• Member Since 15th Aug, 2015
  • offline last seen January 16th


Human. Writer. Bearded. Feel free to chat with me.


All Rarity wanted to do was mourn the loss of her friend. Twilight Sparkle's ghost has made this a rather difficult thing to accomplish. Good thing Rarity's in denial about the spirit following her around.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 92 )

Let me favorite this right here and now, as I can already tell it'll be a masterpiece.

Saw this in the new stories, super cute!
Now to shamelessly signal boost it~

that last line WAS TOO PERFECT

Not bad. The story is nice, needed a bit more comedy.
There is only two things that strike me that could make it better.
1- A reason why the others would not help Rarity. Or Rarity not seeking their help. I get this is a love thing, but you know- Friends through thick and thin and all that. Even Pinkie helped Twilight sneak into the library at night. Could lead into more comedy hijinks.
2. It would be nice to make fun of the dead spirit. Like, why hyperventilate if she doesn't even breathe.

I think what would have made this story is if Rarity sat on the kitchen floor and ate an entire chocolate pie for at least 2,000 words.

It's a good story, but the resolution at the end was just too abrupt and neat.

There would have to be some kind of consequence for using necromancy, Twilight herself said that the magic was too easy, but it's still banned. There has to be a reason for it.

It's just too... Mary-Sue-ish?

please tell me there are other stories like this but longer (character dies and proceeds to haunt another character type thing)

Comment posted by Gavier deleted Dec 1st, 2017

Huhh... And here I was thinking the last scene, while Twilight and Rarity were embracing and crying, would involve Princess Celestia calling for the help to come to the library and remove the two dead ponies.

“He’s not going to fall for this. That looks nothing like my hoofwriting.” Twilight slapped a hoof against her forehead.
“Everything looks to be okay, here.” The guard passed the notecard back to Rarity,

:ajbemused: Why am I not surprised?

Huh. I thought for sure Twilight's "body" was going to end up actually being crushed raspberries and Twilight will have somehow just accidentally phased herself.

...Poor Spike :pinkiesick:

Dark comedy is my favorite comedy.

This story was Amazing!

Sooo... why is that spell illegal/what is Rarity being punished for?

It seems to have resurrected one of the rulers of Equestria after her untimely death with absolutely no downsides or side-effects. Why would Celestia not be on board with trying it?
Sure, Twilight mentioned there's a risk of becoming a soul-devouring wraith, but that doesn't happen so long as you think positive happy thoughts, and even if that does happen you just perform it in a summoning circle or something and immediately kill/banish/exorcise it if it's evil. Then you're back to where you started, the person is still dead, but no-one else is either. Whereas if it succeeds, as it did here, you save a life. (Not-to-mention, a very importantlife as well.)

But it's also a comedy one-shot, so the logic doesn't really matter either way.

I cackled like a maniac through all of this! This is brilliant! kind a want more, but I don’t even know how a sequel would even work in this case. Might be best just to keep this as is. Thank you for making my evening you wonderful wonderful person!

It's necromancy. Generally speaking, messing with corpses is frowned upon in most magical cultures.

“Tell her to stop doing things with Trixie in my castle!” Twilight hissed. “The thought of Trixie being intimate in my home is...” She shuddered visibly.

"Veronica! Tell them to stop touching my stuff! Veronica!"

TBH the abrupt change in attitude- especially in front of Celestia, makes me feel like Rarity fucked up the spell.

Then again, two of her closest friends had recently discovered her fanfiction about them, and Celestia walked in on one talking about the *things* she'd do to Twilight, so...


Because it's what Twilight does. She's still in denial at that point anyways.


Honestly? It seems to be easy to cast, and also easy to foul up. Slipping into a negative thought will create an incredibly dangerous wraith monster which is apparently not easy to stop.

Not to mention you can't just have people bringing people back to life willy-nilly. Everyone'd be doing it. Everyday life'd turn into a high-level D&D game. If you have money, you can pay a unicorn to bring you back to life every time you die. Business paradigms would shift to allow for this because 2/3rds of the country can't cast spells and in that third probably only another fraction can cast spells beyond the most simple. So you'd get wage mages with a controlling interest in the financial structure of the nation simply because people will do most anything and pay anything to bring their loved ones back to life.

It'd just mess everything up, really, and goes against the natural order. Being that Equestria is meant to be based on the idea of harmony, upsetting things with disharmonious magic is probably strongly forbidden for a very good reason not addressed in this story. Who knows, maybe each dark magic spell cast erodes away at the Tree of Harmony, or saps a bit of joy out of the world... could be anything.

Remember, just because we don't see someone talk about it in the story doesn't mean we know everything. The characters are just as likely not to know everything themselves.


MY problem with the story came not from the necromancy, that was fine. It was using Celestia as what amounts to an unfeeling antagonist. The whole funerary thing at all was silly - she's one of the nation's rulers, she should be laying in state, guarded, body already repaired and ready for viewing. Ceremonies being prepared for, and it should be happening in Canterlot.

But mainly that Celestia is just written to be such a cold bitch here, when she's spent a thousand years as the chief diplomat of a nation. She knows how to deal with ponies, especially ones who are her friends. Hell she can easily fake it if she has to, Luna was the Element of Honesty, not Celestia. For that matter, Celestia was Magic, Generosity, and Kindness. I realize this is a comedy story, but these were not humorous elements of the story.


Why is unlicensed nuclear fission illegal? It produces vast amounts of power with very little waste, right?

But what if it goes wrong? Then an entire city dies. What downside are we given for the use of the spell? Soul-eating undead monstrosity. That's uh. Pretty significant. Celestia probably only allowed Rarity to cast the spell because she was there to put the corpse down if it didn't work.

Nothing said they're easy to kill/banish, and all it takes is one fuck up and hundreds could die.


Yeah, the ripple effects would be incalculable if death was no longer the end, however, it's not unlike an argument I remember hearing/reading about immortality: "If an individual were capable of making people/everyone immortal, should they?"

The argument I'm remembering says: "Yes, they should."
Because, while the negative ramifications could be huge, they are only a possibility, compared to (assuming no afterlife, eternal souls, etc.) the guaranteed complete loss of every living person in very short order.
By refusing immortality to everyone, you guarantee the current system remains; flaws, faults and all. Whereas taking the leap could lead to pretty much the same thing, something worse, or something better. Given that the current existence is; Life --> Nothingness, nothing/not many things could be worse than complete dissolution and permanent death, so the risk is worth it. (Again, assumes no afterlife, resurrection, re-incarnation, etc. just Final Death.)

Possibly bad future is better than no future. One can change, grow, and improve. The other is the absolute end of all past, current, and future experience.

And yeah, I agree with your points regarding Celestia and her behavior, not very logical for her character, and not really adding to the comedy either.

I did still like and enjoy the story greatly, btw.

“I can’t believe them! I’m not even buried and they’re already fornicating in my castle!” Twilight fumed. “Rarity, do something!”

My. Friggin’. Sides.

This whole thing was hilarious from start to finish. Poor Spike, though, having to clean up that mess.

You know, I like this story-it's kinda funny and the dynamic between Rarity and Twilight really works, but I'm bothered by Celestia here.

She's barely more than mildly happy Twilight's back, and has a spell she knows works to revive the dead lying around in the archives...

I feel like the entire thought of having a working resurrection spell-and not even one that's incredibly difficult-is entirely glossed over, as well as Celestia basically outlawing something that could radically alter society. There's no reason even given for why the spell is forbidden beyond it's forbidden.

You get an upvote just for the Author's Note.


Why is unlicensed nuclear fission illegal?

UNLICENSED. That is the point. You CAN resurrect people. It's CRIMINAL to not do it. It can go wrong, ok, then you put in place system to AVOID it going wrong.

I was expecting some sort of gut punch sad ending. I'm glad that didn't happen.

That was hilarious. I about died on the Castle Fornication line...omg :rainbowlaugh:


Okay, who do you bring back? What qualifications do you put on it? Remember, not every pony has a unicorn friend capable of casting the spell. How do you ensure that the mages tasked with casting the spell never fuck up and get eaten? I hear thats a major safety issue. Once the spell becomes common knowledge, having tonbe used frequently, how do you prevent it from falling into public knowledge and someone in mourning using it on a cat and getting themselves and a hundred other people killed?

The same way you avoid getting people killed by stupid chemical reactions.
It can't be TOO easy else people left and right would have rediscovered it quite easily, so it has to be taught and as the ONLY copy is in Celestia archives you can keep a TIGHT control on WHO knows how to cast it. Not exceedingly difficult for the return...

To be fair, fission power takes semi rare and government restricted materials to achieve as well as a large area and a large group of people to build after having gained the know how. Necromancy, as twilight pointed out, is really easy for one person with relatively average magical ability to do once learned and is easily turned disasterous simply by being in the wrong emotional state.

Regulation of such a power should be better protected even than it is currently in the story to even really stop the threat, not to mention how much more privileged the information would need to be to ensure licensed necromancers would be trustworthy enough to not get corrupted by dark magic's power or let slip the nature of the spell.

Or... you can build your own nuclear reactor in your garden...

That was a lot more comedic than I expected and I loved it.

forget hoofcuffs, use ropes.

Well uh...

hehehe I wonder what they did for 10 min......

oh god I feel bad for spike,
first he loose his mom/sister/boss, then he has to pick her part up, only to have said mom/sister/boss come back and is now date his crush....... I feel like he going to need a lot of therapy....

Via that loophole I'm formally issuing a request to be known as the greatest comedian.

Granted, on the condition that you face anyone else vying for the title in arena combat. The weapon of choice is sporks.

A true man's fight.

This is alright, but you could've done a lot more with it once Rarity knew for sure that Twilight wasn't a hallucination. The way it jumps from her figuring that out to the library and bringing Twilight back to life... it just feels like a missed opportunity, and skips a lot of what needed to happen even as stated in the story, from them figuring out where to go, debating bringing her back at all (which might've also dissuaded some of the arguing down here in the comments,) seeing the remains again and stealing them, Rarity copying, or trying to copy Twilight's signature, to the actual train ride there where Rarity could've been talking to Twi by accident in a public place and looking crazy, to even entering the palace itself. All points where you could've added in some more comedy, some more discussion between the two, furthered their relationship or fleshed it out.

Considering he irradiated the local area and never achieved the goal of a fully operational reactor, I'd say my point still stands. It's much harder to attempt so you can better track and monitor people doing it. Necromancy seems to be much easier to achieve and much harder to track so the knowledge itself needs to be guarded.

Ooh, actually some good points here. But the biggest missed opportunity is the lack of neck romancing jokes at the end.

These are some really good points. I'm sad to say I didn't think of them while writing.

From the bottom to the top.

Okay I don't get the last line. They did something really intimate?

Other then that, really the only thing I have a problem with is we don't get to see everyone find out Twilight is still alive. Or Twilight yell at Starlight and Trixie for 'things'

Bucking great! I’ve never seen a mixture of genres like this before. My only difficulties with the story are the lack of the rest of the main 6, and super bitch Celestia. Her callousness about twilight’s death, and her apparent switch from punishing monarch, to whatever she decided seemed off in particular. Conversely, Twilight and Rarity are very believable to me. I can totally see Twilight being abblivious about her own death and Rarity being in denial. Very well done.

I must say, that was a good read.

I’m sure Twi and Rares will have an interesting rehabilitation that night.

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