Since she was a filly, Twilight Sparkle has sought to solve one of the greatest magical mysteries in Equestria's history.
Now, with the help of her very own student, she might be able to do just that.
But so concerned is she by the thought that she can so something, she never stops to consider whether she should...
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A small bit of horror strongly inspired by the works of H.P. Lovecraft and Robert Bloch.
Creepy. I like it.
Ooooh, the description says "Lovecraft". Love me some Cthulu.
Reading now. Expect a funny comment somewhere below this one where I wonder why I made this decision.
THIRTEEN!!!
if
Also, you refer to both Ludwig Prance and Ludwing Prance. Pick one.
You are very clearly good at writing horror.
Silly Twilight. Exploring alien and unimaginable realms without adequate protection? That's what grad students are for.
Ooh, Lovecraft meets Persona. Or maybe Persona took that extra hour concept from the Mythos, I don't know. Nice and creepy either way.
7266136 Thank you, for the typos and praise equally.
Ahh, good old Lovecraftian horror. Always a fun time!
I also like how Starlight breaks the fourth wall and speaks directly to us, the audience, at the end.
A very well-written story sir!
> it was trying to remember it's purpose!
its*
Also, if you unplug everything electronic, it gets so quiet you hear that high-pitched empty-room hum.
And then the whispers begin.
Well if you think this is scary play SILENT HILL the game that dose the following
•MAKE
•YOU
•SHIT
•YOUR
•PANTS
I hate it when good writing gets ignored for the sake of a tag.
7269389 A rephrasing of that would make an awesome opening line.
this was a pretty interesting read. been a while since i read something like this.
I really liked this. You did a good job emulating that creeping horror reminiscing of Lovecraft's works.
However, I do feel that the story could have benefitted from having a bit more buildup regarding Twilight's visions while in the Thirteenth Hour. I'm reminded of how Danforth and William Dyer spent quite a while learning about the star-headed creatures that inhabited the ruins of the Antartic mountain ranges before the climax of the story, bringing forth a sense of dread in the reader that keeps building up as they see their understanding of the world crumble in front of them.
For someone as rational and of a scientific mind as Twilight, getting to see their knowledge of reality be challenged by this new information could present some truly chilling moments.
Still, as it stands you did an excellent job. The story still managed to be thoroughly entertaining and creepy.
7319604 I was going for less of a 'Mountains of Madness' feel and more towards 'Statement of Randolph Carter' feel.
Glad you liked it!
I liked it.
to the fans their is a reading now of it https://youtu.be/qVFu8PisP9g
I'll give you points for effort and care, but the whole thing fell apart for me mainly because I've been reading Lovecraft for decades. So, for me, it was "cute".
But for those of you out there who haven't read decades of Lovecraft, Bloch, Derleth, Smith, and the rest of them, if you liked this, you really should go try the authors who inspired this work. This piece has a lot of the feel of those that came before it. You wont be disappointed.
To the author of this work, please don't take my words as negative criticism. Please do write more.
I've always been fascinated by Lovecraft's nightmarish vision of otherworldly beings of such power and antiquity that they dwarf human reasoning. I would have enjoyed a more vivid description of the world Twilight saw. Perhaps more?
Have a like and an induction into my Dark stories. I can't wait to listen to the reading!
Ending totally made this. Dang.
This was an absolutely FANTASTIC story of otherworldly horror in a way that would fit perfectly alongside Howard Philips Lovecraft and Robert Bloch! :D
Here are my favorite moments:
I adore when moments of implied worldbuilding occur like it did here. You briefly mention several other things Starlight had found, which allows the reader to wonder about them long after Starlight has already moved on to the next item. In this type of story, where the unknown equals horror, these moments of implication really add a lot of color and create this subconscious baseline of unease that permeates the rest of the story as it builds over time.
Wow. That is a heck of a thing to find when you are a filly. I'd imagine that kind of discovery would permanently change a person. Or pony.
I love it when these descriptions talk about how such a horror works, because even then, EVEN knowing the basic process, that is still not enough to scratch the surface of the unknown horror. This whole concept is absolutely enthralling. It's a perfect setup so that Twilight can see something that Starlight will be unable to see.
Yeah from this moment on, I felt I knew the type of horror we would experience. The kind that involved Twilight narrating what she was seeing, which detaches the reader a bit from the nightmare that she sees. That doesn't make the expected any less terrifying. :D
This was such a sad serene moment because it is doomed to be short-lived and in false hope.
I LOVE this. The fact that you don't skimp on detailing the other realm is wonderful and a welcome addition to the horror of the unknown where the reader is left to come up with most of it in their imagination. No, here, the excursion is scholarly, so of course Twilight would detail everything she sees as a Lovecraftian Doomed Protagonist would.
And now we have the nameless something calling forth to Twilight. Little by little, you build the tension and you take your time, which is highly respectful and results in an even stronger reveal of nightmarish violence at the end.
AH the classic Lovecraftian freakout while the mind breaks and spouts as much forbidden knowledge as it can! This isn't even the horror itself! It's the precursor.
THIS...THIS moment is the one that got me. I took my time imagining this extremely foul image and how this something began to control Twilight's body as the portal between worlds. Utterly nightmarish in its twisting desire to live.
Starlight acted quickly and in one of the only ways one often can in a doomed horror scenario: by sacrificing the damned.
FANTASTIC STORY! Wonderful ending! Beautifully, horrifically written!
Fav'd and upvoted! Wow, what an experience! :D
Woah. This is good. Is there a sequel?
This was great :O High on the creep score and I like the one-sided approach you took to it - it may be like looking into a mirror, but you don't know what's on the other side.
What have we learned today? That the angry mob of Villagers was right in burning someone at the stake for once, and you shouldn't finish the research of an evil sorcerer.
Here you go! Loved this piece!
https://youtu.be/6luNXGuchaw
I... I...
What is this tight feeling in my chest?
Ooh, that's some quality Lovecraftian horror. Glad I finally read this. Thank you for it.
"He" probably refers to Prance, but what is "her"? An interesting interpretation I came up with is that her refers to Princess Cadence, who is secretly an eldritch horror and he refers to Shining Armor, who is helping Cadence.
9687240
It was, ah, a typo. Should've been 'here.'
9687371
Thanks for replying!
Will this get a sequel?
9827629
More a sister story. Here you go; https://www.fimfiction.net/story/422945/the-abyss-gazes-also
Well, when Twilight destroyed her once most precious thing, Starlight took her time to figure non-obvious way to hurt her the most and returned with revenge. That thing has just been stupid enough to kill Starlight's most precious (and at this moment likely only) friend. Guess who's actually scary monster here and who's going to die very slowly and screaming.
this ones been on my read later for so long despite how short it is, but i finally got around to it
when the setup kicked in it reminded me so much of the hounds of tindalos that i half expected them to show up. twilight and starlight are both time travellers, after all...
Very creepy and very enjoyable.
This story is like an impossible three-way love child between At the Mountains of Madness, Cool Air, and Statement of Randolph Carter.
Pretty good, all be told.
The title seems familiar. . . Like it comes from a mod from HoI4. . . I can't seem to put my finger on it.
Amazing writing. Shivering in my chair.