• Member Since 19th Mar, 2014
  • offline last seen 1 hour ago

King of Beggars

One of these days we'll form a union, and get the fair and equitable treatment we deserve. Then we'll go too far, and become corrupt and shiftless, and the Japonies will eat us alive.


While on a mysterious camping mission of mysterious unknown purpose, Rarity and Twilight find themselves in a perilous predicament. Can love truly bloom on the battlefield?

A non-serious entrant for Monochromatic's "INTERWOVEN COLOURS" contest.

Coverart taken from some unknown hero on Derpibooru who apparently made it on Imgur... I didn't know what else to use... you know what just read the story and maybe it'll make sense.

Prereadin' looky-loos provided by Ferret and Randon!

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 54 )

The description Rarity gives of herself while devouring worms was absolutely brilliant. I'm really looking forward to anything you write.

That is certainly an ignoble thing to die to. Glad they lived.

Today the world gave me an odd gift. One of my favorite authors came back from am absence with a piece for a contest from one of my other favorite authors. The second author, a discriptive, evocative and verbose master off the written word perfectly describes my feelings.

"Holy shit"

Can love truly bloom on the battlefield?

Only when it’s between an eldar farseer and a Vindicare assassin. :trollestia:

Omg. This is so stupid, but so funny.
I'm not even disappointed anymore that it's not the next chapter of Sundowner :rainbowlaugh:



That aside, the author's note.... yeesh, what was the top of the list that this is only second place?

This was terribly romantic, a true look at love blooming in the most dire (and maybe equivocal) circumstances.

I foresee a long and happy relationship. Oh, and probably some death-treats written on candy stores under the cover of night, but that can probably be counted as quality time.

I'm crushed by the lack editing credit. Though I suspect you wished to spare me. :raritywink:

It was the Haribo thing that won me over.

...I haven't even read the description or the title, but I'm obligated to upvote this based on the cover image alone.

I'm not sure if I should be impressed or disgusted. Is there a happy medium emotion in-between? Impgusted? Disgussed? Nevertheless, you have my support.

Stupid but yet adorkable and silly hehe!

I love you


I'm laughing too hard to give a more detailed critique.

This made no sense at all. +1


Son, you've done gone and made me LIIVId.

A gummy ecosystem? Sweet.

This is the best thing I have ever read.

Rarity clucked her tongue in disapproval. “One never knows when a picnic might break out, darling. As my dear father always said, ‘Hey hey hey, is that a pic-a-nic basket or are you just happy to see me’?”

This was the moment you've definitely earned my upvote. Wonderful and hilarious story, and you wrote both Rarity and Twilight very well and completely believable. Also great job staying in-character with the magic-eating gummy worms, I know how hard those are to write but you just can't do a decent story without them. :moustache:

So, if this is the second stupidest thing you've written, what's the first?

Is this tentacles

When you realize there was no clop going on

I can't stop laughing.

I can't.

Well played.

Well, I mean, if you want this dark spot on your resume...


The Bet is the dumbest horse thing I've ever written. It's the kind of stupid thing that is only funny to me.

I don't know. I just read it again yesterday and thought it was actually pretty clever. Aside from the fact that I couldn't really tell what the actual bet was... was it about card houses or baby alligator bear log rolling?

Well, that happened.
I suppose they were both too overcome with emotion to realize they didn't have to actually eat the gummi worms, they could just take bites and spit them out, since the goal was just to cut them apart with their teeth.

Troll 2 Cover Art.


Pretty funny, but not enough Metal Gear references to sate my unnatural lusts.
200% Decent

Well that was fun! And probably sticky... luckily we don't have holodecks yet.

I don't know what I'm getting excited for, but dammit that tagline has me getting excited better than Pavlov ever dreamed!

Seeing it in TSotRG 1&2 trained me well.

I do so love it when you go completely fucking off the deep end KoB

This was adorable! But let me get this straight: Twilight and Rarity were swallowed by a gummy worm/fish/creature?

Wasn't this the title of a bad 1976 gross-out movie about evil killer swarms of worms?



*Alondro... knows... EVERYTHING!* :pinkiegasp:

And this story is a crossover with that... oooooooo... ok, I need to read this. :pinkiecrazy:


Well... that was... oddly appropriate considering the movie. :rainbowhuh:

Twilight’s ears flickered in confusion. “I’m sorry, what?” Twilight asked, mouth agape. “You fantasize about your own death?”

“Mhmmmm, indubitably,” Rarity said, practically purring.

"One day Spikey will grow into that handsome hulking specimen of a dragon again, and when he does... ooo, the things he could do to a helpless, delectable little unicorn before devouring her in a single gulp!"

It was then, to her horror, that Twilight discovered Rarity was a vorarephile. "KILL ME NOW!!" she screamed to the worms. "HURRY! IT MIGHT BE CONTAGIOUS!"


I like gummy candy. Just not too much of it at once. Those gummy cola bottles are pretty good.

8169337 don't you mean, holy vomit?

"I refuse to die knowing that the last thing to touch my poodle was some damned colorful gummy tentacle!”k

This is what I'm all about

this is pure magic

This was actually quite delightful, its a thing i could see happening in the show and both twilight and rarity were pretty much in character

Oh my god you beautiful, wondrous, amazing human being. This is so delightfully stupid. I love it. It's so silly and weird and charming and I love it. Thank you for giving my eyes such a thing to behold.

A+++ Would insert myself into fanfic as a gummy worm just to get in on the hilarity.

Yep, okay, all right. Let it never be said that when I acquiesce to reading something that I don't make good on my word. So, here I am, after you linked this story and I tried to flee from it, assuming the worst. You got my goose with this one—there was so much I didn't expect from it. Most of all, laughing at tentacle porn jokes. They were funny, okay?

The writing is, unsurprisingly, technically sound. More than that for me is Rarity. Oh my stars, Rarity is written brilliantly. I loved just about every line of dialogue, all of which I could hear so clearly. I could even believe that she indeed truly does fantasize about how she'll die. She is dramatic that way, after all. Your writing of her just fit the bill of in-character perfection.

I also don't know exactly when I realized they were being entangled by *gummy worms*, but I snorted a laugh aloud when that dawned on me—then honked it when Rarity faked a stroke. And, oh, oh speaking of sweet Rarity, her repeated attempts at confessing her love to Twilight. It was actually very, very sweet; it was clear to me what she was doing the first time she said it.

What I must gander at with awe, however, was how, despite it being the "second stupidest" thing you've ever written, despite the jokes, despite the ridiculousness, it was all so very sincere and genuine in the little but meaningful ways. The friendship, the love, the anger, the forgiveness, and even the resolution of the situation (BAMF Gummy!).

Thank you, Goose.

“ Ponyville’s mortician!?” Rarity began thrashing again. “That loudmouthed rumor-mongering snob!? I’d rather die than let Shallow Graves see me in such a state!”

Rarity's brain has left the building, fillies and gentlecolts. :facehoof:

What the HELL did I just read?

King, what are you on, and where can I get something?

“I won’t vomit! I am a warrior of love with a stomach of iron and a heart of steel and teeth of whatever is the opposite of gummy… which is probably teeth!”

“Oh, AJ,” Pinkie said, clucking her tongue in clear condescension, “why do you think I named him Gummy?”

Applejack raised an eyebrow all the way to the brim of her hat. “‘Cuz he ain’t got no teeth?”

“That and his gummy candy addiction.”

Turns out teeth are not the opposite of gummy.

That was amazing.

“Oh, darling, you do go on,” Rarity said, tittering in a disturbingly maidenly fashion. “Me? Loopy? Why I blood am never brain pajamas in the ding-dong-doodle.”

That may be the best paragraph I've read all week.

“I won’t vomit! I am a warrior of love with a stomach of iron and a heart of steel and teeth of whatever is the opposite of gummy… which is probably teeth!”

I take it back; that is the best paragraph I've read all week.

A wonderful blend of absurdity, warm fuzzy feelings, and gelatin. Thank you for it.

Well that was deeply silly, but also extremely funny, and not without touching moments either.

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