• Member Since 14th Jul, 2012
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Nothing special here, move along, nothing to see, just ignore the lump under the sheet and the red stuff...


Once upon a time, there was a young unicorn who was scarred and battered by the cruel world until he was forced to retreat behind the walls of a solitary life as a bitter and spiteful creature. As he grew up, he remained a lonely recluse, with only his best friend for occasional companionship.

Until one day when he found something the world had treated even more callously and cruel than himself. She was a changeling, badly wounded and crushed until she hung onto life by a slender thread. The only chance she had for surviving her injuries was love, but that was no chance at all, for she was a monster in pony society.

And who could ever love a beast.

Rated T for references to sex, crude language, obnoxious behavior, and weathervanes.
Editors: Peter, docontra, D48 and Tek
Cover picture FIM Sleeping Changeling is courtesy of Avarraptor at Deviant Art.
(Gypsy the Changeling is so cute.)

Chapters (20)
Comments ( 744 )

First comment reserved for the author. And so it begins. Twenty chapters posted twice daily for the next ten days. This will be a lot like Changelings, Love and Lollipops, only with fewer cannons, and non-M6 characters. Welcome to Baltimare, home of Beet Salad, who works at the combined airship/steamship docks as a night watchpony. He may be a crabby, ill-tempered, brutal loner who has only one friend in the world, but he has a heart of... well, red muscular tissue, much like everypony else, although the trials and stresses of the world have built a thick wall around the vital organ.

This story has been in the works now for close to a year, and I have to give credit to my proofreaders/editors for making my normal ramblings sound coherent for a change. Thanks, guys! Enjoy the reading.

If you want to look under the hood and see how I put the story together, I put together a blog post on the inspiration (with spoilers, so be careful).

It'll be interesting to read about a changling who isn't subdued by way of repeated confetti-induced trauma to the sinus cavities :pinkiehappy:.

Whew, I didn't think the first chapter would be approved today, with as slow as the queue went, but here's the second one as promised. Oh, and a reminder that this is a twenty chapter story, for anybody who reads that last line and gets an unintended really dark vibe.

I await further installments with eager anticipation. Surely I am typing this because of my honest goodness delight at a romantic drama, and not because the changelings have me under their diabolical spell. Indeed, I am most assuredly going to tag this story with the favorite button because of my genuine liking and not because I am being used as a cola-flavored-love-soda for our beloveable changeling overlords!

Huh. Lines on the ground to indicate aerial shipping lanes. An elegant solution to a problem I'd never thought about.

I have to commend you on APHID. I do love a good bacronym.

Definitely off to an intriguing start. I look forward to seeing where this goes.

interesting, and you have my attention.

Nice start, though poor, poor Cuteling.

Huh, i guess the love overstuffing from the other story doesn't apply here.

Well, now there's apparently and auto approval system in place, so that should help.

Another great chapter. I wonder how how friend's opinion on changelings will change once he realises that she is, in fact, intelligent.

Hahah, these landlady is awesome.

This is looking very interesting, do you have a schedule you plan to stick near, or will we be seeing spontaneous updates?

Either way I'm excited to see how this goes.

And thus we have our motivation. This changeling really couldn't be in better hooves, scarred though they are. Let's just hope Nectarine doesn't take matters into his.

Holy cracker-jack, this is going to be a doozy, and an interesting one at that. I've read too many stories about the changelings after the canterlot wedding, but all of them have been through the perspective of either Chrysalis or a child of hers, so this is a welcome change. I can already feel the emotions playing throughout the story, something I think a lot of writers fall flat trying to do, but simply by establishing Beet's character and backstory, along with the changeling's perceived hopelessness, it already has my emotions running in overdrive. I can't wait to see where you take this story. This is looking to be a great start to an amazing story, and I thank you so much for sharing this with us.

Thank you once again, and may your imagination never dull.

I don't know why but I'm just a sucker for a good changeling story. Maybe it's because of the story, Shifting Melodies, ya that has to be it I love that story.
Now these first two chapter are interesting so I'll drop this story into my 'following' tab for now.
Read you later


I am scandalized. Simply scandalized.

“How dare you insinuate Arianie could possibly hurt a fly. Just because she bit you once or twice when I let her out of her cage.” The lanky batpony laughed as he flapped up into the darkening sky, leaving his friend to start his patrol path for the evening.

I'm sure he'd have less of a problem if she hurt flies, its the fact she hurts ponies that cause the problems.

REALLY looking forward to more!

Well its obviously not going to die:moustache:

Beets has a very tolerant friend.

6965528 That's just because he wants to pork the pony pillbug with his peeeeeniiiiisssssssss.

Weathervanes are still a thing?


Welp, I am enjoying this immensely.

You done it again! Gave us another romance story!

6965528 Regarding weathervanes, we are talking about the weathervane technique Eakin mentioned in Hard Reset?

“If it’s still alive,” said Nectarine.
“She,” said Beets,

From what little I have seen of Nek thus far, I am absolutely shocked he had nothing to comment about this particular revelation.

Beets is like the patron saint of lost causes. It's fricking adorable.

6965852 Yup, and several of his(?) other fics. It has become a reoccurring joke in many fics from several authors besides Eakin.

I can't help but see Nek and Beat as Snips and Snails in about 20 years.

"You saw her first."

Hah! :rainbowlaugh:


Soooo...... She should have climbed up to the roof and used a weathervane.

... Well, that was a sudden turn, from car and wanting to kill her to wanting to buck her. :twilightoops:

Hah, Beast is such a softie.

I am loving this so far...
And the comments section...oh lord. I had forgotten about the weathervane thing...

Very sweet thus far, though it's more than slightly disturbing to see how cavalier APHID is being with the pesticides. This could go down a very dark road, especially if that kind of mentality discovers Beet's roommate.

For now, I'm just going to enjoy the beautiful ambiance and hope for the best.

I don't know why no one pointed it out before, all the other changeling-pony romances gloss over the perfection of a changeling spouse. Kudos Nectarine, kudos.

Now I'm all sad and depressed. Poor little evil enemy changeling. :fluttercry:

there was a young unicorn who was scarred and battered by the cruel world until he was forced to retreat behind the walls of a solitary life as a bitter and spiteful creature.

Ah, he must be a Harvard student. :trollestia:

6965990 6965852 6965602 It's a MLP Noodle Joke, that Gets Things Past The Radar (Oh, Tropes. How I love thee)
6966126 Nek is a little flighty. He just needs a good mare... with a store full of sharp objects.
6966296 Wait for it...
6965753 Well, there's not much romance to this point, but it can only go up from here. (hopefully)

I love the naked jokes. And the glory of a bachelor stallion's fridge: beer and green fuzzy things. Oh, and 'Spitonoikokýris' is 'landlord' in Greek (or at least I think so, according to Google Translate. Just don't ask me to pronounce it.) FYI: for those of you non-farm kids, occasionally a hen will lay an egg that doesn't have a shell. It's a little creepy to pick up, as it's just a bag with the egg white and yolk inside.

Yay character development!:pinkiehappy:

Wasn't expecting an update so soon :yay:

Ewww, at least changeling urine doesn't smell worse than . . . . . Yeah.

Really? I thought it was onomatopoeia for spit-on-something foreign sounding.

I'm liking the feel of this story. It's unapologetic in not having traditional leading characters, ones with rough patches and problems. Peices of two different puzzles as it were. Looking forward to where this goes.

Hostile little minx, isn't she?

I love the meaning behind Miss Spitonoikokýris.

But I prefer to think of the name as being literal when I read it in my head as Miss Spit-on-a-carcass. :pinkiecrazy:

6966636 My brain translates it to Spitoniorkok for whatever reason. :1

Huh, angry one, isn't she?

Love the quick updates. Looks like the angry buggy is getting some energy back .

Suicide by savior isn't going to work out too well, Buggy. Not when that savior's whole job consists of stress relief. Still, good to see that she's showing a little gumption. Now the question becomes how much of what she said was sincere and how much was just meant to get under Beet's skin to goad him into killing her. And even then, the way she stunned the landlady suggests that she doesn't quite want to die as much as she says she does.

He's totally going to be eventually screwing her isn't he?


its the fact she hurts ponies that cause the problems.


She might take a nip or two out of a pony that roughly handles her, but just look at how fluffy and snuggable she is!
(Do not even think of clicking that link. Seriously. Just do not)

So velvety soft, like a puppy ear, you could just (gently) hug her close and caress her fuzzy back.


It'll be interesting to read about a changling who isn't subdued by way of repeated confetti-induced trauma to the sinus cavities


It's like they've been married for years but refuse to divorce because this is actually the strange and quite dysfunctional way they say "I love you" to each other.

I think Missus Spitonoikokýris ate it.

Nomen omen I see.

As shocking as it may seem, I would imagine kittens make for a letgitimate food source for carnivorous species. Kittens (and puppies) would appear to pass the "Sessile/Sentient/Sapient" rule of thumb/talon/hoof guilt test for food:

Sessile: is it rooted to the spot?
Unrestricted, guilt-free eating.

Sentient: will it run away if you try to eat it?
Herbivore/frugivore species might get squeamish, but still allowable as long at the prey does not needlessly suffer.

Sapient: will it call the gendarmes/police or write a letter of protest to their local MP if you try to eat it?
NOT for eating!

like some particularly odd art project.

I call it "Weird Bug Thing in my Den"
- Still life: chitin, elastic surgical dressing, "Pretty Princess" brand lavender glitter hoof-shellac

He didn't suicide proof the apartment. He's gonna wake up to the smell of a cooking changeling. if the kitchenette oven can support the changeling volume

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