• Member Since 7th Apr, 2012
  • offline last seen 1 hour ago



A more realistic take on the opening events of the MLP movie, where the entire cast is NOT hit by plot mandated incompetence. It is, as expected, significantly shorter.

(Minor spoilers for first 15 minutes of the MLP movie, but 90% consisting of what would already be known from the trailers.)

Cover image borrowed from DashieMLPFim

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 595 )
MJP #1 · Oct 7th, 2017 · · 95 ·

we get it, you hate the movie along with every other brony and pegasister worth their salt

honestly we should have known this movie was going to be awful when they had to use a pop song to promote, no movie that uses pop songs to promote them has ever been good

Actually I thought the movie was pretty decent. Not fantastic. Not terrible. Just decent. I just can't resist poking some fun at the mandatory population wide competence nerfing required to get the plot rolling. I've grown to expect Celestia and Luna being hit hard by the Worf effect, but this time around it really hit everyone.

Comment posted by rillegas08 deleted Oct 7th, 2017


Have you actually seen it yet, or are you just shitting on it because you assume it'll be bad?

Definitely plausible.

MJP #6 · Oct 7th, 2017 · · 82 ·

how can we expect to root for these characters when they got themselves into this mess by being idiots, not to mention the movie barely features the mane 6 and instead focuses on new poorly-written character portrayed by elitist trump-hating snobs

Comment posted by MJP deleted Nov 27th, 2017

Seriously? You think they were based on Trump supporters? The Storm King was created to poke fun at the idea that Hasbro only makes shows to sell toys. Tempest was created as yet another foil to Twilight, but different from the rest of her foils. Last I checked, Trump supporters don't create their own merchandise, and they don't blatantly advertise wanting to take over the country.

Also, the show and this film is based in Canada though they used Lionsgate to produce the film. Hollywood has nothing to do with it.

MJP #10 · Oct 7th, 2017 · · 61 ·

ovbvious polical agenda in Hollywood movie is also obvious

How exactly were they being "idots"? I for one found the "moie" to be fascinating in both design and animation, expanding on the world of and beyond Equestria where multiple "oorly-written character", some with admittedly lacking backstories, are "potrayed" by excellent voice talent.

Spell check is a wonderful thing. Please calm down before slamming the keys, mkay?

But seriously, I do actually want to know why you thought they were being idiots.

Thinking the casting of voice talent is some kind of conspiratorial jab at Trump as part of some kind of "agenda" is one of the more batshit insane things I've ever heard. In any creative work, one is incidentally going to accrue a large number of people not particularly fond of Trump, due to the simple fact that most of the world and anyone with an IQ above 50 isn't particularly fond of him.

MJP #13 · Oct 7th, 2017 · · 50 ·


Last I checked, Trump supporters don't create their own merchandise, and they don't blatantly advertise wanting to take over the country.

no but that's pretty much all these elitist hollywood SJW's think they do

No we don't. We know Trump supporters think Trump will fix America, so basically we know that they think that TRUMP is that guy. Which, to be perfectly honest, he is.

By the way, did you miss the part where Hollywood had almost nothing to do with this film? It's a Vancouver franchise.

MJP #15 · Oct 7th, 2017 · · 51 ·

did you just genralize all trump supporters (and practically half our country and electoral college) as idiots, you're no better than the SJW marvel rejects that wrote this thing

MJP #16 · Oct 7th, 2017 · · 24 ·

they basically let the storm king take over in the opening scene, that's not exactly smart characterization nor good writing

What do you mean half our country? Only 26% of Americans still support Trump.

lol "Marvel rejects"

Can I just say that I enjoyed the movie and this story? :ajbemused: The movie was fun and what I liked about in the end was that it revolved around the retelling of the first lessons that FIM taught us. Do I wish that it didn't need to make everyone so incompetent at the beginning, yes. But after that flawed start I was able to enjoy the movie and most of the new characters it introduced (even if they didn't have the best amount of time to shine). PA you did a good job of portraying what would have happened if they kept the beginning the same, but kept all of the main casts' strengths. :twilightsmile:

MJP #19 · Oct 7th, 2017 · · 39 ·

8472151have you seen any awards speech, tweet by a celebrity or snl skit ever since the guy was elected, 75% of the entertainment industry , and practically half the entire planet thinks the guy is literally hitler (a comparison that is beyond stupid IMHO) and want him assassinated,

we need to wake up and realize the blatant pandering SJW propaganda in entertainment, I mean think about it, Star Wars VII, Spider-man Homecoming, Wonder Woman, Handmaid's Tale, Ghostbusters, Star Trek: DIscovery, not to mention 90% of any book Marvel or DC puts out, and now this movie, all of it, blatant SJW propaganda, and the fact this fandom refuses to recognize it when they see it is just appauling

MJP #20 · Oct 7th, 2017 · · 36 ·

first of all, if you got that statistic from CNN or Huffington Post i will shit myself laughing. secondly If it's true that still doesnt mean you can just generalize every one of his supporters as an idiot just like you cant generalize all cops as racist

and i was mostly referring to the half that voted for him last year, not necessarily those that still support him

Hitler instilled a fear of foreigners in the people of Germany, had supporters with the Hitler salute and the Nazi flag, wanted to make Germany great again, blamed his problems on Jews and immigrants, tried to eradicate Jews, Romani, and LGBT people, forced patriotism, all which led up to a world war. Trump instilled a fear of foreigners in his supporters, has supporters who have saluted him with the Nazi salute and wave the Nazi flag, wants to make America great again, blames his problems on everyone but especially Muslims and immigrants, has expressed interest in getting rid of immigrants, Muslims, LGBT people and the protections they have from bigotry, and enforced patriotism, all the while having a dick-measuring contest with Kim Jong Un that in an increasingly plausible scenario will lead to nuclear war between two temperamental manchildren who are used to coercing people into getting what they want and aren't getting it. No, you're right. They're definitely not even close.

I've thought about it, and I don't see how "Star Wars VII, Spider-man Homecoming, Wonder Woman, Handmaid's Tale, Ghostbusters, Star Trek: DIscovery, not to mention 90% of any book Marvel or DC puts out, and now this movie" are blatant SJW propagande. Is it the diversity and inclusivity in an industry that until recently has been 95% white heternormative? Is it the fact that women and minorities are written as if they were actually people and not "oorly-written character" for the sake of making bland white het protagonists look good? Is it the fact that Star Trek has been "SJW propaganda" since the first episode in 1966? Please go into detail about each one and why you think they're SJW propaganda.

MJP #22 · Oct 7th, 2017 · · 22 ·

just because trump has supporters who are neo-nazis doesn't mean that he himself supports them he actually condemned them several times in a press conference, also trump is not putting forward any policies that are racist, anti-Semitic, or Homophobic , if trump was literally hitler as the media says he is, Gay people, jews and Racial minorities would have identifiers and curfews by now, also the 'muslum ban" is just a travel ban on immigration on certain Muslum-majority countries, also, whats so racist about crackng down on people who are taking advantage of welfare or worse, are trying to institute shiriah law, do you realize what unfiltered immigration is doing to Sweden and the rest of europe?

MJP #23 · Oct 7th, 2017 · · 24 ·

i don't think you should belive everything CNN tells you about our nation's leader

Actually, I got that statistic from actual statisticians. Let's see, since only 46% of Americans voted in the election, and less than half of them voted for Trump, that brings it down to, say, 22%. About half of the people who voted for Trump now regret it, leaving the deplorable 11% of Americans. This doesn't include the 54% of Americans who didn't vote, of course, but it's not too much of a stretch to suggest that the spread might be similar. Given that assumption, only 47.8% of Americans supported Trump in November, which brings the number to 23.9% of Americans who still support Trump. Again, 26% is still within the margin of error for that number as well.

Please take a statistics class.

No, you're right. Not all cops are racist. Enough cops are racist, however, that it's affecting how they do their job. Remember how Tamir Rice was murdered by a cop two seconds after they arrived on scene before he could even react to the cop car and before the cop could even get out of the car, and security footage from the gazebo showed it? Remember how Eric Garner was murdered by a cop using an illegal choke hold and refused to let up after being told repeatedly by Garner that he couldn't breathe? Remember how Michael Brown was murdered by a cop from 50 yards away who shot him in the back and lied about every detail, including the detail that Brown robbed a convenience store despite the store owner denying it and security footage showing he didn't steal anything? Remember how Philando Castile was complying with NRA guidelines for how to tell an officer you're carrying a gun, but was murdered by a cop who despite being told he was reaching for his wallet, panicked and fired his weapon into a vehicle with a child in it, and how both the facebook video and the cop's dashcam video showed Castile being compliant? Remember how that pool party in Texas was interrupted by cops who slammed just the black teens into the ground just because a neighbor was afraid of the black kids?

Nah, you're right. These were all justified, I'm sure.

I don't watch CNN, or any news network. They're all biased and based on ratings instead of actual news. I get my news from the people on the ground who, for example, take the pictures of Trump's white supremacist supporters waving Nazi flags around.

Okay, I read this fic, and as a "What If?" fic, it is great. Love it.

Now, that said............

Okay, I went to see the movie yesterday, and I (speaking just for myself, mind you) found it to be absolutely awesome, and was every bit the great, fun movie that I thought it would be.

And since the my (our; whichever) local movie theater has 12 separate viewing theaters in it, they aren't huge by any stretch of the imagination (as you'd expect), but the one that I was in was absolutely packed with people there to see it.
And all of whom (including Your's Truly, of course), from my humble point-of-view, seemed to be enjoying it immensely from the opening scenes to the end credits.

On another (pretty cute) note?

As I was about to go in, I saw these two very cute little girls (who were probably about 6-7, if I were to guess) who both had on shirts with the MLP movie cast on them, and one of whom was carrying both a Twilight Sparkle and a Sunset Shimmer plush.
So definitely an MLP fan, I would say.

About the only gripe that I actually had with it was one that I knew would be in there from one of the trailers, and, given my outspoken disdain of the character, I wasn't exactly happy to see, was Starlight Glimmer.
(Ain't fond of Trixie, either, but they were onscreen for all of two seconds, so I can live with that brief cameo.)
However, I stayed long enough to watch the end credits (I usually always do, as some of them can be as cool as the movie itself), and I was not exactly expecting to see them there, too.
Ah, well. It was pretty much perfect to my mind, anyway, so I'm cool with dealing with a couple of seconds of those two, as they didn't ruin what was otherwise a wonderful and well-anticipated experience for me, as well as all my fellow movie goers.

And for those of you who were griping because it was Lionsgate that produced this, I read on Tumblr a few days ago that another studio was also in the running to make this movie, but Hasbro turned them down flat simply because of the idea they had, and pitched to the company to make the movie.

The company?


And this (in a couple of posts on Wolf Nanaki's Tumblr page) is the idea that they pitched to Hasbro for the MLP Movie:

what happened with the mlp movie and sony you mentioned in that emoji movie post?
Oh boy, story time!

The movie was officially announced on October 20th, 2014, and the big Sony hack happened the following month, November 24th. When the film was announced to be in production, they never mentioned who would be marketing and distributing the thing, and the hack revealed that Hasbro had been in talks with Sony.

From what some of the leaked emails show, Sony was sent an early draft of the MLP Movie. In that version of the script, the main antagonist was an evil alicorn named Cosmo, who appears one day and attacks Canterlot. The main ponies take Celestia’s advise and go beyond Equestria to find the main weapons needed to defeat him, but then a feud breaks out between Twilight and Princess Celestia when it turns out that Cosmo is Celestia and Luna’s long lost brother, and Twilight and Celestia disagree on how to handle this.

The person on Hasbro’s side, who was in contact with Sony, was talking a lot about engaging storytelling was what made the MLP series a success, and something they wanted to keep in the film. But Amy Pascal was harshly critical of the script, pointing out that it relied too heavily on the show’s continuity and would be difficult for casual moviegoers to get into. She recommended that the film should have an isolated story that could stand on its own…and then immediately recommended making it a rehash of The Smurfs Movie, a cheap, 3D animated snorefest with the ponies entering the real world.

Apparently, that just didn’t fly with Hasbro, because the next time we heard about the MLP Movie was on August 7, 2015, when Lionsgate announced they would be promoting and distributing the film. Now it seems like the movie writers did at least take the “isolated movie story” advice to heart, but not in the way Pascal envisioned. And meanwhile, Sony went on to make…the Emoji Movie.

And here's another one:

On the MLP movie production:
Hasbro: Hey Sony! Wanna work with us on the MLP movie?

Sony: Would we! What’s it about?

Hasbro: See, this evil world-destroying threat appears and the six ponies have to travel beyond the borders of Equestria to find the only things that can stop it. It’s gonna be like one of those old school 80s traditional animation adventure things, with music and character exploration and stuff. Take the stuff that works well from the TV show and expand upon that. What do you think?

Sony: That sounds…really complex and stupid. What’s an Equestria? Casual audiences won’t get it. Why not a simple movie where they go to the real world and follow some person around and help them find love? You know, like the Smurfs movie. Also, why traditional animation? Why not 3D?

Hasbro: …

Hasbro: Hey Lionsgate! Wanna work with us on the MLP movie?

So there you go.

Sony pitched it as they'd make it like the Smurf movies, and Hasbro didn't want that.

So, despite what you might think about Lionsgate as a movie house, I'd say that we got very lucky to get the movie that we ultimately did.

Which was excellent, btw.

MJP #27 · Oct 7th, 2017 · · 19 ·


first of all, have you watched the press confrence where condemned those same supporters

and second of all, name one trump policy that takes away the rights of "marginalized" people or legal Immigrants


just because trump has supporters who are neo-nazis doesn't mean that he himself supports them he actually condemned them several times in a press conference, also trump is not putting forward any policies that are racist, anti-Semitic, or Homophobic , if trump was literally hitler as the media says he is, Gay people, jews and Racial minorities would have identifiers and curfews by now, also the 'muslum ban" is just a travel ban on immigration on certain Muslum-majority countries, also, whats so racist about crackng down on people who are taking advantage of welfare or worse, are trying to institute shiriah law, do you realize what unfiltered immigration is doing to Sweden and the rest of europe?

It took Trump three days to disavow a Klan leader's support during the election. In Charlottesville, the white supremacists said over and over again that Trump is one of them and supports them by what he doesn't say. I'll give you a hint: if Trump uses complete sentences and makes sense, then he's been told what to say. Trump doesn't filter anything that comes out of his mouth.

Not putting forward any policies that are racist, antisemitic, or homophobic, you say? Let's see: the Muslim ban (which he blatantly called it) was a ban on travel from Muslim-majority countries who 1) never had any terrorists come from, 2) he doesn't have business ties to, and 3) was anti-semitic because Jews and Arabs are BOTH Semitic cultures.

What's so bad about cracking down on people abusing welfare? Well, nothing as long as they're actually abusing welfare. Did you know that almost everyone who is abusing welfare is a white Republican? Yeah, look it up. It's all old white people. What's more, I actually know an old white Republican woman who is taking advantage of the welfare system because as a young woman she decided she was too lazy to work for a living. Why did you even bring up welfare? For that matter, why'd you even bring up Trump in the first place? Just dislike this fic and move on like a normal human being.

Perhaps you haven't been paying attention, because Trumps administration is all about taking rights away from LGBT. They took down the LGBT page on the White House website back in January and have not put it back up. They continue to spout the belief that gay marriage, not adultery like literally everyone in his cabinet, is ruining the sanctity of marriage. Why, just this weekend Jeff Sessions declared that companies will no longer be prosecuted for firing someone just because they're gay or trans. No policies against LGBT my ass.

Do you know what Shariah law is? There's a lot to it, so here's the link to a simple English rundown of Shariah. Nothing in there talks about overthrowing a nation's laws in favor of Sharia. That's a lie that the far right has successfully told millions of Americans since 9/11.

The same press conference where he called white people who want to murder, torture, and expel non-white and non-straight people from America "very fine people?"

Nah, you're right. Trump DEFINITELY isn't a white supremacist.

As for the policies... it's quite obvious you're ignoring my posts. I've listed dozens.

Reykan #30 · Oct 7th, 2017 · · 13 ·

"Trump is Hitler"
I am both sick of hearing this, especially when they go around saying it with no actual clue as to what is happening aside from what the far-left news groups are telling them. To this day, some parts of the media are still clinging to the Russia scandal thing when they haven't found any evidence of such.
"Trump is anti-immigrant"
No, he's anti illegal immigrant, AKA the Mexican illegal that was deported five times and was recently arrested for murder. Oh, and the illegals California expects us to support financially with government projects.
"Trump is anti-LGBT"
One of his election campaign managers was an openly gay man. I'm pretty sure he doesn't care. There's also a difference in being ambivalent to LGBT and actively enforcing their promotion.
"Trump has Nazi supporters and is therefore a Nazi"
It doesn't work that way no matter how hard you wish. For one, all groups will share similar views on SOME topics. Scary as it may be, you will agree with nazis on at least a few topics. Two, I am glad to have a man who is patriotic as opposed to someone who continually tells me what a horrible bunch of people the United States is. In fact, patriotism was often a way to find enemies, those who do harm to the country from within. You know, like the people parading around as BLM supporters while they loot liquor and shoe stores, some owned by black business owners.


as much as i don't like this movie, sony's pitch sounds way worse, serously, Sony seriously does not know how to hollywood, also, Amy seems to have forgotten that EqG exists (at least EqG plays up the AU and fish-out-of-water concepts better then the Smurfs movies ever could)

MJP #32 · Oct 7th, 2017 · · 8 ·

I believe he was calling the people who weren't white nationalists or nazis protesting the removal of the statue very quietly before the protest escalated good people, and he said that there were good people on both sides and there were bad people on both sides, as this guy, who is not a racist or facist, points out: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SSxmQE4JA_M

look, i've already politicized this enough as it is, you have your opinions, i have mine, if you don't like Trump you can vote for someone else in 2020 or you can even leave the country, nothing's stopping you

Likewise. Have a good time in another country, if you decide to go.

You still haven't said anything about how the film was SJW propaganda.

8472331 Oh, yeah, it does.

And this it true, on all counts.

And to be very honest, when it comes to the Smurfs, I really actually prefer the cartoon version from back in the day.
MUCH nicer, and cooler than what little I've seen of said movies.

Although to be honest, I've never seen the Smurfs movies.
Just not my bag, I don't guess.

I haven't even seen the movie yet, and this is seriously amazing.

I needed this.

Great fic, VERY entertaining! Sorry your comment section got turned into a flame war. Don't let it sour your accomplishment! XD

Thanks. And good news is it seems to have died out on its own before I needed to start blocking people. Not that I'm one to do easily, but things were heading down a troubling trajectory.

Sweet lord on high! Despite the flame war this is a good fic.

Going to ignore the wall of text comments, likely huge digressions. But yea if the plot bomb wasn't dropped the Storm King's invasion would have failed. So as a AU i thought this was funny, especially Starlight enjoying the battle WAYYYY too much. Haven't seen the movie yet so no clue how Storm King loses, no real spoiler there of course he's going to lose, but I imagine him joining a "Villains foiled By Princess Twilight" support group.


Here’s a suggestion, why don’t both of you go drink bleach and die you shit loving fuck lords

I really enjoyed this story. Thank you.


but I imagine him joining a "Villains foiled By Princess Twilight" support group.

Without spoiling anything....


I liked the movie because I expected it to be horrible. It wasn't. But it wasn't great. There were plot holes that anybody who's seen even half of the episodes would poke through like wet paper though, namely literally every single thing mentioned here in this fic. Succinct, and made me lul.

Doesn't matter how edgelord you and your army of cronies are, one letter to Discord's house with the lettering, 'they took Fluttershy' is all it'd have taken to turn every invading blimp into a cheese slice attached to large balloons.

"Yeah, so as it turns out, friendship is magic. I'm guessing you didn't read the dissertation I wrote on the subject. 

It would be like her to do that...

You thought you could just stroll right into the center of town when everypony is here and take the place over?"


Twilight rolled her eyes.

:rainbowlaugh: What the :yay: were you thinking would happen? :rainbowhuh:

"Yeah, this seemed like a much better idea on paper. Or rather, scrawled on that bar napkin after the 7th round of drinks. So, uh, what happens now?" she asked with a slight wince.

......okay, guess that explains it.

Twilight rolled her eyes. "And even if you miraculously managed to take the city, we're allied with the griffins, the yaks, the reformed changeling hives, and the dragons! Between them and reinforcements from the Crystal Empire, there's no way you'd be able to hold the place. And that's even ignoring the fact that if you upset Fluttershy, you'd have freaking Discord to deal with! What's this even about anyway? I've never even heard of this Storm King of yours."

You know, the lack of Discord in this movie (outside of cameos at the end) is probably my biggest gripe about this movie, as well as a major source of plot-holes. I'm just going to assume that they SOMEHOW managed to petrify him before trying to take Canterlot. still... that argument really doesn't fly. I'm not saying the writing is bad, but when you rely on this many contrivances, the drama just fails miserably.

Also, if someone wants to make a HISHE video based on this fic. go for it.

Head canon accepted. This was great and far more realistic considering the mane 6's established abilities.

I was 100% expecting an after credit scene with Discord getting out of a bath or returning from some trip to find 200 messages on his answering machine. I was legitimately shocked that they didn't do so, because it's such a glaring plot hole so easily filled with such an obvious gag.

At least have a "Hey guys, what did I miss?" moment. They did it for Luna in A Canterlot Wedding, and she's nowhere near as much of a walking deus ex machina. It's even the same premise of Canterlot being invaded by a hostile army!

I personally prefer Social Justice Rangers or Rogues, but I don't wanna start any class warfare. :raritywink:

Absolutely everything the movie should have been. I liked the movie, it was entertaining. But it wasn't nearly as satisfying as reading this HISHE.

Login or register to comment