis’ horn was still active. Twilight knew what would happen next.
She scrambled onto her hooves and ignited her horn. A peculiar sight gave her pause when Chrysalis’ wings fluttered.
What are her wings doing? That’s not an attack Chrysalis could normally—
The realization struck her like a brick.
“Chrysalis, wait!”
Twilight whipped up a veil of magic to trap Chrysalis in a bubble. The barrier nearly enveloped Chrysalis when she vanished in a flash.
Trapped in the shield was the only part of Chrysalis she had left: the locket.
Twilight struggled to catch her breath, shaking with adrenaline. So much happened in that single moment she couldn’t process. Not right now anyway.
Still encased in magic, Twilight pulled the locket into her embrace. Tears flowed freely. Yet, for the first time in days, Twilight found the strength to smile.
Chrysalis’ wings had been glittering.
She made it.
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Really? Just like that?
Well damn this was rather enjoyable
I'm not going to lie, I was not a fan of this ending. It isn't really a twist so much as something completely out of left field. There wasn't any indication of this at all. It feels like 5 chapters were somehow forgotten in between this and the previous.
Like, the last chapter ends with a kiss, and then you basically open up to Chrysalis about to kill Twilight while dismissing everything that happened. Her characterization up to this point doesn't make any sense with the actions she took.
All in all, this feels like between the last chapter and this, the evil thing that infected Luna happened upon Chrysalis. It's like if Starlight suddenly turns around and kills Spike and Twilight after a three season mentorship and a load of characterization devoted towards the opposite of that.
It just seems like a nightmare Twilight would have, where her deepest doubts become true even if they are completely rediculous. It's the same exact thing as when Starlight had the nightmare of her village rejecting her in the Season 6 finale. The bad guy in the nightmare exposits how everything was actually totally, like, a ruse or something.
I can imagine Chrysalis disappearing, and maybe leaving a note but nothing else. That fits with her character well in this story. But you can't just throw away her character by just saying the entire story was a lie. There's no point in reading the first four chapters if nothing in them is relevant to the conclusion apart from Chrysalis saying it was, like, totally fake.
Sorry about rambling, but I really was enjoying the story. Up to now, it was extremely well done with deep characterization for Chrysalis and Twilight, at a pace that feels realistic without too many unbelievable moments.
Good luck on your future writing, but I suggest you at least foreshadow something like this. You should do more than just foreshadow to allow the suspension of disbelief persist through the end of a story. That said, foreshadowing is the absolute minimum.
hmmmm i game either way
9207599
That's pretty fair criticism, and I thank you for letting me know! When it came down to it, I had a particular mindset and angle I wanted to approach this from. I certainly made a gamble with how I did things, and I can see the argument for having stronger foreshadowing. Between limited word count and some of the more... subtle concepts I worked with in this story, it did feel a bit like I was between a rock and a hard place with execution. I'll definitely keep your advice in mind in the future.
9207630
I basically agree with everything Caffienated Pinkie said there, plus that's a really abrupt, unsatisfying ending. It leaves far too much unsaid, and really needs to be expanded on. It's a cliffhanger with no resolution.
Edit: Also, I can see that ending (and the last chapter as a whole) turning a lot of upvotes into downvotes.
While being a bit rushed and needing better foreshadowing and character development, i could definitely see a possible sequel for this.
I would complain about the ending... except it sets up an even better sequel if you go that route.
You better fucking go that route.
~Crystalline Electrostatic~
9207682
OMG I didn't think anyone else remembered Your Favorite Martian. I was sad when their Youtube channel disappeared.
Well this was the worst thing ever. Super solid shipfic just thrown in the garbage like that?
9207643
It did for me. I turned my upvote to a downvote and removed the fic from my favorites. What a waste of a story.
I must have missed something, why was there a word count limit?
Personally not a fan of endings that leave me thinking the story is unfinished. Great story overall though.
Seriously? That’s it? Feel like I wasted my timed reading the previous chapters, there was no foreshadowing of this bait and switch and the end bit isn’t an ending it’s a cliffhanger hoping to be an ending. The mood whiplash is real. I expected her to change, but this was just bleh. Heck, I partly expected her to run away and just not come back. Was hoping for character growth leading to a change and accceptance or maybe her running away in denial or being conflicted but to come back later. Or not coming back and staying away because she doesn’t want to admit it or something.
This feels like it needs an epilogue or a rewrite.
Far better take on what you attempted is Changeling Courtship Rituals.
9206971
9207255
Have you ever seen it in person? I'd found what looked to be a bunch of monarch butterflies chilling on what I assumed was a big mound of clover. When I walked up and i could finally see after the mass of red-orange and black flew off in a panic, it turned out to be a dead goat.
I gave the butterflies devil horns when I walked by while they had retreated to a nearby tree. It was quite surreal, but all-around awesome.
Fun fact, if the moth or butterfly is brave enough and you don't move too much, they'll drink from your open wounds too.
While I figured a planned betrayal was a possibility from the second chapter on, and I appreciate what you tried to do here, this ending was super abrupt and unsatisfying. I actually hoped for the betrayal route, as I felt it would make a more interesting story, but I hadn't expected it to end with it. I still generally enjoyed the story, but I was really hoping to see more of the story beyond this. Twilight has sufficient proof now that Chrysalis has feelings for her, has good reason to believe that this betrayal won't be repeated — there's no reason the relationship can't be salvaged, if not with a huge amount of effort. Now there would be a lot more doubts and guilts to work through to begin to repair the relationship, a lot more obstacles for a continued relationship to overcome, which can all make for a far more interesting story to follow. Seeing it end here just feels like a waste. I hate to be one of those people, but I really hope this story sees a sequel.
I was unsure about who was talking when in the beginning.
I dislike the timeskip here, the party sounds like something I would have liked to see, at the same time however I always wish such characters don'T let the main six do everything to them.
oh I like that, I thought it would be about Apllejack wanting to change her and Twilight wanting that too, but it looks like she rather picked up some behavior from Chrysalis.
Oh no please no, I forgot a second that this happened at all.
I kindo f hope she isn'T going pale in the end of the story.
NNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOO I only really hated Thorax transformation, but I really don't want them all to turn into the new changeling race or Chrysalis changing to much. There is always a chance she get's a weird look and starts to act a bit to friendly.
Well nice chapter I guess even if I was not sure about the end and the "chrysalis changing" thing.
Well that was nice surprise, not a lot of ppl try to go outside lovely dovely bleh. This is good example of stockholm syndrome in strange kind of situation. I liked that there wasnt woosh and chrysalis just changed it would be disappointing
I will say, to all the people not getting the word count or plot twist, read the submission rules for the contest that this was written and submitted to, which clearly states the maximum word length, and even general plot.
That being said, any kind of foreshadowing would have been helpful.
I still love the story, the ending is super bittersweet for multiple reasons, and it left me feeling empty inside.
If you can make me feel emotions like that with writing then i think you did an overall good job.
Honestly, this chapter should be 100% completely scrapped and chucked into the trash. It's shit. Everyone else is being a bit more nicer with their words, I'm not, it's shit.
I'm not mad, just full of disappointment. You had a nice, fluffy story that we all knew was going to have some sort of "Oh Chryssi is going to probably be really conflicted with her feelings then she is going to run away and eventually she is going to come back". We know that's coming, that's what we are here for, watching Chryssi redeem herself and maybe become a glittery gay deer would have been nice, and would have subverted my expectations since most authors keep her as a Changeling instead of... whatever they are now. Fandom hasn't settled on a name apart from /mlp/ calling them "faggot deer".
Back on track, you clearly wanted to shock us, make us fall for the twist and maybe subvert our expectations. The problem with Twists, is that when they are great (The Others as an example, avoiding the Sixth Sense as the go-to), they are absolutely amazing and facilitate a more enjoyable second read, primarily because we can piece it together over the chapters/scenes. Bad plot twists come with no lead-up, no guesses and is all HA GOTCHA. Amazing twists bring people back and satisfy, bad twists get you this comment section.
It seems like a perfectly great story was rushed last minute to fulfill the requirements of the contest, which in turn makes an extremely unsatisfying ending which kills the chances it has to win said contest.
People want a sequel, I just want the final chapter to match the skill and storytelling of the rest of the chapters. I wouldn't be writing this if I didn't think you were good enough.
Edit: As a little further proof of a good twist or ending vs a bad one. I want to tell people this ending so they don't read this story. Otherwise I'd recommend your story and not reveal the ending. You can see how that works.
Honestly, it was way too abrupt. And since you have zero foreshadowing, it doesn't feel like she faked for an year, just that she also fell in love and for some reason doesn't believe to stay with Twilight anymore. Maybe she wants Twilight to kill her and hoped she'd break the bounds and do it, specially because the locket scene makes absolutely NO SENSE AT ALL with the actual betrayal route.
Specially if she learnt how to love
So yeah, this needs a rewrite if that reversal is what you want, no offense.
Also how dare you not put "Darling" in the chapter name? The nerve!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, NOT LIKE THIS!
9207811 This was an entry for this.
9207989
I agree wholly, I loved this until this chapter, and even recommended it to others, and then this... I'm really tempted to give the story a thumbs down, which would be the first story ever to earn one from me.
You know what... I would have LOVED this ending had it all been a ploy. A massive mood whiplash, and a bit of a troll, but that would have been amazing.
I was thinking that this Chrysalis is a little OOC, but then she doesn't really have much character, at least not in the main show. I tend to think of the comics when it comes to Chrysalis, but not everyone does.
All in all, I think I preferred this mood-whiplash of this ending, compared to the complete woobiefication of Chrsyalis. Tiger does not change its stripes, after all… and it takes even more for a hungry tiger to not eat a pony. I actually think this is a redemption story done reasonably well... it doesn't show that Chrysalis is redeemed, but that she is on the road to redemption. That despite her anger, she has started to accept friendship and love, and return it, even if just a little.
Good work!
Nope, I didn't.
I already saw in the comments some readers think otherwise, but I actually liked it.
And now I'm wondering what Chrysalis is up to next, since her original plan failed...
You horrible, manipulative, heart rending, beautiful bastard! I love it!
Almost wish this gets a sequel... almost.
I think this was actually rather well foreshadowed with Chrysalis’ blank, emotionless stares in previous chapters. It was clear to me she was up to something. But then, out of the twist and the conflict it entailed, there was a hint of redemption at the tail end that left me wanting more.
I'm stumped literally, I haven't been that invested in a story in quite a while. The Character development seemed to quick until that sharp left turn you mentioned and then it made sense. It's not like your average happy go lucky story, it really takes you for a ride before that surprise twist.
No really, I really can appreciate this story simply because I don't see that level of sucking the reader in nowadays. There are some good stories here and there, but nothing really draws my attention anymore just by title alone. I saw your story however and I was immediately interested.
please make a sequel
Pretty good. Great even. Though I hate nu-changlings and I abhor the idea of chrysalis ever changing appearance.
9209370
I kind of feel the same way. There's room for both to me personally but black lings and chryssie will forever be best. Kind of gives them that sexy evil appearance... Sort of like an SS officer uniform. Something that meant so much bad. Yet looks so damn good... Say what you want about german officers but they knew how to dress sharp xD
I really wonder why I didn't see this coming. Probably because I was in a good mood when I read this story, so I wasn't on my guard (aka being realistically pessimistic).
Anyway, of course you're going to kill her, Chrysalis. No, I'm totally not being sarcastic. *gets to the part where Chrysalis leaves* Oh, I'm sure that you won't return and actually be reformed. You're obviously beyond all hope.
Wow, that was a lot of s I put in there.
Also, small typo. While I congratulate you on using em dashes, there's a hyphen hiding in there.
Is this story a Bon Jovi's reference?
I'm sad this story only had 5 chapters, but I'm happy that we are getting more TwiSalis stories :3
Thank you for writing it :D
You get a like for a good story, but I can't fave, due to the fact it remains unresolved.
Swing and a miss on this last chapter here, mate.
Missing a word.
Damn, that was a twist, then another one! Well done!
9213336
Can't tell what word that would be. Can you elaborate?
9213647
I'm enjoying this so far.
9213647
Not without giving spoilers.
9214824
PM?
9214825
Just did.
9214830
Secret conversations are rad, yo!
Damn the last time I saw an ending as controversial as this one the author killed flash sentry so they could set up a sequel that focused around their OC, now that was legitimately bad this I feel is different. If you follow this story up with a sequel that continues to follow Chrysalis' transformation then Id say this ending is fine, however, if you do not do that then well... this ending is a bit mediocre at best. I do hope you go with the former and explore her transformation and her relationship with Twilight.
You maniac this was so well written and beautiful i can't complain
i have so much mixed feelings 
and 
. So much can happen after that ending, i cant stop thinking , 
what have you done to me.
Can i PM you i wanna talk about this my thoughts wont leave me alone
Couldn't not give you afav for this. So well written, especially once you've made it to the end and realize why certain things happened the way they did. I only wish there was more of a payoff at the end, but you left me wanting more in a way that makes me ok that I don't get more.
9221991
First off, glad I got you thinking! ^^
Also, sure thing you can PM me. I love a good conversation
Good song...and you fit the main lyrics into chapter names...impressive.