When Crunch, a young changeling, discovers that he hasn't developed the power to change his form, he is reported to a Scout and brought to Queen Chrysalis, who exiles him from the hive. He is forced to live among the ponies that he was raised to believe were evil. Will he fight the ponies who are so wary of him, or will friendship overpower his instinct?
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Wow, I never felt this bad for Changling before, keep up the good work.
Interesting concept....I shal be awaiting more of this.
Awesome story idea, Cant wait for an update.
I wonder what adventures Crunch will get himself into.
I require more.
not bad.
*advice*
Seems a tad rushed- but perhaps that's just the style.
Could use a bit more description (taken a bit slower?) The lack of description might contribute to the fast pace.
Still worth watching.
interesting story so far
So far I like it. A bit short, but that might mean faster updates
Poor little Changeling.
Huh.
Interesting.
Now this has potential... Will track.
They just threw Crunch out like garbage... and he's a kid?
The talk of "horrible, evil ponies" made me chuckle, but.... then I saw the "Dark" tag. Just how bad are things going to get for Crunch?
1754997
You'll see why I rushed the beginning in the next chapter.
1755318
Indeed.
1756586
i kid, of course. I mis-clicked the "dark" section. It'll get bad, but not THAT bad.
Don't worry, it won't get too bad. It'll get pretty dark towards the middle and end, but what happens after that, well, that's a surprise.
Also, if anyone is willing to draw a cover pic for this story, I would be very grateful. I'm not the best PC artist.
Poor Crunch.
>.> evil rd bein a jerk D:
1759587
Yeah, there's a back-story to be found somewhere as to why she's like that. I just haven't fished it out of the deep swamp of my imagination yet.
1759539
Yeah, the little guy's havin' a pretty bad time, isn't he?
I just thought I should mention that every story I write is based on an event in my real life. Just sayin.
Except for clopfics. Forever alone....
seems legit RD being the element of loyalty she would have a problem with anyone who might put her friends in danger and considering how changlings usually are towards ponies her scepticsism is understandable.
>Nopony
Yeah, I could totally see this happening, sadly.
Interesting.... I was browsing stories appears that I've come across one of yours. I'll watch it, but just because it may hold clues to who you are.
NEED MOAR!
Changelings, as far as I know, never kill. They replace their foes to feed themselves. I just assumed they would use anti-memory spells. After all, a body is evidence. They can hide more effectively if the don't kill. And was the gray pegasus Derpy? It seems likely.
1762862
Everything gets explained about changelings (well, my version, anyways) later on. And as for the gray pegasus... You'll have to wait and see!
1762106
You'll have to wait. I mean, if that's okay with you...
1760852
Listen, Near. You have no clue what you're doing. I will defeat you, unlike the original Kira. I AM JUSTICE!
1759793
Bingo.
1760162
I'm confused at what you're saying. Help me out and explain it to me?
1762903
If you're any more sane than the previous Kira, I don't doubt your abilities. However, you fail to take into account that L has returned. I am waiting for him to wear you down, and when he loses, I'll come in for the kill. Literally. And your childish version of "Justice" is seen as wrong even by a child like me. You are the one who doesn't know what they're doing... SmilingShadowS. Or should I say BigBadFluttershy?
1762915
You have done your research, haven't you? Well, those are leads that will get you nowhere. L has already found them, and they got him no reliable information. Your move, toy addict.
1762927
Well, it 's simply a matter of determining which information is false, and which isn't. I've determined that you live in the United States, due to your language habits (not using chap, or mate. You also messaged me with color, not colour). As well, I've determined your approximate age (around seventeen) and your gender (male, of course.) the rest is merely a pool of lies. Try and come back from that, you sick murderer.
1763018
Near, Near, Near. Trying too hard. You're letting your emotions get the best of you! I've done my own research and figured out your real first name, as well as your password to this very site. From there I got your email (dymarideathnote@gmail.com) and information about you. You have a keen interest in old video games, and you appear also to have a fanfiction.net profile. In fact, you hacked into my profile and changed the email it was linked to. Not a smart idea, Near... or should I say Cooper? Keep trying, little boy. Keep trying.
1763036
Very good. I've changed all of my passwords now, however, so I hope you wrote that information down. I wonder, how is L coming along in this investigation
? I'll message him. He may be able to do better research than me. I'm a bit preoccupied right now.
1763045
He just posted a blog entry (As I'm sure you are well aware of). He mentioned investigating me. Making it public... might not be one his stupidest ideas, actually. This could be fun.
1763144
If this is, the killing of innocents and taking advantage of scared civilians, is your idea of "fun", we have a lot of differences between us. And I did in fact see his blog entry. That's all I have to say for now.
1763154
Even the great Near has typos, huh?
1763018 I came to the same conclusion Near. Well done.
1763219
I fell as though I'm missing something, though. Something... BIG... I can't quite put my finger on it, but I suppose I could try and research this Kira character some more.
1763243
I pity you, Near, so I'll give you a little hint, in the form of a poem.
"You try so hard but sadly, Near,
My age you said is off by two years
I know that you will close in soon,
But you''l fail worse than Nightmare Moon.
Give up now, give up all hope.
You're climbing up a very steep slope."
1763276
"Off by two years", So you are either 15 or 19.
"I know that you will close in soon" You are spying on my messages, as L and I have figured out.
"Climbing up a very steep slope" Perhaps giving a location clue?
And also, you made an error as well. "You"l". Karma's a bitch, ain't it?
1763298
Really? It's a shame. I was hoping to go by undetected while surveying you. Oh well. A minor inconvenience. As well, it's up to you do decide on which age is true. As for the steep slope section, that I will not reveal any info about.
And, yes, karma certainly is a bitch.
1763320
It was a very half-hearted attempt at getting into my profile. L figured it out before I did, but it was very quickly figured out. I forgive you, however, for hacking my profile.
1763329
Half-hearted is right. It was a meek distraction. I have bigger plans.
1759587 <.< evil rd bein a jerk :D
1763298 He's fifteen. Think about it. There are so many differences between those two ages. Nineteen is one of the biggest landmarks in a male's life. Consider that if he were fifteen he'd undoubtedly be a high school student. Good thing he told us exactly how wrong we were, Near. Also, consider what happened to Nightmare Moon. Kira is not alone. I'd be very careful.
1763785
But, you have to wonder, why? It's as if he wants us to catch him! Why is he telling us these things and setting us on the right path?
1763806
Possibly because I'm so clumsy? I give away too many clues? Yes, I read the message. You are no closer to cornering me than you are at apprehending Batman.
1763806 If he's not fifteen that's unfortunate, but I it is still reasonable to assume that he is a student. I can even prove he's a student and that he's NOT nineteen, if it comes to that. I do not base all of my assumptions on his word.
1763835
Understood. I will have to do some more background checks on his usernames and see what pops up. I'll also look into his emails and find out where they take me. Kira, you are going DOWN.
1763843
Well, well, well. It looks like someone has finally stepped up to the challenge for real. This is going to be better than I expected.
1763835
School... Perhaps. I may just give you another hint... Let's see if you earn it.
1763873
Honneydewp243. You play Minecraft on a friend's account. You also have adopted the username on many sites. You are on a site called Vizzed, where you frequently play Pokemon and other retro video games. That further leads me to believe that you are fifteen years old. And west coast it is, huh? You should thank Regidar for getting that out of you. Ever closer, Kira. Ever closer.
1763912
Very clever, Near. Very clever indeed. It's true, all of it. There are still a few holes to fill, but we'll see how long it takes you to fill those. And as for the hint, well, you figured it out for yourself. Good work.
So no one panics, or just you Near. I have to leave somewhere to gather some PHYSICAL evidence for a few hours. I will return. I hope I turn up something. Take this however you will either of you. And well done Near, you've gotten farther than me.
1763997 I certainly look forward to this evidence you speak of, L. It seems promising. Let's just see how far it takes you on discovering who I really am.
Good going so far, but Twilight seems a bit... off.
It's mostly this line:
Just some odd mixed signals, that's all.