• Member Since 6th Sep, 2012
  • offline last seen Yesterday

The 24th Pegasus


Author of the Commander Hurricane series (A Song of Storms), co-founder of the Price of Loyalty universe, and overall world building fanatic. Join my discord!

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I have lived my entire life among the ice at the top of the world with my pod. I knew little of the world outside of the ways of We of the Sea, and as a filly, that suited me just fine. But one day, the steel whales came, and on their backs, they carried creatures not unlike myself, yet wholly different. For while I swam in the sea, they walked on the land and flew through the air. Yet they reminded me of my kind, so curious, so tragic, and so infinitely precious. Where they did not understand, they sought to learn with a foolish stubbornness. Where they wandered far from home, they extended their hooves in friendship.

Where they waged their wars, they fought with a violent savagery that was frightening to me.

As I held a dear friend close, the breath fleeing from his body, I only wanted to know one thing.

Why?


Cover art and inspiration by JhonnyRebel. Pre-reading provided by djthomp.

Featured on Equestria Daily!
And an awesome reading by Illya Leonov!
Another awesome reading by Scribbler!

Russian translation of this story can be found here, courtesy of NovemberDragon!

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 91 )

Huh... Oh, would you look at that; my heart has been ripped out. Go figure.

Seriously, though. Damn. Well done. I look forward to more of your work.

Beautiful read, truly. I love stories which are written in the perpective of one who does not truly grasp what they are witnessing. The differences between how they describe an event and how we know it happened are always interesting.

Amazing story, 10/10, would Whale again.

Brought a tear to my eye beautiful story

Amazing! This is one of the best Sea Ponies' stories I have ever read. I would love to see more of this world. I'd love to read about them learning each others cultures. Thank you so much for sharing this!

What are the two things in the picture?

7961691
An orca pony and a stallion in a life raft. Click on the picture to see more detail.

I have that picture as a wallpaper

Obviously Orca Ponies aren't at all like regular orcas. Orcas understand killing very VERY well. They play with their food...

Hannible Lecter would like them. :pinkiecrazy:

I'm not suggesting you did anything wrong. But normal orcas are ungulates so there really would be no need for orca ponies.

as you can see generation 1 orcas are totally capable of speech.

7962139 Hmm... not enough guns.

Bloody beautiful.

Fucking hell, this was beautiful!

I don't like knowing if a story is sad before reading it cause it allows the feels to hit home. Unfortunately I saw the tag for this one so knew this would not have a happy ending. The feels still managed to hit home and for that a applaud you. Good story.

7962116
Woah, I never knew there was an animated series of Free Willy. :pinkiegasp: Guess I have another show to put on my list of things to watch when I have more time.:rainbowlaugh:

As for the story here itself, beautiful! I loved it and even teared up when she found her old friend dying.

Wow. Definitely going to come back to reread this another time.

oh sweet, someone wrote a fic based on this image! I guess you saw it when we featured it on derpibooru?

def gonna have to read this one!

Made my day and something in my chest quake.

This is beautiful. From the bit where she finds the first ships, to her first taste of naval warfare (Beautiful in a strange way if you think about it), and then the death of North Star. All so freakin' beautifully written :fluttercry:

Well played, XXIV. Well played indeed

Oh look, those are my feelings, ripped apart with my bleeding heart :pinkiesad2:
This was beautifully sad. Kudos, have a fave, a like, and the realisation you almost made people cry. You monster :fluttercry:

7961548

You might like this one then.

#shamelessplug

Dammit mane, I wanted to pester you about more, more underwater world, more orca ponies, more ocean exploring. But that's a one-shot and sequels don't have any reason to appear, WAAAaah...!:raritycry:


7962116 An interesting and engthy article about ungulates and their definition. Maybe this can appease some questions.

I needed a story like this today. Thank you.

Was hoping it would be about humans.

Aaaaa, I can't cry at work!

Beautifully written and I love how you wrote her outside perspective. Ugh, my heart weeps for her.

A well-made classic, plain and true.

I dunno if it's the crazy warm weather around here lately or the overall plot or what, but...I haven't felt this way from reading a fanfic since my first full summer as a brony in 2012.

This is a flat-out good, unique, and wonderful short story. It explores new ground while using new characters and concepts with older themes. It's creative. It has a satisfying and emotional end. It tickles a favorite theme of mine with juxtaposition of cultures and using the point of view of one who does not entirely understand what is going on. It feels genuinely new and I guess I'm feeling nostalgic because it reminds me of earlier times of encountering new, explorative fics.

This was a satisfying read, 24, and I absolutely thank you for writing it and putting it out here.

Cyi

This is a truly great story. I don't know how to properly state just how great this is, as I'm still leaking liquid pride. :fluttercry:
so bravo

I blubbered... I whaled... I'd like to plank you for writing this.

This certainly was an interesting perspective in this story.
HURT's Alone With the Sea came to mind at the end with North Star.

(Come to think of it, he did not have an unfortunate brother/uncle named White Star did he? That would be terrible luck for their family...)

7961881

Orcas understand killing very VERY well. They play with their food...

Hannible Lecter would like them. :pinkiecrazy:

One issue; Hannibal (of the original, Thomas Harris stripe) would not stoop to merely "playing with his food". Hannibal is extremely cultured and intelligent with refined tastes in art, food, and wine and is deeply offended by rudeness (in one case Hannibal, in a fit of vengeful whimsy, kills and snacks upon a boorish redneck bow-hunter after mutilating his body in the style of Wound Man).

Hannibal Orca Pony would probably do something equally whimsical, like say bashing the survivors of the rafts into a broken, bloody pulp, in order to recreate Théodore Géricault's Raft of the Meduas, before breaking out the proverbial Chianti Amarone and chowing down...

Speaking of hunter killer orca ponies, this would make for an interesting inversion of the whole Price of Loyalty Pony/Griffin war with orca ponies preying upon penguin griffins...

The story reminded me of this picture.
picture

Beautifully sad.

I didn't need this... But I loved this... I don't think I've read another fic so intently before. I'm speechless. Usually I'd formulate some form of criticism but it's perfect. I'm calling it now, this story is perfect. Thank you for this, it's a beautiful read, spectacular. :pinkiesmile: :heart:

I didn’t know what to do, so I merely held him close and tried to sing to him, like he’d done so many times to me. There wasn’t a particular song I sang to him so much as it was just pure emotion. I sang of sadness, regret, and remorse. I asked him why land-walkers could do this to each other. I asked him so many questions, so many things I wanted to know, but I never got a response.

:pinkiesad2:

Amazing work, a very beautiful story. :twilightsmile:

Right in the feelings.
Beautiful story, thank you!

gawd that was beautiful. I'm so glad that image got featured on derpibooru, I absolutely loved it and now it's led to this wonderful story.

That... that was gorgeous. Do not stop writing.

This was really nice, thank you.

This story is perfect. Thank you.

This story deserves all the love it can get, it truly struck me something fierce in a way a fic hasn't done for me in a long time. Just such a gripping read especially because I had seen this pic on Derpibooru several days ago and when my friend Chaos Phantasm brought this to my attention, my eyes literally widened and I hopped on the site to read it.

Perspective ... perspective between cultures and the overall handling of emotion itself in this story, but mainly the perspective is just what in my opinion makes it so special. If I could upvote more than once, I would :twilightsheepish:

Not just all of that but this story is also breath of fresh air from the old formulas of this turning out to be some famous human naval battle (because anything having to do with war has to involve humans! Ugh ... ), or a case of arguments in threads over how pony technology and assumed pacifism would make a setting and premise like this impossible without some kind of crossover or human presence in the story.

Just absolutely exquisite!

An innocent punch to the feels, gotta love them.

7965057 So much madness and chaos and disharmony... Discord would have little to do in such a world of carnivorous crazies! :pinkiecrazy:

Ah! Right in the feels!
This is an amazing story! I absolutely loved all of the thought that was put into the world and characters! Having someone reunite with a lost friend always hits me in the heart, and with death it makes it sadder. Amazing work! Don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise!

Always keep writing!
Spyderwillster

A really beautiful story. You can almost feel the confusion and sadness off the orca pony when she watched North Star dying in her hooves (or fins I should say), which slowly becomes melancholy as the years passed, until at the end of her days, she found the truth. I don't know how you did it, but you managed to make me feel the passage of decades in just a few paragraphs, and in the most breathtakingly genuine way. I honestly don't know what to feel sadder about; that the orca pony never got to truly know North Star, or that he never truly got to know her.

Ladies & gentlemen, The 24th Pegasus strikes yet again as he hails tragedy upon ridiculously life-like character.

I...:fluttershysad:
*sighs*:ajsleepy:

I don't know why, but i just can't find the ability to cry tears... my eyes feel like shedding tears, yet none flow...:fluttershysad:
But on the inside, i find myself drowning in a waterfall made of tears... i can breathe in it, yet i still drown... this story, it touched my heart and soul... it stopped the falling tears with the sadness it brough to my thoughts....

War.... it is a fools errand... yet it still is sometimes a thing of necessity when no amount of talking will help... when blind fools cannot be reasoned with, our history has shown the tragedy of war and what it costs to us all... lives lost on all sides... no one wins a war... the only thing war gives, is sadness for all sides...

War.... it never changes:pinkiesad2:

And then, the Fire Nation attacked.

This was very beautiful. Thank you.
I would like to read more about them.
(I would have an idea, but my writingskills are... on vacation... yeah, lets go with that)

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