• Member Since 29th Jan, 2012
  • offline last seen Last Sunday

Chengar Qordath

I write lots and lots of horse words; everything from comedy to drama. If you like what I write, please support me on Patreon.


Rainbow Dash struggles to figure out why Pinkie Pie keeps acting weird, and seems so happy about spending Hearts and Hooves with hanging out with her, while also puzzling over the fact that Cloud Kicker and Blossomforth seem to be going out of their way to help the two of them enjoy the day.

Cloud Kicker and Blossomforth need to have their own tags, because they're awesome characters who deserve to have more stories written about them.

Has a semi-sequel-follow-up-side-story:"The Life and Times of a Winning Pony."

Chapters (2)
Comments ( 418 )

Somehow, Cloud Kicker and Blossomforth really managed to steal the show in terms of what I enjoyed writing. To heck with RainbowPie, Cloud Kicker/Blossomforth is my new OTP.

In fact, I will e-mail cupcakes to the first person who writes a good Cloud Kicker/Blossomforth story. Pinkie Promise.


But srs now, that was amazing.

Rainbow needs a buck to the head.:twilightangry2:

It would be very, very difficult to have a more anti-climactic ending. I think it's possible in theory, but... Given how great the lead-up was, I'm somewhat sad it had to end so abruptly. It was a good joke... For a scene transition. Not for ending the whole thing with.

That was -really- good. Except for the ending, I suppose. That was so abrupt... But everything else was really good :pinkiehappy::rainbowkiss:


Umm... It's not all that bad, really. This is probably one of the better-written fics. So many stories I've read were just unreadable, this one is actually good. Sure it has mistakes. Every story has mistakes. Maybe this one has more mistakes than you would like. But I didn't ever feel like stopping with reading it because of grammar. It wasn't 'obstructive to reading', if you know what I mean.

So I can see where you're coming from, but if grammar is not distracting from reading, then, to be honest, I don't care all that much. It's only when it becomes annoying, that I will stand up and say ''no''.

That was so beautiful, spike came to feature it.


RAINBOW YOU DENSE IDIOT:twilightangry2::twilightangry2::twilightangry2::twilightangry2::twilightangry2::twilightangry2::twilightangry2::twilightangry2::twilightangry2::twilightangry2:

I really enjoyed the story I was laughing a good portion of it. Now I'm horrible at looking for grammar mistakes, so I can't back you up/help you there but I have always let that slide a bit more when it comes to 1st person narratives. I mean, what person thinks in perfect grammar, minus Twilight probably. To have a story told from a person's mind is much harder to pull off well. I really have no doubt that's how Rainbow would react, and I love how you tied it to the CMC's mishap with the stealing a rainbow's glow.

This is probably THE BEST clueless Rainbow Dash fic i have ever seen! And I dont care what others might think, the abrupt ending just makes it. Seriously. :pinkiecrazy:

580652 yes, I agree with you. This fic WAS somewhat readable, unlike many other ones, whcih were simply devastating (I respect people's efforts, but really... If you're unsure about your own writing skills, then don't write!)

Recieving sceptical criticism from experienced writers/editors can, and will help authors improve their writing :twilightsmile:


I'm working on a writing of my own; as well as proofreading other people's stories. I know how hard it can be to write an entire story while following all the grammatical rules, let alone find them all when proofreading :pinkiecrazy:

I burst out cackling maniaclly more times than I could count, and at least a few of those - particualrily Rarity's brief spotlight and one or two of the double entendres - turned it right up to a bout of rib crackling coughing. Didn't notice a single grammatical error, but I never do - the old brain carefully filters them out first (can be a pain, as I'm a fellow writer).
The sudden turn for raciness was well managed and kept teasing and light hearted. For a potrayal of Rainbow Dash whose mind could be used to block gamma rays, everybody felt very much in character. Her idiot ball didn't seem forced - she just genuinely had this two and that two, and didn't think to put them together at all. :rainbowderp:
An immensly funny story with supring emotional range considering what it set out to do - Pinkie Pie felt very right and the situation reminded me explicityly of The Fool and Fitz' relationship for anyone who knows Robin Hobb (for those who don't, This is high praise). The ending felt the tiniest bit like it could've been more epiphanic... an epilogue would not be out of the question.
:yay: for Cloud Kicker and Blossomforth, and a :yay: for you in writing this.

580902 didn't notice a single grammatical error? Are you retarded? Lmfao...

"Celestia forbid there’s a single cloud out of place messing up somepony’s perfect romantic sunrise, sunset, moonlit night, or whatever."

No really, she actually has forbidden it. Three days dungeon for any weatherpony who lets a cloud get past her on H&H day. :trollestia:

“I like weird but fun.” Pinkie commented idly.

I bet you do, Pinkie. I bet you do. :pinkiehappy:

Oh my gosh this is exactly how I figure Rainbow's brain would work. All of her monologue was totally in character.


Rarity's and Applejack's date and Cloud Kicker and Blossomforth trying to play cupid really sealed the deal for me on this fiction. You've earned a favorite and a like from me.

A quick aside to Roker999... I can't tell if you're trolling or if I'm blind. If there are any grammatical errors - which I'm half sure there aren't - I'm honestly chalking them up to Rainbow Dash being the narrator. And as for spelling errors... honestly, I enjoyed the story too much and never noticed them.

So, I know there have been some people asking for a bit of an epilogue/continuation. To be honest though, I'm not seeing what there is to add; the central issue of the story has been resolved. After missing some of the most obvious hints ever, Rainbow Dash finally gets it. At the time I was writing, that seemed like the best place to end it.

I figure the signs of jealousy Rainbow showed when she thought Pinkie liked someone else make what happens as far as her future with Pinkie obvious. If it's what people want though, I can add on a bit to show Rainbow and Pinkie making things official.

If everpony was iffy on their writing skills nopony would ever write.......

This was an awesome story! I'm normally not much of a PinkieDash fan, but this was great! Everyone was in character and I loved Rainbow's cluelessness. I actually liked the ending, even if people think it was abrupt. It seems right to end it there, though I wouldn't be opposed to an epilogue if you chose to write one. And grammar errors? I honestly didn't notice any. I don't think they matter if I don't get snagged on them repeatedly (sadly some fics with otherwise interesting premises get ruined because of this) Overall, awesome job! :pinkiehappy:

There is never a good reason not to have PinkieDash makeouts.

Now this was a good PinkieDash story. It's got some great humor, character interaction and even a somewhat sad moment or two. Rainbow got a massive idiot ball, of course, but she remained in character all the way through, and to be honest I myself would probably be very reluctant to pick up on hints that my best friend was hitting on me as well, if only because it's something you don't really expect to happen.

One thing that did "annoy" me slightly was the large role you gave Derpy. To me, Derpy is just the most prominent of the background ponies, a tool through which the creators show their appreciation. Making her such an important person to Rainbow feels a bit strange. A lot of people really seem to like Derpy, though, so it may just be me.

This sentence stood out to me:

"I like Pinkie and all, sometimes I needed a break from her. She’s my best friend and all, but too much time around her will drive a pony crazy."

There's nothing wrong with it, per se, it's just that seeing that "and all" construction twice in a row is a bit jarring.

As for whether or not you should write a sequel.. Well, I certainly wouldn't mind it. A good PinkieDash story is always welcome and you've shown you're good at writing it. On the other hand, if a story it's finished, it's finished. No sense in writing another chapter if you don't feel there's any need for it.

Anyway nice fic I didn't see anything bad. Godspeed and goodluck.

oh My GOD!!! That was great!:rainbowkiss:
Oblivious Dash is best Dash. The whole thing is solid, just great through out. Awesome ending, Also, gotta love the chapter title.

"Right. More than I wanted to know about Cloud Kicker’s love life. "

Dash is READING MY BRAIN. :pinkiegasp:

Ok, I want to make this pretty clear: I'm not into Pinkie/Dash shipping. However, my brother recommended this story to me because I like Cloud Kicker and Blossomforth (I really hadn't thought of them as a pair until now, but I do find it an interesting possibility; personally I'm interested in finding out what happened at Cloudchaser and Flitter's double-date :twilightblush:).

Overall, I thought the characterization was excellent and the story was entertaining. I found myself enjoying it very much. Thanks! :twilightsmile::twilightsmile::twilightsmile:

"And maybe finally today, I’ll have a bit of luck
We’ll lie down somewhere comfortable, and then we’ll … Oh hi there Derpy!”
Was she about to say what I thought she was about to say?

Ending is great. No, really, it works. :yay:

Another fan of Cloud Kicker and Blossomforth is always welcome. I'm seriously considering a in-the-same-continuity story focused on those two; like I said in my top comment, they really grew on me while I was writing the story.

I'm pretty sure the next bit of the song was "have a party." What did you think Pinkie was going to sing?

Got rid of the doubled phrase.

As for Derpy, I see her as a friend of Rainbow's, but not a super-close one (certainly not on the level of any of the Mand 6). Probably helps that Derpy is a bit hapless, and Rainbow has a big protective streak.

If it's any consolation, I'll provide this special message from Cloud Kicker about what happens next in the story:

Hmmm, a couple of times i read "we'll bang okay" in shepard's voice. Either way reference or no, entertaining story.

580626 Try reading 'Sweetie's Mansion' - you'd have a field-day.
Stop the hate 'n' shoo. Shoo!


Awesome. Really want more Cloud Kicker and Blossomforth - you're right, they did steal the show.


They were obviously going to feed some ducks.

Thanks! I'd read that story. :twilightsmile:

I's also like a definite answer to the question that has everybody wondering: Do Cloud Kicker and Blossomforth get those shift manager positions?

Excellent story! Felt real sorry for Pinkie there; all she wanted to do was get through to Dash and it was like banging her head on a wall. I liked the little hints that Dash liked Pinkie too: not only the jealousy thing, but Dash agreeing to walk with Pinkie (despite just thinking how pointless walks were; it seems that spending time with Pinkie overcomes that pointlessness). Also note that Dash's first thought was that Pinkie *should* have wings notably *before* remembering that it would be annoying (ie. that Pinkie should have the ability to spend more time with her if she wanted). Rainbow simply can't seem to connect these things in her head to figure out how she feels. Thanks for sharing this! :pinkiehappy::rainbowlaugh:


Yeah, they do. I'm doing some tentative story planning for the Cloud Kicker and Blossomforth focused follow-up story, and it starts with Cloud Kicker dragging Blossomforth out for a night on the town to celebrate their promotions.

Wow. Just wow. Awesome story, and and believe me, the best RainbowPie I have read. You must submit it to Equestria Daily. Also, epiloge would be nice.


Well, considering Cloud Kicker also used the "I had reach, she had flexibility" line, I must have had Mass Effect on the brain while writing this.

It was interesting to read a story like this that was shown from the clueless lovers side. It was done spectacularly, showing Dash's though progress through the whole thing and how she keeps fooling herself Into not seeing the truth when it's right in front of her. I'm betting she's got a new perspective on the Rarity-AJ situation.

The idea was to include hints that the feeling might be mutual, without making it seem too obvious.After all, even Rainbow would notice if she started drooling and getting a wingboner every time Pinkie was in her line of sight.

Yeah, being in Rainbow's head for all her obliviousness does give an interesting perspective on the classic oblivious to love premise.

586490 Oh, please do! I laughed so hard at this.

Whoa, that ending really came out of nowhere. If you're going to set up a romantic couple like that you should probably try to drop a couple hints before hand instead of throwing it in at the last second :derpytongue2:

Yeah, Cloudkicker and Blossomforth are pretty awesome. I couldn't believe they HADN'T slept together


I laughed my ass off at the ending, so hard I actually fell out of my chair.
Never really had much interest in Cloudkicker or Blossomforth before, heck I couldn't even tell'em apart from other background ponies but after this story I might keep an eye out for more stories with the two in.

HAHA! Mildy amusing...

Also, "Hey Blossom! I’ve got reach, and you’ve got flexibility." Mass Effect reference? Much approval. :ajsmug:

This short story was a ton of fun to read, and I had a good few laughs with it. It was hilarious to read about Raindow Dash just missing All the signs. Poor Pinkie, how much more obvious can she get at that point? (Don't answer that!)

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