After the Friendship Games, Sunset feels it's time to return home.
Only when she gets there, Twilight's castle is nowhere to be found, Cadance just got her horn, and Princess Celestia is still calling the bacon-haired pony her prized student rather than a failed one. And just reliving her past isn't on the table thanks to a pair of wings Sunset seems to have sprouted upon her return to Equestria.
With Sunset being back before she's supposed to, will the world stay as harmonious and on track, or will everything go down in flames as Sunset has to deal with allegations that she's really a changeling in disguise, a nerdy stallion with blue hair that wants to be her coltfriend, a pretty pink princess in need of remedial magic lessons, and an annoying purple pre-teen pony that will absolutely not go to bed without first being read Starswirl's Complete Mystical Mysteries Compendium?
Only time will tell
Oh well you got my interest. Even if I think, the scenewhere Sunset left was not heartbreaking enough.
This sounds very interesting. I can't wait to read more.
My body is ready
This sounds like that story, Another Chance. That story, Sunset goes back two weeks before the first movie...
I really dislike Sunset's behavior here
"had no real understand of"
"understanding"?
"despite her instance on the"
"insistance"?
Interesting concept you have here. :)
Ohh, I like where this is going.
Looking good.
Dat time-loop tho...
A few typos, some bits of odd word choice, but overall not enough to detract from an extremely interesting premise. I'll be watching this with great interest.
Looks like auto correct fixed Applejack's lines for you, I assume you meant "Way ta".
Prologue, or possibly Prolog (from pro, "before" and lógos, "word") not prolouge. You could also use Prolegomenon if you are feeling archaic. Note not Preface, Epigraph, Foreword, or Introduction as those are something different.
Humm ok so far I guess, more curious to see how Sunset will deal with knowing what she does. Like the fact she ISN'T the special unicorn Celestia was waiting for to help free Luna. I always felt Celestia only knew a powerful Unicorn destined to become Alicorn would help free her sister, when Sunset now an alicorn tells her she isn't that student how will Celestia react? How will Sunset deal with Twilight?
Sunset's aggressive nature, especially after supposedly understanding the magic of friendship (that was what that scene in the movie was about, after all) seems a very ham-fisted way to set up the story. This, in particular, seems especially out of character:
I mean, she could have explained all this without the anger (which seems very antithetical to the magic of friendship), and why she had to leave, yada yada, instead we get, well, EqG 1 Sunset Shimmer coming through here.
I dunno, I'll give it a chance, but honestly, so far, the characters don't seem to fit with what we know. Unless we're just going to use the Alt-Universe tag as an excuse to throw it all out the window.
I like the premise but Sunset feels very out of character. I can understand her reasoning behind the decision but not the extremely agressive way she is acting.
...ok then
Very interesting idea, but I can only agree with my predecessors, Sunset is acting quite OOC here.
6476888 I agree she feels quite out of character there. But I shall see where this leads.
As others have noted, Sunset seems a bit OOC in here. I hope it was just early installmentweirdness
more please more
6476888
What's funny is that Sunset does still have anger issues—but not at her friends. She explodes at other people, like Trixie or Human Twilight.
That, and she comes across as really bossy here. Using magic to shut all her friends up was... not nice. Whatever else, I'm kinda hoping taking all her friends' magic without really asking (including Spike's ability to talk) will blow up in her face. Not literally, but that wasn't a very friendship-y move.
I don't really see the reason to change the cannon way the battle turned out, plus Sunset's OOC moments. You could have still gotten to what you wanted for the story without changing all of that.
Having said that this seems interesting and I'll be keeping an eye on it.
I like how she's saying this as if the bulk of unicorns in Equestria don't use magic all the time for stupid shit. Twilight literally used magic to give Spike a mustache with a spell she learned from a book for party tricks... Yeah, I'd say abusing phenomenal cosmic powers for fun is par for the norm in Equestria.
Very annoying portrayal of Sunset's character over all. Also way to sped through goodbye. They acted like they barely cared at all when there friend just decided to leave out of the blue.
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Liking the potential, but what this guy said is basically what I would say regarding complaints.
Yes. It is kind of her cutie mark.
6478003 Hence why Twilight will still probably become the Princess of Friendship later down the road. Sunset may be an alicorn now, but her station and role among the Equestrian Princess Hierarchy is still in question.
Thing is, now she "Knows" things about what *Could* happen. Not everything, true, but she still knows enough, and depending on how much she is able/willing to tell Celestia they could better prepare for some of the larger threats later down the road. Who knows? Maybe Twi won't be quite so antisocial when she's shipped off to Ponyville to oversee the Summer Sun Celebration.
6478113 Except that those same Unicorns have at least a basic grounding in how their magic works, and Twilight in particular has spent years mastering her powers, so there's a degree of safety through familiarity even when she's experimenting with something more dangerous than giving Spike an Epic Handlebar. I imagine the Magical flair-ups that Unicorn foals have can sometimes become quite dangerous depending on how severe they are, and we all know how well Twilight's own initiation into Celestia's School went. Sunset's Human friends have practically no knowledge of how their "Powers" are supposed to work, which is a bit like handing a loaded gun to a kid who's never seen one in their life, and then forgetting to tell them not to point it at anything they don't want to shoot.
A tad strange but not bad.....
6475245 They've known each other for less than a year. It's more like a good friend moving away than a heart wrenching moment needing 1 ton o' tears. No one would've expected her to never be able to come back due to time magic issues.
I'm intrigued.
Liked and tracking this. here's hoping Flash Sentry isn't brought in, though, at least -this- Twilight would be a suitable age for it.
Tracking this, will read later.
<Finds Story>
<2 hours later an updates comes out>
Best day ever! I'm loving this so far!
It's certainly showing lots of promise and potential.
Tell Celestia the truth? Sunset asked herself before images of a prison sentence and wing amputations assaulted her imagination until she squelched that idea with all her mental prowess. Yeah, screw that.
Oh, so we're going down this route, eh? OOC and hit with the stupid stick. Alright, good to know.
Really liking the story so far, though, I might recommend an "AU" tag, since the wibbly wobbly timey wimey ball's been messed with.
I'm totally gonna read this later.
My one hope is that the real Twilight will try to come through the portal and find out what has happened, maybe accuse Sunset of doing everything. Maybe even a big battle! Or maybe different ponies come through from time to time.
I still forsee plenty of fun in the future of this fic.
I am loving this story. I find it hard to believe Sunset is only a year older than Twilight, since Twilight had never heard of Sunset Shimmer, but that's a minor detail. I haven't seen serious Cadance and Sunset interaction before, that should be interesting. I also love the idea of Sunset getting first crack at the BBFF.
Very interesting indeed.
You almost make it sound as if Alicorns pop up every century or so...
You know, the fact that both Celestia students are utterly terrified and paranoid about her punishments probably mean something...
Man, wait until Sunset realises that she has to fight Nightmare Moon in the future.
She's going to be terrified.
(unless her and NM end up in a pissing contest of Sunny raising the sun and NM raising the moon)
I dub thee Sunset Savvy, Princess of Genre Savviness
The timeline difference between Sunset leaving and Twilight becoming a student of Celestia is always something that bothers me. I've always just assumed Sunset was in the human realm for a multiple of 2.5x years, something like 5 or 7.5 years, and only returned once she somehow found out there was a magical artifact of great power within easy snatching range.
Of course, if there's a very narrow time-zone between Sunny leaving and Twilight becoming Celestia's student, I've entertained the possibility of Sunset finding out about Nightmare Moon, then in Equestria Girls, trying to turn Twilight against Celestia by saying things like "I bet Celestia's never told you about me, I wonder why? I guess she wanted to cover it up, just like how she never told you Nightmare Moon was going to return. I did, and broke free from her manipulations."
I digress, though, with my own ideas. It looks like Sunset's going to have to play off a head injury or something as long as possible, or some sort of post-alicorn disorientation. Given how rare they supposedly are, and hers purportedly coming from the mirror, she could plausibly claim any sorts of faulty memories.
Wow, um, maybe try reading that aloud to yourself once or twice? There are a lot of really dumb errors here. (I would list them, but I'm on my phone so it would take forever)
Well, I'll give it a shot and keep following the story for now.
I was kind of hoping that this story was not going to go down this road, but I'll stick around to see how it turns out. It's just that this line of thought seems to happen in ever story like this, it would have been a bit refreshing to see a story built on the pony just being honest.
Also, what kind of version of Celestia is this that Sunset thinks that she is at risk of prison and amputations?
6479989
The same kind of Celestia Twilight thinks her to be?
Wonder if SS will just say "It appears I'm from the future and stuff happened, okay?". But that is so anticlimatic it could accually happen...
6480050
Well, what I meant was that this version of Sunset has a very twisted view of her mentor(someone who would amputate your appendage as a punishment is pretty twisted). I guess that canonically Twilight is intimidated by Celestia, but not in the sense that Celestia would maim her. Anyway, it was not really a serious question.
6479989
The Twilight Syndrome XD
I agree about being honist. So very little do we get to see a pony actually trust celestia with something like time travel. It really strikes me as strange that they always think the absolute worst of a pony that quite literally has been their shepherd for a thousand years.
Wouldn't it be nice if sunset used her knowledge of friendship, in this case honesty. She doesn't have to tell anyone else but I can't see how sunset is going to get Twilight her crown if she doesn't talk to celestia, or you know without some serious help from dues ex. IE crazy plans actually working out due to random chance.
6479989 I'm going to blame an Overactive imagination due to have no real clue what to do.
6479989 Those are the kinds of things the old Sunset would have done. It's not a stretch to assume she would project her reactions onto someone else.