• Member Since 14th Aug, 2014
  • offline last seen 4 hours ago

CategoricalGrant


"I haven't seen a bigger waste of talent since Dan Marino." -Roselucky Seven

T

For years, Pinkie Pie has helped the Cakes raise money for a charity that benefits orphaned foals; and this year, Pinkie is running a kissing booth! Rarity joins her old friend to help run it, but her notoriously fragile self-perception is grievously injured in the process when nopony seems to want to kiss her.

Why in Equestria won't anypony kiss Rarity!? Something is going on...

Sparity shipping story with gratuitous Raripie friendshipping on the side.

Cover art by Probablydnon.

EDIT: Made non-mature featured list on 7/10/18! Hooray!

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 52 )
mrk
mrk #1 · July 9th · · ·

Devious. You know, Spike can have self respect without being all manipulative.

Bro. I died laughing at the end!!!!

Great Story CGrant, and Thanks for the Cameo!!!
Also for anyone who was wondering I was the dark gray royal guard who was probably not supposed to be standing in line for a kissing booth.

“When you save the Crystal Empire you can cut to the front of the line too,” Pinkie Pie quickly answered

so does helping to save the ponies of Equestria not count or is due to the fact that it was not this timeline's Cloudy Arrow that did it.
(more on that here: https://www.fimfiction.net/story/405389/a-true-mother)
also wheres the dark tag???

On the one hoof, I want to frown and have something done between Rarity and Spike to address the outstanding ethical problem with what occurred. On the other claw however, I want to laugh and cheer for the humor involved. Thanks for writing!

9033651
Thank you :D
Don't worry, they'll work things out! Friendship is Magic!

Ahem! Why is this rated s*x? 0_0 :applejackconfused:

9033679
No actual sex, but there is a makeout scene. I tend to err on the side of caution so I don't get in trouble :)

Hillbe #8 · July 9th · · ·

:facehoof: :pinkiehappy::twilightoops::moustache::raritywink:
:rainbowlaugh: and that's how Spike caught the unicorn flu.
:moustache: Worth every boogger filed sneeze

Is the Sex tag necessary ?

While good Spike and Rarity moments are rare, the Sex tag almost threw me off.

Romance tag? sure.
Sex tag? For kissing booths? Out of place and will draw in or turn away readers for something that is not there.

9033852
I debated whether or not to slap it on and ended up doing so just for safety's sake.

Great work.

This was interesting and funny for sure. I am kinda pissed at Spike since he pretty much negged Rarity into kissing him. And negging is one of the most shitty fucked up things a guy can do. So Spike DOES lose some points with me there for sure. The Starlight thing makes light of it so you don't think too much on it but is was still kinda of a messed up thing to do. But it was funny so that kind of works out. I would love to see more Sparity things from you in the future for sure.

Starlight's end response was perfect.

apathy is the death

Shut up Kreia! You're not my mom!

9034637
Haha! Someone got it! :3

Pinkie Pie’s eyes narrowed. Slowly, she leaned in toward Rarity, stopping only when their muzzles bumped into each other. “Rarity.”

Rarity glanced around awkwardly. “Uhm...yes, dear?”

Let them eat cake

Wouldn't be surprised if Spike's draconic greed had some unspoken role in all of this. After all, Rarity is like a precious gem that Spike treasures, and everypony knows that stealing a dragon's treasure is a near-suicidal idea.

Yeah, I was going to say absolutely adorable, but I have to agree with 9033875 here on this. Spike pretty much bullying all the other guys into not kissing Rarity just so he could have his chance? I don't even find it funny in the slightest, actually considering how messed up it is. That's just plain jackass behavior. Sorry Rares, but I really think you should choose someone else in Ponyville.

He's been working this game for 8 seasons. You better believe he's gonna lock it down any way he can. I don't exactly approve of how he did it, that last little exchange with Starlight highlights that, but still. Sparity forever!

I want this to happen!

9034675
Hey CGrant,
what video game were you referencing?
also wheres the dark tag?
sincerely,
Cloudy Arrow

9035039
It’s a great line from Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic 2: The Sith Lords

This story was a sick read. I loved how you could feel Spike's action in the story and how Light he was in his planning of the situation. And starlight at the end was a good cap off.

9034854
Won't happen. Unless you believe Rarity a pedophile.

9035422 :ajbemused: Of course not. When he's older.

Spike you crafty little shit.:trollestia:

Dafuq did I just read?:rainbowhuh:

9036069
Glory Incarnate.

I'm so proud of you!!!!

I may have downvoted this story, but Starlight's line reminded me of this:

freefall.purrsia.com/ff1700/fc01698.png

And here was I, thinking that the Spa in Sparity standed for Sparkle.


A good laugh nontheless

“ RARITY! ” Pinkie Pie cried from the megaphone, causing the assailant to break the wet kiss and jolt away from Spike. “ THIS IS A FAMILY-FRIENDLY EVENT! ”

My thought exactly :rainbowlaugh:

Still, very good story though! Rarity is best pony!:raritywink:

9035042
WooHoo this Story got featured!!!!:yay:

9037641
Hey, good catch! Looks like it made the non-mature featured list!

A single zebra, clearly from out of town, glanced around for a moment before taking two steps out of line. He was quickly pulled back into the primary line by his tail, where the pony behind him surreptitiously drew his hoof across his throat in a friendly warning.

That's me:moustache:

* I see the ending*
Whaaaaa? :derpyderp2:

Bonus chapter of Rarity picking up with Spike where they left off.

9042832
PLEASE DO THAT!

I love Sparity. I want more of it.

Might have liked it if not for the indirect negging.

We're all proud of you, Spike.

Good story!:moustache:

I love this!
It's funny and memorable! Great story!

9042832
I want a continuation where Rarity finds out what Spike did and fucking drops him.

I'm neutral towards Sparity, but I fucking hate this kind of emotional manipulation.

9035042
I might be checking this game out

9131803
You'll never stop playing it if you start!

9034830

I would agree with you there. Not only was it wrong and not funny to bully those stallions into not kissing Rarity, but it was also detrimental to Rarity herself and is not like Spike at all to do that. He would not ruin her stability to have a kiss. It sets a bad precedent for people reading Sparity I suppose.

I know it is likely meant to be taken as a joke story and there is a threshold to how much I can laugh at, meaning until feelings or emotions are hurt, yet this is definitely in the realms of not humorous. I was not laughing or chuckling at this once I realized what was going on. He even manipulates Twilight at the end. I had a feeling that I would not enjoy this story prior to reading it with the description.

It is unfortunate, since the premise was interesting. If Spike had innocent intentions, yet was too afraid or too busy to ask to have a kiss from the proper lady, with her secretly hoping all of the way through it that he would ask, that would have been a lovely read. Hmm, I may have to look into writing that myself.

9142695
Yeah, definitely not feeling the love as it were from this story.

Okay, this story.

Forgive me, I am not attempting to be mean or hurtful, yet I must type my mind onto the page. This is likely the first story that I have ever disliked, yet I wished to actually give feedback and explain myself rather than disliking and leaving. That helps even less than fashioning a review of this sort.

I enjoyed the premise, let us be clear on that; it was a humorous idea and even was funny until the moment that Spike walked by that first time. Even so, I felt bad for Rarity when no one ever approached her. Yet then it clicked. I had a feeling even prior to beginning this tale that it would entail a negative representation of Spike; which I believe would never exist. He would never manipulate anyone into doing such a thing, could not; it is against his nature as a Ponyville raised dragon, and I realize that it is a comedy story. Very well, fair enough; yet there is a threshold. No matter the context, there is always a boundary, and bullying and manipulation firmly places such a tale in a bad light to me. It is not comedy anymore if a character is harmed in anyway, where the one who hurt that character is not reprimanded. He is, in fact, praised; which is also out of character for Starlight, I believe.

I usually avoid these types of stories since I know how I will feel at the end, so I am not surprised that this is the first negative review that I am writing. Yet this was Sparity, my favorite pairing, so I was hopeful since the premise was entertaining and the picture was quite cute as well. Again, I apologize if this upsets you; it brings me no joy to write something like this seeing as I am also a writer, but I must type something to explain myself.

Now, I was hoping for a tale where Spike was simply too nervous to approach the mare for a kiss the entire time, meanwhile Rarity was becoming more and more upset that no one was approaching her and also secretly wished that Spike might show up once; the true kiss that she cared about. Instead, we have Spike completely out of character, harming the one that he loves to have a kiss from her, never mind Twilight and the other stallions of Ponyville. That isn't humor to me. It sets a bad precedent for people reading Sparity and lends people who hate it to simply hate it more fuel to say that this pairing doesn't work, that I suppose is another reason for this.

Probably what else had me hopeful was recalling a picture that I saw of a similar scene; however, it had Rarity alone at the kissing booth with a hoof to her heart and a rouge tint to her cheeks while gazing at Spike, who was leaning on the booth with a bag full to bursting with bits. I was desiring something like that or what I eluded to above.

Regardless, I apologize once again for this unkind message and the length of it also; I feel bad, but I cannot leave it with or without a like. Don't allow this to discourage you, because this story was well written and funny in many ways, especially where Pinkie and her megaphone were concerned. Granted, Rarity smothering Spike with kisses at the end also garnered a giggle from me. On a brighter note, have you ever noticed how the top left letters of this comment box at the bottom spells Blusht? I wonder if that was intentional.

Oh pfft, I would have gone up to Rarity; disregard this Spike. It would be entirely worth it. xD

Hot dang, Spike is one messed up malicious, manipulating mastermind, oh well, both he and Rarity got one sloppy happy ending out of it so all is good........besides from all those poor messed up stallions.

Eeyup. I can totally see Spike doing that. Lol.

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