• Member Since 5th May, 2015
  • offline last seen Saturday

Jarvy Jared

Taking a break from FIMFic. But if you've somehow found yourself on my page, I hope you enjoy your time here!


Something dark and horrifying is found wandering the outskirts of Sweet Apple Acres. Applejack goes to investigate, but what will the discovery reveal?

A Halloween story. Pre-read by ShyNight.
Now with a reading by Crafty Arts!

Now with a Russian translation by Nuclear-pony-Jack and Randy1974

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 18 )

Ooooh, a good horror shot. A little to the short side/fast-paced for my liking, but I suppose that just says I did like it. 'tis the season to be screamin'

'Tis the season to be screamin'
Fa la la la laaaaaa, la la la DIE!

So.....AJ was killed by the creature and has now become a part of it?

It's a nice break from a lot of the other stories I've read, with very long paragraphs. Focuses more on dialogue that allows the story to roll on more smoothly. Very vivid description of the eyes. Did the colors have a deeper meaning?

6582588 Well the creature is sort of a personification of the Devil, what with Halloween being originally considered a satanic ritual. And Applejack more or less has become possessedsed by the creature. This also coincides with an old belief that on Halloween, demons and devils could possess you.

6591184 From an old Christian standpoint, paganism is related to anything satanic. (An example of this is the poem Beowulf and its Christian/Pagan molding)

Read as a result of being in the 'I Just Want A Comment' Group. Be sure to pay it forward.

Given the whole initial scene with Applejack talking about her parents' eyes, I was hoping it would really pay off in the end. It didn't really feel like a satisfying payoff, however, even with the implication that Granny Smith, losing her eyesight, is thus able to see the dead better than the living.

Other than that, it's noticeable that Applejack is basically your average horror film teenager, actively pursuing the creature when it appears on both occasions. The second time is definitely foolhardy, making no attempts prior to research the creature, and then running off alone after it.

There's a little bit of fridge horror in realising that whatever the monster is, it appears to be an unending curse, where the creature attacks a pony, that pony either becomes the creature or an 'offspring' of sorts. I prefer the former where the pony directly becomes the new essence of the same creature, in a sort of unbroken line.

The real question is, when Applejack stumbles into the forest in the pursuit of that creature, is she already dead? I notice you are very coy about not giving a single defining detail about the pony the creature is eating as far as colour, subspecies, gender or size. Is it another pony the creature is eating, and Applejack is its second victim of the night, or is AJ already dead and a spectre and what she is seeing is her own body, the monster already feasting on it?

It’s features were somehow more clear here.

Its, not It's


The real question is, when Applejack stumbles into the forest in the pursuit of that creature, is she already dead?

I think I'll leave that up to the reader's interpretation. :ajsmug:

I'll fix the grammar error in a second.

*groan* I hate bad endings. And I still have no idea who that monster is.

6643065 Like... the ending was terribly written, or just that the ending was not a happy ending?

6643922 I meant the latter. It was written well, I give you that. I just HATE non-happy endings.

Author Interviewer

Not bad, though this could definitely use a Gore tag. c.c;



Wow... :derpyderp2: That's quite the enthusiastic response! I'm glad you liked it!

As to the question you ask: I guess because I haven't done a whole lot of promoting with this story. Never really wanted to. It was a horror piece I wrote as an experiment, but one that I didn't particularly feel needed a whole lot of attention in order to justify its existence. It's a happy accident that you should have stumbled upon it and liked it so much, so thank you for stopping by!


Your stories are the epitome of underrated gems.

Either you have a lot of promotion you need to catch up on... or this site has gone loco. Because your fics are GOOD.

Well, it did take me a bit to "find my groove" and figure out how I wanted to write these things. But I'm glad you find them so desirable!

So it appears to those who are to be next and Winona can see it because animals can see otherworld things?

That was the gist of it, from what I can remember. It's been a while since I wrote this story so some of the finer details escape my notice.

It’s ok.

Where Applejack is going to take you, you won’t need eyes to see.

Login or register to comment