• Member Since 17th Aug, 2015
  • offline last seen 21 minutes ago

BlueColton


Watched the show. Joined the herd. Ponies on the mind. Veteran fanfic writer.

T

When Apple Bloom goes missing, Applejack desperately searches for her missing sister. She finds Apple Bloom trapped inside a well. But what she pulls out may not be her sister at all.

Artwork provided by Glen Gorewood

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 52 )

Sadako just wants a pony to play with! :pinkiecrazy:

7484047 The image is from Ringu. But the story is based on a dream. I can't describe how disgusting the thing inside the well felt.

7484069 - The dream world can certainly be a dark and dangerous place. One of the scariest (or at least scariest-looking) monsters I've run into was some kind of small, rusty robotic dog with lots of knife-like teeth. Saw it at the bottom of the stairs in my grandmother's house. Glad it isn't real.

Wow, well done! Had me scared for a second, and how did Samara get in the MLP universe?! Very well written, and maybe after a few other projects get done, if I'm allowed, I can do a reading of this.

Wow just wow.
I want to create legitimate art for this, it's terrifying but inspiring, and the dream was probably more intense.

It kind of sounds like a Kelpie, they can imitate voices and sounds and take on all sorts of forms, trapped in a well I'd imagine it would adapt. The suction cup bite marks though, that sounds more like the Mhalla of Maltese folklore or a Gadajdu.
Don't google the last two if you don't want more nightmares.

Really good story, though I think Applejack will now be terrified of wells. :applejackunsure:

Holy Celestia, you're always so good at writing horror. I was genuinely creeped out and scared for Applejack during the story.

7484732 Not something I'd want to bump into . Have you written a story about it?
7484733 I'd consider it an honor. :yay:

7484939 The dream was terrifying. I was AJ, wandering the fields, and I came across this well where I head AB's voice coming from. I stuck my arm in to help her out and next thing I know I hear her behind me. I immediately try to pull my arm free, but something was holding onto it, something slimy. I woke up not long after, sweating. Feel free to create some artwork about this. If you do, I might use it as the cover this story!
7484988 You and me both!

7485248 - I haven't, though I did draw the beastly thing. I don't recall if I ever uploaded it to Deviantart though.

7485305 Thanks. As if I didn't have enough nightmares.

7485248 Then I will be sure to put it in my list of stories to narrate

7485563
My pleasure. I thought it was very applicable to the story.

Wow...
That was really good!

7486598 Much appreciated. Glad you liked it.

Deliciously dark. This is the sort of horror I drool over.

7492769 Hope you saved room for dessert :pinkiecrazy:

7492805
There's more? Oh goody *licks lips*

The horror's all the more intense as we're never shown exactly what was down that well.

7496635 They always give me chills. :fluttershysad:

Ooh, that was creepy. Your descriptions are amazing.

Well, might save this for Month of Macabre, but it's recorded, now just need VA's for this story, and I think I know some who would do it.

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

Hell of a dream! That was terrifying! :D

with vices crawling up its sides

This is one of a couple things I noticed; 'taunt' was another one.

Thunder bellowed. Like an invisible serpent, the wind hissed through the trees. What leaves still clung to the branches struggled to hold on. Many surrendered, the leaves torn violently from their boughs. It would be a fierce storm, they knew. Perhaps the wind would show them mercy by carrying them someplace safe.

I love the animalistic imagery here. You see, throughout the story, I feel like we didn't have to see the monster in the well because it's essence is implied in the way the environment is so violent around Applejack. I love this beginning and how it characterizes the storm as a threat that's personified against AJ. Very good start!

Tired. Terrified. Applejack went on.

I love the concise feel of this sequence of sentences. A lot of strength here in the writing! Your writing is fantastic :)

All these terrible notions scratched at the inside of Applejack’s head like raking talons.

I LOVE the animalistic personification! Oh my gosh so good! :D

She didn’t know how long she’d been running. It seemed like forever. Applejack had grown up with these trees. She knew every square inch of Sweet Apple Acres, knew every apple tree, every fence, every rock. Yet never before had the place she’d called home seem so alien to her. It’s as if she had stepped into some warped version of the farm. The trees were less bright, more menacing. There was less grass here. Even the air felt wrong.

I like this moment where Applejack is aware of being somewhere she's familiar with, but the horror of the situation (and perhaps some supernatural element) may be warping her perception to the point of putting her in an alien place. LOVE IT.

You do not belong here, the alien forest seemed to be saying to her. Leave, NOW!

I was wondering if there needed to be some italics on the words I changed to magenta.

It took AJ more than a minute to realize that she had lost her hat. She found it sprawled on the ground not five feet from her. It felt like losing a part of her body. Applejack quickly reattached that part of herself to her head. Whole again, the mare shook off that near-death experience and leaped over the fallen tree.

This bit of characterization for Applejack is just great. I enjoy seeing little things that identify her personality.

“Applejack?” The tiny voice replied. It sounded nearby and yet so far away. Hollow, as if an apparition of sound.

HINT HINT HINT I saw this as SERIOUS foreshadowing. And loved it. There are so many subtle ways you create this feelings of dread! I like it when the reader can go back and say "Oh look, there's the hints that this was going to happen!"

“Applejack?” As if the storm had suddenly ceased, a great silence pervaded the grove. The quiet was deafening. However, nothing surprised Applejack as much as the fact that her sister had spoken—from behind her.

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Good

I like the part that details how the storm subsides. It's almost like Apple Bloom's presence disturbs some ancient spell that was changing everything. Or...was it all in AJ's mind?

The struggle went on for several agonizing minutes. The pain was unbearable. Applejack surged with all her earth pony might, her sister doing the same. But try as they might, they couldn’t free her arm from the thing’s grasp. It seemed they were at a stalemate, but whereas the ponies would soon tire, the thing below showed no signs of letting up.

I'm amazed it lasted for several minutes. But any living creature fighting for its life can do some amazing things. Evolution did not breed creatures to give up so quickly. Also, AJ is a BEAST when it comes to strength, so this is like a test of a lifetime's worth of hard work. Her work ethic LITERALLY saved her life here. And I like how that's implied.

Author's Note:

Based on a dream I had. Unfortunately, I was Applejack.

This is what you get after listening to too many MLP fanfics on Youtube over the weekend.

That's a DANG good use of a dream!

Upvoting, faving and loving it! You're a wonderful horror writer! :D *hugs*

It's the month of the Ween! Time for all of us horror writers to write as much spoop as possible! :D *hugs*

FANTASTIC job!

[reads comments]

Ditto.

This is exactly the kind of horror fanfic I was looking forward to reading this October.

Had a similar dream to this once. I never wrote it into a story. I'm not a good writer and couldn't do it justice.

What was in my dream was Twilight trying to pull Spike out of a hole in the ground. There were strange wards around it she didn't recognize. Then she heard Spike behind her. But it was too late as she had helped -it- get loose.

She grabbed Spike and ran. If anyone wants to know what -it- was it was Alex Mercer.

Odd, this sounds like a dream I had...






I was the well

Aaand another good one in my long night of scary-fic reading :ajsmug:

Good job!

Nice story. I was Applejack.

7697888 I was the thing IN the well... heha. :pinkiecrazy:

Based on a dream I had. Unfortunately, I was Applejack.

Woah...I know that feel man.

I had a dream once where I watched Tirek rape and butcher the Mane Six. I couldn't do anything either :ajsleepy:. I was under some sort of paralysis spell. The scariest part was after he was done with them, he turned to me. Luckily I woke up, but it was 2am. Long story short I didn't want to go back to sleep...

To this day (this happened last year) I can still hear the screams *shudders* I have no idea what the heck was wrong with me that night...



A good but brief horror story. And I'm very happy the protagonists survived.

Pretty sure her LEG would be torn off. Ponies dont have arms silly :DD

7484732 makes me glad i don't have nightmares...

Well, well, well.

Mom, is that you? :derpyderp1:

Hope Big Mac has another boulder he can spare to cover that hole...

7697888
Do tell how that went.

Did it go well for you? :scootangel:

Sequel to Let Fluttershy In?

8989094
Nope. Stand alone

This is incredible, really scary story!

9219972
Thanks glad you liked it

Reminds me of the comic "His Face All Red"

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