• Member Since 14th Dec, 2013
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LordBrony2040


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A few days after the Nightmare Moon Incident, Spike awakens to find Twilight acting a little...odd. Or odder than usual anyway. All of a sudden she's being all motherly, sure of herself in ways she's never been before, and even more outgoing.

But…it’s kind of creepy how she just seems to know everypony’s name, or their habits, and even some stuff nopony else should know.

But she's still good old Twilight...right?

Featured 5/28/2014

Chapters (11)
Comments ( 1325 )

This looks very good! Please dont let it crash and burn. Also is fix everything suppose to be some big evil thing or all the misadventures they had?

Wow, this is very well written and I love the concept! I will definitely be watching this story.

This concept comes up pretty frequently in fan fiction, but I have yet to see it done with this show, so you've got me interested. No obvious grammatical or spelling errors, and your dialogue is fast paced, but in the fun, comprehensible sort of way. From the glimpse you've given me, I already like Twilight in this. She's overcome some of her most glaring flaws, while remaining recognizable as Twilight Sparkle.

In short, this looks great and I can't wait for more.

I kinda wonder how Spike will adjust to Twilight s-mothering him so much, and how it would affect his actions with Rarity.

Really, the other elements will probably have the easiest time dealing with this, since they've only known her a couple of days, but Spike, Celestia, Cadance and Twilight's Family all have a lot to adjust to (For instance, her parents suddenly being grandparents and their daughter being a single mother)

Ahhh,.... I think I see what happened here...

Are we talking a "Quantum Leap" scenario?
Or a "full life time in an hour" scenario?
Or a "Scrooge-dream" scenario?

Uh...
I have no idea what I just read. :twilightsheepish:

I'm certain that I won't like this story once the "Dark" tag kicks in...
but so far it was interesting, yet Twilight feels very... unhinged.

4022796 We'll she's probably from so far in the future that at least the EoH are dead if not Spike so she's just so excited to see her friends and dragon when he was a baby or even alive. I've only seen this done once and that was with the G4 ponies being replaced with their G1 counterparts (RD = Firefly, Fluttershy = Posey, and Pinkie Pie = Surprise). However that story hasn't been updated for so long it's basically dead. If anybody knows any other stories like this where Twilight from the end of series comes the beginning again I'd love to read them.

I am really liking this unstable Twilight. Trixie may be in for a beating. I feel bad for her though. Maybe this time she doesn't let Snips and Snails be idiots.

Also, what about Applebuck Season or are you only going to do select episodes?

4030019

Episodes where Twilight really didn’t do much beyond talk will just get a quick mention with something like Applejack remembering a short speech Twilight gave her in the next chapter, while things like Boast Busters that had heavy Twilight involvement will get a chapter and other chapters that just have common sense changes that completely alter the plot will also get a short chapter.

Quick TS line from Dragonshy chapter: “Princess Celestia wants me to take a baker, a seamstress, a farmer, and animal caretaker to go slay a dragon. Yeah…not gonna happen.” :twilightangry2:

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“Princess Celestia wants me to take a baker, a seamstress, a farmer, and animal caretaker to go slay a dragon.

Ha! I used pretty much same line in another story.

When will the Future Princess explain her hatred for Princess Sunbutt?

I thought Spike didn't want anything to do with the Gala, either...

4030192

Probably at the next to last chapter if all the readers haven't figured it out by then that is

This is awesome!!!! It now must be faved.

The premise of this story intrigues me :pinkiegasp:

I guess our future Twilight finally saw Celestia for what a devious puppeteer she had been, eh? :trixieshiftright:


With his caretaker in such distress, he doubted the national part of her mind would switch back on anytime soon to try a rather obvious answer.

I think you meant "rational"?

Oh Faust... Twilight is going to smear the floor with Trixie and that Ursa... isn't she? :pinkiegasp:

Also... I think that you're portraying Twilight as a bit too... panicky. :twilightoops:
True, she was lied to most of her life and lead on a "leash" but...
some of those lessons were pretty important and Twilight long
learned how to relax a bit...

Did she come back in time after all of her friends died, including Spike? :fluttershbad:
Is that why she keeps talking to herself and acting so... unhinged?

Will she do something to... Celestia? :pinkiecrazy:

4030183
That's a perfect team for a D&D session!

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Panic isn’t just a mental function, it’s also biological. If a person is stressed out or panicky about stuff for a long time, that becomes their biological norm even when its stuff they know she shouldn‘t be stressing out about. It takes a lot of work to fix, you don't just flip a switch. While Twilight’s consciousness is old, her subconscious and body are back to being Twilight classic.

The other problem is that Twilight knows the Elements of Harmony friendship is an absolute, like a law of the universe and it has been for some time. Twilight doesn't have a perfect memory and actually remembers Ponyville with some pretty heavily tinted rose colored glasses. To see her friends all fighting amongst each other over something as ridiculous as the 3G would be the equivalent of someone turning the gravity off in our world. It freaked her out.

This looks promising, but I'm wary... very wary of the dislike for Celestia and what it might imply. She seems to miss the loss of her wings and magic—at least in the sense that she keeps expecting them to be there—but she's also pretty accepting of the loss. The vagueness makes it hard to tell at this point if her resentment of Celestia extends to her alicornhood, which would kind of kill it for me. If this is inspired by that one fic where she survives until the heat-death of the universe, I'll be really disappointed :fluttercry:

On the bright side, it does seem well enough written to not just be "snarky Twilight snarky snarks all the fridge logic in the show," though only just (no offense). With stories like these, it's extremely important that the "solutions" cause their own unique problems. Twilight freaking out about her friends arguing is good! If it wasn't there, though, I think you'd have a problem. It's just so very, very difficult to cover canon events without boring readers out of their minds.

All that said, I do have one out-and-out complaint, which is the description. I very nearly passed this by because the description makes it sound like a first-person background pony account of the show. The only reason I didn't pass it by was because I scrolled down to the comments to see if I could figure out who the protagonist was, as they didn't appear to be tagged. :facehoof:

Chapter 2:
...
Nope. I still have no idea what I just read. :twilightsheepish:

I love how whatever cataclysm happened that led to Twilight Quantum Leaping like this didn't cure her of her more adorable neurotic tendencies. I'm also very interested to find out exactly what happened to make Twilight hate Celestia this much. I very much look forward to more of this.

There are a plethora of minor errors that need fixing. Get a prereader.

A couple of less minor errors:

the anchorage of Sweet Apple Acers

Uhhhh...think you meant "the acreage of Sweet Apple Acres" there. :rainbowderp:

Please don’t tell me the princess didn’t forget to send my comic book collection.

So Spike WANTS the Princess to forget to send his comic collection? :rainbowhuh:

Brilliant chapter, I loved how Twilight completely demolished :trixieshiftleft:'s ego.

Next one ASAP please, this story is fantastic :pinkiehappy:

Comment posted by Zamairiac deleted Mar 6th, 2014

The magical term Abaracadabra is believed to come from an Aramaic phrase meaning “I create as I speak.”

One) you mispelled it in the author's comment, but got it right in the chapter title.
Two) That's probably not where it came from, although you'll find people who'll agree with you. The exact origin is pretty darn vague.

As for this chapter... I see nothing but good things coming from Future-Twilight's mass display of power in front of the entirety of Ponyville. :twilightoops:

Wait, Future-Twilight is sending Present-Celestia Friendship reports? :duck:

Great story -- very fun to read.

That she is "keeping score" too much is making her seem creepy in the eyes of her friends. I see that coming back to bite her in the flank at some time. She thinks she is creating better bonds faster, but the bonds aren't even close to the same bonds. She has to be REALLY careful with Celestia as well or she will not trust her with the unfinished spell when the time comes.

The realization she had in the chapter prior that Celestia must have been waiting with the reply already done was very good as well.

Heh, take that, Trix :rainbowlaugh:
I guess the alicorn amulet incident either won't happen at all in the future, or Trixie will try to take her revenge on Twilight with double the ferocity :trixieshiftright:

4043547

Shhh!

But in all dishonesty...she may be, she may not be, I can't say.

Since the first arc is going to give as little as it can into Twilight's mindset as possible. I can't just show a scene with her writing her thoughts on a chapter without doing just that. The big question is: What is really going through Twilight's head? Was she really thankful when she was talking about RD, or being manipulative to have the others realize Dash's value a little ahead of schedule.

On the other hand, she did just make a big speech that translates to: "this is what I learned about performers today". So she could very well be writing real letters on friendship and still learning from her friends, picking up on things she missed before thanks to her inexperience.

Of course Celestia does come to Ponyville a few times, so they might actually talk about it when that time comes. Until then the let the theories run wild.

4043547

She is expected to. If she didn't then she would never be trusted for certain events in the future -- plus Celly would figure something was really wrong. She has to swallow her pride and write them.

Odd, I've heard that "abracadabra" originally meant "Father, Son, Holy Spirit": "Ab, Bar, Ruakh Kodesh".


And I'm glad the Ursa Minor incident was effectively nullified.

Chapter 1: Haha, some brony got Twilight's body and is fangasming all over everyone
Chapter 2: No wait, Future Twilight has Twilight's body and is reminiscing over happier times than her dark future.
Chapter 3: Holy shit Twilight is a brony.
Directed by M. Night Shyamalan

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:pinkiegasp:
WHAT A TWIST!

What can I say, couldn't resist :twilightblush:

4043573 The real question is does she even actually need Celestia to trust her with Starswirl's spellbook? She has already shown to know magic from beyond her alicornhood, so if the need arises, what's stopping her from completing the spell at any time to ascend? Don't tell me she needs a dusty journal to remember that spell, there's no way she doesn't have it memorized. I pity whoever draws her that far, and can't wait for everyone's (read: Celestia's) reaction when it does happen...

...If it does happen... (O'PLEASEO'PLEASEO'PLEASE)

Can't wait till that time comes!:pinkiecrazy:

...and updates! I can't wait for updates! This story is amazing!

4044411

Since she encountered Celestia on the planes, that it requires all of the elements, and even if she can avoid scrambling the destinies initially, I would guess that yes, even if she had the spell memorized, it might not work the way she wanted if she tried to do it without Celestia's foreknowledge and approval (not to mention the right mindset etc of the other elements).

I would say there are very few places she could sneak it in, and all of those were dangerous times. I mean she could try it at Discord's release technically.

4044512 Other than Celestia's (wonderful) exposition solo nothing really seemed to happen "on the other side", and Luna's abscence indicates that it's not really a requirement for her to be there either, you could say that Celestia was a guide, but do you need a guide the second time you've been somewhere? And I would also contest that there's no reason that she'd need to scramble and un-scramble their destinies, she'd only to complete (and by that I mean cast) the spell. (unless the spell exists only to unscramble destinies previously scrambled by the spell's own miscasting, in which case :facehoof:)

4044775

Yes, she doesn't seem like she is holding in her angst well enough. Of course if the letters are going through Spike, he could be toning them down a bit...

"Celestia, you mule," said Twilight.
"Dear Princess Celestia," wrote Spike.

4043966

Odd, I've heard that "abracadabra" originally meant "Father, Son, Holy Spirit": "Ab, Bar, Ruakh Kodesh".

That's one of the other most common possible "origins" for the phrase.

Hmmm... That was nice but I think Twilight could have been a little bit more...

POWERFUL

So Twilight is speeding up the process of friendshipping... why?
Is there a really nasty threat that puts her on a time limit?
Or is there something that Celestia does?
Is that what the dark tag is there for?

And why is Twilight recreating the Elements of Harmony in her basement?

This story gets more intriguing yet again. Sooner or later Twilight's not going to be able to cover her very public slips, and ponies are going to get suspicious. Also, is it just me, or does this version of Twilight read like a player ziplining through the Social Links in a New Game + of Persona?

Aha! A dragon ass-kicking! It's always nice to have one of those.

Anyway, I think Spike just witnessed something that's getting him thinking. Maybe it has something to do with the aforementioned dragon ass-kicking? :trixieshiftright:

bet spike either now has a crush on rainbow, wants to be turned into a pony or want twilight to become a dragon

When you diverge from a pre-existing timeline, your "own" timeline ceases to exist.
It's the "Back to the Future 2" problem.
It's a shame that time/space is actually more fragile than the wibbly-wobbly... stuff.

Uhoh -- Fluttershy lost a MAJOR growth moment here. She is really messing up the other elements.

And Dash *REALLY* wouldn't want Fluttershy used as a template anyway.

And yep Twi, you just lost a chance at having the elements... Stupidx6 indeed.

Bet Spike wants a turn as something else.

The Awesome Dragon Slayer Rainbow Dash has a nice ring to it. :rainbowdetermined2:

Looking good, though there's a minor grammatical issue:

Spike was staring that all the stories might be true, despite their contradictions.

I'm not sure what you meant here, but I suspect that's not quite right. :duck:

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