• Member Since 6th Sep, 2012
  • offline last seen 23 minutes ago

The 24th Pegasus

Author of the Commander Hurricane series (A Song of Storms), co-founder of the Price of Loyalty universe, and overall world building fanatic. Join my discord!


When Fluttershy went to bed, she was a normal mare. When she woke up, she could see numbers floating over everypony's heads. They were timers, each one counting down to some unknown event. Most ponies had timers that wouldn't end for years, some for many decades. But everypony had different numbers.

So why does Rainbow Dash's timer end in three hours?

Editing provided by TheMaskedFerret and SolidFire.
Cover art by HopefulSparks!
Spanish translation by SPANIARD KIWI!

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 218 )

For some reason, I remembered the concept behind this music video which I last saw around ten years ago. Despite not remembering what song it came from, that concept translated into the story you just read.


I've read no less than 5 stories now, across 3 different fandoms using this same concept. D: I wondered if there was a movie or TV show It was referencing. FINALLY I know the source D:


There's also a series of three books with a similar title, Numb3rs, I believe in which the main character has the same ability.

Oh, ok. Well, that works too. REGARDLESS - SOURCE MATERIAL! :D


It looked like a timer, oddly enough, and it counted down. The numbers blurring by on the farthest right had to be fractions of a second, so the next number over had to be seconds, then minutes, and so on.

Hmm...I may not now stop watches at all. We have fractions of a second, then seconds, then minutes, then hours, then days, then years, but...there's another number at the end... :rainbowderp:

Regardless, it was a good story, though also kind of sad, knowing when someone is going to die is pretty creepy, but if you can prevent it in some way, that's quite nice, especially if you can only do it once. If that power always stuck with you, I can't imagine how messed up someone would end up over time. This was a good read. It is rather amusing to realize that Fluttershy has no way of knowing where the power went, despite learning the saved pony picks it up, I wonder what Twilight will think of all of this. :pinkiehappy:

There is always the power of the death note. Of course there if the Shinigami extends you life, it dies.

I was actually expecting Blossomforth to be dead when Flutters went to find her, which would have made for an interesting dilemna for Shy. Only change there would be she wouldn't have survived the encounter with the cloud.


The 24.07 is not 24 minutes and 7 seconds. It's 24.07 seconds. Or 24 seconds and 70 milliseconds.


The 24.07 is not 24 minutes and 7 seconds. It's 24.07 seconds. Or 24 seconds and 70 milliseconds.

Right, so we have: 57:6:22:13:48:24.07
.07 milliseconds
24 seconds
48 minutes
13 hours
22 days
6 years
and then what is the 57? :rainbowhuh:


We have fractions of a second, then seconds, then minutes, then hours, then days, then years,

I think the one you're forgetting is months, in between days and years.

Ah! thank you! Gotta admit, the description of it being like a stopwatch had me thrown off in general since I am pretty sure those don't track days, let alone months and years, but thank you for clearing that up. :twilightblush:

.07 miliseconds
24 seconds
48 Minuetes
13 hours
22 days
6 months
57 years , do you get it?

Well, that's a first for me. Never thought I would see a Nickleback music video inspire a mlp fanfiction. I will have to add this to my read later list.

Ooh, I loved this <3

So Flutters observed that the whole crowd could've died if Dash had set off the thunderbolt? Maybe then, the numbers went to a random crowd member?

Months are an irregular unit of time that are not a consistent number of the lower order, nor are they a logical segment of a higher order.
They have no place here.

Damn, I remember watching that video somewhere on youtube...


So Fluttershy is not rfc3339 compliant?

Lol Death Note

Say what you about about Nickelback (as so many have, so many times), but that video is just incredible.

(So ... shouldn't Rainbow Dash now be seeing numbers?)

It's funny, I literally just rewatched Minority Report like four hours ago, and now here you are with a story about predicting deaths.

then again, nor are years, with every fourth being a leap-years, or even seconds, with leap-seconds that happen every so often.

You know, I remembered the song and the music video from High School but I never remembered what is was, I always thought the concept is rather interesting.


Um... That's for OUR sun and moon.
Celestia likes her years to happen like ...clockwork. I doubt there are leap-years.

I'm trying to remember if a calendar shown in MLP ever showed different amount of days for a month. They could all be the same.


I hope Fluttershy and Blossomforth can talk to Twilight about this, eventually.

Leap days, or hours or seconds or whatever, only exist because we have to occasionally re-synchronize our artificial timekeeping with the natural world's cycles. It's not necessarily the case that this death clock has to do the same thing. A magical death clock might adjust its hours and seconds and days in synchronization with the natural world; however, months are a completely artificial construction that would require the magic death clock to refer back to the ideas of the ponies it's counting down on. Years could be counted in the natural world, though they wouldn't necessarily begin and end exactly on a day like the artificial year does. I wonder, is the death clock's year sidereal or tropical?

Not exactly. If Fluttershy saved multiple lives during the airshow, then theoretically any of them could inherit the "curse", if not all of them. Also remember that Fluttershy didn't start seeing numbers until the day after she was saved.

This... this is a true drama. Well done, an upvote and a faving.

”The numbers Mason! what do they MEAN?”

Very cool one-shot! It definitely had me engrossed... and now I’ve got a bad case of existential dread too. 😶

You hit that thunderhead and got electrocuted really badly.

OBJECTION! Fluttershy did NOT get 'electrocuted'! She got 'zapped'!
'Electrocution' comes from 'electric' and 'execution', and means 'killed by electricity'.
If Fluttershy was 'electrocuted', she would be dead. A smoking, lifeless corpse, not a severely-injured but still alive pony. There's a pretty significant difference between the two, and thus there's a significant difference between 'electrocuted' and 'zapped', or 'shocked'.

“That lightning bolt stopped your heart. You were actually kinda sorta clinically dead for a few minutes before we got it beating again.”

Oh, okay - Fluttershy really was 'electrocuted', then. Objection withdrawn.

Who's to say where the curse came from and how it was structured? It doesn't have to obey any specific time constructs, only the ones it was created to represent.

”The numbers Flutters! what do they MEAN?”

A cool word that applies here: electrify.


I remember seeing that video (I couldn't remember the song, either). IMO, one of the coolest videos ever. For your next story, I remember an old Zima commercial about some guys that accidently wandered into a world where no one had ever heard of beer.:pinkiegasp:


Glad I could help.


Thank you, I'll have to look into that story.

Coincidence or just plain rip-off? :pinkiecrazy: Naw just kidding :pinkiehappy:

As for the concept i remember seeing a movie where people didn't work for money but for time, people could get their life extended depending how rich they were allowing the rich to live almost forever. :pinkiegasp:

Come to think of it, Fluttershy was lucky the clock used pony numbers and pony time units.

Then somepony gets a Death Note and everything gets crazy! :trollestia:

“This shouldn’t have happened. If Crash—if Rainbow Dash had flown through that, she would’ve busted the thing open and gotten herself and a bunch of ponies on the ground killed. The show crew should’ve recognized that those weren’t static thunderheads when they received them before the routine. I don’t know what happened.”

The villain from "Unbreakable" mutters curses about meddling mares and slinks back into the shadows, deciding it'd be better to toy with Bruce Willis. :trollestia:

Really good idea for a story. Now RD has to deal with it. And what if someone with the numbers saved Fluttershy’s life? Does she get the numbers back? Do the numbers die out? What if the pony with the numbers saves two people, do they both get the numbers?
There is a lot of potential for more.

It's a timer, not a date.

Nickelback - Savin Me. Yeah? Love that and love this!

This time, as she re-embarked on her way back home, she made sure to keep watch for any falling objects that might just have her head as a target.

Maybe hang around Pinkie for a while, just in case. :ajsmug:

In the morning, Rainbow's in for a jolt of an entirely different kind. It'll be totally... (puts on sunglasses) shocking.:coolphoto:

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