the story would revolve around said human telling the ponies about his experiences at those times

Pony: did you see the unification of the three tribes? what was it like?
Human: fuck if I know, I was in Yakyakistan

Pony: did you see Tirek's first rampage?
Human: I was in the griffin kingdoms at the time

Pony: the reign of discord?
Human: I fell down a hole and was an enchanted well for about 100 years until I could convince someone to let me out

Pony: what about the rise of nightmare moon?
Human: I was taking a shit at that time

Yes.make story pls?

5406460 Oh, that'd be funny.

5406460 The last one fucking got me.

Whats worse is its believable too given in the show the uprising of nightmare moon occured over the course of a few hours after when the sun was supposed to rise. The human very well could have been doing his morning ablutions and taking an extraordinarily long shit at the time when it happened and missed everything.

5406460
5406473

Pony: what about the rise of nightmare moon?
Human: I was taking a shit at that time

"Didn't Luna, like, gradually fall into depression and anger over a long period of time before turning into Nightmare Moon?"
"Celestia and I just thought she was going through those edgy teenage alicorn years."
"..."
"Plus, I'd finally found someone who knew what a taco was and would make me-"
"'Taco?'"
"Most amazing food anywhere. Anywhere... But do you know what an actual, literal unholy taco does to a divine digestive tract? When you gotta' poo, you gotta' Poo."

Twilight: So human friend where did the windegos come from?

Human Uhh...

Remembers how ponies traped in a cave in savagely ate each other so they wouldn't starve. Their acts of cannabilism leting them be possed by windegos of old.

Human: Well they ate.. I MEAN HATED EACH OTHER. During the long winter.

Twilight : O thats what i thought. Isn't it great how friendship fixes everything!?!?!?

Human: *laughs nervously* Yeah sure.

5406460

Pony: the reign of discord?

Human: I fell down a hole and was an enchanted well for about 100 years until I could convince someone to let me out

Everyone is talking about the last one but dam that must have been brutal.

yes this story must be done , it could work as a Anon story

5406460

Pony: what about the rise of nightmare moon?
Human: I was taking a shit at that time

나는 아이디어를 사랑.

I don't want to be mean, but I wouldn't be interessted, since I feel like I have to bribe someone, to actually get a Human that does something in a major event.
In the storys I read the Human either isn't able to do a shit, or is even there where something happens, if he has power or not, so I don't exactly need a Human that has the luck to not be there.

For me it would be an upgrade from:

1. a Human that isn't there when something happens
to
2. a Human that has the luck to not be there when something happens.

5406460 10 out of the ten!

Pony: "What about Sombra and the Crystal Empire? The Changeling invasion? Tirek's return!?"

Human: "What? Never heard of those."

5406460

Sounds like a hilarious story. Please make it.

Sounds like a good one shot. Don't think a full story could come from this though.

5406460
Curse of the Blitz

5406460
I can relate to missing 'major' things. I wouldn't know about half the things that take place in real life, were it not for people being unable to stop talking about them.

I'd read a fanfic with this premise,

5406494 seems like a misspelling somepony would make.

5406460 can we get a scene of the human crawling out of the well like something out of the ring.

5406540
Pony: *tosses coin* "Oh, magic wishing well, please help me find true love."
Voice at the bottom of the well: "Tell you what, you send a rope down here, and I'll personally make sure you find the companion of your dreams."
Pony: "Um... Okay." *goes home, gets coil of rope, drops it down the well without securing it to anything*
Well voice: "...You think you're real funny, don't you?"

5406460 I never knew how much I wanted this.

Reminds me of a short story I read here a while ago. "The most boring HIE ever" it was called, or something like that. A human accountant is dropped into Equestria, spends two months sitting around Twilight's library reading about magic, portals himself back to Earth and no one notices it until they find his written "went back home, bye" note. The end.

It's funny in an anticlimax way, but not really something that offers itself to more than a one-shot.

5406581

I feel like I have to bribe someone, to actually get a Human that does something in a major event.

In the storys I read the Human either isn't able to do a shit, or is even there where something happens, if he has power or not, so I don't exactly need a Human that has the luck to not be there.

Well, now that you say it...

5407795

Got a link to that story? Search isn't finding it...

5408091
No, I don't. The title I gave was just my vague memory of what it was called... or maybe what it said in the description. You're honestly not missing much, though. It was maybe two thousand words long and I described pretty much everything that happens in it. There's intentionally not a lot going on.

5406460

Pony: what about the rise of nightmare moon?
Human: I was taking a shit at that time

Human: "I do remember that! I was taking a shit at that time, but I did feel the castle shake. I remember because the rumbling knocked over my roll of toilet paper and I had to get up before I was done to chase after it."
Human:
Pony:

5407795
5408091

I think I found it.

5410106
Yup, that's the one.

5410359

Ah... the joys of this site not having a shitty search engine...

5406632 "Changeling invasion? IT WAS A WEDDING I WAS DRUNK."

5410392
You should check in on the "looking for story" thread of this group every so often. You're clearly luckier with it than I am. I have a hard time finding anything here.

5410704
*Cough*Fanfictionsnob*Cough*

5410706
Finding as in "I have shit luck when using search engines." Dunno. I was just never good at it. Not just this site in particular but in general. I find most stuff I use by recommendation.

Man, he would be bored as hell eh? No internet, no television, all the interesting people die after about a century or so, except when they're dragons, in which case you can never get them to wake the fuck up. I'm reminded of a story about an immortal man living after the fall of humanity taking hobbies to ridiculous and insane degrees in an effort to fight off his ever-increasing boredom.

He doesn't even get to live through the good parts of history.

Twilight "What was it like living under the rein of discord?!"
Human "um well it was not pleasant but not really bad really. i mean i've got a british sense of humor so his pranks aren't really that disruptive when you think about it. Sure the sun went up and down every twenty minutes or so, and sure the roads routinely turned to soap but just plan your day around 15 or 16 day-night cycles and put cleats on your shoes when going out and always remember your umbrella because chocolate rain isn't nearly as pleasant as it sounds"

"but how did he take over to begin with? and how didn't you notice his defeat!"
"Oh i just got used to you crazy magical ponies and whatnot running around declaring yourselves rulers of the world every now and then. it happens a lot more than you would think, though sunbutt is doing a pretty good job until lately"

5413571
See, this kind of thing is why I can't take it seriously when a story gripes "oh no, Discord was so cruel, he was torturing all the pones and ruining their lives." This is literally less protective gear than I need to put on just to be allowed in my own lab. If I can deal with it, so can fucking they.

5413582

alternatively
our human gets up one morning to notice the sky is checkerboarded and the sun and moon keep flipping around. He walks into his kitchen to see his toaster finishing off the remains of his tea kettle. Sighing he opens the pantry to find the sugar has run off with the marmalade and the brandy has been replaced with scotch. Removing a box of cereal from its internment camp (imposed by the quaker oats), he pours himself a bowl and grabs a spoon from another drawer as the rest of the untensils bolt for it. Not even bothering to deal with the iceskating milk carton today, he proceeds out to his patio where he quietly munches on his dry cereal. He looks at the calendar on the wall. "crap has it been 1000 years already?"

Going inside (making sure to sidestep the now sliding door), he checks to make sure his umbrella and cleats are where he left them when he moved in, calmly dispatching his now rampaging ficus without a fuss. He wasn't much of a green thumb anyways and 1000 years of practice hadn't really improved that. Taking the items out from their places, he makes his way back to his front porch where he sees the town half on fire, half frozen and half toppled over.

Opening his umbrella against the searing chocolate downpour he takes a calm stroll through the town, occasionally pausing to get his footing as the road changes materials no less than three times.

Reaching the center of town, he notices a large throne has been placed there, on it laughing manicly the figure that he had caused all the commotion.
"HAHAHA.......oh its you" Discord says with disgust as our human tapped him on the shoulder. "Of all the creatures in Equestria, why did you have to show up to ruin my fun. Just being near you is boring. You exude boringness." Discord snapped his fingers and in a puff, our human was now wearing mid colonial garb complete with flowing powdered wig. "See, even when i try to do chaos on you it ends up boring"
"Its not my fault i'm from a land where chaos is boring." he quipped.
"So are you going to try to stop me at least?" discord says with a challenge.
"Na, you're like the third bad guy to declare themselves ruler of the world this year, i'm gonna just sit this one out."
"HEY DISCORD!" a third voice shouts. Turning he sees the mane 6 gathered with the elements.
"oh poo looks like you've distracted me with your boringness." discord says, "Go on, get out of here before something interesting happens!" He then snapps his fingers and a stampeed of 10 foot tall rabits storms by.
"So wanna meet up for tea after you're done having a temper tantrum then?" The human says, shaking chocolate milk out of his powdered wig.
"OOOH allright!" discord says with a huff before turning to face the mane 6.

maybe i should write this up into something, idk

5413636

the brandy has been replaced with scotch.

The horror! The horror!

Wait no that's an improvement, why would I complain about that.

maybe i should write this up into something, idk

Maybe you should. There really aren't enough stories here that feature a character just being completely unfazed by Discord's brand of chaos while he becomes progressively more agitated about it. "Why won't you get upset already dammit!"

Dunno, the idea is just funny to me.

5413651
just an update, i did expand my earlier post into a story.

its submitted pending approval now.

i titled it A Monty Discord.