• Member Since 19th Mar, 2014
  • offline last seen June 1st

King of Beggars

One of these days we'll form a union, and get the fair and equitable treatment we deserve. Then we'll go too far, and become corrupt and shiftless, and the Japonies will eat us alive.

Comments ( 42 )

This started off cute. Then it got weird. Then it got weirder. Then it got weirder. It swung a bit too hard for me to really get invested in, but i chuckled fairly regularly.

I...think I liked it? :rainbowhuh:

God dammit, KoB.

I cracked up pretty hard at "go, you horny morons." This fic really treats AppleDash with the seriousness it deserves.

It's perfect. Horribly, terribly, wonderfully perfect.

I.... can honestly say I didn't expect that ending. Well done. 🍪

I tend to jump between stories while reading, and I had to check multiple times that yes, this was the same story.

i . .
i . .
i . . i don't think i have the words for this story . .






Cracked up at the last line.

....What the actual fuck did I just read?

It went from really good to awesome WTF territory. Kudos!

This is one of the funniest stories I've ever read. Well done.

So much dumb! I love it!

Rainbow Dash held a stolen apple in her upturned hoof, slowly biting at it, sloppily, letting the juice run down her chin. If that wasn’t a metaphor, then Applejack didn’t know what metaphors were.

I love your style :rainbowlaugh:

This was pretty hilarious.

well that was perverse:derpytongue2:
I loved it:ajsmug::rainbowkiss:

Majin Syeekoh

I don’t see why everyone thinks this is crazy.

I think this is beautiful and sincere.

This is a goddamn masterpiece.

This is a seriously well-made story. While I don't particularly enjoy the plot myself, it was so well-written that I didn't mind. It had the perfect blend of story with a hint of smut adding to it, making it a great and immersive story. The explanation of everything is seemingly amazing, and this is a story that I felt can easily become one of the best stories on the site. The characters seem straight out of the show in terms of personalities, with Granny's no-nonsense attitude, to Twilight's scientific endeavors. The ending was clever and a much happier one than the two purposefully killing themselves, and I really enjoyed reading it even if I wasn't too fancy about the idea.

I did find one tiny spelling mistake: "Lick-the-back-the-throat " I am assuming ti should be 'Lick-the-back-of-the-throat' but I could be wrong. Either way, it is pretty good.

Overall, what a fantastic story to read, and it was enjoyable to go over it.
Plot - 9.6
Story - 9.3
Smut - 7.8
Overall - 26.7/30

This story is something, not sure what as science is still working on that, but it's something.

Site Blogger

What the... what the fuck.

What the fuck.

...What the fuck?

Unfortunately for me I missed that comedy tag when I read this. I was ecstatic about the first part, it was so sweet and well-written, and you even portrayed lust without that nonsensical androcentric wingboner trope. I thought this would be some profound and heartwarming story with a bittersweet twist, perhaps something to do with amnesia.

Yeah, no. That comedy tag throws all tact out the window. Well done, I guess? I kinda have whiplash after reading that. It was very funny.

I just spent the last ten minutes laughing. Good job! :)

This was sooo messed up.... :rainbowhuh: and also really funny. You basically took a joke and humped it to the ground so it became even more funny.

Please, don' t do anything like this again, I just finished reading it and now I can't sleep:applecry:

Wow. The mood just kept going back and forth, but wherever it went it gave, like, 100% effort.
The heartwarming was really heartwarming, the ridiculous was crazy ridiculous, the serious was heavy serious, and the yet-more-ridiculous was ridiculously ridiculous.

It's actually really impressive. Very well done. Thanks for the story.

...I don't know what to say. I'll like this story, because I did like it but... hrm... also...

I don't even know what to say to this...
The only thing that comes to mind at all is the comedy, that was some great humor.

This went exactly where I was expecting it to go.

Yes I am a spectacular liar why do you ask

That there's some serious originality. Though I was almost positive that RD and AJ were going to break the machine.

I want to comment but I have no words to comment so have a rambling comment anyways.

I liked it.


I mean... just... what? What did I just read? I... honestly, I... what?! :rainbowlaugh:
I was laughing, at some point, I'm quite sure of that. At multiple points, probably. I'm still grinning. My cheeks hurt. I'm grinning like someone who's gone mad. Mind slipping and all. No, not that kind of 'slipping'...! It's just, that I, I... what?! :rainbowlaugh:
I'm fascinated. It's like watching a car crash. Horrible. And morbidly entertaining. Makes me chuckle. Makes me be ashamed for chuckling. Still grinning like a mad one.

I'm sure that, at some point, my brain will just... reset. Crash and boot back up and reset and all. It'll be fine. Just like Twilight knew. It'll all be fiii~ine...! :twilightblush:
The crash should be imminent. I only have eight word left.

This was hilarious.
Thank you for writing and

I give this 1.21 gigawatts out of wtf this was a trip.

...We’ll just take the sex-mummies and dip them in, just like soppin’ up gravy with some of Granny’s world famous biscuits! Mmmm-mmmm, that’s good immortality!”

I know it's been a while... but dammit, that line still makes me laugh.

Up until today I thought that a good story is defined by how how much it stays with you after reading.

This story is the absolute antithesis to that thought. It's like a memetic virus that slowly eats away at regions of my brain that really should be doing better stuff. It's not really funny, it's not really thoughtfull, it's not really sad, it's not even friendly enough to be so random that you can outright dismiss it. It's like waking up to find that a baboon has made a nest on your head, and you're not allowed to adress it or look at it, but you can't ignore it either because it keeps messing with everything in arms reach.

In short, this story is utterly infuriating - have my upvote and my everlasting scorn.

Literally thrusting equestria into a new age ..... That broke me

Well, yeah, you know, and, well, yeah, y'know, and y'know, yeah, well, you know.

The fact it took me this long to find this is a travesty. The fact that I actually got so emotional over a comedy is brilliance.

Well, that was unique. It was also startlingly original, hilarious, and very well written. When RD and AJ agreed to roll the dice that final time, I made a mental to check this story for a “sad” tag. I haven’t checked yet, but I doubt there is one. You… you thought of this, huh? I’m both impressed and concerned. Mostly impressed.

This describes how I feel pretty well. Wherever the story went, it went hard.

I haven't been in the fandom for very long, but it's the shamelessly insane and creative stories like this that I know will have me coming back for more for years to come.

You're a legend for this.

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