Sunset Shimmer, personal student of Princess Celestia, is the most gifted Unicorn in Equestria. She has long-neglected personal connections in favor of studying and ambition. Celestia, concerned by her student's behavior, searches for a way to help her student grow as a pony. As a last resort, her thoughts turn to Starswirl's Magic Mirror, that it could show Sunset a new way, or to a path of darkness, but then something or rather somepony comes as her solution. Sunset now finds herself teaching her own student, a bookish and anti-social young Unicorn named Twilight Sparkle. Can the two form an actual connection, or will their anti-social tendencies lead to disaster?
(A What if scenario where instead of showing Sunset Shimmer the Magic Mirror Celestia brings Twilight Sparkle to her to teach)
A what-if story about Sunset Shimmer becoming a mentor to a young Twilight Sparkle instead of seeing the magic mirror?
Seriously, I really like the concept to this story and I'm interested to see where this goes! Definitely tracking this!
11171617
Thanks, I felt like it would be an interesting story to write, where Twilight is Sunset's student rather than Sunset being hers.
This is a very interesting story. I like it!
11171638
Thanks.
11171675
You're welcome. I'll be willing to see how Sunset will work things out with Twilight.
Very interesting. This story's got a pretty solid concept and I look forward to future chapters.
That being said, there's some spots where this could use a little more polish. There are spots where there are commons used instead of periods and spots where a comma should be placed. I'd recommend less capitalization since there's parts where it's not needed. There's also a spot where you wrote "suit" instead of "suite" and vice versa.
Lastly, and I may be wrong to use "Ms." as an honorific for Twilight since, at least as I've been taught, it's meant for engaged women. You may want to go with "Miss" instead.
"I guess I move too fast for the lessons," Sunset said with some pride that even Princess Celestia was having to work to come up with something Sunset did not already know. "But why was I not told of this sooner."
"Princess Celestia sent a message to your journal this morning, you must have just missed it. Anyway, she said for you to take the rest of the day off and suggested you take the time to do something other than shut yourself in your suite and read, perhaps go out and find a friend."
This mirror, which along with creating a portal to another world every thirty moons, could also show a glimpse of possible futures to the viewer.
Or
This mirror, which along with creating a portal to another world every thirty moons, could also show glimpses of possible futures to the viewer.
At the other end of the room was a pair of potted plants also covered in the same violet aura, though the plants and floating Judges were not what caught Sunset's attention.
"Trust me you will know it once you've started at the school. Oh, and congrats on the Cutie Mark, suits a student at this school."
And if she proved to be as skilled as Sunset expected it might be worth it to keep her close, she might prove useful when Sunset became a Princess.
Or
And if she proved to be as skilled as Sunset expected it might be worth keeping her close, she might prove useful when Sunset became a Princess.
It can't be given to you sunset, you have to earn it!
Wait, that's possible?
That's not it sunset.
Idk sunset, this might be a step to a change that's gonna happen for you.
This is an interesting idea that I've seen a few times before but not very well made. I'm curous to see how this will go.
Let's see:
Adorable filly Twilight paired with smug, haughty, and unfriendly Sunset.
Definitely the grounds for a great story.
Sunset helping Twilight after her magical flare is a good way to get their relationship off the ground.
So far so good 👍. I await more chapters patiently
A nice start off and I can't wait to read more.
This has some good potential. I look forward to more updates.
Awesome! I would love to read more of this!
Have to say, so far, this story does have potential. Definitely liked the start. Very little I can say that other reviewers haven't already said better, but I could certainly see where Sunset and Twilight COULD have positive influences on each other if they met early enough (Sunset helping Twilight learn to work through at least a few of her worse issues concerning Celestia [as Sunset can act as a good voice of experience there] and Twilight helping Sunset gradually realize just where she was going at her pursuits wrong).
And, indeed, I could see, when the time was right (still about a decade and a half away) where they could eventually end up both earning ascension at the same time.
Your ideas are intriguing to me, and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.
Quite a decent start. I do look forward to what comes next.
11171819
only information we have about sunset are
1.hothead
2.friendless
3.want to be alicorn
4.felt betrayed by celestia
and that's about it. the sunset in eg1 is sunset that survived in human world for 3 years. resolved to take alicornhood by any mean possible.
that's why, this sunset is completely a possibility. just like adopted orphan sunset that sad fics seems to liked.
11184697
Yeah, sometimes I forget how different she was when eqg first started.
11184697
Yeah… and it wasn’t until eg2 or 3 that they made her more than “sun themed Twilight + alpha bitch” and gave her a less science talent and much more artistic stuff.
She was kinda flat in the beginning. I don’t recall the origin comic giving too much more than reinforcing what eg1 gave.
I would love to see what happens next also great chapter
Hm...Sunset's easy acceptance of Twilight Sparkle as her apprentice was a little surprising but not terribly disruptive. I am curious where you could go with this. Although, I wonder just how old Sunset is compared to Twilight?
When can we expect an update it's been 9 months.
Bruv finish this.
11434820
Due to the success the first chapter has had it is going to become one of my priority stories, after a story I have on Archive, so hopefully it'll not be too long before I can get more out.
11504207
Got it thx.
Can I just say I love this idea I was just hoping it's not dead please if you're alive will this continue please be a yes🥺
Interesting story. Hope to see more.
Shame this didn't get least a couple of chapters, I'm kinda curious where this went after the pilot!