• Member Since 14th Aug, 2014
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CategoricalGrant


"I haven't seen a bigger waste of talent since Dan Marino." -Roselucky Seven; Want to support me?

Sequels1

T

Spike has been spending a lot of time with Flitter, a local pony in town who is (at best) an acquaintance of the Mane 6. Rarity sees this and launches straight into action, enlisting Twilight Sparkle's aid in getting to the bottom of Flitter's intentions with her dear Spikey-Wikey.

Teen Rating for some suggestive passages.

Beautiful Cover Art by the generous Blackflash, and vectored/edited by the splendiferous CaioCoia!

EDIT: Featured 9/21/16! Thanks so much!
EDIT: Hit 4k views 10/7/16- Most successful story so far. I'm glad people enjoyed it!

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 155 )

Did you read a fic that had this... Well, to be blunt, the same premise, except it was much darker?

7580573 I don't recall doing so, although I guess the premise of jealousy is fairly common.

7580575

Well, TheCamel wrote a fic that really went with this and made it pretty damn dark. To be honest, it was actually pretty fucking good.

7580573

I believe that this is the story that you were referring to. The story is Broken Hearts and Diamonds by TheCamel. It's a M-rated story, so I can't link to it, but you should be able to find it.

And yeah, it it definitely much darker, compared to this. Though personally, it seemed that that story was getting into Netorare territory with a side of crazy psycopath mixed in.

7580667

It's against site rules to link mature stuff; thanks for bringing it to light though.

Also, it was more Yandere territory for me.

7580668

Well in hindsight, I should have PM you the title, but didn't think linking the story was a no-no, I guess that was still in NSFW territory even though it would just be referring from one M-rated story to another.

Mods: It's a honest ::derpytongue2: on my part. Won't happen again. :twilightsmile:

EDIT: I see what I did, I made that link, and this story is a T-rated story, not a M-rated story. I'm changing the mistake now. The previous comment will have been changed so there's no link. Thanks again Shadow of the Night for the heads up.

Goodness, I loved this all the way through.

I had an inkling of that ending coming along. Glad to see i was right, story is good though really liked it.

7580714
7580860 Thank you both so much, I'm glad that you enjoyed!

I couldn't help but say "geeeEEEt REEEKKKKRT BIIIIIITCH" towards rarity at the end part, loved that scene

The ending was quite the surprise tho :rainbowderp::pinkiecrazy:

There are some interesting concepts, and I think Twilight is Sorta borderline in a freak out which stretches but doesn't break her character... but I think when Spike was chewing out Rarity his vernacular suddenly got uncharacteristically dense... also it's basically canon that Spike doesn't notice Rarity doesn't take him seriously.

It's not like I think it's impossible for Spike to call people out like that at the end, but I think it wouldn't be with an advanced vocabulary, or in the exact manner he did where it seems like he suddenly has a great grasp and authority in the situation...

I think I would have also appreciated if the end wasn't a bunch of ship teases, either.

This has to be a trollfic.

You have to make harem sequel this story just calls for it!

I didn't take Cloudchaser for a stalker.

7581241 That's just it when it comes to stalkers: If you're good enough, nopony suspects a thing...

7580957 Hey if you write a good story of course i'll like it.

It kinda reminds me to a story TheCamel wrote.

But the story on itself was rather good! (I fucking love that lovable Flittler)

The only part I'm going to bitch about is the part Spike rekts Rarity. It's...out of character from the Spike you build up in the rest of the story. Plus I don't really feel Rarity really understands what she did and what she has done to Spike thus far.

Still, I'm faving the shit out of this story. Great job!

So rarity was jealous yet she had that kind of dreams and toughts

Wait ohhh...

How deep after all rarity was the one with the bad intentions :rainbowderp:

7581013 why do you say that?

Oh shit! plot twist!

That ending was NOT WHAT I EXPECTED AT ALL....




...Bravo. Complete 180 at the end...The pony that was actually crushing on Spike is the pony that is exactly in the middle if Flitter is one extreme and Rarity is the other extreme.

But in a way, Cloudchaser's a bit extreme as well. I wonder how Princess Celestia handles it? Got to have Mom's opinion after all...:rainbowwild:

I can tell without reading it that it's a piece of dredge that you never should've wasted your goddamn time on.

7581730 Yet somehow, it still got featured.

Get rekt, BOI.

That plotwist at the end...:moustache:

What was up with Spike towards the end there? So eloquent and harsh. I was expecting it to turn out he was Discord all along or something.

That Was Amazing truly, Hope theirs sequel :twilightsmile: :heart:

7581262 Yeah bro, i was thinking the same thing. The story you're thinking of is Broken Scales and Diamonds or something like that, right? Pretty close in idea, but this one is much less disturbing, lol.

On another note, cool story, my friend! Not the best I've read, but definitely not the worst.

Sup
Sup #31 · Sep 21st, 2016 · · ·

Screw Rarity and her bitchiness. Team Flitter and Cloudchaser all the way!

Holy shit, spike is a fucking savage

7582529 Screw Rarity! Sparity has been done to death. Go Flitter x Spike team!

Rarity, Flitter, and Cloudchaser?!? Why not invite the Dragon Lady to pick up business?!!?

7581549

This has to be the most incosistent fic i have ever read. One second it's serious and another it's just a joke. Either the author had moodswings as much as a rollercoaster or he is just fucking with us. Either way this is not a well written story at all.

7580667

Oh come now, it wasn't THAT dark, was it?

I mean, it could have been worse, right? :twilightblush:

Spike is the new Illusive Man; always planning one step ahead

7582759

:rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh: This is why I love your stories, still do love them...

But seriously, when I saw this at first, the thing on my mind was a T-rated version of your classic. I had to comment, and it looks like a few others noticed it as well. still threw me for a loop where it was revealed that Cloudchaser was the one that was stalking Spike, not either Rarity nor Flitter. That and apparently Spike metaphorically putting his foot down on Rarity, we don't see that more often, which is refreshing and awesome.

Believe, me, I doubt that there would be better stories in that netorare genre than would be close to Broken Hearts and Diamonds. But that's just my opinion, and it's biased because I loved the Sparity hints in there even when ultimately that didn't come to pass.

Ha! This was an interesting story!
Good work Granty!

Well that was unexpected...

7582793 "Do not ruin my plans, Commander Fluttershy. I won't warn you again."

Ho ma gawd I didn't expect that ending though with cloud, wow. Touché on that spin, I applaud this, it's a good story, and I wouldn't mind seeing a sequel or anything if you feel it wouldn't ruin the story.:trollestia::moustache:

Thanks a lot! Now I picture Cloudchaser as Helga from "Hey Arnold!"

cdn.hitfix.com/photos/6039099/shrine_by_speedlimit_infinity-d30ywik_article_story_large.jpg

Well done. Got a few good laughs out of it.

7583289 OH MY GOSH!
Thank you so, so much! No one has ever made art for me before without me paying them X)
I'm going to make that the new cover picture!

Now this was a great fic! Revealing the seriousness of Spike's feelings and how good intentions to awry. Based on these few days, Flitter has treated Spike with more affection and care than all the time Rarity ever showed Spike. Still undecided on where I ship him, but I've always had a soft spot for the twins.

7583347 You're welcome ;3 ... keep up the good work. im a sucker for sparity fics.

Well that ended on a very interesting note. Good job!
Spike Swag is up, and it's turning mares on!:moustache::trollestia:

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