- Member Since 16th May, 2015
- offline last seen Nov 15th, 2020
Lise
If you happen to cry, I will be there. If you happen to smile, will you do the same for me?
Lise
Joined 16th May, 2015 ·
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God damn. That... that was good. Crushing in an awesome sort of way. I'd always wanted a last survivor story, im glad I got it. Especially with the changelings, the most ambiguous race in Equestria.
With any other race, I would accept it as canon on the spot. The death of such a rare beautiful (personally wish Flurry Heart was never born) life, that of an Alicorn no less...
Cadence and Shining with do it. They would purge and kill them all. The love of parents is one of the strongest feelings any being can feel. Maybe even Twilight, blinded by grief and goaded on by Rainbow and Applejack
Not Celestia though. That pony has been around too long, done too much to do a genocide. A specieside? Whatever. It's OOC for Tia. But that's pretty much my complaint with the story.
They were just trying to keep their race going and... everyone... gone.
Well done.
...I honestly can't think of a criticism. It was tragic. It was sad. And it makes one wonder: What must it feel like to be the last of... anything? Moreover, what must it be like to know that you caused the extinction of your own species? I can't help but wonder if presidents of nuclear powers ever think and embrace the horror of that responsibility. We have the power to wipe out our own species with the push of a button. Trying and failing to replace this princess -- Flurry Heart, I'll assume? -- seems like the nuclear trigger that set off Armageddon for the changelings. The weight of that guilt, when Shelly ran when she should have stayed... probably wouldn't have made a difference -- there likely still would have been a purge. But the fact that it was her failure that caused that nightmare. At least she wouldn't have had to live all that time knowing that she had doomed her race.
That being said, genocide seems highly unlike Celestia. Maybe Luna would do it, maybe an enraged Shining Armor would lead a crusade, hell maybe even a snapped Cadance or Twilight... but Celestia doesn't seem to have the stomach for a complete slaughter fest, much less when all she has to go on is that one changeling killed one pony. To her mind, that wouldn't likely damn the entire race. She would likely drive out the changelings, but butchery? I doubt it, unless she too had completely, utterly snapped, and even in that case, I think Shining Armor, Cadance and/or Twilight would be the first to break.
Good story, though. Well done.
This was very touching, the way they shared their love just so they could live their last moments with a little bit of company. It really makes you feel the pain of a dying spices.
7458745 :) Thank you for the kind words.
Yes, I expect the entire Twilight family to literally break and go on a rampage. As for Celestia, she is almost a grandmother to it as well. I just interpreted the death of an alicorn to be enough to affect even her :)
7458863 Yes... At least they found each other. They managed to share enough love for a talk. :)
7458876 :D Thanks! You seem to enjoy my tragic stories a lot :)
Yes, you are correct about the trigger. I still interpret that if everyone close to her breaks, so will Celestia. Ponies come and go, alicorns (should?) last forever :) Having one of those gone, and 2 others be broken for decades might be what it takes for her to lash out.
7459677 Thank you :D
Tried to convey it best I could. Still learning how to do tragedies. :)
The news about the return of the changelings this season really has brought about an embarrassment of riches when it comes to stories about them. Bravo!
I find it amusing that commenters are grousing over Celestia's actions. I went back and re-read that passage and you cleverly left it vague. It is Percy who gives the news, and Shelly assumes it was Celestia.
For all we know, it was Twilight on her own, or her, Starlight, Shining, and Cadence acting together in some combination to take that ultimate step. I suppose it could even be the entire Mane 6 firing up their Rainbow Power, though I wonder if the Tree of Harmony wouldn't allow such an action to be taken? Good stuff to ponder.
A fantastic read. A chilling end, too.
We've seen that Alicorns are subject to extremes when their special talents cause problems... Luna went Nightmare.
How would the Princess of Love handle losing her foal, in what would have almost certainly looked like a murder out of spite from Chrysalis.
We could have had a Nightmare equivalent Cadence. From there... What happens? Twilight is family, the other mane 6 are her friends. What do you do in such a horrible circumstance?
They might have broken Equestria itself. Changelings murdering babies, and if they defended Chrysalis or she refused to acknowledge what was happening...
Great work. I love the term 'heartvoid'.
Very heartfelt and very well done.
dayum... just... ow
Very well done. Something passed through my brain as I thought it over. It was this:
Of course as you read this you're hoping that some kind hearted pony wanders by and saves them with love. Generally writers tend to write changelings in a sympathetic way (Including this story). But in our own lives there are other living things which we hate at a deep, deep level. What if ponies felt this way about changelings? What if they saw a changeling the way we see a tape worm? A maggot? A leech?
7461346 That is some deep shit.
Everyone get your boots and overalls on. It's going to be a messy load of philosophical feces here.
But seriously, that is interesting thinking right there...
7460374 Does this story make you more eager for the Changeling episode coming soon? Where Spike befriends a Changeling?
Something has left me wondering though... Remember the Hearths Warming Eve episode? The "Wind-igo" things fed off of hatred and made the entire and inhospitable from a few tribes squabbling. What power would they have from the forced extinction of an entire race? Would they freeze the world? Luna's Moon? Celestia's Sun? Beyond? I shudder at the possibilities.
7461372 As a die-hard Spike fan, I'm not sure it's possible for me to be any more eager than I already am! Spike making history by putting a dent in the hatred between ponies and changelings? Sign me up! In fact, I'm so eager for it I've already started writing a fanfic that serves as a followup to the episode, even though it hasn't even aired yet.
But yes, all these stories that are tying into the upcoming episode and the season finale are making me really excited!
I ask for a sequel to When in doubt, Water flowers and you kill off the whole race, remind me not to ask something about pegasi Lise.
7461591 If the episode airs and that Changeling screws all the ponies over, I'll get the rubbish bin ready for your fanfic.
7461634 I'm prepared for that possibility.
Although the previews for it have been, shall we say, extra-spoilery? So I'm not too concerned. 
My, my. This was excellent, really enjoyed reading it. Also, I gave you the number 69 upvote.
(Is it bad that I laughed when Shelly admitted what she did?)
Now that is how you do a tragedy.
Well done, Lise. Well done.
7461753 yes, it is
You know, I was supposed to go to bed tonight and be happy, even a sad story couldn't get me gown with all the joy I had, but YOU, YOU JUST HAD TO WRITE THIS HUH? Make me want read it and not be able to stop. WHY ARE YOU SO GOOD WITH WORDS?
Fine rants over, but I'm still fake mad at you, and refuse to take responsibility for my actions.
7461446 well the extermination of a race wouldn't be from so much hate, you have to think, this happens because a mother lost her child, which had definitely happened during the wind-igos rule just by logic, but the mother just happened to be an alicorn, and the race was killed in a few days, giving only fear in them, not much hate. But I may be wrong and anyway good theory, do love it.
By all accounts, this is a perfectly fine written story and a great example of a tragedy. I'm not surprised by its reception thus far at the time I'm writing this. So let me start off by congratulating you on its success.
That being said, I know this opinion won't be popular, but here it goes: I just didn't feel anything reading this.
And you know, it's weirdest thing is, because anyone this site who knows me knows my absolute love for changelings and might be confused why I haven't had a much stronger reaction to this story. Yet my feelings towards it can only really be summarized up as, "... Eh." I may have an idea why, though.
I've gone on huge tangents in the past how much I don't like popular trends in changeling fanfiction. I'm fine with the idea of good changelings and introducing moral shades of grey, but I don't like how so many stories go out of their way to portray changelings in an, at times, overly sympathetic light, especially ones that simply border on overbearing angst. It bothers me how very few stories explore the changelings' cruelty and wickedness from the show and comics further, showing what truly evil monsters they are. And yeah, whether its Celestia or Luna or strangely Shining Armor, I definitely don't like how so many changeling stories channel that kind of creative energy instead into turning the herbivore ponies who we do love into a faceless horde of murderous, borderline genocidal racists. Honestly though, that gripe's actually got more to do with their more prey biology rather than them just "knowing better."
I understand I'm in the minority here and how sympathetic changeling stories are what's popular, having been around this site since 2011 and seen thousands of changeling stories come an go. The concept and themes of "changeling starving/going extinct" often at the hands of a genocidal Equestria with the plot focusing on "the last changelings dying" is one I've just seen done so many, many, many times over the last five years and in eerily similar fashions.
I think that's why I don't feel anything towards this story. I've read so many stories of changelings suffering and being miserable and ponies behaving like blood-crazed racists, the shock factor of it just isn't there anymore. I know I'm supposed to feel sadness or pity for the changeling characters, and some horror and fury at the ponies, but I just... don't. It's become so normalized around the site, it's become, for lack of a better term, blasé.
On top of that, my own personal preferences already set me against the story from the start, so that's hardly fair of me.
But hey, credit where credit is due though, the role of Flurry Heart's death in the whole mess was an interesting choice setting this story apart from many of its kin.
Wow, I actually did go on another tangent there, didn't I? My apologies. Just to close off, again, I congratulate you on your stories' success and for writing a solid story that has quite evidently managed to emotionally reach people. It just didn't do anything for me, sorry.
I've never understood why these stories are as popular as they are. Maybe I just need to pound it in my own thick skull that this sort of story is never gonna my cup of tea and get over it. But if somebody can explain to me the popularity of these stories, I'd really appreciate it, because for the life of me, I just can't see it.
--Magic Man
7462260
It took long eclough to realise that. or will still cricism story that do it but then never constructively criticizing them and then lambasb the author.
I remember that time and it was I expect better out of you but maybe now you have turly grown from that
7462260
I agree on a level, and don't feel bad for rambling. It's legit criticism and it essentially shows that you, as an author, cannot appease everyone.
Also, thanks to your rambling, you gave me an idea. Thanks for commenting.
EDIT: Didn't say what I agreed on. Oops. I agree that the story made me feel nothing, but it wasn't entirely because I didn't think it hit me emotionally. There's just an emotional disconnect that the story caused that made me feel nothing until the ending lines hit. It just depends on how someone reads it, and how willing they are to read closely. Also, it depends on if they like the concept or not. The concept for this story is intriguing, but as I said, not everyone will like it due to the path it takes.
7462884
Double oops, replied to the wrong comment. This is why I shouldn't be commenting at 4 AM.
7462260 It took me a moment of reading to figure out we were supposed to be sympathetic to the changlings, rather then getting what them and their army deserved for essentially causing so much.
I'm not sure we are supposed to be considering the ponies blood crazed racists in this. Chrysalis practically declared war, ended up with a royal family member killed, and thus the army/kingdom of Chrysalis was purged beyond belief.
Of course I don't care to view changlings as most on this site do, that they deserve to be entitled to the ponies things because Chrysalis made a throwaway comment about food. (And considering she's a habitual liar..)
7460374 :) Thanks. Changelings are interesting (Then again so is every other character, as well as Flyrry :))
I'd think all of the alicorns would snap at such an event, but that, of course, is left to interpretation ;)
Now an curious if the Changeling shown turns out to be Flash. :P
7460903 Thanks!!! :) Means a huge deal coming from you :D
Nightmare Cadence would be quite interesting. Maybe something close to corrupted Galadriel :D Definitely food for thought.
On that note, curious how your own Cadence will react when she finds out O:)
7461278 :) Glad you enjoyed. :D
7461338 Well... Maybe this wasn't the happiest of stories... O:)
7461346
7461362
:D Interesting. Going by that logic, one might consider they also could be used to heal diseases in some fashion? Just like leeches do? :D
7461605 Aww. This wasn't that sequel! Don't worry :P
7461753 :) Thanks. Though, maybe it was bad you laughed... *ominous music*
7461789 Thanks, Soaring :)) Glad you enjoyed, and also curious what your fic would be :))
7462090 O:) Sorry... It's my editors! They are betterer in words than I am! :P
Hope I didn't cause you to lose too much sleep :)
7462260 :D Thanks.
Sorry, if was too cliche. I'm still fairly new and experimenting with stuff. Guess what was new for me wasn't new in general. (Still was a learning experience :))
I honestly have no idea why changeling stories are popular. Maybe because they can literally be anything? :) Maybe I should try an evil changeling story (like Saorin :)) In any event a very huge thanks for the great commentary :) (almost longer than the story itself :))
Will try more to make something that's a bit more innovative in future :D
7463772 eh I blame a different story for the no sleep, you just created sadness.
But still well written, I do like it
7463792
Hi Lise,
Thanks for being so understanding. I can appreciate you're still experimenting with stuff, but yes, this type of story has been hundreds of times on this website.
Well, my question wasn't about changeling stories in general, but why these types of stories about them are as popular as they are. We seem to love writing stories that try to portray changelings as more overly-sympathetic than they honestly deserve to be using ill-placed sentimentalism. It wouldn't be so unexpected from the MLP universe, were it not for the supreme irony of casting ponies as the villains to achieve said effect. It's that part that kills these stories for me.
In this story alone, even if Flurry Heart's death is supposed to be the trigger for Equestria actively committing a brutal genocide that would make the Third Reich blush, you're still trying to sell me that the pony characters who I know and love have become these red-eyed, murderous hyper-racists purely for the sake of the plot to work. That this entire nation of herd herbivores who hold friendship as a key pillar of their society has uniformly overnight gone from cowering in fear from zebras and bunny stampedes to now organizing mass hunts of sentient creatures to slake their murderous thirst for changeling blood.
It's a pretty big, bitter pill I'm being asked to swallow.
But hey, you know, if you do decide to write a changeling story featuring genuinely evil changelings, I'd be more than happy to offer any advice, that is if you're in need of it. You've got quite a few stories under your belt already so you'll naturally do fine, but just in case you're interested in discussing it, I'll be happy to chat.
Take it easy.
--Magic Man
God damnit Lise!!!! WWWHHHHHYYYYYYY!!!!
7463621
Since we all know that if only few soldiers had died it would have been all ok.
7463752 A lot can be expressed using few words granted that their properly used and you did an excellent job of that.
7465232
You know, I totally agree with your points in general.
With the two here talking about "the change" so ominously, though, I wonder if the ponies became so bloodthirsty the natural way, or if one (or several) of the magical powerhouses who loved Flurry Heart so dearly helped things along.
Magically.
Shining Armor, Cadance, Twilight, Starlight, Luna and/or Celestia, tapping into the wounded Crystal Heart... Yeah, that might do it.
7465918 In more medieval societies they wouldn't have actually counted, but I don't think Shining would take that lying down either. He's the sort of person I bet knows every soldier in each platoon.
7466195 Thanks, man. Going from our past interactions on these kinds of stories, we've got quite a lot in common.
That's actually a very plausible theory, even if it only makes the ponies look even more repugnant than they already do in this story. That basically, a character who we know and care about (more so than the changeling characters in this story) has condemned not only their soul, but has magically dragged down their entire nation and species with them for what is objectively speaking, a mind-numbingly stupid and selfish reason. (Yeah, don't care how special Flurry Heart was; one child's life isn't equal to millions).
A question I'm left asking after all these changeling extinction/genocide stories is 'Now what?' More specifically, what happens to the genocidal ponies after the changelings are all dead. What, does their blood-thirsty, crazed racism just evaporate and they seriously return to their normal lives like nothing happened? Where does all that hate and anger they've been channeling go? Or do the Windigos show up and deliver what many readers would call just punishment via complete destruction to their kingdom and lives, meaning the death of one child has ultimately led to the utter destruction of two civilizations, which only highlights the meaningless of it all.
Either way, there's pretty much no way the ponies come out of this not looking utterly repugnant and with all the sympathy and likability of snake vomit.
Beautiful.67.media.tumblr.com/cb26b485ed67aa0d7c18b69a7c5ae0a1/tumblr_nmbiws3buk1uqxdloo1_400.gif
7468159 :D Thank you :)
7461738
Hey, you could always file it under the alternate-universe tag. I'd read it.