I'm a guy who cosplays as a male Akame from Akame Ga Kill at Comic Con, hoping to grab some praise and sweet swag, and by that, I mean some cool stuff. It was then that I met the Merchant and bought Murasame from him.
And not a second after that, I found myself in the past of MLP:FIM's lore as Akame, lady parts and all.
Later on, I become a high ranking officer in Celestia's army. But I wonder how long I'm gonna live...?
Eh, I'll worry about that when the time comes.
Author's Notes:
Akame displaced, don't like, don't read.
Chapters (3)
This is a repost.
gg author gg
7550689 What's that supposed to mean?
7550691 It means your bad and you should feel bad.
git gud bby
7550702 I don't know if that was a joke or an insult
7550716 Ignore him. I like where this is going and I'm interested to see more in the future
7550736 Thanks
7550743 Why did you make him a girl if he was cosplaying as a guy version? XD
You have my attention...
Uh oh...
Well... You have me hooked! I look forward to the next chapter!
7550806 It happens to a lot of characters that dress up as female characters
7550823 :P
7550702
Are are
7550870 Go back to Rage Reviews Mesa >:[
7550874
This is exactly where Rage Reviews belongs though
7550878 We're going to get a rage review of this? :D
Looks interesting enough. I'm looking forward to the next chapter.
Hmm, your character was only needed because you made the heroes less competent than they were in canon, by having Spike drop the Crystal Heart.
This already smells like a Mary Sue HIE (as to be expected from a Displaced story).
Stop having your OCs steal the glory of the main characters in a battle that they won in canon.
Nope, that doesn't sound like a recipe for a Mary Sue at all, nope, this character totally won't overshadow Spike and Cadance by killing Sombra when he was dealt with just fine in canon. Sarcasm aside, that was really a bad way to introduce the main character in the first chapter and this is OP as hell.
Yes, how would you know you're needed for the Crystal Empire when you've presumably seen the premiere and saw that they handled the problem themselves?
And Chrysalis was actually Cadance when she was impersonating her.
I could go on and on with this story just based off the fact that it's Displaced, but I figured I might as well give you something I wrote sometime ago about Displaced stories. Which can be found here.
7551883 Surely there are more than 5% of Displaced stories that are good...
7552150
5% is pretty generous, to be honest.
7552418 I can understand people's tendency to dislike Displaced fics, but they're honestly not that bad. I would love for someone to prove me wrong on this matter, without giving baseless accusations that apply to the 'majority of Displaced fics' without having actually read them. Don't get me wrong either, I'm not denying the fact that there are some pretty bad Displaced fics on the site, but the majority that I've read are not bad.
7552150
It really is generous. How about I take the number of stories in the Good Hie List and put it over the number of stories in Hie.
342/11,139
Guess what percent that comes out to be?
3.07%
P.S.
You've got an Admin of Human in Equestria and an Admin of Overly Stupid Fanfiction telling you about it. What more could you want?
7552609 So you know what it all comes down to? Opinion, and so despite my earlier comments I'm no longer really concerned about the topic. I for one enjoy some of the displaced stories, and HiE fics in general.
My original first story got a bit of flakk itself when it first came out, those first few weeks were a nightmare for me...
But don't let critics stop you from doing a story that has a lot of potential! You have my support all the way
7552617
Okay, no. That's not how it works. Look at the Admins of Good Hie, they all in one way or another know what thier talking about. They have experience and that's how they're able to judge and be, almost all of the time, right. That's why it's not an opinion, it's fact. I literally gave you the statistics of how many Hie stories are actually good. Plus, that's such a sorry excuse for when you get criticism. It's quite cowardly really.
If I'm fight in a boxing match, I'm not going to say "it's just their opinion" when I lose. No, the ref has experience and I trust thier judgement. Same goes for reviewers and the like on here. If they give me a harsh, but true review I'll take what they said and use it to improve my next writing. That's how it should go with this and any other BadFic.
Because the people on here, most of them, know what their talking about in one way or another. General Skullcoat has been dealing with BadFics longer than me and I've been doing it for over two years. AC97 was on one of the first BadFics I ever was on. PegasisMesa, while they didn't put anything for the story, is in Rage Reviews. We all are able to put judgement and criticism on this fic, because we've gained experience with the type of Fic in one way or another.
There's no holding back with criticism because of some silly excuse of "because I said so" or "because magic" and that's why they're good authors and reviewers. I think I'm adequate at those things to, because guess what? My first fic for MLP was an Hie. I eventually learned how to write, edit, and review over time and a big reason for that was the BadFics I saw and the people that reviewed and helped me with my stories.
7552969
What have you been reading lately? Hmm, Skullcoat?
7552731 However, dear Author, you should also not let scattered praise get in the way of improving what people have pointed out as objectively flawed. Criticism is given so that the author can improve and maybe learn something about writing that they didn't know before. Sure some people give it... Well, pretty harshly, but it's still rather valid. This story does have rushed pacing. This story does have a very thinly explained plot. This story does have a Mary Sue main character. This story does make canon characters incompetent. Put together, this story has objective and large flaws.
I'm not saying to stop writing though. While this isn't good, I have seen far, far worse. If you read and accept criticism and improve from it, then your stories will increase in quality and you'll be able to weave a better narrative.
But if you pull a JusSonic and say that you don't need to improve despite the fact that people with years of experience are pointing out definitive literary flaws that you could learn from, then, well, have fun in your echo chamber because nobody can help you.
7552992 I do realize that, and I do agree with what you say, hell, I've gotten a lot better with my stories since I first started, but it doesn't hurt to at least be supportive to a writer that needs it
>Was about to write a review of this story.
>Sees other admins of Overly Stupid Fanfiction.
>Reads their well thought out thoughts on this story.
>Watches people get roasted for silly deflections.
Well, looks like everyone did my job for me. But, I should leave a couple of words just to contribute to this clusterfuck.
1: Story Cover, and Title
Look, if you want to draw in readers, especially those who will help you out, you need to get a grasp at what art to use, and how to title a story properly. Ya see, a cover should convey what I should expect to read in this story. I know you shouldn't judge a book by it's cover, but that doesn't stop most people from lookin' at good cover art to find a story they'll find interesting.
As for the title, never title a crossover, or any story for that matter, something that uninspired. A title should tell me exactly how the story is going to feel, and play out in a narrative sense. If you just do, "The Demon Swordsman," it sounds like you just took the character, and added the word the to make it sound like a title. Something very low-class, cheesy old adventure books did to copy the much better, "Lord of The Rings," or "The Hobbit."
2: Taking Crticism
Look, people are not gonna like your story, you're gonna have to accept that. It could be a petty reason, or a well thought out reason, to each their own. However, people who go out of their way to give you a thought out analysis of exactly how to improve your story, or what's wrong with your story, are your best friends when writing. It will give you exactly what you need to reflect on, and look to when continuing to write your stories.
Even better, if you take their thoughts in stride, and welcome them with open arms, you;ll be respected, and people will like you. It shows you have maturity, and are able to think critically of yourself, and that's a much needed trait in this medium.
3: Conclusion
Don't be too deterred by these peoples thoughts, they are mostly here to help you, and or, tell you what is bad. They may be harsh, but that's what anyone needs if they want to improve, which everyone should want to do, and when they're harsh, it shows you exactly what must be done. That's why, "The harsher, the better."
7553186
Come on in. Top or bottom?
7552969 I'm not denying that there aren't bad fics out there, in fact I'm of the same mind. What I am denying, is the fact that you all seem to hate Displaced fics because they have the same story, or because some aren't written well. I think that's going a bit far, picking on the authors of displaced fics because you don't like the 'genre', saying stuff like 5% is generous for good Displaced fics. Have you read them all?
7552940 okay sorry but that's how it works. Unless you have a legit reason to think all Displaced fics are shit aside from 'bad structure' 'bad story' 'shit grammar' and so on, then literally everything else is opinion. And don't even bother saying that all Displaced fics are bad because of those reasons. If you think that then you obviously haven't read a lot of them.
7554180
Again where's your proof. I gave you plenty. Haze gave you plenty. General Skullcoat gave you plenty. AC97 gave you plenty. And all you have to back it is "because I say so". Like, you're being a hypocrite. You say that what we've said is just an opinion and then ask for proof (without giving any of your own, I might add). Without any proof of your own, your statements are an opinion and ours are facts.
And also again, this is like saying that you're a girl or a tree or a lamp, when you're a guy. You're sole reasoning behind it would be "because I said so" and "it's just everyone's opinion". That's what I'm trying to get from you. Your factual proof that we are wrong. Because currently you have none. The statistics are against you.
Plus, have you read all of them? That's like saying that I can't say a chair is a chair because I haven't seen them all.
7554234 What proof do you want? What proof can I give you in this matter? All you've given me are statistics on 'how many good HiE fics there are' which is a MATTER OF OPINION! Unless you legitimately read all of them, point out their flaws and what makes them good, then that means nothing.
No, it's like saying you think all chairs are bad quality because of the experiences you've had without actually trying out different quality chairs. Not all chairs are good, not all are bad. Same applies here, which is what I've been trying to get across. You're basically saying less than 5% of chairs are good because of some 'statistic' that's been brought up without applying it to the population, rather than the sample. Do you know what that means? It's not credible.
7554297
How hard is it to back up what you're saying? You're spouting the same thing over and over again and it's your opinion. You're not giving anything to back it up. Tell me how many Hie stories have you read and wrote? How well did they do? Have you reviewed Hie stories? Are you Admin of any groups that would give you the credentials to say that we're wrong? How is this, in any way, a good fic? Have you even looked at what we've been saying?
Here I'll give the summary. The proof that you want.
Me:
Execution in Displaced Stories:
AC97:
Mary Sues:
General Skullcoat:
The Story Itself:
Haze:
Story Cover and Title:
Don't worry I got some proof from you to back yourself up.
You
Opinion:
"Because I said so"
7554325 Bro, I keep saying I'm not denying the fact that there are bad Displaced fics, for gods sake why does everyone seem to ignore that fact? Everything you're saying I know already, and I agree with. What I'm trying to say is that NOT ALL DISPLACED FICS ARE BAD
7554365
Which is what we've said. But you continue to deny the fact that there's not as many as you think there are.
7554350 I never said this was a good fic, I haven't even read it. Never did I mention anything about this fic, so using what others have said about this against my opinion just proves my point further, that 'you're basing your 'statistics' from one source to all of them'. That's just not right mate, from a statistical standpoint and from a moral one. It's not fair to judge other stories based off this one so stop trying.
All I'm trying to say is that not all Displaced fics are bad, however you all seem to miss that point and immediately try to criticise me. Also, how does being an admin of a group suddenly make my opinion more credible? I have written HiE fics and Displaced fics, and they're doing fairly well I'd like to think.
7554373 So what're your standards for a good story? I can show you plenty of Displaced with good grammar, spelling, structure and so on. In fact, you could probably find them yourself, it's really not hard. But it's impossible if you don't like the setting, which is 'generally OP main character' and shit like that. There's nothing wrong with OP MCs except for the fact that you don't like them. I personally enjoy some OP MCs, but if it's bad plot story and shit like that then sure I'll find you one.
7554374
Alright here's a big list of bad Hie:
The Element of Time
The Epic Adventure of Black Night
Me in Equestria
Night:Hie
Spirit of Humanity
Aaron's Journey through life in Equestria
My Little Pony: The Human
Eclipsed Memories
The Adventures and Misadventures of Chris
The Last Man Standing
There's almost a dozen out of hundreds.
7554378
Good OP characters are characters like Saitama.
Bad OP characters are characters like this one.
7554406
vignette3.wikia.nocookie.net/the-house-of-anubis/images/1/18/Yup.gif/revision/latest?cb=20130915170224
P.S.
Could you get Haze? Is he like trying to get some beauty sleep? If so, don't get him, he needs it.
7553186
jk, you're as pretty as a bedazzled tissue.
7554378
7554387
What's wrong with having an OP character if it's supposed to be just plain serious and not a parody or comedy of any kind? This, taken from a comment written by Architech Ironturtle on the story Not the Hero, and no, this isn't their entire comment, just a portion of it (and they're not criticizing the story itself, as it's a deconstruction of bad HiEs, especially the 7th element ones):
The problem with Displaced stories is that given they're usually power fantasies in some way, they almost always fall under these two categories.
7554422
I think we're just leaning toward the fact that there's like three stories that actually do that right.
7554387 forgive me for trying to figure out what you dislike about Displaced fics. You're just being rude at this point so I think I'll leave it at that and give up
7554396 Giving me a list doesn't really prove anything. I know there's bad HiE fics, I've read plenty
7554422 I agree, but like I said before I'm gonna leave this since they're just being rude now.
7554412 Sorry, my grandpa was on top of me while my PC was below me, and I tried to squirm away, but it was too late. The damage had already been done.
I don't need sleep, bruh. These good looks are just too good to be tied down by such primitive desires, unlike you.
7551859 I thought it was simply informing that it was a displaced story and that those who don't like them -displaced- (which you don't seem tolike them) could avoid them altogether.