• Member Since 13th Jan, 2017
  • offline last seen 3 hours ago

Moon-Lite


Like the Phoenix

Sequels1

T

I have fallen in love with the Anon-A-Miss story line, and all the different stories that depict darker, more realistic takes on what may have happened. It is heavily inspired by a lot of different Anon-A-Miss stories that I have read, and I decided to give my own take on the story line, and everything that could have happened should that event be so traumatic as to break Sunset’s spirit.

Gore warnings for self harm.
Teen rating for mention of self harm, and the discussion by characters about self harm and the aftermath of self harm
General warning for not great writing xD

Chapters (20)
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Comments ( 802 )

Sunset should have a person who likes her for who she is and doesn't believe the Anon a Miss bullshit.

If you need to find a boyfriend for her who trusts her ley me know

I like how this is going. Some of it could be broken into slightly smaller paragraphs, but it’s not too difficult to read. I can’t wait to see how things go from here.

A good start, few mistakes here and there but overall well done. I'm looking forward to seeing more of this story!

Nice. I kind of want to see where this would go if sunset dies but thats my dark side talking. Besides this im liking it. Keep it up.

Please save my perfect widdle Sunny buns! :fluttercry: (Cheerilee ? Berry Punch?)

Intriguing start and hope things go well for Sunset. Also, I feel that some of the large paragraphs could be divided up into some smaller ones.

Intriguing divergence, getting Sunset to Crystal Prep and meeting Sci-Twi early. Definitely wondering how her attending Crystal Prep would affect things given Cinch.

Also, slight nitpick, but the nurse wanting to call Sunset "Sunny" for short seems odd. Yes, writing it it is shorter, but saying it is no more difficult than saying "Sunset" and it's not like "Sunset" has any difficult syllables in it. If it was meant to be short for "Sunset Shimmer," then just Sunset would have done. But, as I said, slight nitpick.

8220839
Heh, there will be a couple people that like her for who she is~

8220996
Yeah, long paragraphs are my biggest issue >.< gonna try my best in the rest of the chapter to fix that~
Glad you like it so far~ ^^

8221196
Thanks for the vote of confidence~! ^^
I expect a ton of mistakes sadly, never did well in english class xD

8221324
I guess you'll have to read what happens? ;'D
Glad you like my crazy rambling~ ^^

8221538
*fingers crossed*
Though I can tell you it is neither of those two who find her in the snow~

8221999
I'm really bad for long winding paragraphs >.< gonna change that hopefully~ ^^
And im happy that you like the start to it~ ^^

8222013
Yup! I like the idea of Sunset leaving CHS, cause I mean really? Why would you stay there after all that, even if you were proven innocent? DX

As far as Dr. Stoic Heart wanting to call Sunset by Sunny, it's meant more for his ecentric sort of character. He was hoping to get a grin or chuckle or something positive out of her~
But yeah it makes no sense normaly, but Stoic is a *little* wierd like that xD

Alright, I'll follow this. But when it comes to Anon-a-miss stories, there's always one chapter I look forward to. The "Truth is Revealed and Everyone Realizes They F:yay:k'd Up" chapter. And I look forward to when that chapter comes. :twilightsmile:

8222252
Oh, you can bet it's going to be a big one! I got a pretty nice layout for it, but it may come a little later than expected ;'P
Glad you like it so far~ ^^

8222256
I'll make sure to have a ton of popcorn ready by that time.

8222268
Looking forward to it~ ^^

Ooh! This is good! I love it, too, because usually Luna and Celestia are portrayed as sympathetic (and sometimes useless) in conjunction with their Equestrian counterparts, but this is even better, solidifying Sunset's fear that no one at CHS believed her. And it's also telling of how betrayed the principals feel about the whole situation, thinking the girl they had given a second chance was regressing. I really enjoyed that. There are a few mistakes I wanna point out, so I'll try not to nitpick, but this was really good to read, especially that ending bit. Faithfully gonna wait for the next bit!

For the most part, it's just comma placement, but that would take far longer to point out than explain. You're actually doing really good, so please don't let these suggestions dissuade you. Whenever someone says a specific person's name while speaking directly to them, there's a comma preceding the name. Basically, like taking

"Now for you Sunset…"

and turning it into

"Now for you, Sunset…"

As I said, you do a really good job of it.
-

definitely Twilight Sparkle she thought, before putting as much of a calm smile

You may want to change that to

Definitely Twilight Sparkle, she thought before putting as much of a calm smile

-

Sunset nodded as Velvet let the room

Left?
-

that waved at Cadence when noticed

Maybe adding 'she' between when and noticed?
-

resting a hand on the sobbing teens shoulder

Apostraphes are assholes anyway.

resting a hand on the sobbing teen's shoulder

-

Celestia and Luna stood stalk still

I think the saying is 'stock still'.
-

Please… Don’t say that Twilight! We are here for you, we care about you!”

I think you meant 'Sunset', since Twilight's the one speaking.
-
These are the ones that jumped out at me while reading. It was still a really good read, though, despite that. I'm loving the plot so far!

Not a bad story so far, I'll follow it. :twilightsmile: But really? Celestia and Luna are villains? Oh well, not my favorite thing, but ok.

However, besides that, why portray them as immature people? Even if they completely believed Anon-a-Miss was Sunset, their reactions and words seemed too childish. I would have expected more passive aggression from them, given what we've seen in canon. For example: They could mention that an investigation is going on, and subtly tell Sunset that she can't hide what she's been doing for much longer; pointing fingers and being hurtful without screaming like teenagers. I even believe that would be even worst for Sunset's state of mind, and the characterization would fit their age and occupations better. But hey, just my opinion.

pls tell me that Celestia, Luna and the Humane 5 realize that the Human CMC are Anon-A-Miss the next chapter or two or a few! I can't stand to see Sunset Suffer for doing no wrong! :raritycry: :raritycry: :raritycry:

Also i hope Sunset doesnt forgive them!

8223158
In due time, my friend. In due time. Soon, we'll see the tale of the consequences of the CMC, the students and staff of CHS and the Five Bimbos who f:yay:k'd up. :twilightsmile:

8223044
Glad you are liking it so far~ ^^

As far as Celestia and Luna go, I felt like since they are not ancient beings that have lived over a thousand years, they wouldn't have the same composure and experience. These are two late 30's women who have to watch someone who manipulated their school into infighting, resort back to the same situation. They have to deal with teachers and students coming to them complaining that Sunset has gone back to her roots. They think back to how they did nothing the first time, and how guilty they felt that they did nothing, and decided this time they would not sit by idly. Unfortunately, by the time they decide to act, Sunset isnt showing up to school.

It is a little OOC, but I wanted a reason to help fully push Sunset to Crystal Prep >.>

8223158
Something will happen, though it may take a little longer than most Anon-A-Miss fics~

8222834
Im glad you're liking this so far~! Enough so to nit-pick! ^^

Im glad for people pointing out my errors, hopefully it gets through my thick head xD

Definitley gonna go through and do a few edits later today~

I really wanted to do a different take on the Principals, i mean im all for having being a little more sympathetic, even a little useless, but i feel that they do care, and they end up feeling betrayed, just like the rainbooms. I based Luna's more aggressive outburst on a story i read on this site, though i cant remember the name xP, where the nightmare moon incident was replaced by Celestia forcing Luna into vacation, because she was getting beyond strict with punishment and such, so i wanted my Luna to be a lot more aggressive~

Anyeays thats just tired ramblings xD hope to get another chapter or two done today~

8223259

Thanks for the answer. I understand your ideas better now. :twilightsmile:

You do you. Just take my criticism as some food for thought, maybe so you have ideas for different styles in future scenes. Serious, composed adults can be just as hurtful as you need for the plot to work, just with different words and tone that are more "subtle". :raritywink:

Very engaging and emotional chapter, especially for Sunset. It was nice to see Twilight and her family stick by her, showing faith in her and what they know about her as a person rather than pointing fingers just because of something in her past. I feel pony Twilight's anger against the EG cast was a little extreme for her, but otherwise she was fine.

As for Celestia and Luna, even if they are not as old or wise as their counterparts, they are still grown women in charge with dealing with students daily and have to keep up presentable appearances. I feel they might be surprised about Sunset being there even if they did believe she was the culprit, but I think they would show more restraint and respect in someone else's house. Maybe I could see an outburst coming out of them if it was built up over the course of, say, dinner and something happens to finally make one blow. But still, the conflict was good and serves to give Sunset enough reason to leave.

8223261
Pretty sure they already got a huge slap inthe face on what they thought, this was a real eye opener,a nd when it gets out fuly.
Will the CMC serve time ro be expeled, not sure why but the most popular thing in these fics is the CMC hardly get punished ina realstic way.
REalsticly they should of been expeled, or at least suspended from the school, do they serve jail time...well depends on the law and how high Cyber bullying is rated in those states or cities.

but they should been expeled or suspended at least, at least in most of those fics they lose alot of trust and lose thier cell phones computer privilges, and wind up with heavy punishments.
Also Luna and Celestia better get in their heads that such information on students was given to them by other students, the ones on the Rainbooms was stuff they stole from Sunset's phone, and Rainbow's grade was taken by Scoota.

Forgot to add this thought, since nobody else knew what happen to Sunset then the CMC may of kept posting.
With witnesses and hosptail record showing Sunset stay and time she was in there.
Plus staying with the family and such.... Yeah strong evidence she innocent.

8223593
thankee~! ^^

I do know I went a little ooc for the sisters, but I needed someone to come and shake up Sunset hard, and I didn't know who else in a "power position" that could do so xP

8223671
Yeah, I went very aggro with the sisters, but I couldn't think of someone else that could push Sunset in that way XP I pushed a little much with the stressed out aspect, but I was having troubles with thinking of a good final nail in the coffin for Sunset leaving xP

As far as Princess Twilight, it was a bit extreme, but her anger is more at the students in whole, moreso than the rainbooms, though she is dissapointed in them. Once again I went a little far with a characters anger about the situation ^^;

8223704
There is going to be a lot of blowback when all this fully comes out, though there is still a bit of time before that happens, both in story timeline, and when i get to writing it~

Prepare you Vaults!

GOT DAMMIT RAINBOW FLUTTERSHY YOU @#%$@#!@$ AND @#$@#$@#! GO ROT IN TATRUS!:flutterrage:

Pant Pant Pant :twilightangry2:

.....You knwo techically the CMC's families can be sued for this......Shame Apple Jack lost the farm or her rep suffered so bad she lost her buiness...Rainbow's dreams of joining the big leagues damaged and Rarity...well she find it very hard to get a bank loan to start her buiness.

“Remember Twilight, this is for Twilight, not you.” Velvet reminder her daughter, before laughing at the teens flushed face.

I think you ment sunset

I've been reading this story and honestly I'm ****ed off at not only the Rainbitches but also Principle Celestia and Vice Principle Luna. I honestly want Sunset to finally say 'Enough is Enough' and beat their ass's, Rainbow's included and then tell them off for the two faced back stabbing bitches they are! And honestly the last chapter I wish you had Twilight's mom slap both Celestia and Luna. :twilightangry2:

Sorry this has just got me angry. Also I would like to make a suggestion to some story's on FanFiction. Net you should read to get some ideas. The first two are by an author named Karndragon and they are called For His Own Sake and Deciding Alone. The third story is from another author Hung Nguyen and it is called Tattoon Ranma. You might like them.

Anyway this is an excellent story and I hope to see more.

Good Luck Moon-Lite.

8224379
Well, first the trio has to be found out before something can happen about that~ ;'D and as far as reprocussions? Stuff will be explosive xD

8224418
I don't know what you're quoting >.>;;;

Thanks for catching that~! ^^ edit was just made to fix it~

8224455
Glad you like it so far~ ^^
I doubt I could have Sunset get mad and go Rambo on the Rainbooms, mainly cause I feel like she is trying her best to repent for her previous actions. To brutalize a quote from another Anon-A-Miss fic;
"I've seen where hatred leads, I don't want to go down that path again..."
Sunset doesn't want to stoop to the level of the rainbooms.

And Cadence wasn't the only one with harsh words for the principals, Twilight Velvet and even Night Light gave them supreme what for xD

I will definitly have to try and check those stories out when I have some free time~ ^^

8224467
I know i was venting a bit Fluttershy element of Cruelty, Rainbow element of Abandonment. that what they should eb call.
Can't wait and please please tell me that Sunset doesn't go thru anymore confronations like that!
First she starts to recover then gets destroyed, then starts to recover only to get destroyed again!

8224477
That is true as much as i want Susnet to bend Rainbow over her fist in her stomach... What ever they be feeling and the aftermath to the truth beingrevealed will be punishment enough and then some.

I hope the crusaders, raintraitors, Principal Celestia and Vice Principal Luna and the rest of the students all get their collective asses chewed out by Princess Twilight:twilightangry2: and the Sparkle family. The rainbooms should also loose the ability to pony up, the crusaders get split up and spend time in prison(pretty sure cyber bullying to this degree is illegal, especially when it drives the victim to attempt suicide) and Celly and Luna and the rest of the students wallow in guilt, grief and self-pity for a long, long, looonnnng time. Because by lowdy, they deserve it.

8224477

Just wondering: Will you be updating daily?

8224491
Sunset has had an incredibly rough last few weeks, but I will spoiler a bit and say:
This is the last confrontation that involves heat and anger for a little while~
;'D

8224501
There will be aloto f blowback in the end for these last few weeks~

8224511
The Princess is not very happy about how Sunset was treated, that's for sure. As far as how she reacts? Well I have a fun idea planned for later on about it~! ;'D

8224546
I dunno in all honesty~ ^^;
I have been on a bit of a story kick, and work has been quiet so I can write while i am there.
Heck, I eevn managed to get two chapters written up and posted yesterday.
I cannot garuntee that I will have a chapter every day sadly, but I will post as regularly as I can~! ^^

Shining Armour walked behind her and put his hands on her shoulders. This snapped Twilight out of her rage, causing her to look around the room

8224379

8224511
Believe me, they have their chance now. But once the truth is revealed, then it will be fate's turn to control and watch them burn.

Yeeeesssss. :pinkiecrazy: Once they learn the truth, then their precious worlds will go to complete darkness and they'll have no one to blame but themselves. And Princess Twily won't be saving their hides this time.

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