• Member Since 1st Nov, 2016
  • offline last seen March 27th

BrittyFIM


Inquisitive? ask away! I may write about dark and depressing stuff most the time, but i'm all in for a good cute story. Profile pic by Freckleplant

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Rainbow Dash and Scootaloo are on an outing when Rainbow Dash decides to show Scootaloo her favorite spot. This happens to be a giant hole in the ground that seemingly has no bottom. What happens however, when Rainbow dives into it, only to not resurface.

A Grimdark tale I hope you enjoy.

Cover art: Children who Chase Lost Voices

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 11 )

NOOOO!!! RIANBOW!!! YOU KILLED SQUIRT!!! YOU BASTARD!!!

Very well done!

I loved the mystery aspect of this and wondering all the while along with Scootaloo whether Rainbow Dash was going to be okay. To me, the main part of this story is the moment of truth for Scootaloo where she decides to do something to save her friend and idol. It's heartwarming and heartbreaking at the same time that her bravery and loyalty (of all things, considering Rainbow Dash's element) caused her potential death.

The ending where Rainbow Dash comes up out of the Abyss is heartbreaking and just saddening. It is a great ending, where irony leaves a very strong impact. Poor Scootaloo.

Fav and liked!

8543130
Thank You for your thoughts, I am happy you enjoyed it. :heart:

Weak and ordinary. There is a lot of works with the same idea done better than this, the plot doesn’t feel exciting or thrilling or whatsoever, and numerous typos also don’t help the story.

Damn, I was expecting a monster like the well story I read, but that was even better. It reminded me of that short story by RL Stine, actually.

Oh, oh... just... No! No no no.
That was dark despite its length. I don't exactly see it as horror so much as just thriller (most classify horror as the bloody stuff), but the suspense build up was good and that ending was depressing. The errors in writing were noticeable but it didn't throw off the story too much.

10014982
You failed to understand true terror true terror doesn't have to be a monster it can be simply not knowing that is why HP Lovecraft stories are so interesting you failed to understand that and you failed to understand the simplicity of just nothing or better yet something ordinary like this

11053430
You seriously compare this to Lovecraft? :trollestia:

11053470
It played on your fears of the unknown it made you wonder if it was just a large chasm or hole or was it something worse and then when rainbow dash didn't come back you wondered what could have happened to her it played on all these emotions and then the big reveal is that it's just the a hole but the tragedy is scootaroo just jumped to her death one could say that it is a story of that kind because it plays on your fears of the unknown even if it isn't truly one

everytime I hear the word "abyss" I'm reminded of a little girl and her boy robot.

i'm just going to go cry in a corner now

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