• Published 8th Oct 2017
  • 5,222 Views, 71 Comments

Cleavage Convenience - Justice3442

The Rainbooms and some of their friends talk about ‘boob pockets’, muse on the nature of interdimensional clothing, and take a vote regarding if a pair of pants should stay on or be taken off.

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You'll Have to Figure out the Word of the Day Yourself

With a shrill “WHA!” and a medley of drumsticks hammering cymbals and drum heads at random, the music room of Canterlot High quickly went from ‘mini-concert’ to ‘cacophonous collision of instruments playing randomly’. This brought a quick and unexpected end to the music number as playing stopped, a wisp of long pink-hair went by in a flash before disappearing behind teal drapes, and heads with demanding eyes turned to glare accusingly at Pinkie Pie. Pinkie immediately put on an apologetic expression framed by a sheepish smile.

“Okay, first off, ‘Ow’,” Sunset Shimmer said as she took a hand off the neck of her electric guitar and rubbed an ear clearly a little too close to Pinkie’s surprise drum attack.

“Pinkie!” Rainbow Dash cried, her own electric blue colored electric guitar dangling from a strap around her neck. “What’s the big idea?! I’ve already told you, ‘no more surprise drum solos!’”

Sunset continued to rub her ear. “Yeah. That way Applejack and I know to put some distance between you so we’re not hit with eardrum damage as you commit battery on your drum set.” Sunset turned. “Right, AJ?”

“What’s that!?” Applejack shouted back at Sunset. “Ah think Pinkie’s surprise drum solo damaged my eardrums!”

“Yes, I know!” Sunset shouted back. “I was just saying—”

“She needs to stop doing that!” Applejack added.

“We know!” Sunset replied. “I was just—”

“That way you and I can put in a little distance before she does her ear assaults!”

Sunset let out an annoyed sigh and simply nodded a vigorous ‘yes’.

Rarity cast a glance at a rather lumpy drape that seemed to be shaking with fear. “Fluttershy, dear? You can come out now!”

“… Is Pinkie done?” came the timid reply.

Rarity tittered lightly. “Do you think we could have this conversation if she wasn’t?”

“Oh…” Fluttershy slowly emerged from behind the music room’s drape join the rest of the band. “Good point.”

“Sorry!” Pinkie exclaimed. “I didn’t mean to break into ‘Animal mode’! My boobs just started vibrating!” Pinkie hugged her abdomen to accentuate her already rather voluminous chest and bounced up and down causing her ample assets to jiggle slightly.

The other girls present passed a confused look between them.

Sitting on a raised tier in front of the band, Twilight Sparkle raised a hand. “Uh… Is that a Pinkie sense thing?”

Sitting next to Twilight, Starlight Glimmer glanced at the bespectacled human version of her mentor, then looked back up at Pinkie expectantly.

Pinkie grinned at Twilight. “Sort of!” Pinkie pulled down her shirt collar slightly and reached into her cleavage. Her hand came back out holding a rectangular smartphone. “When my boobs start vibrating it means I have a text.”

A light tremor of giggling, chuckling, and the odd groan made its way through the room. Starlight Glimmer suddenly looked down at her respectable lady bubbles in interest.

“Take five, everyone!” Rainbow Dash growled out as she stomped off to sit on the top tier of the band room behind Twilight and Starlight. Rainbow Dash practically collapsed onto her rear and leaned forward, placing her chin on her fists as she glowered out into empty space.

Sunset cocked her head, looking over Rainbow Dash curiously as Pinkie began typing away at her phone and Fluttershy found a spot on the tiers a little bit across from Twilight and Starlight.

“Wait! Where’s everyone goin’?!” Applejack yelled as she looked around. “Ah still can’t hear well! Ah think we should take five!”

An unamused expression crept onto Sunset’s face. “Rarity? Could you…”

“I got her, dear,” Rarity replied as she walked up to Applejack, grasped her hand, and gently escorted her to a large, rectangular instrument case that the girls used as a seat.

Sunset walked over to a guitar stand and placed the instrument in it as Twilight let out a disappointed sigh. “I was really hoping it was a Pinkie sense thing! I really want to study that particular phenomenon.”

Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. “Any excuse to check out Pinkie’s balloon smuggling operation, huh?” she asked in a tone soaked in annoyance as she hugged her electric guitar to her chest.

Pinkie giggled to herself. “… ‘Balloon smuggling operation’… Good one.”

“Huh?!” Twilight replied in surprise, her cheeks turning crimson. “N-no! I just find her Pinkie sense fascinating!”

Pinkie shook her head. “Believe me. Researching that would probably be a ton less fun than you think…”

Her forehead tightening, Sunset walked over next to Starlight and sat down. She looked behind her to look at Rainbow Dash. “Rainbow, is there something you’d like to get off your chest?”

Rainbow Dash’s head suddenly snapped in the direction of Sunset as she fired off an angry glare. “You just had to go there, didn’t you?!” she said as she angrily lifted her electric guitar up over her head roughly placed it on the ground next to her.

Fluttershy let out a startled “Eep!” and scooted slightly farther away from Rainbow Dash

Sunset met Rainbow Dash’s anger with confusion. “Uh, go where?”

“My chest!” Rainbow Dash said as she motioned to her own, rather smooth, chest.

“Er… It’s just an expression, Rainbow,” Sunset said.

“Well, in that case, no!” Rainbow Dash shouted angrily. “There’s nothing I’d like to get off my chest! In fact, it’s more there’s something I want to get on my chest!”

Everyone went quiet for a moment as all eyes turned towards Rainbow Dash.

“Rainbow Dash?” Applejack said. “There’s no need to shout. We can hear you just fine.”

Rainbow Dash simply let out an annoyed sigh that Sunset joined her on.

Still typing away at her phone, Pinkie Pie turned and offered Rainbow Dash an apologetic look. “I’m sorry my fun bags are so much bigger than yours, Dashy! I’d share if I could…” She turned toward Sunset Shimmer and Twilight. “Are boob transplants a thing?”

Her cheeks still red, Twilight simply responded with an “Uh…”

“Why are you asking us?” Sunset replied.

“You two are sciency!” Pinkie replied.

“Well, that doesn’t mean we know anything about ‘boob transplants’ or breasts in general besides owning our own pairs!” Sunset fired back.

“Yeah,” Rainbow Dash chimed in. “Why’d you two care when you already have plenty of boob yourselves!”

Twilight gave Rainbow Dash a slightly scared and sorry look as she slumped forward and covered her chest with her arms.

Sunset raised an eyebrow. “Did you just tell us to ‘check our boob privilege’?”

“Maybe?” Rainbow Dash replied in an unsure tone. “I don’t know what that means!”

“Darling,” Rarity began, “trust me. You don’t need a big chest to be beautiful.” Rarity leaned forward to emphasize the slight curve of her own body.

“Right!” Applejack chimed in. “Girls like you and I sometimes have to make sacrifices for the greater good.” She lifted the bottom of her shirt showing off a well-chiseled abdomen under two rather small bumps in her clothing. “Ah mean, those fat lumps would just kinda be dead weight to athletic types like us.”

“Dead weight?!” Rarity cried in an incensed tone. “FAT?!”

“Hey!” Applejack protested. “Again, I specified for us 'athletic types’!”

Rarity rolled her eyes. “I’m plenty active, Applejack, and you must admit that ‘dead weight’ simply sounds ghastly in this context.”

“And kind of scary,” Fluttershy chimed in as she hugged her respectably-sized sweater puppies.

Rarity continued, “And to say ‘fat’ in regards to any part of a woman.” She shook her head. “Really, you should know better.”

Applejack sighed and turned towards Twilight and Sunset. “Are boobs mostly fat are not?”

Twilight answered, “Well, they are partially composed of fat tissue, however, there’s also lobules, ducts, capillaries—”

Applejack let out a hearty sigh. “Am’m just gonna apologize now. It seems quicker.”

Twilight frowned. “Did I… Did I say something wrong?”

Fluttershy grinned at Twilight. “Applejack just gets a little grumpy when others don’t agree with her.”

“Ah said Ah was sorry about the fat comment!”

Sunset scrunched her lips to one side of her face. “That still leaves the ‘dead’ comment and I don’t think anyone agrees with that either.”

“Yeah!” Pinkie exclaimed. She placed her hands under her bouncy castles and jiggled them a bit. “Besides! Do these look dead to you?!”

Applejack sighed. “Jus’ tryin’ to help Rainbow Dash feel better about her flat chest.”

Rainbow Dash frowned. “Uh, that’s not—”

Pinkie blew a dismissive gust of air. “That’s not how you make someone feel better for having small jubblies!”

“Guy’s! I never said—”

Applejack sighed. “Alright, little miss end-of-the-alphabet-cup, you try!”

“No, seriously! I don’t—”

“Gladly!” Pinkie exclaimed as her smile grew and she began depleting the air in front of her of oxygen.

“When you’re down in the dumps ‘cause your lack of lady humps~”

Twilight’s eyes widened. “She’s not—”

“just remember big or small you’re great even without big chest meat-balls~!”

Sunset shook her head. “She is. She most definitely is!”

Pinkie zipped up to Rainbow Dash and pressed her sizeable chest against the much flatter woman's.

“While some girls might have watermelons while you feel you’re packing lemons~,”

“HEY!” Rainbow Dash protested.

Pinkie suddenly grabbed rushed up to Applejack and pulled the country girl’s shirt forward.

“you don’t need sweater stretchers just to prove your own measure~!”

“Do you mind?!”AJ exclaimed.

Pinkie zipped down to motion at Sunset, Twilight’s, and Starlight’s chests.

“It's certainly true twin peaks will help get the attention that you seek~”

Twilight frowned. “I don’t—”

Pinkie immediately rushed up to Fluttershy and motioned towards the shy woman’s humpty dumplings.

“It also gets quite tiring constantly requiring~

to tell gawkers day and night that where they’re staring isn’t right~”

Fluttershy blushed. “I usually don’t say anything…”

Pinkie was suddenly next to Rarity, the fashionista’s chest now serving to help the next verse.

“While admiring a woman’s jiggly candy is all fine and dandy~

your time is often spent telling peeps to not stare at your pup tent~”

“It does get tedious,” Rarity admitted.

Pinkie rushed back up to Rainbow Dash as annoyance continually marched onto the girl's expression.

“So while most shirts make your chest disappear be glad you don’t have to chant ‘my eyes are up here’~

And keep in mind that big or small you can still find love even if your boobs are AWOL~

Because while bongo drums will mean some fun for one or two evenings~

What really counts is more than how you bounce or fill out a bikini~!

Just be sure to be yourself and pursue those you like with tenacity~

Elevated or flat, high or low what really matters is your personality~!”

Pinkie suddenly got onto one knee and threw her hands in the air.

“Plus some people still really like it when girls are flat chesteeeeeed~! YEAH!”

Thoroughly annoyed, Rainbow Dash threw her hands up in the air. “I’M NOT MAD THAT YOU HAVE BIGGER TITS THAN ME, PINKIE!”


“Isn’t that the whole point of this conversation?!” Sunset exclaimed.

“No!” Rainbow Dash insisted. “This isn’t about me being ‘hot or not’!”

A series of confused replies eked out from those present.

“Yeah!” Rainbow Dash grinned widely. “I know I look awesome!” Her smile dropped as her forehead creased once more. “I’m just mad I can’t carry around things in my chest cavity!”

The room once again went quiet.

Twilight raised a finger. “ A chest cavity is where your internal organs are, so—”

“I know that!” Rainbow Dash said. “I was talking about cleavage!”

“Ooh!” Pinkie exclaimed. “You mean you're jealous of my boob pocket!”

Rainbow Dash rubbed the back of her head. “Well yeah… Kind of.”

Sunset's brow crinkled for a moment. She spoke up. “Well, just because many of us can use that space to carry things around in, doesn’t mean we all do.”

“Oh yeah?” Rainbow paused and cast a leery look around the room. “Who here has never carried stuff around using their boobs?”

Applejack’s hand shot up.

Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. “Shocking!” she announced sarcastically.

“Sorry, Rainbow Dash,” Fluttershy said. “If it makes you feel better, I mostly use that spot for emergency flyers for fundraisers…”

“Huh…” Sunset uttered. “I was wondering why guys kept randomly asking you for fliers.”

“Oh my, yes!” Fluttershy said with a grin. “I mean, I almost hand out more of my emergency fliers than the ones I do when I’m standing in front of the school!”

Sunset chuckled to herself. “I wonder why…”

“Oh, I know!” Pinkie said excitedly. “It’s because those emergency fliers have touched Fluttershy’s happy pillows!”

“Pinkie, dear?” Rarity said. “It’s not polite to say such things.”

“What? ‘Happy pillows’?!” Pinkie protested. “I can keep saying boobs… Or… Ooo! Ooo! Mammaries, Milk duds, tits, teets, knockers, honkers, knickers, fun bags—”

Rarity cleared her throat. “I meant the part where boys were most interested in the fliers because of their proximity to Fluttershy’s bosom.”

Starlight looked up for a moment, then went back to looking down at her own chest. “Geez, you people have a lot of names for these things.”

“But it’s true!” Pinkie insisted.

Fluttershy let out a sad sigh.

“… Really?” Sunset replied as she tilted her head towards Fluttershy. “You had to have known that’s why the boys were doing it!”

“I know…” Fluttershy said. “It’s just fun to pretend they all really care about animals…”

Pinkie looked down at her chest again. “Well, they do make for a great emergency pocket. Especially for some extra cash!” Pinkie reached into her cleavage and pulled out a few wrinkled bills.

Rarity cringed. “Pinkie, that’s disgusting!”

Applejack raised an eyebrow. “Thought you were on team ‘boob pocket’.”

“For my phone or a wallet, maybe!” Rarity said. “But money is filthy and who knows where those bills have been!” Rarity shook her head. “Plus with it soaking up perspiration I doubt anyone would want to handle such sweaty bills.”

Sunset shrugged. “I think we established some might find it appealing.”

“At least you have the option to keep cash there!” Rainbow Dash cried as she pointed at Rarity.

Rarity frowned. “Well… a modest sum, perhaps…”

Applejack turned towards Rainbow Dash. “Okay, but even if ya had a bigger chest, it’d probably hurt with your running and other sports.”

Rainbow Dash sighed. “Okay… but that doesn’t mean these guys need to flaunt that they have these great… cleavage conveniences.

Pinkie let out a giggle. “She said it!”

“No one is flaunting anything!” Sunset insisted.

Rainbow scowled at Sunset. “Okay, but I bet almost all of you have something stuck down your bras right now!”

Sunset scowled back as she slapped the sides of her pants. “These don’t have any pockets, alright?!”

Most the other girls let out sounds of agreement.

“Y’all can get pockets,” Applejack pointed out, her tone suddenly becoming annoyed.

“But Applejack, sweetness,” Rarity began, “pockets can really throw off the look of an outfit.” She frowned. “Especially if putting something in them adds an unseemly bulge!”

“You see!” Rainbow Dash cried. “There’s just no winning here!”

You can also get pockets,” Applejack pointed out.

“But if I used pockets, I’d be less aerodynamic!” whined Rainbow Dash.

Applejack groaned and raised a hand to her forehead. “Ah don’t even know what we’re arguin’ ‘bout anymore…”

Starlight finally spoke up as she continued to look down at her own chest. “Having a small chest pocket does seem like a natural deficiency for you, Rainbow Dash…”

“Hey!” Rainbow Dash protested. “Don’t call me naturally deficient!” She frowned heavily at Starlight. “I barely even know you!”

Applejack raised an eyebrow. “What? So, if ya get to know Starlight more, it’ll be okay for her to insult you?”

“Sorry!” Starlight quickly blurted out as she looked up from her chest. “Was that rude?” she asked as she turned towards Sunset.

Sunset gave Starlight a little smile. “A little bit, yeah…”

“I wasn’t trying to be mean!” Starlight insisted. “It’s just…” She looked back down at her chest and inserted a finger into her chest crevice. “I’ve never had a built-in pocket before!” Starlight gasped. “I bet I could stick a cone of ice cream here and still have my hands free!”


Starlight glanced up at Pinkie with a huge grin then went back down to looking at her chest, her mind clearly racing with possibilities.

“That sounds crazy messy!” Sunset countered.

“It’s okay! I’ll just take a shower afterward!” Starlight insisted.

“You’d have to wash your clothes too, dear,” Rarity chimed in.

Starlight placed her chest under even more scrutiny. “Wait…” she began patting herself. “You mean this isn’t all me?!” Starlight began picking at her vest and shirt. “How much of this comes off?!”

“Okay… Just… What?” Sunset replied. “You have to know what clothes are! Did you really think humans naturally grew loose coverings complete with seams, sleeves, and collars?!”

Twilight glanced up, looked over at Starlight, then looked Sunset up and down.

“I… well, you and I weren’t wearing any clothes when we went through the portal!” Starlight said. “So, yeah! Kind of!” she added as she stood up and began clumsily taking off her vest. Getting the garb off, Starlight let it fall to the ground and began groping around her shirt, specifically her chest area. “Are these… straps?!”

“That’s probably your bra, dear,” Rarity answered.

Starlight felt around a bit more. “Another piece of clothing?” she asked dejectedly.

“Uh, yeah,” Sunset answered. “Human mammary glands are higher up on their bodies than ponies… Er…” Sunset tossed an unsure glance up at Rainbow Dash. “Lots of girls feel the need to wear something that keeps them in place during the day.”

“Why did you look at me?!” Rainbow Dash asked.

“I didn’t want to offend you!” Sunset said.

“I already told you, it’s not the fact that your boobs are bigger that bug me!” Rainbow Dash insisted. “It’s the fact that them being bigger grants you a big extra pocket!”

“Well, a fake pocket!” Starlight said in an irritated tone.

“… Say what, now?” Applejack chimed in, clearly confused.

“Yeah,” Sunset agreed. “How can a pocket be fake?”

Sunset’s comment was met with a series of jeers from many of the women present.

“ER, right… Let me rephrase,” Sunset said, “assuming a pocket is actually functional, even if it’s made of bra and the space between boobs, how can it be ‘fake’?”

“I thought humans were marsupials!” Starlight groaned out.

There was a short beat of silence followed by laughter as most the girls couldn’t help but express a bit of mirth following Starlight’s epiphany.

Twilight continued to look Starlight and Sunset up and down with interest. “Are you saying the portal dresses you when you go out?!”

“Uh… Yeah?” Sunset answered. “I guess?”

“That’s… that has some fascinating implications!” Twilight exclaimed. “I mean… If you went into Equestria naked, would you be hairless on the other side?! Or, assuming you showed up in your normal pony form, could you step back through and just create your own clothes.” Twilight gasped. “The portal between here and Equestria could serve to create an endless supply of nearly effort-free created clothes for the world!”

Rarity looked around nervously. “I have some qualms about this line of thinking…”

Fluttershy finally spoke up. “So, you thought Sunset and Starlight walked around wearing clothes back in Equestria?”

“Erm…” Twilight frowned slightly. “I guess? I don’t know why I would assume they’d be naked on the other side.”

“Well, horses are naked here!” Fluttershy pointed out.

“Okay, but why would that fact about horses here translate to fact in Sunset’s dimension full of talking and magical horses?” Twilight asked.

“… Huh…” Fluttershy uttered. “I guess it is strange when you put it like that.”


Everyone turned towards Starlight as she fiddled with the zipper and button on her jeans.

“Starlight,” Sunset said, “please stop undressing in front of everyone.”

“Why? Is that rude, too?” Starlight asked as she stood with a zipper pinched between a thumb and forefinger.

“Uh… In a way?” Sunset replied.

“Do I need to put my vest back on?” Starlight asked.

Sunset shrugged. “Only if you want to.”

“You just said it was a form of rudeness to undress!” Starlight gripped.

“Well… it depends on what you’re taking off, really…”

Starlight let out a heavy sigh and flung her back against the next tier in the floor behind her. “Humans have too many rules around clothing!” she declared.

Sunset chuckled. “Well… I don’t disagree there…”

Twilight leaned forward and stared down at Starlight’s unzipped jeans, or more specifically, what was now exposed on account of the jeans being unzipped.

“Twilight, are you checking out Starlight’s panties?” Rainbow Dash inquired.

“Yes,” Twilight replied casually.

“Uh… I shouldn’t have to say this,” Sunset said, “but that’s also considered rude.”

“But it’s for science!” Twilight whined as she reached up to her bow tie and undid it, followed by the top buttons of the shirt she was wearing under her magenta vest light shirt. “Plus she kind of has them on display, right now!”

“What color are they?” Rainbow Dash asked as she craned her head one way than the other as if trying to get a better look at Starlight’s now slightly exposed underwear.

“They’re a bright teal,” Twilight replied as she pulled a pen and notepad out from under her shirt. “The same color as Starlight’s shirt.”

“Also rude!” Sunset exclaimed.

Starlight perked up. “Asking about the garment’s color, answering that question, or the fact I have them on display?”

“All of it!” Sunset exclaimed.

Starlight frowned heavily at Sunset as Twilight continued to look down at Starlight’s lap and feverishly take notes.

“Is there like… a clothes rulebook I can look over or something?” Starlight asked.

She let out a heavy sigh. “Rarity? Could you help me out here?”

“… With what, pray tell?”

“Being the fashion police!” Sunset said. “It feels kind of hypocritical for me to do it when I only actually care because humans care about this stuff!”

Rarity put on an incensed look. “Just because I love fashion doesn’t mean I’m the one in charge of telling girls when they can’t show off their undergarments! Besides, Starlight is from your world! I would think explaining behavior to her still falls on your shoulders!”

“But this clothing stuff is so awkward!” Sunset whined.

“Well, Starlight is lucky to have someone with experience in this area,” Rarity replied.

Sunset simply replied with an exasperated sigh.

Fluttershy spoke up, “It must have been very hard figuring out clothes on your own, Sunset. I mean, with you not having to wear them back in Equestria.”

“It was!” Sunset whined. “I mean, it’s not like there’s no clothes in Equestria, but not very many ponies wear clothes every day.” Sunset looked down at her attire. “Plus, Twilight has something of a point… It’s kind of jarring showing up on the other side of the portal suddenly wearing stuff.”

Twilight pointed down at something on Starlight’s lap with the eraser end of her pencil. “Starlight? Does this star and double toothpaste symbol have any meaning?”

“What?” Starlight exclaimed as she looked down. “Oh, that’s my cutie mark!”

Sunset chuckled. “Maybe your specialty is in teeth brushing and not magic,” she joked.

“They’re like… magic swirls!” Starlight insisted. She sighed. “The magic cutie marks are just kind of strange like that.”

“Oh right… those are like the Equestrian equivalent to the personal symbols humans naturally gravitate towards, right?” Twilight asked.

“Uh…” Starlight turned and looked at Sunset.

Sunset smiled. “Yes, Twilight. Except our symbols show up on our flanks at some point,” she informed. “Like… tattoos.”

Twilight nodded, “Okay, but do you also have your cutie mark on your panties?”


“Rude…?” Starlight asked.

Sunset shrugged. “It’s a fair question for the sake of science,” she replied, then turned to Twilight. “My mark is not on the pair I’m wearing right now.”

“Okay, but was it on the pair you were wearing when you first arrived on Earth?!”

“Yes,” Sunset answered simply.

Twilight continued to feverishly take notes, flipping her notepad to a fresh page as she did. “Okay… Have you experimented going through the portal with a different pair of panties?”

“I… uh…” Sunset rubbed the back of her head. “Probably?”

Twilight frowned. “Probably?”

Sunset shrugged. “Sorry, Twilight. I never really thought to check my cutie mark or keep track of what underwear I had on when I went across to Equestria! I mean… I usually have something of an agenda outside what happens to my clothes when I travel between worlds.” She thought for a moment. “Although… somehow my backpack always turns into saddlebags carrying whatever was inside when I go across the portal.”

Twilight’s eyes lit up. “I really think this warrants further study.”

“I can’t say I agree,” Rarity chimed in.

Twilight turned towards Rarity. “Sorry, Rarity… But I mean… There’s just so much to consider! Consider… do gloves turn into socks over in Equestria? Do the number of articles matter? Are there certain materials that do go through the portal?”

Stars seemed to shine in Rarity’s azure eyes. “On the other hand. Perhaps I can be of assistance,” she tittered. “I mean… for science, of course…”

Applejack smirked at Rarity. “You just like the idea of makin’ everyone dress up in different outfits, don’tcha…”

Rarity sighed. “Am I that transparent?”

“Like the windshield to Big Mac’s truck after it’s been washed.”

“I think we overlooked something important, here,” Rainbow Dash said.

“I agree!” Shouted Pinkie. “I think I can help with your boob pocket problem!”

“Huh?” Rainbow Dash said. “No… I was—”

“Hey, Dashy! Can I rummage through your things?” Pinkie asked as she got up and bounced over to a blue duffle bag in the corner of the room.


“It’s a surprise!” Pinkie exclaimed.

“… Uh… Okay, fine,” Rainbow Dash said with a shrug. “Anyway, I was just going to say it was a good thing Starlight figured out she was wearing clothes before going to the bathroom!”

Once again, the room went momentarily silent before ripples of laughter made their way through the group. The notable exception being Sunset, who suddenly went stiff as aboard as her cheeks flushed slightly pink.

“…Uh, are you alright, Sunset?” Fluttershy asked as the laughter began to die down.

“… I don’t want to talk about it,” Sunset grumbled sullenly.

Rainbow Dash grinned. “So… did you wet ‘em the first time you came to earth?”

“I just said I didn’t want to talk about it!” Sunset cried as her cheeks went from pink to red.

Rainbow Dash gave Sunset a wry smile. “That’s a ‘yes’.”

“We don’t have panties in Equestria, okay?!” Sunset exclaimed.

“Okay, ready!” Pinkie exclaimed as she bounded over to Rainbow Dash.

“Uh, ready for what?” The prismatic athlete asked.

“The surprise!” Pinkie said with a grin as she leaned in front of Rainbow, giving her a pretty good view of the pink party girl’s cleavage.

Rainbow Dash reacted to this with annoyance. “Yes, Pinkie. I’m quite aware your boobs are wildly bigger than mine!”

“No, silly!” Pinkie said. “You’re supposed to reach inside!”

Rainbow Dash reached up a hand and thrust it in between Pinkie’s breasts.

“Wow… She didn’t even hesitate,” Sunset said. She leaned over towards Starlight. “Also, that counts as a ‘rude’.”

“Huh?” Starlight replied in confusion. “But Pinkie clearly gave Rainbow Dash permission!”

Sunset nodded. “Right, but… I guess they should do that somewhere more private…”

“Oh, so we’re supposed to be offended?”

“… Yes?” Sunset replied. “I mean, I guess?”

“Er…” Fluttershy looked away from Rainbow Dash digging around Pinkie’s bra to address Sunset, “We’re all girls, so it’s sorta okay…”

“Oh…” Starlight said. “So, the rules are gender-specific?”

“Uh, mostly,” Sunset stammered. “Er… I guess there’s a sort of nudity taboo, you can say? And the conditions for when it’s okay to be naked or not depend on a number of factors.”

Starlight glanced up at Pinkie and Rainbow Dash. “But there’s no nudity involved in what those two are doing.”

Sunset threw her hands up in the air. “That’s it! I’m out! If you girls care about this so much, you can explain it to Starlight.”

“Well, I don’t care,” Rainbow Dash said, her hand still rummaging around Pinkie’s chest area as the pink-haired woman giggled and laughed.

“Well, of course you don’t!” Sunset said. “… Would you stop feeling up Pinkie?!”

“She said it was okay!” Rainbow Dash fired back. “And I mean…You girls should REALLY feel these! They’re HUGE and crazy soft!”

“Raaaaainbow….” Sunset growled out.

“I thought you didn’t care about these stupid rules!”

Sunset glared at Rainbow Dash. “That was in regards to the rules about clothing and undressing! You’re clearly just taking advantage of Pinkie’s generous offer there!”

Fluttershy giggled to herself. “Very generous…” she added.

Amidst the laughter that once again poured into the room, Rainbow Dash gave Sunset a look not too dissimilar to a child who had just gotten caught with the hand in the cookie jar. “Okay… Well, it would help if I know what I was feeling around for.”

Pinkie giggled. “Just pick something and pull it out!”

Sunset frowned. “I don’t think I like the sound of that…”

Rainbow Dash finally retrieved a hand, a black sports bra held in it. “Wait… this is… one of mine?”

“Yeppers!” Pinkie said nodding her head up and down.

“… That could have been worse,” Sunset admitted. “Though it also could have been better.”

“Pinkie, why’d you stuff my bra down your bra?!”

“This way I’m sharing the ample gift of my boob pocket so you don’t have to feel so bad!” Pinkie explained. She grinned. “See! I figured out a way I could share the handiness of my hooters!”

“Uh… Thanks?” Rainbow Dash said.

Pinkie giggled and nodded.

“Boobies, tits, funbags galore

You’ll never know what I have in store

For between my soft pillows

I’ve stored items that make them billow!

Phones, money, my best friend’s bra!”

Rainbow Dash let out a groan and buried her face in her hands.

“There’s no limit to what goes in or what I can withdraw!”

“PINKIE!” Sunset exclaimed. She took a deep breath and gave Pinkie a small smile. “I don’t think Rainbow needs yet another song on this topic.”

“Well, this was more a of a limerick!” Pinkie insisted.

“I don’t need one of those, either!” Rainbow Dash insisted. Her forehead wrinkled as she stared down at Pinkie’s bazongas. “Really though… You had room for one of my bras down there?”

Pinkie nodded. “Yep! Even with my phone and wallet in here, there’s still room for one of your sports bras, the pads for the sports bra, some tissues—”

“Pinkie!” Rainbow Dash chastised.

“—Whoops! Were the tissues TMI?”

Rainbow Dash glanced at the other girls present, noting she was now on the receiving end of several smug looks.

“So you don’t care about size, huh?” Sunset said.

“It’s for sweat!” Insisted Rainbow Dash. “I get boob-sweat too you know! Probably more than anyone else here.”

Sunset’s grin widened. “I think in your case it would just be called ‘sweat’, Rainbow.”

Rainbow grit her teeth. “Okay, now you need to check your bigger boob privileges or whatever!”

“Er,” Fluttershy’s timid voice once again joined the conversation, “Maybe you can start a tweet campaign over it, Rainbow Dash. You know, hashtag Mammarchy?”

After a brief pause as those present took in the source, laughter once again poured out from the women in the room as Fluttershy put on a small, proud smile.

Once the laughter began to die down, Pinkie frowned, turning towards Rainbow Dash. “What about me? Am I part of the hashtag Mammarchy?!”

“Er… I guess you’re trying to help?” Rainbow Dash said. “So it’s alright… But…” The athlete paused as she pulled her lips to one side of her face. “Even if you’re going to help carry stuff for me with your boobs, I mean… It’s not like you can just follow me around wherever I go.”

Pinkie thought about this for a moment and gasped. “What if we all helped out! Each of us can have like… An emergency Rainbow Dash kit stuck between our jugs!”

“Now wait just a gosh darn minute!” Applejack exclaimed.

“Oops!” Pinkie exclaimed. “And an emergency Applejack jug kit!”

Applejack sighed. “That’s not what I was gonna say!”

“Pinkie, dear?” Rarity said. “I don’t think anyone else here has quite the chest to pull off what you’re suggesting…”

“Er… I’m willing to try,” Starlight said.

Sunset glanced at Starlight’s chest, it was roughly the same size as her own, though still notably smaller than Pinkie’s. “I don’t think you’re going to have a lot of luck there, Starlight.”

Starlight shrugged. “I still think it’s worth trying, you know…” Starlight glanced at Twilight. “For science?”

Twilight chuckled. “Is it rude if I’d rather keep my cleavage for my own personal use?”

“Well, I don’t think it’s fair to the likes of Dashie and AJ!” Pinkie exclaimed.

“… Please leave me out of this,” Applejack mumbled out.

“Er…” Twilight rubbed the back of her head. “I suppose I could always try to make more efficient use of my space…” she looked down. “But… with my phone and note-taking stuff, it’s pretty cramped.”

Sunset let out a heavy sigh. “Twilight, it’s your body and your cleavage, do with it what you will.” She shook her head. “I can’t believe we’re trying to apply the principles of socialism to our breasts.”

“Well, what’s wrong with that?!” Starlight exclaimed.

Sunset sighed and pinched her nose. “Of course you’d say that!”

“You didn’t answer the girl's question, Sunset!” a feminine voice called out from outside. The door to the band room suddenly flew open, revealing Adagio Dazzle, Aria Blaze, and Sonata Dusk who all filed into the band room. Adagio stood with her chin held high as she placed her hands on her hips and gave Sunset a typical ‘plotting delicious evil’ Adagio Dazzle smile.

“Oh! Hi, Sonata!” Pinkie greeted.

“Hi, Pinkie!” Sonata replied cheerfully.

“Hi, Aria!” Pinkie chirped.

“Uh… Hey,” Aria said.

“Hi, Sunset Shimmer!” Sonata greeted.

“Uh… Hi, Sonata…” Sunset replied.

“Hi, Adagio!” Pinkie waved.

Adagio’s eyes seemed to roll almost involuntarily. “Yes. Hi.”

“Hi, Not-Twilight-Twilight!”

“Hey!” Starlight protested.

Twilight sighed. “I think she was talking to me.”

“Oh…” Starlight said. “I, uh, guess that’s better?”

“Hi, Sunset’s pony friend whom I don’t know!” Sonata greeted.

“Uh, Hi?” Starlight replied.

Adagio raised a hand up to her face. “Everyone please just say ‘hi’ to Sonata!”

A series of greetings rang out, including a giggling. “Hi to Sonata!” from Pinkie.

“As I was saying,” Adagio grinned at Sunset, “you should answer your friend’s question.”

Sunset let out a heavy sigh. “I really don’t feel like starting some sort of sociological debate on the topic of using cleavage as pockets.”

Adagio smirked. “Well, I do…”

“Uh, Sunset?” Starlight said. “Who are these…” Starlight trailed off for a moment and stared at the chests at the new arrivals “… girls? And uh…” She raised an uncertain finger and pointed at Aria.

Also a girl!” Aria exclaimed angrily as she patted her chest. “I mean, I’m not Rainbow Dash small!”

“HEY!” Rainbow Dash protested.

“Sorry!” Starlight said. “I’m sure that was rude. I’m just… Not super-good at figuring out human genders yet…”

“Ugh…” Sunset shook her head. “Starlight, it would be best if you ignore these three.”

“Hey!” Aria snapped. “You can’t tell her what to do! She’s an adult! She doesn’t need to be a part of your system!”

Sunset groaned. “Starlight also doesn’t need any more negative influences in her life!”

Starlight smirked at Sunset. “What? Like girls who’ve tried to take over a world or two?”

Twilight chuckled nervously.

Sunset folded her arms across her chest. “Honestly, I think you’ve hit a reasonable quota there already!”

Starlight looked at the trio of girls in surprise. “Wait… Them too?!”

Sunset nodded. “Except I don’t think they feel bad about it!”

“Hah!” Aria exclaimed. “You really expect me to feel bad about me being involved in the collapse of society?!”

“No,” Sunset answered patiently. “In fact, that was my point!”

“Oh…” Aria replied. “Yeah…”

Sonata giggled. “Haha! Nope! Don’t care! It was fun!” Sonata frowned. “Except for the end where we failed and lost our powers, that sucked.”

Pinkie gasped. “Sonata! What would the Muppets say?!”

Sonata thought about this for a moment. “Well… Okay… I could have been nicer at times, I guess… but I don’t think there’s a Sesame Street that really talks about taking over the world… Plus, as an educational tool that doubles as a merchandising engine, the Muppets speaking out against world domination might seem slightly hypocritical if viewed in a meta context!”

Again, the room fell silent. This time all eyes falling on Sonata.

“Uh… I mean… Hehehe… Mayhem and tacos!” Sonata said with a sweet, if slightly askew, smile.

Sunset focused her attention on Adagio. “And you…?”

“I’d love to be introduced to this friend I’ve heard so much about, Sunset!”

Sunset raised an eyebrow. “Wait, how have you heard about her?”

Pinkie pulled her cell phone back out of her cleavage. “Oh! I texted Sonata all about it!”

Sonata giggled and reached into her own sizeable ‘chest storage’ and pulled out her phone. “Yep!”

“Satisfied?!” Adagio exclaimed. “Certainly there’s nothing wrong with two friends texting each other and one of those friends relaying simple information.”

Sunset gave Adagio a scrutinizing look. “Okay… but…” Her eyes narrowed. “Pinkie stopped texting a while ago! How the heck did you know about the talk of socialist cleavage convenience?”

“Hah! Now she said it!” Pinkie exclaimed mirthfully.

Adagio shrugged. “Just good timing, I suppose.”

Sonata nodded. “Plus, we waited outside with our ears pressed against the door for a while because Adagio wanted to pick the perfect time to show up and annoy you.”

Adagio turned and attempted to melt Sonata with nothing but a very angry stare.

Aria just sighed and raised fingers to her forehead. “Sonata, you are just dumb as hell…”

“Hey,” Sonata protested, “the Muppets may not have much to say about world domination, but that have plenty to say about lying!”

“Yay! Go, Sonata!” Pinkie cheered.

“Okay,” Adagio rubbed the back of her head, ruffling her curls somewhat as she turned back towards Sunset, “I’ll admit that perhaps my motives towards you, Sunset weren’t entirely virtuous.”

“HAH!” Sunset exclaimed. “Since when have you done anything that’s entirely virtuous?!”

“Hmmm… Fair,” Adagio mused. “However, wouldn’t be unfriendly to not so much as introduce me to your friend here?”

Starlight and Twilight’s eyes were suddenly on Sunset like that of a pair of women who looked up to another friend as a sort of ‘friendship mentor’ and positive influence, potentially putting such hypothetical person under a lot of pressure in a scenario where she was called to task on making a friendly social decision.

Sunset sighed and motioned towards Adagio. “Starlight Glimmer, meet Adagio Dazzle.”

Adagio offered her hand to Starlight. Smiling, Starlight stood up and shook it. Adagio glanced down. “Okay, that is just not fair!” she declared as retrieved her hand.

“Huh?” Starlight said as she looked down. “What?” she frowned. “Is it because my boob pocket is bigger?”

Aria and Sonata let out chuckles.

“Uh, I think she means that your jeans are still undone,” Sunset pointed out.

Adagio nodded. “Right! My breasts are fine, thank-you-very-much, but you should commit to your pants being off or on! This half-way look is just a tease!”

“Oh!” Starlight replied. “Uh… I don’t know if I have a preference yet… Maybe we should put it to a vote?”

Sunset smacked a palm against her head so hard she was suddenly seeing magical themed cutie marks.

Adagio grinned. “I vote you take the pants off!”

“Uh, yeah… Off!” Rainbow shouted out.

“Ugh… On!” Applejack exclaimed.

Rarity spoke up. “Do we get to vote on if the pants are replaced with anything?”

“Huh…” Starlight said. “I haven’t thought about that…”

Adagio grinned. “Would we have your vote if we promise to vote on that next?”

“… Yes,” Rarity said.

“What! STOP!” Sunset exclaimed. “See, this is exactly the sort of negative behavior I was afraid of!”

“… Not me relapsing into my villainous ways?” Starlight asked.

“Okay, so there’s a few reasons,” Sunset quietly admitted.

“And why are we the bad guys, exactly?!” Adagio demanded.

“…Aside from the not feeling bad about taking over the world, you mean?!” Sunset quipped.

Adagio leveled an accusing finger at Sunset. “You’re the one playing pants princess here!”

“Yeah!” Aria chimed in. “Who made you the dictator of who can keep their pants on or off?!”

Sunset groaned and took a deep breath. “Okay… You know what? Starlight can put taking off her pants up to a vote if she wants! I, personally, think there are quite a few holes in that plan—”

“… Even more than the holes in Starlight’s jeans?” Fluttershy suggested.

A few giggles made their way through the room.

Pinkie smiled widely at Fluttershy. “You’re just on fire today, Fluttershy!”

“Thanks,” Fluttershy said with a smile, “I’m er… trying to speak up a little more.”

Sunset sent a small smirk in Fluttershy’s direction. “Yeah. Nice to hear your voice a little more often…” She refocused her attention on Starlight. “Look, opening voting up to everyone does sort of require a leap of faith regarding how informed all parties are, for one.”

Starlight chuckled. “Sunset, it’s regarding wearing pants. I’ve spent the vast majority of my life not wearing pants. I think the voters are quite well-informed!”

“So, you’re the ill-informed one?” Sunset countered.

“Uh… point,” Starlight said, “but I’m willing to trust my, er, constituents in this case.”

Sunset sighed. “Alright, just as long as you remember that the right to wear pants or not is yours despite the vote!”

Sonata nodded. “Oh! So a democratic vote but one still ultimately left up to the right of the affected individual on account that said topic involves her personal body and therefore a vote via this process would infringe upon her liberties in the absence of her consent!”

Once again, silence reigned as everybody stared at Sonata.

Sonata let out a heavy sigh. “… Yay cartoons! Murder… Whatever…” she said unenthusiastically.

“Uh… Well, I already consented to the vote,” Starlight pointed out. “So yeah…” She smiled and looked at everyone. “Let’s continue, ‘Off’ or ‘On’!”

“I vote ‘off’!” Twilight said.

“What?!” Sunset exclaimed. “Twilight, how could you?!”

“Er…” Twilight’s face flushed crimson once more. “For scientific reasons…”

“Hey!” Starlight exclaimed. “No trying to influence the vote that way!”

“What?!” Sunset motioned towards Adagio. “Oh, come on! Adagio totally influenced Rarity’s vote!”

Adagio grinned wryly at Sunset. “I like to think of that more as ‘campaigning’.” Her smile dropped. “What you tried to do was straight up voter intimidation!”

Sunset sighed heavily. “Okay, but who’s to say Starlight WILL accept wearing something else by vote?! I mean, you were the one who suggested it.”

“Uh, Sunset has a point,” Starlight said, “I suppose I can agree to second vote regarding me replacing the pants…”

Sunset smirked. “What if something gets voted you don’t approve of or something embarrassing?” Sunset glanced at Rarity. “What if polka-dotted pants end up winning?”

Rarity swallowed. “Can I reconsider my vote?”

“What?!” Adagio snapped. “No! All votes are final!”

Sunset pointed at Adagio. “Starlight, your campaign manager is making an awful lot of decisions for you!”

“Uh, Adagio?” Starlight tentatively put forward, “Maybe you can let me make my own decisions here.”

“But I’m trying to help!” Adagio insisted.

Starlight smiled and nodded. “Okay, but even deciding if I’m going to give myself to the will of the masses here, I think Sunset has a point that it should be my decision.” Starlight looked down. “I mean… At least I guess that’s how pants permission works…”

Sunset nodded approvingly.

Adagio let out a heavy sigh. “Fine…” she growled out through clenched teeth.

Starlight nodded and looked down. “Anyways, we’re just talking about my pants!” She shook her head. “Even if it’s something silly, I guess I’ll be fine knowing that the majority is happy.”

“I won’t be!” Rarity countered.

“It’s a vote, sugarcube!” Applejack pointed out. “You don’t always end up with the decision that’ll make ya happy!”

Sunset rubbed her chin a bit. “Starlight? Would it be okay if raised a few more concerns?”

“Sure, Sunset, go ahead!” Starlight said cheerfully.

Aria let out a heavy sigh. “And here comes Captain Buzzkill to ruin everyone’s day.”

“Aria?” Sonata cut in, “I’m kind of enjoying this microcosm of democracy in action including the more poignant points made by Sunset either by her specific examples or the more nuanced allusions regarding rights and the nature of voting. Could you stop ‘railing against the man’ for, like… a few minutes here?”

Once again, all eyes were on Sonata.

“You know what?!” Sonata shouted out. “Yeah! Maybe I find the concepts of social-political constructs fascinating! Bite me!”

Sunset raised her hands defensively. “Oh, alright… Sonata… No one was judging you…”

“You were all totes judging me!” Sonata exclaimed. “Hey, sorry-not-sorry if I don’t feel like being everyone’s goofy little sociopath all the time!

“Yeah!” Aria cheered on. “Take her to town, Sonata!”

“Shut up, Aria,” Sonata said rolling her eyes. “You’re, like, public enemy number one in this case!”

Aria glared at Sonata a moment, glanced upwards as she seemed to think about what Sonata said, then looked back at Sonata. “You know what? I’mma gonna let you have that one, but mostly only because you called me ‘public enemy number one’.”

Sonata smiled. “Works for me!”

“Uh…” Starlight looked around. “Should we get back to the vote?” She turned to Sunset and opened her mouth to speak, but soon found herself preemptively interrupted.

“Erm… Can I abstain?” Pinkie asked. “I don’t really have a horse in this race… oh… Er… pony, I guess... Hehehe…”’

“What?!” Adagio exclaimed. “No! Not voting is the absolute worst thing you can do! It’s like saying you don’t care!”

“… But I don’t care!” Pinkie pointed out.

“Hey! No!” Aria said forcefully. “Vote or die!”

Adagio’s forehead tightened slightly and she turned towards Aria. “Since when do you care about voting?”

“I don’t!” Aria said. “Whenever I have to vote, I just pick randomly!”

Sonata chuckled. “I vote for whoever I think is the most handsome!”

Again, all eyes turned towards Sonata.

Sonata grit her teeth. “Oh, what the heckies is it this time?!”

Sunset shook her head. “You know what? We’re not even going to go there.”

“Er…” Fluttershy looked on from her somewhat lonely spot in the room. “I want to vote, but uh… I don’t want everyone else to know what I voted for…”

“Oh, shoot!” Starlight exclaimed. “I guess I went a little fast there and didn’t think how making this public could skew results. Maybe we should start all over, but just write our votes down?” Starlight looked around. “Does anyone have, like a shoebox with them?”

“Sure!” Pinkie said. “I always keep a shoe-box in my ‘just in case’ spot!”

Everyone’s eyes opened widely as they turned to stare at Pinkie, though their eyelids dropped as Pinkie pulled a box out of her hair.

Sunset raised an eyebrow. “Pinkie, why don’t you just keep your phone in your hair?!”

“Well, that’s where I keep extra cookies and cupcakes I find!” She raised her palms into a shrug. “What? Do you expect to keep that stuff in my bra?! That’d be gross!

“Couldn’t you put stuff in the box you apparently keep in your hair?!” Sunset exclaimed.

Pinkie frowned. “But then I’d have to find room for all the stuff I keep in my box if we need to use the box for voting purposes!”

Sunset raised a finger and opened her mouth as if she was going to reply, then closed her mouth as her finger seemed to deflate.

Rarity raised her hand. “Can I start a third party? I was thinking Starlight would look good in fishnets!”

“Hey, yeah!” Rainbow Dash chimed in. “I can go for that!”

Applejack thought for a moment. “I suppose if done right it would at least be better than ‘no pants’… but I really like the jeans look.”

“What!” Adagio cried. “No! Stop! It’s a two-party system!” she insisted.

“… It is?” Starlight asked. “I mean… it’s my pants, so…”

Adagio sighed. “Okay, but if you let a third party gain any momentum, how will you guarantee a majority vote?!”


Sunset chuckled. “You know what? I don’t even think I need make one of my points anymore.”

Starlight looked at Sunset. “You had more than one?”

Sunset nodded. “I was going to make something up about people voting that you wear pants made out of kites…”

Starlight’s face lit up. “You mean pants that double as kites?”

Sunset shook her head. “No… Pants made out of broken kites that were forced into the rough shape of pants.”

“… Okay! Experiment over!” Starlight declared. “Sorry everyone, but the pants stay on!”

A series of disappointed groans went through the group.

“Yeah, yeah… I know…” Starlight said as she reached down for her zipper. “But it’s my decision and…” Starlight paused and pursed her lips in annoyance. “…and I feel the risks in changing my clothes currently outweigh the potential beni—” Starlight let out a frustrated grunt –“potential benifi—GRRRRR!”

“Problem?” Sunset asked.

Starlight gave Sunset an embarrassed look. “I’m really having trouble with this zipper. I’m not that used to fingers yet.”

“I’ll get it,” Adagio purred.

“No!” Sunset exclaimed as she immediately bent down, grabbed Starlight’s zipper, and zipped up her jeans followed by re-buttoning them.

“… Killjoy…” Adagio uttered.

Sunset stood facing Starlight, pointing behind herself with a thumb at Adagio. “Adagio’s rather enthusiastic and possibly creepy reaction to touching your zipper there? That’s why there’s something of a nudity taboo.”

“Oooooh!” Starlight exclaimed as realization dawned on her. “So like… There’s a sexual aspect?”

Sunset nodded. “More or less…” She narrowed her eyes. “And when Adagio is around, there’s always a sexual aspect.

“Okay, gotcha.”

Adagio let out a dissatisfied grunt. “I’m flattered, Sunset, truly, but can we get back to the topic of communal cleavage for the underprivileged?”

Sunset sighed heavily. “Could we not?”

“I’m for it!” Adagio said with a smile. “And Pinkie is for it!” Adagio’s grin once again grew until it was nearly at critical levels at smug. “And isn’t it ‘our bodies, our decision’?!”

Sunset sighed. “Okay, I guess I can’t stop anyone from doing what they want with their cleavage.”

“Yeah,” Aria chimed in, “but you can certainly point out the whole thing is stupid!”

Sunset tilted her head towards Aria and gave her a small smile. “So, you agree with me?”

Aria threw her hands up in the air. “I don’t get the point of keeping things in your boobs at all! Like… Just get pants with pockets!”

Sunset frowned heavily. “So, you don’t agree with me…”

“She agrees with me!” Applejack said triumphantly.

Rarity’s forehead creased. “But we’ve been over this! Girl’s clothing often doesn’t have pockets!”


Sunset raised an eyebrow. “Couldn’t you just buy pants?”

“Sure, if you like getting pants on easy mode!” Aria exclaimed. She looked down at the pants she was wearing. “Not that it’s all that hard for me to beat-up guys that wear my size of jeans anyway…”

Twilight stood up. “I feel I’d be remiss if I didn’t point something out…”

Aria rolled her eyes. “Yeah. Sorry, nerd. You’re probably going to have to do a few push-ups or exercise a little if you want to get pants the right way.”

Sunset glared at Aria.

“No, er… not that…” Twilight said. She motioned towards Aria somewhat smooth chest. “Just that you’re not that much bigger than Rainbow Dash, so maybe there’s some personal bias going on here.”

Aria rolled her eyes. “Big boobs would just get in the way of kicking ass!” Aria declared. “They’re a waste of space if ya ask me.”

“Yeeehaaaaw!” Applejack shouted as she swung a fist in front of her. “You tell ‘em!”

Rarity’s face only tightened. “Now, see here! Breasts can represent a certain aesthetic appeal, even if they somewhat of a hindrance during strenuous events!”

“Hold up a second!” Sunset said as she raised her hand. “Where’s Rainbow Dash?” She looked around the room some more. “And Pinkie, and Sonata, and—” she let out a loud groan and raised a palm to her head “—and Starlight and Adagio.”

Aria smirked. “Oh, I was purposely distracting you so you wouldn’t notice when Adagio ran off with your friend.”

“Yeah! I got that!” Sunset snapped. “What about the other three?”

Aria shrugged. “Do I look like I know or care why they’d wander off?”

“Maybe they all left together,” Applejack suggested. “So at least Starlight is with Pinkie and Rainbow Dash!”

Sunset frowned. “That offers me like no comfort!”

Rarity nodded. “Nor should it.”

Sunset glanced around the room. “Just… No one noticed them leave?!”

“Sorry…” Twilight offered sheepishly. “Guess I got a little too involved in the conversation to notice…”

“I noticed.”

Everyone turned in the direction of Fluttershy, still sitting in the same spot she had been since the band had taken a break a while ago.

Sunset gave Fluttershy a small frown. “Well, why didn’t you say anything?!”

Fluttershy’s lips tightened and her forehead creased into her own frown. Even if I’m trying to speak up a little more, I’m still Fluttershy!” she stressed as if invoking her name was answer enough.

In this case, it was. “Okay, right,” Sunset replied. “My bad. But we have to find Starlight before Adagio corrupts her… FURTHER!Sunset shouted in an urgent tone.

“Dude, chill,” Aria said. “I mean, did Adagio hatch this plan specifically so she could separate you from your pony field-trip pal? Sure!” Sunset let out an annoyed sigh as Aria continued, “Does she want in your friend’s pants as well as every single other piece of clothes that’s on her right now? Absolutely.” Sunset buried her head in her hands as Aria powered on. “But it’s not like Adagio lures her victims into a windowless panel van with promises of free candy and puppies. She’s more about getting them into compromising positions before she pounces.”

“Is this supposed to make me feel better?!” Sunset exclaimed.

“Naw,” Aria grinned smugly while shaking her head. “Actually, I kinda like watching you freak out.”

Sunset let out a sigh so heavy it seemed likely that Sunset herself suddenly dropped a few pounds. “Just… I’m going to go looking for Starlight!” she announced as she walked to the door. “Any help anyone is willing to offer would be greatly appreciated!”

Those sitting got up and headed for the door, soon everyone was out in the hallway of Canterlot High.

Sunset looked one way then the other. “Okay, they couldn’t have gotten that far!”

“Don’t Pinkie and Rainbow Dash have cars?” Aria quipped. “Last I checked, those can cover a lot of ground in a short amount of time.”

Sunset turned and sneered at Aria. “I distinctly said I wanted anyone who would help!”

“And I said I like watching you freak out!” Aria snapped back. “Anyway, Sonata is probably with them, so if Adagio is trying to take advantage of your friend, which she definitely is—”

Sunset let out a growl.

“— it’s gonna be the stupidest way possible.”


Starlight’s tongue slowly protruded out from her mouth, it’s tip stopping as it came into contact with something orange before Starlight dragged the entire length of her tongue over the rounded mound.

“Hmmmm…” Adagio purred. “Yes, use that tongue…”

Starlight retreated her tongue and smiled to herself. “You were right, Adagio. This orange sherbet is really good.”

“Isn’t it though?” Adagio said with a grin as she pulled her orange sherbet cone back towards her own mouth and lapped at the same spot Starlight had just licked moments ago.

“Still,” Starlight said, “I think I prefer mint-chip.” Smile on her face, bounce in her step, and most importantly, ice cream cone shoved down her cleavage, Starlight leaned her head down and began enthusiastically licking at the green scoop of ice cream hovering in front of her, droplets of it already making its way down the cone and closer to Starlight’s exposed purple skin.

“I really like your new friend, Pinkie!” Sonata quipped. She leaned forward and took a lick of her own sprinkle-laden pink ice cream sitting on a cone, likewise held in place by her own ample sweater puppies. “She has such great ideas!”

“I know, right?!” Pinkie replied as she took a lick from a rainbow-colored ice cream mound covered in sprinkles that was held, not by hands, but by the cone’s owners endowed chest. “Best idea ever!”

Adagio leaned down and looked at the trio of cones being held in a rather unconventional manner. Her eyes lingered as a syrupy smile slowly spread across her face. “The method certainly seems to have its benefits.”

Starlight jumped slightly and looked down, taking note that her ice cream was escaping its cone confines and finding its way onto her carrying cleavage. “Granted… Sunset was right and that it’s a tad messy.”

Adagio licked her lips. “Don’t worry… I’m sure I can help you girls clean up later.”

“Thanks, Adagio!” Pinkie replied.

“Yeah…” Starlight said as she took a few more licks from her ice cream. “I’m sure that’ll be helpful…”

Walking next to Pinkie and holding chocolate cone of her own, Rainbow Dash let out an annoyed groan.

Adagio glanced up from the view she was clearly enjoying. “Oh calm down,” she said. “I’ll let you help.”

“It’s not that!” Rainbow Dash said. “Uh, thanks, though…” She sighed and stared at Pinkie’s chest, a somewhat obvious look of jealousy coming over her as her eyes lingered on Pinkie’s shirt saboteurs.

Pinkie looked down briefly then back up. “I’m sorry, Dashie!” Pinkie said as she puffed out her large chest towards Rainbow Dash, presenting the ice cream cone which was already melting and covering Pinkie’s cleavage and shirt collar with a sticking coating of melted ice cream. “Did you want a few licks?”

Rainbow Dash’s face tightened into a scowl as she looked down at Pinkie’s massive chest and her brain raced with the various discussions just had on this very topic and the general unfairness of it all. “Yes!” she answered simply before leaning her head down towards Pinkie’s ice cream carrying happy pillows and sticking out her tongue.

The End

Author's Note:

Again! Thanks to thegreatcat14 for inspiring this story with her art and our conversations, Tired Old Man for his edits and much welcome contributions, and Nova Quill for her own edits and ideas (as well as some insight I wouldn't have otherwise). Also, she's to thank for that image up there. :rainbowlaugh:

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Comments ( 71 )

Here's to boobs and science, may the two continue to intermingle.

I'm a man
I like to shit
I like to EAT
I like to piss
This has no relevance to your story, adios!

Honestly the best version of Sonata yet.

:facehoof: Oh Justice...what did you go and do now... :rainbowlaugh:

But what can one say, really? It's a story about tits. Specifically about the Rainbooms' tits. So yeah, instant win. 💜💜💜❤💖

And keep in mind that big or small you can still find love even if your boobs are AWOL~

Oh god I just about lost it. 😆😆😆

I love how this just derailed into a rambling conversation about clothes, too. This is the most fun kind of story to read and to write.

Double toothpaste...heheheheh...

Truly the greatest discussion of all time.

I liked this, it was really funny. Also interesting to see Starlight get a role that would usually go to Princess Twilight, props for originality.

Hey, you know what?

Shout out to boobs.

Anyway, nice.

One of the breast one shots I've read recently.

This was very strange, but also hilarious.
So...par for the course for your one shots. Loved every bit of it.

So yeah, I'm gonna go stick my head into a tub of mustard and then go to the rabbits and reveal I am their new king.

Edit: Hey, I'm a friend of DeltaXeno and from the description of the story, along with him having actually done as he said, I can surmise that reading it caused a bit of a short circuit within his brain; I keep telling him to space out the his reading of Justice's stories. He also made a replica of the empire state building with red and purple legos....in like 10 minutes. It was fasciniating and unsettling to watch. I'm kind of curious to see how crazy this story was.


Wonderful news! The Rabbit King DeltaXeno has made me his advisor. Not so wonderful news: His subjects hate him and have done a great disservice to him! They refused to come to ball he held for the President of France! He has decreed that in response, the both of us shall eat all the lettuce in the world, and make them watch. And then we shall have counsel with the emperor of saturn in regards to the imminent war with the blartymians of dimension Xtl-G.

This was so dumb, but god damn hilarious at the same time. Not sure if it's just because I'm on mobile, but the font change early on with with word "voluminous" made me lose my SHIT, comedy gold right there

Adagio stood with her chin held high as she placed her hands on her hips and gave Sunset a typical ‘plotting delicious evil’ Adagio Dazzle smile.

Last I checked, that's her DEFAULT expression. Also, this is about par for your work. Confusing, hilarious, and you showing off your degree in Advanced What The Fuckery.

I gotta say I like secretly smart Sonata

You total bastard!

Why did you stop there!? It was about to get good!

Now this is genius. I love it!

Wondering if there's an actual time out there that Pinkie's song is supposed to be sung to.

Also, this:


That conversation got complicated. Who knew that boobs and clothes were so complex

Let me know when the sequel is out about pubic hair - I want Twilight's, Sunset's, & Starlight's opinions on bushes! XD

It's a wonder the get anything done when such a small diversion can consume their entire day.

To quote an earlier work of yours:

Adagio freakin Dazzle



It took up part of ours, too.

I agree Dashie. It is unfair.


This is the most glorious thing I've read this year. Thank You. :heart:

“Oh right… those are like the Equestrian equivalent to the personal symbols humans naturally gravitate towards, right?” Twilight asked.

And boy, don't those raise questions?

Rainbow Dash reached up a hand and thrust it in between Pinkie’s breasts.

It went in up to her elbow. "What am I looking for here, Pinkie?"
"Keep going. You'll know it when you find it."
"If you say— Whoa!"
Starlight boggled. "Did she just—"
Sunset nodded.
"Does this happen often?"
Pinkie shouted into her shirt. "Rainbow Dash! Do you still remember the way out?"
The reply came from far further away than should've been possible. "Third staircase on the right, past the confetti and the gift shop!"

“Hi, Not-Twilight-Twilight!”

“Hey!” Starlight protested.

Twilight sighed. “I think she was talking to me.”


There's something brilliant about using Sesame Street to gradually reform Sonata.

This got surprisingly political for a story about Victoria's secret compartment. And I really like theoretical political scientist Sonata.

Breasts can represent a certain atheistic appeal

I don't know about that. Plenty of deities have been portrayed with prominent breasts. :raritywink:

That was a glorious pile of madness. Or possibly two mounds of it. Thank you for a surprisingly engaging read.

...Now I want ice cream...

Anywho, thanks for writing! It was an absolute joy to read!

Smart Sonata is breast pony.

Where did the cover art come from?

Even though it’s a moot point now, my vote would have been “off.”

If you hover or the piece there will be a "source" button

Ok, it doesn't actually take me to a divientart site or anything.

Goodness. Just.


Sweater puppies. S w e a t e r p u p p i e s.

........... I have never been more simultaneously confused and entertained by a story on here in my life:applejackconfused::rainbowlaugh:

interestingly enough, i would attest to overhearing similar conversations my sisters had with their friends....

I feel like this was some kind of experiment to see how many different forms of the word "boobs" and how much sexual tension you can shove into a single story without giving it a mature rating.

All that discussion about how the portal handles clothes and nobody brought up how the portal seems to have eaten Twilight's prom dress from the first movie?

Comment posted by The Shadow deleted Oct 9th, 2017

Huh. That does seem to be the case. she went back wearing it then returned to 'earth' wearing her normal outfit.

Odd that apparently, Sunset was able to change and go back and forth with the same clothes. Maybe human have a set of clothing that sort of work like a cutie mark and you can change this outfit provided you make a big deal out of it including singing an entire aria about your past? :rainbowlaugh:

I liked this, but I kept forgetting what was going on because of everyting that happened. It was kind of hard to follow at first read. Second I had a better idea. Still funny the first time I read it, but it was a bit jarring at first. :twilightblush:

Starlight glimmer, the person/pony of bad influences. Add the sirens and Pinkie to the mix and Sunset is on her one way trip to the looney bin. The nice people dressed in white are one call away Sunny.:trollestia: Just call ahead in case you lose your mind. :rainbowlaugh:

I like how subtlety triggered Rarity became about the idea of a magical portal putting her clothes line out of business.


Rainbow Dash reached up a hand and thrust it in between Pinkie’s breasts.

It went in up to her elbow. "What am I looking for here, Pinkie?"
"Keep going. You'll know it when you find it."
"If you say— Whoa!"
Starlight boggled. "Did she just—"
Sunset nodded.
"Does this happen often?"
Pinkie shouted into her shirt. "Rainbow Dash! Do you still remember the way out?"
The reply came from far further away than should've been possible. "Third staircase on the right, past the confetti and the gift shop!"

:pinkiehappy: : And remember not to take a wrong turn like you "claimed" you did last time this happened.
:rainbowwild: : Yeah, yeah. You honestly think I did that on purpose?! I was still picking hair out of my teeth a week later the last time this happened. And people kept asking me where I got that bubblegum-flavored perfume from.
:pinkiehappy: : That's why I wax now. And, yeah....At least you weren't in the middle of a classroom when I suddenly screamed out from the orgasm you gave me when you accidentally rang the doorbell. I couldn't look at the teacher or the other students that were there when it happened for over a week without blushing.
The Other Girls: *Urp*
*The other girls quickly run out of the room for the nearest bathroom*

(Sorry, Fan. I just HAD to expand on this little part.):twilightsmile:

I have absolutely no idea what is happening but is it weird I'm kind loving it? Stuff just kinda keeps happening and it's hilarious. Bravo, well done. :rainbowlaugh:

Gosh this is just lovely, I was laughing every other word XD

I almost feel like this deserves a random tag. If it would fit anyway.


So stupid yet so brilliant. Who knew you could have intelligent conversations about boob pockets and the many different uses for them.

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