• Member Since 4th Apr, 2012
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Journeyman


Stay awhile and listen... (Patreon) (Commissions)


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Fluttershy's skills in flying are sketchy at best, but when Spitfire and Soarin chance by a monster attack in town, it is apparent that the timid little mare has been hiding some impressive talent, skills good enough to warrant recruitment into the Wonderbolts. There's just the issue of the house-eating monster between them and her.


Edited by: pabrony83
Commissioned by: Spamotron

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 62 )

“I pulled a bowling pin from a mare’s nether regions.”

Hmmm... that explained why Rarity was walking bow-legged.

Who would've guessed? :rainbowlaugh:

Read the title, thought of this.
derpicdn.net/img/2017/6/29/1474585/medium.png

Read the description, thought of this.

https://m.

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The second clip should be a story. With Scootaloo training with bulk till she looks almost like him.

Brilliant. Had lots of threads that speak of a wider world created. Potential for a series of stories based in the same place. Couple of spelling errors, but not many. Overall I loved it though.

Good story, I liked it

So, just gotta say, seems like there's a pretty big discrepancy between the short description and long description. The short one sounds like it's some story about Rainbow Dash telling the silly Wonderbolts that they are silly for under-valuing Fluttershy, but the long one suggests the story is largely concerned with a monster attack. So which is it?

You should have a spinoff set in this world.

Where Ponyville is the breeding ground for hardcore badasses and anyone from Ponyville commands insta respect from military branches because Ponyville?

Ponyville is a thousand year and ongoing program to train the most powerful Black Ops team ever.

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Agreed, I'd read the f:yay:k out of that

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See this guy agrees with me?

I mean even in canon, those ponies are badass.

8298525 Ponyville where the bad-asses of the pony world go to retire. Retire to the nice quite town where there is just enough going on every Tuesday to keep them from getting bored with retirement.
I imagine that Granny Smith is STILL hardcore to rip off nuts or other favored body parts, Fix them well enough to be eligible to be hired right in at head chef position at a fancy restaurant from the get go, FEED said organs to previous owner in a fancy restaurant setting and have it all done in seconds.

Raunchy fun, this one. kiiinda feels like it should at least have a teen if not higher age rating due to some bits though.

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I like to imagine Granny Smith shedding off her old mare skin at night to go moonlighting as the young Valkyrie she really is.

I mean come on, I just betcha she ate an Apple of Immortality or something. ONLY THING THAT MAKES SENSE!

I go babysitting for five hours and I come back to find this has reached the top box. Huh.

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Both. I cover both themes, so that's why I include both, one in each description. Wonderbolts are the everyman in a place they are severally underprepared for. Dash contrasts this because she lives in Ponyville, and the insane happenings don't even phase her, nor does the discrepancy between Fluttershy's weak flying and when she hulks out and manages to chase down a discorded Rainbow Dash (among others, some in this story and some in the show). The tazelwurm eating a house only warranted a response of resigned boredom. Neither the monster attack nor the Wonderbolts' feelings toward Fluttershy can take priority over the other in the grand scheme of things as they are both equally important and give the setting a degree of harmony. To give or write the impression otherwise would be folly.

Plus, my long description doesn't fit in the short one.

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Welcome to Night Vale and Kung Fu Hustle were to big influences on this story. I wanted a place where all the residents are just civilians with no soldiers to help them, but all the residents pretty much piss metal. Irritate Granny Smith and she'll rip your nuts off. Don't worry: spec ops trauma surgeon Redheart will fix you up after she deals with the dead reviving in the morgue. After that, try a margarita spiced with live manticore venom and a side of candy harvested from Enderhornet honey. Rumor has it no one died last month harvesting the honeycomb.

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After some consideration, I've changed it to teen.

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Rumor has it no one died last month harvesting the honeycomb.

Gotta run out of noobs sometime:derpytongue2:

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I don't think there are any left in Ponyville. I can imagine Diamond Tiara saying, "I don't abide by weakness. It costs too much."

outdoorlife.com/sites/outdoorlife.com/files/styles/large_1x_/public/import/2014/import/Image/2012/photo/1001321579/4_192.jpg?itok=NoaOKR9d

At first, I thought it was something other than a Tatzulwurm (I probably spelled that incorrectly but idc because 2:12AM) then I saw Tatzulwurm

P.S. Nice Horse Words

I want more Nightvale ponyville. The little side comments are what make it so great. E.g. the implied war with the seaponies with the fang in redheart's back, " She expected the deadbeats to not even bother; it was only one monster after all. ". ect.

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No offense.

I liked this story. I really do! Its just that I came in expecting something focused on Fluttershy, but it kind of got clotted up and distracted with all of Ponyville's sheer badassery.

I think it would be better done if this one focused only on Fluttershy and you had a separate story exploring all of Ponyville's badassery things.

Jolly good story though!

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Then you might have missed the author's note.

“We’re going to need you here. Somepony resurrected in the morgue again and they’re spewing this gross shit everywhere—”

:rainbowlaugh:

I love Ponyvilles that treat stuff like this as tuesdays, and you did an epic job taking it up to 11 with this.

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the best part is how believable it is. Remember the time Cerberus walked into town and barely anyone seemed to care after it left chasing a ball?

8299208
That I may have.

I still want to see a series though.

I love the way you describe fluttershy as a predator while she was distracting the wurm, as well as the way you explained it later at flutterhy's house, with her having to learn the way the animals move to better help them. I have never seen any other story paint her in that light, and I like that you did.

“I pulled a bowling pin from a mare’s nether regions.”

...That's hot. :raritywink:

I wrote a concept similar to this, but you executed it much better.

The only part I really disagree with is Fluttershy having low self esteem, I'd say she's definitely improved in that since season 1 and she's gotten to the point of becoming smugshy, which I absolutely adore. Still, very well done. Nothing particularly bad I can really point out except for a few grammatical and spelling errors.

Headcanon accepted.

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Hmmm... that explained why Rarity was walking bow-legged.

Kichi #28 · July 15th · · 2 ·

Not bad but what were the Princesses, Discord and the other bearers doing?

Insurance must be expensive.

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Sitting back and relaxing. I mean, they knew Fluttershy has got this.

Pretty good, but there were like 2 problems.

First off, there were a fair bit of typos. I'd get like 2 editors, or like kudzu haiku does, post the story on Gdocs first, and let other edit for you.

Secondly, some thing seem put in there for the sake of it. Just seemed a tad unnecessary.

Other than that, twas a pretty good story. Huzzah!

Rainbow Dash just yawned. "Yeah, the Apples have a long history in the area and whatnot. More rural folk, but either proud or stubborn enough to stick around like a bad itch. They even got a motto and everything."

Dash gestured to the wall of Applejack's house. It was an ornately carved wooden shield polished to a mirror shine. Imposed over the center was an extremely detailed carving of an apple tree, the craftmanship detailed enough to show the bark and knots in the wood.

"Motto? Dare I ask what it is?" Spitfire questioned.

"Eh, it's on there somewhere. I remember Granny once telling Caramel, "Steal some cider again and I'll rip yer nuts off!" once, but I don't think that fits on a crest."

Spitfire squinted and leaned in closer upon seeing something carved on some elaborate scrollwork below the tree.

SUFFER WELL

Welcome to Ponyville, noobs, weaklings, and sane people, go home NOW. :trollestia:

8299725
They're dealing with what hurt the tatzelwurm in the first place.

A lot of ponies just go with Dee Silver’s Ponyfinder rule system, and it’s fine, I guess. It’s mostly modeled after the Daring Doo novels, and the modules are pretty good on their own, but they rely so very heavily on a fantasy setting that it sort of punishes trying to be realistic;

States the magical flying pony?:unsuresweetie:

Okay, this here is a one shot wonder! I totally give it 10 on the :yay:itude meter!:raritywink:
Futters; Keep on being awesome!:rainbowdetermined2:
This is now officially my second favourite Fluttershy story. :pinkiehappy:

I love this story! Please make a sequel! Maybe where they're all racing, or that and after, Fluttershy is convinced of becoming a Wonderbolt. Pleease. :fluttershysad:

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[Adult story embed hidden]

Noc

Awesome story. Gotta love that Ponyville life.

BTW, found a few little typos. I’ll just post ’em here for now, but lemme know if you prefer to receive them via PM or something in the future.

“Go sit on a scaple [scalpel] and rotate.”
“and i [ I] had to take care of him”
“It’s [Its] head split open”
“it’s [its] saw-like teeth”
“off[-]kilter”
“she would [have] kick[ed] him in the balls”
“It’s [Its] titanic bulk”

Along with all the bottles of prickly pear juice 

Cactus juice is something like 33 dollars a liter. Converted to bits that would be 1,000 bits a gallon Yum.

8305710
I can get four bottles for 7.50. The same for the pure cane sugar sarsaparilla, also a drink Spitfire enjoys. They are delicious. Not pure, granted, but beggars can't be choosers.

8305701
Thanks for the corrections! I went through it and even got an editor to take a look, but it appears that some slipped through regardless.

8305474
I've honestly got very little in terms of possible sequels, at least in terms of my ideas. Canonically this takes place before the events of season 5 and Rainbow becoming a Wonderbolt if for no other reason I haven't seen this season or last season yet. I've only got two other bits. The first is that other piece in the comments where Spitfire goes to the Apple farm. The other bit came to me earlier and involves the EQGverse. Rainbow Dash is at Fluttershy's house and shows her an elephant gun "chambered to fire the holy wrath of Jesus." I'm honestly leaning towards the latter if I do a sequel, but I don't have anything resembling a plot.

8303629
Hey, don't insult a nerd and her tabletop preferences. And don't touch her dice. We have standards at the table.

8299306
No sane pony wrestles bears, talks down to dragons, and pets manticores without an utter lack of survival instinct and ovaries of depleted uranium. My thought process was if Fluttershy was capable of such badassery, that was her process of accomplishing it. She's not just badass for the sake of being badass, she had to climb up to where she is by going pretty much full Rambo in the Everfree.

8305474
I second this

8305620 As short as it is (most likely dead), i really love this idea. The only thing that i would have changed about that would be that -being the careful mare she is- Fluttershy gets a spotter to stand off to the side, lest she mesmerize herself and figuratively petrify herself.

8305741 I'm not knockin'; I have my own bag of dice. I'm just sayin'.

8299725
Probably camping out in the TV room anxiously waiting for a glimpse of R&M season 3

Comment posted by Rhombicosidodecahedron deleted July 18th

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I imagine they were all too hungover to deal with it, and upon seeing Fluttershy's got this they all decided to just sleep it off.

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