"Tim, you're just so nice nobody could hate you. We all are secretly in love with you." ~bats
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It's a rare thing when you find somepony special who brings light into your life—a light you didn't know you were missing. When you find that pony, isn't it only fitting to return the favour?
A short story written for Monochromatic's Interwoven Colours contest.
Preread by Carabutt.
Cover art by Rossby Waves.
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The only complaint is your constant use of 'darling'. Rarity likes the word, but not that much. I'd probably slap a SoL tag on this too.
Loved the story, thumbs up from me!
This was an absolute delight to preread <3
I concur with the Fluff. c:
Congratulations on your win.
I know I'm not a judge for the contest, but you won in my mind.
Spoilers below.
I've had lengthy rants, discussions, musings, and word-vomits on the topic of romance and romantic stories. You, Timea, are well-aware of those. There are stories that claim to be romantic and aren't, stories attempting to be romantic but fail, and stories that technically count but really are other things. There are stories that are genuinely romance stories, but delve into pairings that are awful, styles of romance that are tedious to read, and themes that are unpleasant. Other romance stories delve into everything right, but stumble on execution either with poor characterization, going overboard with the sap like what used to happen regularly for the CMC, or so on.
This was none of those. This was a romance story. You cranked it up to eleven, and went all in on the romance. This wasn't a careful and moderate amount of sweetness trying for just the right balance. This was bold, grand, and truly fitting of someone like Rarity. And unlike a lot of failed attempts made elsewhere, this one didn't feel wrong for any of that, it hit hard and on target.
I can't say I had a lot of inspiration from the prompt of "interwoven colors." Some of the things that I read from other submissions seemed to... tack on that to the story, to some degree. Not necessarily bad stories or wrong in presentation. When you described the part with Twilight fondly remembering the way hers and Rarity's tails intertwined, I suspected that would be "tacked on to count for the contest" element. Needless to say here on the other end, that I was happily wrong about that.
Not only did you have little elements of color-weaving like that dotting throughout the story, you also had the big, grande visual displays both from the past first date and the present one year anniversary. On top of that, you wove that past and present pair of stories together in yet another weave. Much like the romance, you went all-in, and produced a very satisfying result.
Then we have the characters. Missing is the hamfisted "have a catchprase, my characters are 20% more in-character than everyone elses' it's Taco Tuesday, y'all. I'm on a horse." Instead we have what feels like two very real people.. Two people obviously in love, and oh hey that really is Twilight Sparkle and Rarity. The tiny bit with "darling" managed to, for me, come across as a bit of a lampshade of that. Almost as if this story were mocking all the bad ones, while showing how it is done.
Like, did you seriously write this just for me or something? If you pulled this off with a TwiDash story, I'd suspect you seriously.
A story as beautiful as the lights that inspired it. Thank you for writing it.
What this chick said. I'm glad she did because I'm shaking too much to form coherent sentences.
I'm not crying. You're crying.
Shut up.
Finally able to sit down and think for more than five minutes since posting this story. Time for overdue comment replies!
8194436 Ah, thank you for catching that. Offline I edited a bunch of those out in my revisions, but I guess things didn't quite sync up when I uploaded the gdoc to fimfic. Fixed almost immediately after I saw your comment, so thank you again for bringing that to my attention.
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This story wouldn't have been possible without both of your support and patience while I whined and droned on about things. You two help make writing stories fun and something I look forward to.
8195427 First, thank you for taking the time to comment. I really appreciate comments like these that delve more into the story, what worked, what might not have, and I know how much time they can take to type up. It's not one of your reviews by any means, but all the same, thanks for taking that time to read and comment.
Going into writing this story, I really didn't want the prompt to be something tacked on like I've done in past contests. For around a week or so, I fiddled with different ways I wanted to approach telling the story. I debated doing the entire first-date sequence as one, long scene before flashing forward to their one-year anniversary, but that didn't feel quite right. I'm really glad I went with the interspersed approach I used, and I'm really glad the interwoven theme carried over and paid off.
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Well done in putting a big R in Romance on both sides. Twi is still Twi, and no time will change that, but I do like how Rarity matures with time. The planning for the first date (even if it was a plot device to have a cave full of such crystals) was excellent, and Twilight's response for the anniversary was as well laid out. (I don't find it odd in the slightest that Twilight would have kept every bottle of wine she and Rarity drank. Fits right in with her OCD.) What I liked best is the unspoken romance in the touch between partners that you presented.
I honestly hope I lose to this!
This is definitely one of my favourites out of this contest!
Very sweet, well written, and on prompt! Thank you for sharing it with us!
Drown me in sugar, this is everything I’ve come to expect from Timaeus. This is so sweet and romantic that it almost overdoes it at places. I need to bury my head in salt for a bit just so I can get somewhere back to pH Balanced. A gorgeous interplay of fantastic imagery of both bottle and crystal, the sheer EPIC level of romance that I would expect from both of them.
First of all, Twi’s amazing attention to detail. Her keeping every bottle. Her knowing every bottle. Her remembering a single sentence for each moment. That was fantastic. Even better? Twilight under Rarity’s influence, getting to play games with Rarity. Quite sultry games indeed.
Then we have Rarity’s initial gambit, showing an enormous amount of creativity and beauty in the most unlikely of places. “It wouldn’t be the first time it’s taken a few looks to really understand how precious something is” is the perfect line for her.
This relationship is so vibrant, so fresh, so passionate and so new that I find myself jealous of both of them. They’re both tender, loving and simply get far too much fun out of physical teasing. This seems to be a very realistic expression of what Twilight and Rarity could be to one another.
And of course, there’s the simple matter of the gorgeous interwoven colors of both crystal and glass. That was done beautifully. I think it’s my favorite of any of the entries. The best example of interwoven colors… or at least the best imagery. I could even picture it in my head, but I saw it like one would see light coming through the water’s surface reflecting onto something else, just with a wash of total colors.
If there is any fault in this story, it may actually be too much romance (I find myself horrified for typing these words). The other aspect is that while I do love parallel storytelling (I’ve used it numerous times myself), the pacing of this felt a little odd. Maybe because it didn’t go back and forth enough? Maybe because I got lost in one story and forgot about the other? But these are tiny, tiny complaints in a sea of expansive shining hues.
Definitely well deserving of the Monochromatic Honorable Mention (and I should mention my #3 ^^)
Great job!
This has to be my favorite RariTwi of all time!
Beautiful, simply beautiful.
Tim, the way you compose words is simply beautiful. I can really see the thought dripping through this story, and the literary crafting brings a soft smile to my face because you've bathed it in glorious warmth.
"Happy anniversary, Rarity! Here's a trip down drunken memory lane!"
Okay, but where's this story? :V
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All good things come with patience.
This should get way more attention! All the praises have been sung already, but I can, at least, be another voice in that chorus. It was a beautiful story. Thank you oh so very much!
This is my second read through of this story and it still brings a tear to my eyes.
Third read, still worth it.