• Member Since 14th Jul, 2012
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Georg


Nothing special here, move along, nothing to see, just ignore the lump under the sheet and the red stuff...

E

This story is a sequel to The One Who Got Away


A frustrated young orphan colt with a talent for painting is determined to run away from his dead-end rural village for the distant cultural haven of Baltimare. All he needs to do is slip aboard a raft and drift down the river Fen until he reaches his destination. It’s a simple plan, and would have worked just fine except for one thing.

Seaponies.

Editors: Tek, Docontra, Themaskedferret,

Image credit: Pen Mightier(pencil) and Manifest Harmony (colors)

Now Featured on Equestria Daily
And a wonderful review by Paul Asaran
Available in paperback at Lulu.com at cost

Chapters (20)
Comments ( 1089 )

First comment reserved for the author

Welcome to the sequel of The One Who Got Away, a quiet story of the river Fen, and the young unicorn who finds his new barony to contain several surprises. For starters, there is no land in his new barony. Secondly, his new castle turns out to be a broken-down riverboat. And third is… seaponies.

In this sequel, we find ourselves following the trek of a much younger colt named Turpentine, who has decided to seek his destiny by floating a raft down the river Fen to Baltimare, where he will become a famous painter. There's just one minor obstacle in his way...

Chapters will be posted one per day, starting 2/6/2017 (and two today, because the first one is kind of short), and ending on Chapter 18 and the Epilogue. So relax, watch the river flow by, and enjoy.

Just keep an eye out for the local inhabitants. They can sneak up on you.

Spacecowboy
Moderator

A different protagonist? ... better see some of our prior ponies, make that romance tag live up to its presence after all when the first one didn't quite get to that point. Looking forward to seeing how this goes and expands upon the prior story though with Gaberdine (spelling? I think I got it right) and the odd, quirky water barony. And seaponies too. Can't forget those!

EDIT - First chapter doesn't really contain a whole lot, although it does lend a bit of character to this orphan Turpentine. Really can't say anything one way or the other till more comes out, I suppose.

7926659 Please note the 'E' in the rating. The only beds here are riverbeds. After all, Turpentine is almost eleven, and Ripple is almost nine. (Do you know how difficult it is to write a E rated story with this bunch of readers?) Think of it as an adventure, with extras.

Spacecowboy
Moderator

7926670 Oh, I know, it's more a critique on the fact that Gaberdine and Pearl never had actual romance between them in The One Who Got Away. So, I am hoping that you actually elaborate on that in this story (which can be done with an E rating!) so the romance that didn't happen in the prior one does here. Romance doesn't imply anything elicit, I just would like to see more than 'casting eyes at each other' at the very end as the romance.

Can't really say if I like the POV shifting to Turpentine yet or not, will probably need a few more chapters of content to make a determination there. I can already see why you're quoting Twain though, at first glance it does seem that you are pulling some inspiration and.or creating parallels to a degree with Tom Sawyer / Huck Finn's stories here. Writing itself is solid as always, so again, time shall tell.

YES! I have been looking forward to this story for a while.

And so it begins. Eagerly lookng forwqrd to seeing where this story takes us.

7920505

There's just one minor obstacle in his way...

A riverboat? :rainbowlaugh:

laying on our backs looking up at the stars

What a world, where the old classics make laying/lying mistakes :raritydespair:

And yeah, I know, it's in character, and just a line before that he said "We catched fish". Still. :facehoof:

(what? I wasn't looking for motive, moral or plot. Just errors :ajbemused:)

trying to shove a huge collection of logs off a sandbar and back into the river.

I hope for his sake that the description of "a huge collection of logs" doesn't mean his raft fell apart on top of getting stranded :rainbowlaugh:

It was probably not as bad as Waterhorse Crusoe being abandoned on some Ponyneighsian island far away from civilization

Hee. Some nice ponifications there :pinkiehappy:

He had gotten nearly all of the water toweled out of his mane before a disquieting realization swept over him, and he stared at the campfire.

...which he had failed to light :rainbowlaugh:

Awwright. consider me hooked :moustache:

PS: concerning the chapter title... I hope he's not going to meet some seapony called "Fate" :trollestia:

(Contented rumble of approval.)

Oh, and watch out for millipedes. Some of those river peninsulas and islands are just crawling with pretty big 'uns. Especially if there's a lot of grasses and ferns on 'em.

Get ready guys, because it's finally here.

A good start. The descriptions and the introduction are very nice and sweet. It lacks a little something to be entirely caught by the plot but it's the first chapter so I guessed it will come with the next ones. A little upvote for now and I expect it to become a big one.

Some of them were adventurous excitement-seeking rebels, who actually painted the trim… red.

I loved that one. Perfect.

Not many stories on this site have had me anticipating them, let alone so eagerly. The One That Got Away is one of my all time favorites on this site for reasons I cannot quite describe. Already, I can feel the inkling of that same inscrutable feeling just from a single chapter. Cheers to a new journey.

Since Chapter 1 was so short, I went ahead and published Chapter 2 today too while I was sending the update notice to Equestria Daily for the sequel.

Ahh... the little apology at the end seems so cute. Also, cheers for the pleasant surprise of a second chapter so soon after the first!

Yay, we finally get to meet Ripple next chapter!

Poor Turpentine, though.

... Kelpies eh. Wonder if you heard from them from my story...

Love the beginning! Can't wait for the next update!

Ohey, you're Featured! Nice :moustache:

There was just one problem.

The fire was still merrily burning away, with several fresh pieces of damp wood drying on top of the flames.

Well, "problem" is one way of looking at that, I suppose :rainbowlaugh:

Still, somepony or something had added wood to the fire. Again.

*Nyer looks at the title*

It's totally gonna be a seapony called "fate", isn't it? :ajbemused:

Turpentine could not think of any of the social weatherponies he had known who would not at least stop to chat for a while. That only left… monsters.

But hey, at least helpful monsters.

Still, he had gone to sleep rather uneasily last night, thinking there had never been any terrifying monsters in any of the books he had read which built a campfire for their victims.

Exactly!

The books in the orphanage library had mentioned something called ‘backy, which he could not find, and coffee, which he could

Backy and coffee? :trollestia:
i.imgbox.com/diMNjmxp.png

and Turpentine would spend most of his free time wandering around in deep appreciation, and occasionally into a deep hole when he failed to watch his step.

Ah yes. He's a Dreamer.

Patrons were supposed to be rich and generous like that

Wow, this poor kid has really been living in his books instead of in the real world :facehoof:

the faint silhouette of a steam tug chuffing upstream.

Meaning, a boat is coming in his direction?

with the quiet lapping of the waves against the raft and the faint clink of a coffee pot as somepony poured themselves a hot drink to take away some of the fogbound chill of the early morning.

We finally gonna meet this mystery guest? :pinkiegasp:

Nnnnnope :eeyup:

At least he had one defense against being eaten, even if it was really weird.

Better put on some more, kid :rainbowlaugh:

in the distance he could see another tugboat slowly chugging down the river with a set of barges trailing behind it, and as the morning wore on, another tugboat with a set of barges chugging even slower upstream.

Some of these should eventually get to him, no? That's how rivers work :unsuresweetie:

Or at least so he thought, until he heard a very small voice from the river say, “I’m sorry.”

Houston, we have contact! :pinkiegasp:

I wonder if the whole story will take place on this island? :trollestia:

7927638 You know, it's really tough to stay modest when people write stuff like this. Stop it. Really. :pinkiehappy:
7927190 Kansas just has these little biting bugs that make it so if you pitch your tent on the sandbar, you *really* should spray first. You should also check to make sure Tuttle Creek Reservoir is not going to open up the tubes or it might get a little wet, too.
7927142 No, I'm not going to name a seapony 'Fate.'

7928287 Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale, a tale of a fateful ship...
7928037 "...Some of these should eventually get to him, no? That's how rivers work." No, barges normally go *around* islands in the river channel. The ones that go across the islands are called Railroads.
7927904 All 18 chapters (plus the epilogue) are done and parked, waiting to be published, *however* I've found out that tiny typos can sneak in even after three editors and myself have made multiple passes. As an example, the last line of this chapter had a mixed tense error that I only saw *after* I hit publish. (edit, edit, edit, whew)

7927985 Vren is referring (modestly) to his excellent story, Equestria's Changeling Queen and the Abyssal Empress, a sequel to an also excellent story, Princess Celestia: The Changeling Queen. Kelpies are the major reason the sequel is rated 'Dark.' Let's just say they're not Ripple's close relatives (thankfully).

7928450 Thank god. I was just surprised that they were mentioned b/c people don't seem to know Kelpie lore at all (I didn't until my Co-Author (he got promoted) Zervziel told me about them), but apparently you, a man of very high intelligence does :D.

Congrats on the feature btw!

*Aw Shucks* :twilightsheepish: Speaking of changeling stories, readers should also have a look at Georg's works on changelings. Seven Brides for Seven Changelings is one of the funniest Changeling shorts i've seen. There's also Buggy and the Beast for a nice serious changeling X pony romance that plays on Beauty and the Beast.

The Kelpies In Scotland
They don't look friendly

This story has been one of my most eagerly awaited fics since... ever. I have been almost entirely inactive on this site except to check in to see if this fic had been published yet. And now it is here and it is so far living up to my internal hype.

Great start.
7928450

I should've clicked the link. Now I have a craving to see Gilligans Island.

Also have you placed a link to this story on the original? I didn't see it when I looked earlier today.

Is that a sequel I spy? Hopefully it's as good as the original! :pinkiehappy:

7928450
Islands? Who mentioned islands? I just mean that boats ahead of him seen going upstream (while he was obviously going downstream with the current) should pass him at some point :unsuresweetie:

In any case, that was a minor detail. At that point in Turpentine’s journey, his planning was somewhat sketchy. Since the docks were so paintable with the schooners and big ships sailing around the harbor, he was positive there was going to be some artistically-inclined individual painting the scene. As a fellow artist, Turpentine would only have to walk up and ask for directions to the school. Maybe the artist would even introduce him to his or her patron, and Turpentine could start working on the same day while attending school. Patrons were supposed to be rich and generous like that, and living in an art studio would be a nice change, with a big bay window and lots of space to hang up his works.

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. The poor creature hasn't got a clue has he?

EEEE! A sequel to one of my favorite SoL's?

derpicdn.net/img/2013/7/31/387654/full.gif

"We said there warn't no home like a raft, after all. Other places do seem so cramped up and smothery, but a raft don't. You feel mighty free and easy and comfortable on a raft."
— The Adventures of Buck Fin

So... out of curiosity is the Jim in this potentially offensive (though not quite as offensive as fifty shades of black) narrative called Clever Mule, or Indentured Tool? Or, am I thinking too much of this where Niggle Whim or Niggle Rig are sufficient. I know people find the word renege offensive (or loaded) despite the fact it's short for re negotiating...

Omg yes the sequel. commence reading.

I kind of feel bad for Turpentine. He's so optimistic about learning art from a school and getting a patron once he gets to the city.

If Turpentine lived next to the Everfree Forest, he might have a different view of stopping to paint every strange thing that catches his eye, because some of them might catch him and eat him. They'd leave an *awesome* half-finished painting, though.

And for certain people (you know who you are) who complained that there is no romance in my seapony romances, please note that it's only Chapter 3, and the main characters are already sleeping together. (Hm, I've done this before, haven't I?)

aprilsmith.org/uploads/6/8/3/4/6834889/3760241_orig.jpg
I guess any boats would be in the main channel on the right in this river, and he'd be stuck on a little island like the one just upper-left of that larger one. Plus some rivers are huge. It could be even wider than that picture perhaps.

Oh dear. At best a tenuous attachment to reality. Not good in a farming town or when running away from it, especially if Turpentine is so convinced that fiction faithfully always recreates reality. Still, he'll be in good hooves soon. Unusual ones, but good.

Gah! If they were any more sweet I'd need to go to the doc to see if my insulin levels were safe.

Now is when Ripple's mother will probably show up with both of them sleeping.

7929587
Yeah, probably. I'm pretty sure that "No boys!" is a standard rule at whatever age they're at.

"There were probably cooties involved."

I'm pretty sure he's safe.

7929524 har har har har....

Also, we don't mind. Too drunk on d'awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

7929074 You have to remember, some rivers are friggin' huge! I've seen some in the U.S. that just look like lakes stretching on for miles. The River Fen in this story kinda has to be enormous if it has barges going down it and houses a whole population of seaponies in relative secret.

I don't know. At this point, I wouldn't mind them becoming siblings instead. But still, I suppose there's room for her to romance the Official Baronial Artist.

So good to see Ripple again and hear about Gaberdine and Pearl.

Yay, Ripple!

Also, there are seriously high levels of d'aww around here. Like, dangerous levels.

Squeeee! Even though I was looking out for this story, I almost missed it but for the feature box. :pinkiehappy:

The ripples died out, then began to move again when the coffee pot emerged out of the water, floating in a pale green aura of unicorn magic. It drifted a little while it moved towards Turpentine, who caught it in his hooves out of instinct.

Hee. I suspected he'd get that back from the moment he threw it away.

The tiny mirror clipped onto his easel gave Turpentine a fairly good view of the campfire with the warming coffee pot behind him, and he hummed quietly to himself while he drew in the mirror-reversed scene in thin pencil lines.

Ooh, sly!

The only unicorns in his tiny village seemed to hate the idea of getting wet, except for baths, which oddly-enough they made into a daily ritual.

Those strange, strange adults :rainbowlaugh:

“What’cha dooin?”

“Shh,” he muttered around the handle of the pallette knife. “I’ve almost got this.”

First contact... completely ignored in favour of Art :rainbowlaugh:

The little unicorn floated the coffee cup up onto the logs of the raft with a distasteful grimace. “Lots better than your coffee.”

“I don’t know how to make coffee."

Hah. Well, not surprising, then. At least he's honest about it :rainbowlaugh:

“When my mother shows up, can you tell her you didn’t see me?”

"Hello. I didn't see your daughter." :rainbowlaugh:

There had been a sense of reality around her, seeming more real than the itchy sand or the damp, chill breeze of the evening.

Ohboy. Earning that Romance tag already, are we? :rainbowlaugh:

“Psst. Turpentine, are you sleeping?”

Caught in that twilight area between actually sleeping and only thinking about sleeping, Turpentine jolted awake. “Yes,” he hissed back. “I haven’t seen your daughter.”

That went about as I thought it would :rainbowlaugh:

Wait, how does she know his name? :trixieshiftright:

“I’m Ripple. My mother is Pearl, and Mister Baron Gaberdine is my friend. Are you really an orphan?”

Oh. They totally know who he is, and that he's there. :facehoof:

Hi, Ripple!

“Mister Baron Gaberdine got told about a runaway orphan from some town upriver, so he told my mother and she told my aunts, and one of them spotted you here.”

Yeah, I gathered that, heh.

“Are you a monster?” asked Turpentine. “A really scary monster like a changeling or a kelpie?”

A changeling would probably not have trouble with transformation magic? Would be one really unfortunate changeling :unsuresweetie:

“Oh, those aren’t kelpies, they’re just Ambling Weeds,” said Ripple. “They’re not as scary when you realize you can eat them.”

Hah! The practical solution :rainbowlaugh:

“That is so cool,” breathed Turpentine while the watercolor drawing of the buxom superheroine fluttered unnoticed to the ground behind him. Moving very slowly in order not to spook his new subject, he moved closer and put his nose almost on top of the strange appendage. “You’re a seapony. I’ve always wanted to see a seapony.”

First contact: success!

“Can I look at your tail?”

Down, boy! :trixieshiftright:

There were probably cooties involved.

Well, Gaberdine didn't mind those when it came to her mom :rainbowlaugh:

7929524

(Hm, I've done this before, haven't I?)

Didn't even have to check that link to know what it'd be :rainbowlaugh:

:rainbowkiss: Adorable through and through. Also, I loved seeing Turpentine in his element. A shame nopony else in his town could, with the possible exception of Mother Windrow. Still, with any luck, he's found his patron ahead of schedule.

Heh. "Yeah, those fantasy monsters are totally real. Also delicious."

Very interesting to see those vestigial hooves on Ripple. Not sure if you've mentioned them before, but they're a nice touch.

Oh, and I have to ask: How exactly are pony superheroines buxom?

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