• Member Since 12th Apr, 2014
  • offline last seen Apr 12th, 2018

Pen Mightier


I proved my namesake in a duel of honour. The crayon never stood a chance.

T

Worrying about her appearance after being worn out by both her wedding and the crystal heart incident, Cadence attempts a simple changeling-based youth spell. She ends up with a little problem. She ends up little, as in a little filly. With the Crystal North's big Winter Wrap Up, the Equestrian Games and her own honeymoon coming up, this simply would not do. Fortunately Twilight has a solution. Unfortunately it involves getting the help of a particularly reluctant changeling escort in exchange for making him Cadence's personal student of Love.


Written to the lovely tune of Cadence, My Love Song by Matthew Mosier
Story Status: Pilot
Cover Art: You know, ponies weren't made to be drawn from the front. So awkward to draw!

Chapters (2)
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Comments ( 25 )

Great story so far can't wait for future chapters!:heart:

I haven't even read it yet, and I already know this is going to be GOOD. Thumbs and favorite! :rainbowkiss:

4753057 Thanks. XD I hope you actually do enjoy it. :twilightsheepish:


4753029 Thanks! I can't wait either. :twilightsmile:

"Princess! With the amount of foreplay needed and how pathetically impotent Shining Prick-More is, 4 hours simply isn't...."


for personal safety please do not mention that to shining or his sister ... although if it takes that long to function it should last a good while :rainbowlaugh:

I cant see Shining having those kind of problems. Also it would be funnier if he was too easy to "Excite". Constantly chasing down "Cadence" for some "Snuggling". :scootangel:

I saw the title and immediately thought of
"Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets"

Possibly my favorite versión of Cadence that you created. I enjoy her over-the-top interpretation of her duties as the Princess of Love and her habit of forcing Vex to do stuff he doesnt want to do.

Cadence's married life makes me laugh so hard. I also find Cadence's lack of self-esteem regarding gmher appearance to be hillarious.

Oh wow, 12 dislikes already. I don't know what went wrong. :derpyderp1: Oh well, freedom of opinions and the like. I guess I just can never write anything without attracting a ton of dislikes. :twilightsheepish:

4753584 Thanks. :twilightsmile:


4753728 Well, considering this is Vex's possibly biased opinion.... :raritywink:

Well, at least I hope it is, for Shining's sake. :twilightoops:


4754033 I made a few edits to make it clear it was more Vex's joking opinion than anything. :twilightsmile: Thanks for that.


4754979 Me too. :pinkiehappy:


4755229 Very descriptive title, isn't it? :twilightoops:


4756619 Thanks. :pinkiehappy: I'm glad you like my Cadence. She swings between over-the-top bouncing-off-the-walls as a filly to calm and collected as an adult, something I'm sure is going to be fun to make use of. I'm just wondering just how much she'd lapse in terms of decision-making ability as a filly.


4756661 I can't imagine anyone having an easy married life after what those two have been through. I mean, let's not even get started on the trust issues in the aftermath of the wedding. Then they get an entire empire to manage as a marriage gift.


4757158 Thanks for that. I think I didn't pull it off quite as effectively here. Ah well, I live and learn. :twilightsheepish:

4759020 Nah thats tottaly fine. Story is cool tho. Dont worry 12 dislikes pale in comparison to 52 likes.

So I think the biggest concern for me is that there's such a disjoint between this chapter and the previous one.

You can't rely on the description to provide all the information in the interim, you need to go out and write it. How does Cadence come across a changeling who can impersonate her, what's with the size changes, and all that other stuff.

Saying "it'll all be explained later" is a really bad thing to do. You need to lead into your story like a multi-course banquet. Readers need to see the salad and appetizers, so they can understand and enjoy the entree with all the proper conversation happening. Right here, you jumped straight into the middle of the meal, and the conversations make no sense because you have no context or understanding of what's being said.

I'd really recommend moving this particular chapter further from the prologue, and build up the story much more in between.

I don’t think you’re actually any kind of person, anymore. I am convinced that you are some kind of vic writing robot.

Answer me, Penbot! What is your mission?

Now that Twinkle is a bit more confident, let's work on articulation next.:rainbowlaugh:
queerandgay.files.wordpress.com/2013/08/eau-my.jpg

are we sure the shining would really find a problem with his wife being a filly ... she sounds extremely cute and wouldn't it be better then the mixed messages a doppelganger would be sending.

seriously its not as bad as being replaced by a chrysalis, why not tell him and work togather with him and twilight and save the day. ( plus shining might be more timely knowing for the periods she changes back that it could end soon ... that or check the laws to see if theirs some kind of precedence?)

I enjoyed seeing Twinkle Shine turn red during the entire chapter and watching Midnight misinterpreting every sentence of Twinkle's fate with Vex to be something dirty.

I was laughing so hard at this chapter :rainbowlaugh: But I do have to wonder how did Cadence meet Vex? :twilightsmile:

4759020 Hey, at least your like/dislike ratio is better than the ratios for my stories...

This is good. I look forward to more!

You're doing well dude, keep going. Already loving Vex's character.

My heart totally sank when I read poor Cadance's unfounded fear that her husband had lost interest so easily:fluttercry:

Ffffffffffffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!!!!!!!:flutterrage:
I kindly wait for the next chapter.:pinkiecrazy:

Uhm sir could I please have some more?
What was that, a peasant asking for more!
B-But sir I would very much enjoy more.
Well you shall have none from me!
I said I would very much ENJOY MORE!:flutterrage:
:raritydespair:Fine you may have more in the future.Filthy peasant.

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