• Member Since 14th Aug, 2014
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"I haven't seen a bigger waste of talent since Dan Marino." -Lucky Seven; Want to support me?


During the course of a sleepover at Ponyville Castle, it is revealed that neither Twilight nor any of her friends have ever kissed a stallion. Things quickly get competitive, and soon Spike, the only male within striking distance, is forced to run for his life.

EDIT: WOW! Already featured only a few hours after publishing 6/20/17! Thank you all!

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 114 )

You know, for what I read of the description, that was a surprisingly good read. Nice job.

Liked for cover pic.

Also for funny story.

But dat cover pic tho.

Damn RD's a bitch.

“Oh girls~,” a melodic voice called from the foyer outside.

Easily the best paragraph I've read on this site in this whole month.

“Yeah,” Starlight huffed, alone in the darkness. “Because THAT’S what I meant…”

Damn, good thing she's already in her crying closet. I wonder if RD'll be there when she comes out of the closet...

‘Princess Celestia’s butt’

I hope this list isn't for you too. I'd love to read a story about Celestia's' butt.

Hahahaha! Dashie called Starlight a lesbian for Trixie!:rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:

Pretty silly story! I wish Spike could have gotten his dream kiss from Rarity though.:raritywink:




I'm really glad you all enjoyed. Thank you for your praise, I hope I'm worthy of it!

Ha! I enjoyed this a lot. Well done.

Thanks so much for the follow- I'm glad you liked it!

I'd love to see more of this! :rainbowlaugh:

This is so awesom!!

Please please do a Cuddle war sequel!

Thanks for putting a smile on my face this morning.


“Oh girls~,” a melodic voice called from the foyer outside. The door was pushed inward, revealing a small dragon in a pink-trimmed apron carrying a heavy, overflowing tray of goodies. “I wanted to show you all how much I trust and care about you all,” Spike said sweetly, placing the tray down and wiping his not-ugly face with a scaled arm. “Obviously we’ve been really good friends forever, and I’d do anything for you guys! So I made you a few pots of fresh tea with accompanying cream, sugar, lemon, and honey, as well as an assortment of freshly baked treats!”

You glorious bastard, that was so smooth. :rainbowlaugh:

done reading.
my mind is now...

I am smooth and tannic, like a finely aged Tempranillo.

Twist ending, Spike is gay! Also can we get a prequel to explain how and why he kissed Trixie?

Oh my! Fluttershy has hypnotic powers! :pinkiegasp:

Great story! It's a well deserved feature, and hands down the best story I've read this week. You nailed Starlight Glimmer's character/dialogue to a T, and the others too! :twilightsmile: Awesome job, keep it up!:yay:

Geoice #19 · Jun 20th, 2017 · · 3 ·

*Writes down on a blank note pad*

I demand a sequel!

I'm so glad I got the characterization right- thanks, I'm glad you enjoyed!

Twilight and her friends learn that none of them have ever kissed anypony and are immediately engaged in a race to be the first one to kiss Spike.

Technically, even if you kiss Spike, you still haven't kissed ANY PONY. You just kissed a dragon. So it's got to be said you did a DRAKE job with the description there, buddy.

Once upon a time Trixie offered Spike a bag full of gems from when she worked at the rock farm, and he kissed her.

The end.

Damn it not again!:applejackconfused:
run Spike run:moustache:

Imma smiling!

:raritywink: neener neener neener I kissed Spikey first
:pinkiesmile: right before and right after he became a giant beasty dragon
:rainbowlaugh: cheeky kisses don't count!
:ajsmug: lips to lips
:moustache: as you wish milady the usual ?
:unsuresweetie: yeah they share the spoon too

Oh, this is hilarious!


“No exceptions allowed,” Twilight told Rainbow, bringing out a notepad and a quill with her magic as she settled onto the couch next to Rarity. “It’s going on the ‘banned conversations’ list along with ‘Princess Celestia’s butt’, ‘necromancy’, ‘Doe v. Wade’, ‘getting into the drug business’, and ‘developing rabbits for use as a bioweapon’.

I'm very confused and concerned.

So....question: Can I kiss you? :rainbowkiss: :twilightblush:

And that is why... Starlight is the new mane character.:trollestia:

Starlight Glimmer is a f**king genius.

That is all.


Have not read yet and hit the End key to avoid comments, but just going by picture and title all I have to say is this.
Run, Spike, RUN!!!
(Will oet you know what I though after reading)

OK that was funny, might just add a feel good laugh shelf in my bookcase.

it's just like my harem animes.

I loved this story, it was rather hilarious, but I also feel really bad for spike. He was given no respect for his feelings and even when starlight "protected" him, she still took advantage of him. Additionally Twilight punishing him and demeaning him because she didn't get her way seemed a bit harsh on the dude. Don't get me wrong, I did thoroughly enjoy this, but my soul would feel better if there was a sequel made where the seven of them truly made it up to spike. Twilight especially

That was cute! Thanks for the laughs!

Good fun story

I mean, okay.

Good on ya, Spike 👌

That synopsis doesn't sound creepy at all. A bunch of adults want to kiss a child when he clearly doesn't want it.

People really like shipping adults with children, don't they?

That is, if you consider the ponies to be *adults* and Spike to be a *child*. In my mind it's a little more like an old teen/young teen thing.

Yes a sequel where each of the girls gets a kiss from Spike and it soon devolves into somehow the whole town wanting to lock lips with Spike

Suppose it's up to interpretation, as there's no real confirmation of what age he is.

Since he kissed Trixie, that means he must be no longer a virgin with somepony else.

That was fun.:moustache:

Funny little story. Nice work man
The Glimz always Winz

Wow. Why the hell can't girls run after me like that?

I got 10 bits that it would be Moondancer.:moustache:

My grin didn't leave my face till the end. Excellent story!

:rainbowlaugh:You never kissed someone before! I kiss like, a dozen a day!
:twilightoops:Uh no
:pinkiegasp:I will kiss Spike!
:ajsleepy:No Pinkie. Ah will
:raritydespair:SPIKE! DARLING COME HERE!
:twilightangry2:I raised you! Give me a kiss Spike!
:moustache:Oh no...
Sorry Spike!

By far one of the most hilarious stories I've read on Fimfiction:rainbowlaugh:

“Huh?” Rainbow Dash asked, jerking her head up as she heard her name. “Oh! Oh yeah, I’ve kissed like, tons of stallions. I mean, I’m super attractive, so I’ve had to bat them off me all my life, but it’s gotten, like, really, super bad ever since I became a Wonderbolt. Yeah…I kiss like, a dozen a day, at least.”

“You kiss twelve stallions a day?” Twilight asked with a hint of revulsion.

“Wait, a dozen means twelve?” Rainbow Dash asked in return, cocking her head in confusion.


“But that’s not even all!” she continued. “This would all be forgivable if you were doing this out of infatuation; but you weren’t! This whole thing was some sort of sick competition between you, where you just USED Spike without any regard for his feelings. Trust me, I know what it’s like to be in your horseshoes, but you need to stop this now if you still value Spike’s friendship, and start treating him like an individual who deserves respect and independence.”

Some sighing was heard, followed by some embarrassed, mumbled apologies and shameful glances.

“It’s okay guys,” Spike said, waving a claw dismissively. “It’s all good. You know I’d never stop being your friend.”

“See guys, now everything’s back to normal,” Starlight said, leaning down and planting her lips firmly on Spike’s for several seconds before pulling away and covering her mouth with a hoof. “Tastes like you had a few of those treats before you brought them to us, Spike,” she giggled.

Every other mouth in the room dropped and hung open as Starlight nonchalantly continued on.

“Okay, now let’s all go back and hang out with the knowledge that I got my first kiss before any of you,” Starlight chirped, trotting by the group and around the corner back to the den.

Starlight, you.....you...sassy, awesome b:pinkiecrazy:tch

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