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(Insert witty comment here)


After Cozy Glow is caught and the world is saved, a single mare has the nerve to blame the hero of the hour for the near destruction of Equestria.

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Comments ( 125 )

Not gonna lie? this was actually pretty funny.

And honestly, i could totally see celestia and luna doing that.

Zaki #2 · May 24th, 2020 · · ·

Well this definitely changes everything in terms of education reform. That being said, I adore this lunacy.

That's how the things are going : :trollestia: I'm always right.

Well, I was looking for a reason to break out the booze tonight. I'll do it in memory of Cheerilee.

Canonically no one dies without the Sun in Equestria, we know from the Nightmare Timeline. Where not only was everyone alive but so were all the plants, and there was no snow on the ground.

Though I suppose it’s just as likely, or probably MORE likely, that Nightmare Moon tried the “eternal night” thing, then it started getting cold, she realized she was being stupid (especially since what she wanted was love and affection, which is notoriously difficult to get from frozen corpses), and so started the day/night cycle again, and Twilight just happened to arrive at night since Nightmare Moon didn’t bother syncing anything up with how things used to be.

That or when Twilight arrived it was very shortly after Nightmare took over like say a month or so, enough time to put everyone in line without realizing how stupid your plan is and that it's basically a nuclear winter level event. Meaning the actual dangers wouldn't have started to show themselves just yet. Would it be cold? Yes obviously but not freezing yet I'd think to affect ponies and such given they have fur and ponies IRL can most likely feel cold air even in barns at night. I'd say it take at least a 5 years before the worst case scenario starts happening or happens if they don't figure something out without the sun. Cause it'd happen slowly where as eternal day scorches everything like a desert which is kinda survivable because of cultures and nations that live in such hot temperatures daily.

Hate to be the one to portray that "blind fanboy idiot" stereotype, but I absolutely hated this.


You've got plenty of decent points, I'll admit, but if you want to complain, try interweaving it into a unique and actually enjoyable narrative instead of just shrieking like a deranged street preacher.

Also, just wanted to point out that an entire branch of the Apple family is Oranges, so that cancer joke makes no sense.

“Child psychology, basic organizational skills revolving around planning lessons, child development classes, CPR training...do you really want me to list all the things you need to learn that I bucking know not a single one of you or your minions has any clue about?”

Considering the wording of Cheerilee's accusation, Pinkie should have spoken up about the following sooner.

“Heck if I know. I’ve only got degrees in chemistry, child psychology, a cordon blu ranking in pastries, an EMT certification just in case something goes wrong at a party, and hundreds of hours of personal experience dealing with foals.”

Twilight would have had the high ground on a technicality, since Pinkie would be one qualified teacher at the School of Friendship according to what Cheerilee herself laid out. It's not much, but...

Also, Celestia and Luna, gross abuse of power,10 years dungeon, 10 years death, so says High Empress Flurry Heart of Babbabu.

May I ask how drunk you were when you wrote this? XD

No seriously, what caused this? I am genuinely curious.

Nice. I give you credit that I didn’t even question that one set of credentials was never brought up.

I was staring at my screen with a “wtf?” face when I finished reading this - good job!

Also, Pinkie is a thousand times smarter than she want us to believe

She has exactly zero space to talk herself

Seriously with the jab towards Sunset Shimmer??

Or just suspend your disbelief and enjoy the story?

Not sure if you're being serious, but there's not a real moral to this one. It's just a fun story saying "What if Cheerilee was pissed off by the apparent lack of certification in Twilight's school and decided to flex her 'real teacher' certifications."

Lemongrab -- Thousand Years Dungeon.

The part that made me laugh the hardest was Celestia wanting to ban the word "lunacy". It reminded me of the running gag in Cinemare Sins that Cadance trademarked the word "crystal".

I saw the punchline coming, but it makes a lot of sense. Also, I was half-expecting Smolder to be sent to Tartarus for disagreeing with Celestia.


Writers: ".....sure, let's go with that."


Cheerilee is pretty much incompetent on her own, considering how often Diamond Tiara got away with bullying. Not to mention her mother openly insulting the students.
Not unrealistic or uncommon among teachers in real life, sadly.

Ah pinky. Always the sensible one.

It's actually perfect.

This is terrible. :D
I mean, so hilarious that I've had to stifle laughter to avoid waking sleeping housemates up, but, you know, in universe terrible. :D

In the sequel, have cheerilee part of the legion of doom.
Her motives may include the abuse of power and what she knows about twilights facualty.

All hail the Empress and Parliament!

Pinkie is best pony.

10249314 Funny how Sombra was pretty much doing the same thing as them.

My original post was a bit curt, and for that I apologize. That being said, I still stand by my opinion.

The whole "character suddenly starts screaming in disapproval" routine felt dangerously Reality Check-esque, and he always meant it whenever he wrote. If the attempt was meant to be funny (which I do believe was part of the author's intent), it didn't work on me—I don't find someone shrieking like a deranged street preacher entertaining. It's hard for me to escape the notion that the author just shoved themselves into Cheerliee as an excuse to complain about the school, then haphazardly slapped a few nonsensical jokes onto it to justify their tangent (see "Oranges cause cancer" and the Student Six randomly deciding to hold the Idiot Ball in order to one-sidedly glorify Cheerilee's point). Seriously, take away all the asides and this fic's practically a blog post.

I don't find glorified blog posts funny or entertaining. Maybe I'm just falling victim to Poe's Law, but either way, I don't like this story and I don't understand what everyone else sees in it beyond "Yay, the author thinks the school sucks!"

This was really a joy to read:pinkiehappy:

Also I wouldn't mind a sequel in which Cheerilee escapes and plots her revenge


I've been wondering how pissed Cheerilee must be, with her one room red schoolhouse, at this private, uncertified, ostentatious monument to nepotism built with taxpayer funds from the royal treasury.

Similar questons about what the heck actually gets taught in this school, how old these students are supposed to be, and what degree in "friendship" is good for led me to writing a whole huge blog post about it. Basically, I determined that it's the equivalent of a theology degree and it's basically a Friendship Madrassa.

All things being considered if religious institutions taught friendship, tolerance and no useful skills I would gladly support the resulting class of idiots. At least they wouldn't be lynching gays or flying planes into buildings.

"What's that? You want to come in and tell me about your message of love, genuine tolerance and how your goddess moves the sun? If we disagree you'll leave peacefully and not even try to burn me alive a little bit?"


Also before anyone takes unnecessary umbrage with my post, I have no problem with religion or the religious, just fanaticism in general, which religion tends to breed in a certain kind of person.

... well, Cheerlie has a point.

Also in the canon, the school-idea it's pretty stupid (and don't get me wrong, I love the Student Six)

A glorified blog post seems accurate from the title to the person who wrote the story. Considering past stories.

I feel compelled to agree as well in some regard that Cheerilee has a point. Five out of six of Twilight's friends not having the proper certification to be a teacher is a grave flaw. However, as I recall, Twilight's school does not follow the same school formula as others do by the EEA. She's free to educate the students however she wish, and will most likely be protected by not only the princesses, but also allied species (Griffins, Dragons, etc.) that endorses Twilight's school. Twilight has more influence and political power than she lets on because of this. The thought of ending the school could risk weakening relationships with other species, so only the latter of Cheerilee's recommendation should be accepted: hire certified teachers.

It's not impossible to find teachers that can teach about core subjects and friendship, Starlight pulled it off. Speaking of Starlight, I feel that the author missed a chance to have Cheerilee confront Starlight as a counselor, since child psychology would have to be Starlight's department.

The very loud and female voice of dissent made everyone blink in confusion. After looking around, the crowd pulled back between Twilight’s group and said mare. Everupony who was part of Twilight’s entourage looked on in surprise as the purple princess said what they were all thinking. “Ms Cheerilee?”

I believe you meant "Everypony", right?

I see nothing wrong with this being 100% cannon.

Great fun too :rainbowlaugh:

DannyJ #35 · May 24th, 2020 · · 2 ·

Hrmm. I'm torn. On the one hand, I did find the story funny, and I agree with Cheerilee on pretty much every point. I've spent no small amount of time arguing the exact same points myself. But on the other, I can't help but agree with 10249883 that this is less Cheerilee and more an author mouthpiece with her name. That's not a good thing, and I can't overlook it just because I agree with the mouthpiece this time.


It's more of a commentary on the problems with American education system with the people at the top only caring about appearances, the people running the individual schools just wanting to impress the bosses, and the teachers who for various reasons don't want to be there (or just plain shouldn't) while the one person who does call out the stuff is the one that gets in trouble while the teachers who are qualified and know what they're doing keep their heads down and their mouths shut.

I was kinda hoping for Cheerliee to win the argument...

Great story, I feel like this should be in the show.

Now this fic is a good shitpost of a fic. :pinkiehappy:

Cheerilee would have a point, if not for one point. The school of friendship focuses on friendship, not all the other things she listed. If you go to a school focused on computers, you’re not there to learn CPR. If you go to a school focused on art, you’re not gonna learn chemistry. If you go to a school focused on military, you’re not gonna learn financial management. If you go to a school focused on dancing, you’re not gonna learn biology. Her points are all invalid because, unlike regular schools, Twilight’s school focuses on a single subject. And technically speaking, unlike Cheerilee‘s school, the mane 6’s teachings have made an actual difference in the world. To a ridiculous degree, if the Changelings and spread of harmony magic is anything to go by.

I think all the timelines shared the same present time, since the Map was serving as an anchor.

As for the fic.. well, I can understand her frustrations, but I'm sure there was a more amicable outcome. Like, say, a tripling of the Ponyville education budget so she can move up to Headmare over a nice three-storey building with teachers for every class.


I think all the timelines shared the same present time, since the Map was serving as an anchor.

I think so too, but then again it's reasonable to assume that, because of the changed timelines, events don't necessarily play out at the same "speed".

For example, Nightmare Moon's time of release is probably fixed, but with Twilight not around in the Nightmare Timeline, Celestia may have taken other steps to try and deal with Nightmare Moon once she escaped which meant that, though Nightmare Moon was free, she wasn't able to immediately take over Equestria. I dunno, Celestia and Cadance dueled her or something and were able to drive her back but she slowly gained power and blah blah blah, doesn't matter, the point is that Nightmare Moon didn't necessarily take over on the Longest Day of the Thousandth year, but later.

That being said I'm still inclined to think that, if Equestria depended upon the sun for heat, then any version of Nightmare Moon taking over is going to show a cold world unless the takeover was very recent. About ten years ago on a different website I was part of a group that crunched some numbers about how quickly the Earth would lose heat if the Sun's light and heat output disappeared overnight (the premise was some aliens are assholes and enclose the sun in a sort of Dyson sphere).

To summarize, by the third day without the sun the temperature would have dropped notably. After about a week the average surface temperature would be 0 degrees Celsius. There'll be some regional variation - it'll stay warmer near the oceans, for example - but after a year the Earth's average surface temperature would be -73 degrees Celsius, and maybe one or two years after that the Earth would be just ten degrees above absolute zero. Although, fun fact, we determined that we actually have the technology and infrastructure in existence right now to save tens of thousands, possibly millions, of people, in various mines, underground bunkers, and so on that were properly insulated and heated (and started funneling down liquid and solid oxygen for air once the oxygen began to freeze on the surface). Oh, yes, 99% of humans would die, but humanity could live and potentially even start to thrive over time.

But anyway I'm not interested in the long-term effects here, just that unless Nightmare Moon had just put away the Sun like a couple days ago, then there should have been notable freezing effects going on at least. Ice and rime and snow and Twilight and Spike commenting on the cold. Since there is none of that, and Nightmare Moon appears to have been in control of Equestria long enough to fix up the Castle of the Two Sisters, form a personal guard, and so on, then it can be logically inferred that Equestria in the show just doesn't need the Sun for heat.

It's stupid, and I don't like it, and personally I ignore it when writing fanfictions. But it's what we were shown in canon.

But there's also canon evidence of Equestria depending on the sun for heat (heck, they sing about it in Winter Wrap Up), so in fact the only logical conclusion is the one you ended your original post with.

Well, yeah, or that. Now that I remember I posted that I prefer that.


A month of no sun anywhere would be considerably colder than that. Heck, three days of no sun anywhere would be considerably colder than that.

Umm, this is a joke story.

So all of this is just a joke.

So, uh.........

Spoiled is/was head of the school board. If Cheerilee tried doing anything I am sure she'd have been fired.


Yes, totally agreed

Pinkie Pie shrugged. “Heck if I know. I’ve only got degrees in chemistry, child psychology, a cordon blu ranking in pastries, an EMT certification just in case something goes wrong at a party, and hundreds of hours of personal experience dealing with foals.”

Nice to know one of them had some idea of how to bluff being a teacher. too bad they probably wrote it off as pinkie being pinkie.
other than that, I'm hazy on the actual ages of the student six in regards to the cmc so can't really comment on their education. I
I used to assume they were college students and the school of friendship was a community college.

Dan #50 · May 24th, 2020 · · 1 ·

This was funny until the end. Tia and Lulu would never!

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