• Member Since 5th May, 2015
  • offline last seen 3 hours ago

Jarvy Jared


Reader. Reviewer. Writer. Also now script co-writer and musician for the fan project, Elements of Justice.

E

Invited to a special six-performer poetry slam competition, Maud Pie hopes that she'll be able to share her writing with an excited and accepting audience, and possibly even win. But when an old acquaintance, whose talent is specifically tailored for the creation of poetry, throws her confidence into disarray, doubts begin to settle in Maud's heart.

Will Maud be able to overcome her fears and perform? Or will she choke before the first line is uttered?


Won first place in the A Change of Pace Competition. Pre-read graciously by Nailah and applezombi.

Featured 10/20 and 10/21!

Chapters (4)
Comments ( 21 )

I like it when Maud smiles

10491449
It definitely is one of my favorite smiles in the show. :twilightsmile:

10491451
Especially coming from a pony who’s mostly just emotionless

I really wished that Maud would have won first, but good story

I liked the variety of creatures in the audience!

10491469
The writer who tries doesn't always win, but in some respects, in trying, they have won the only thing that matters. I'm glad you enjoyed!

10491752
Thank you, I did, as well! :twilightsmile:

Beautifully written! Wonderful message about being confident in your own method as well, do I spot your inner reviewer showing through with this story? Haha :derpytongue2:

Also your writing style is very poetic and I love it :pinkiehappy:

10491891
I think that's a fair assessment! This story does seem to have arisen out of some of my thoughts in the reviewing process, but inevitably about writing in general. I guess that's just the thematic motif I tend to shoot for with these stories - an assessment of deeply personal things.

Glad you enjoyed! :raritywink:

Glad to see that someone other than me has posted a Change of Pace entry.

I like how this fanfic plays into Maud's less talked-about traits.

What a wonderful story! I loved the message of making something that's true to you, even if it may not look like it's going to be a 'winner'. I especially enjoyed Maud's poem. So simple yet so beautiful, so powerful. Keep up the good work!

10492842
Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed! (And I also enjoyed writing Maud's poem, and though it took a bit to get it to sound right, I think it's definitely something she'd write for herself.) :raritywink:

"The lights brightened again, and as the first poet trotted up to the platform, Maud knew that the Poetry Slam had begun."

So did everybody else present who wasn't a rock, and probably at least one rock.

Not bad, but I'm a little bit confused about the premise. If the poem for the contest was submitted in advance, why is Maud even bringing other poems? If it was submitted in advance, how would revisions be permitted? And wouldn't the judges already have a copy? In fact, wouldn't there be programs or something with it printed, especially since this is apparently a prestigious contest?

Also, I'm a bit disappointed that only Maud's substitute poem gets any quotation. Having the effect of the poems described to us isn't as satisfying as experiencing it for ourselves. That said, good poetry is damn hard, so it's perfectly understandable to limit the range. It might have been better to have had Starlight and Trixie discussing their impressions of the other poets' works to begin the intermission scene, to give the descriptions a little more immediacy and context.

10493817
Hey, thank you for your comment! I agree that the description of the other poems wouldn't have been as strong as having the poems written in actuality. Unfortunately due to certain constraints of the contest, I felt I had to compensate by having that kind of description instead. What I wanted to do with that was have Maud connect the poems to herself, to show that poetry isn't a bunch of fancy words, but the experience of remembering something you haven't remembered in a while, or ever.

I understand the other criticisms, too. If I had a little more maneuvering room (and probably about 2000 more words allowed) I would have developed and addressed them a lot better than I did here. I did try, however, to bring them up and make them relevant: Maud says, in Stanza 2, that she brought extra poems because she liked having them close. That ended up aiding her in the end when she found herself without poems. Revisions would not be permitted, technically - that was a lie on Elegy's part. As for if the poems would have copies in pamphlets - not exactly? The judges would have copies, of course - that's part of the RSVP process. But because this was more performance than poetry sharing, the rest of the audience would not know what the poets were bringing. That, I admit, is not a strong reason in and of itself, but word constraints and chapter breaks meant I had to sacrifice the full development. I apologize for that.

But thank you, again, for your feedback! :raritywink:

Very nice and quite in-character.

10496536
Thank you! I'm glad you felt it did Maud justice. :raritywink:

10524314
I left a comment on the review itself, but I also want to extend my gratitude here, as well. :raritywink:

Hello hello.

As you know, this story won first place in the Change of Pace contest. It placed very highly for most of the judges, and I think the main reason for this was how well the story handled the restrictions of the challenge. Whilst other stories often struggled with pacing or dealing with the breaks, either dragging on or needing to pad the story in places, this story very well handled the set-up of the story, illustrated the conflict, built on that set-up, and then provided a meaningful conclusion within those restrictions without them really ever being noticed.

Some of us were less than inspired by the content of the story itself, and I'd be lying if I said that I myself was terribly invested in Maud and her poetry (I don't actually like poems), but by managing the restrictions of the contest well it allowed what was enjoyable about the story to shine quite well, particularly compared to other stories that might grab our attention more, but were hampered by other issues.

The writing and tone were very close to that of the show, which whilst not a requirement to win, was a big talking point amongst the judges and was of particular interest to myself, since the show pacing was what I based the contest off of. I think if there were a quibble I had it'd be Maud's voice... obviously getting her internal monologue was important, but it at times felt at odds with her demure and at times emotionless attitude in the show. I felt that the conclusion was strong and the conflict was also well presented.

The contest itself was quite hard; very few stories didn't have noticeable issues that arose from the strict length requirements and break points, but because this was one of the few stories that managed these restrictions well, I think it allowed the story to position itself compared to its competitors very favourably and that, I think, is to this story's credit.

10560156
I'm glad you were able to comment! I recognize that, as a standalone story, this one has a few clinks to the mix. In part that's just because of the nature of the contest, but I must express some desire to have found a way to overcome the limits and still tell a fully realized story. As such, some things had to be sacrificed for want of going over the word counts, though I did try my best not to hurt the story more than necessary.

Maud being Maud, it was hard to write her as a protagonist without having to give her something more to get people to root for her. Which is why I essentially made her a bit more "emotive". It was a rather necessary addition to her character that made the story move, and while, yes, it's different, I hope I was at least able to convince the reader to follow along all the same.

I recognize that the conceit of poetry is difficult to get people to engage with in storytelling, so I appreciate you still giving the story a chance. I had a lot of fun with this contest, though! And I honestly think it helped me come up with something as well-realized as this - I knew this story from beginning to end almost immediately upon conception, which is rarely ever the case for me.

Login or register to comment