• Member Since 29th Oct, 2020
  • offline last seen 41 minutes ago

Revanius


Sometimes it's hard to smile, but that does not mean to stop trying

T

It all seemed to be finished, Sunset Shimmer had been defeated by a magic rainbow laser, and she tearfully apologized and said she wanted to learn a new way through friendship and Twilight asked her new friends to help the defeated bully to learn while she and Spike returned with the crown to Equestria, after celebrating the formal of course. When the formal ended Twilight said goodbye to her friends and she and Spike stepped through the portal to return home, only to walk into the statue. They missed their chance and were trapped in the human world.

With no known way home and unable to communicate with their friends the two Equestrians have to adjust to earth life while searching for a way to reopen the portal while dealing with a repentant Sunset Shimmer.

(Hiatus Note: I currently have Four projects on A03 Archive and have not had the time to write here lately. Will return to this once one of those projects is more complete)

Chapters (11)
Comments ( 94 )

Interesting. I’m tracking this for sure. :trollestia:

Y'know, I've always wanted to read a scenario like this.

Oh i can't wait to how it all is gonna go

A story that took place after the Fall Formal incident, but Princess Twilight gets trapped instead of returning back to her home world?

I'm definitely following this story! :pinkiesmile:

Well interesting, unless the Book doesn't work, or this Sunset didn't bring it with her, they should, at least, be able to contact Equestria.

Weather any other Pony but Twilight could use that book to open the portal is a while different kettle of fish though.

There is also the possibility that so soon after the portal closes that the magic between the books isn't strong enough to work and it takes a few days-weeks before the portal has enough charge to let the message get through.

Will be looking forward to see how this goes.

Well, you pulled my interest in with the premise. Let's see where this goes. :trixieshiftright:

Sign me on, I'm in. Looking forward to this. :raritywink:

Enjoyed it, can't wait for the next chapter

I'm worried for the fact that Equestria has to deal with Tirek without Twilight.

Verh good concept and idea, I hope I can see where this is going.

I hope this goes to some great places, because in my mind the reason we and I want to read this story, is that their going to be major consquencese.

No mcguffin fun, no late night night pinkie saves the day with her noodle of doom. Lol

You got this. I believe in you, just follow through with your premise and will be very well to be a great writer.

Your premise is essentially. Two things.
1. Sunset is repentant after mind pooped by magic naughty rocks? Creepy much? You can roll with this creepy or not? This has potential drama, aka sunset maybe was good or, more complex?

After all Twilight is really in love blasting things with lasers? Of friendship?

2. The consquences. Now this will be interesting, you can take this any which way as long as THEY ARE REAL AND LASTING. Now it is pretty clear in the show that things, do and do not change all pop time. Random?

My take , go hard into this angle and you will, have a fine story heck mix the too. Wouldnt Sunset care about her former home? Does equatrian magic shift if cut off after a laser-ing? Lasering?

3. Should you show the consquence before the characters know about it? Like say AJ has a point of view and handles the , whats going on bit. Im honestly not sure? So idk?

4. This is just a fun aside but it WOULD be epic level shade to throw on if IF, you make Celestia just not freak over all this business. After all her track record for always is just to sit around and do nothing?

Just saying you could take this so many ways. Perhaps with Twilight gone they all and everyone in ponyville ascends because the PLOT, is not interfering with the natural growth of a well written character.
.
But hay , thats just a theory....a....pony theory!!!wow wow.

Thank you and I am open to crictism of the above thoughts. This is just my fun, thought expriment with a dash of honest feedback. I hope you take it with grain of salt. I enjoyed what I read so far.

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These are all interesting concepts, some I hadn't really taken into consideration but I will now. I do plan on showing the consequences of Twilight's absence in a reasonable manner without taking too much time away from the main characters of the story (Twilight, Sunset, and the Human Five) eventually, and yeah the effects of Sunset being blasted will be looked into in time, once it's effects become more apparent.

Hope you like where the story goes and I'm always open to feedback on my stories.

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The "kindest" interpretation to Sunset's Heel Face Turn usuallly is the Friendship Laser acting like a sort of Penance Stare rather than magical lobotomy.

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I like your comment! Heres a joke!

You when I got my magical lobotomy it felt like whiplash from my personality shift.

No!
Where'd my sarcasm go? Lol

Can't wait to see what the next chapter holds for sunset and princess twilight

I was kinda expecting some more outlandish reaction after Twilight found herself (with Spike) trapped in the human world. But it's fine enough. In fact, I like how ambiguous the narration is.

If she wasn't trapped Twilight might have laughed, in fact, she probably did laugh judging by the concerned looks she could feel her friends giving her.

Can't wait for the next chapter, this one was really good tho.

Great chapter! Poor Twilight and Spike trapped in the human world and couldn't go home for the time being. Thank goodness that the girls are helping her.

Also, very clever with the meaning behind the story title after this sentence:

A minute, she and Spike were trapped in the human world, cut off from their friends and family because a clocktower had been set back a single minute.

It's also refreshing that Rainbow Dash is actually helping Sunset Shimmer instead of acting hostile towards her like other Sunset's redemption fics out there. Granted, she (as well as the rest of the girls) has the right to be mad at Sunset for what she did, but it gets kinda tiring to see Rainbow Dash be the only one in the group who trusted Sunset the least.

Still, I can't wait for the next chapter! :twilightsmile:

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Thanks and this story was a little inspired by something I was thinking when rewatching the first movie, the portal closed almost immediately after they entered so even a minute later would have left them trapped. And yeah I just wanted to make a story where Rainbow Dash is not antagonistic, I'm guessing people got her suspicious side from her more legitimate suspicion of Discord in the show.

Well crap, had she used it Sunset and Twi would have jumped on the effort. Now, Sunset is going to assume that the book doesn't work and will hold off even trying until they exhaust all other options.

I mean, the Princess would reach out for Twilight, wouldn't she? So the books must not work.

For such an old Pony, Tia can sure be foolish.

Well, my head canon reaction about what Rainbow will do is canon here, lol...

Too bad, Celestia give up before she even trying, at least she has her own reason to not use it albeit it's leaning towards cynicism.

No, I don't think Velvet is wrong and it can be even worse.

I like what you did here.

You added narrative consequences, and now we can see how all the characters survive without their leader. I am thrilled to read this!

Though I disagree with some of your choices in regarding character and narrative, I will not disparage them.

Cheers on the job well done!
Here's a Trixie. Because she cool mare. She cool mare. cool mare.... cool mare....... cool mare...
:trixieshiftright: Trixieislife 😉

I totally feel for Velvet here. I mean if my kids got trapped in a whole other dimension I would be pretty pissed about it too.

I love where this is going!

"I'm sorry Mrs. Sparkle, but it's really not a prank, it's the truth."

I know this is a nitpick, but wouldn’t Rainbow refer to her as “Mrs. Velvet”, since that’s her last name?

(I might be wrong, though.)

Hm, interesting with Sunset wanting to go back to Equestria and face Celestia rather then staying. Usually Celestia's one of the reasons Sunset doesn't want to go back. Given on how she's usually written, the worst "punishment" Sunset will have "suffer" through is a bone-crinching hug from her former mentor after how long she's missed her.
Wonder how long its gonna be before the journal is brought out.

While I'm dissappointed Celestia didn't try, I can understand why, as she's considering options while going on completely blind. She has no idea what's going on on the other side, and what occured, not to mention whether Twilight succeeded in getting the element of Magic back. So, the ball is in the other dimension's court now as far as she's concerned. Wouldn't've minded a metaphorical passing of the ball in the form of her trying though.
At least Pinkie's positive and hopeful as usual.

Sunset was defeated and wants to reform but it's time for Twilight and Spike to return to Equestria, except when they try the portal is sealed leaving the two trapped in the human world, possible forever

This doesn't read well, change it to Sunset was defeated and wants to reform, but it's time for Twilight and Spike to return to Equestria, except when they try the portal is closed, leaving the two trapped in the human world, possibly forever.

I look forward to your be next chapter.

Almost forgot how long it's been since a new chapter came out since I've been busy reading other stories but enjoyed this one. Even laughed at the part where the cmc burnt the breakfast, it gave me flashbacks with it happened in MLP FIM. But glad to see a new chapter and hope to see the next one soon.

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Yeah trying for a little lighter story compared to my other one. It'll still have its serious moments but it will have a lot more humorous moments. That's also contributing to the difficulty in getting parts out.

I was waiting for this! Nice job!

I honestly felt really bad for Twi at the beginning there, with the dream. Hopefully things get better

Looking forward to reading more of this story.

I have never published any of my work. I am always self conscious of it. The only way I have found to move on to even the next chapter is to put down my work, forget about it for a few days, and then read it from a different perspective. If when I read it aloud it sounds alright or good, I move on. If it sounds off, I fix it. If it sounds horrible, I scrap it and try again.

I wonder how this day is going to go? I hope Sunset will be be given a chance to explain herself and what drove her to act the way she did.

Almost forgot about this story since I've been bury reading other ones lately but glad to see a new chapter

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Yeah, it's taking a while to get each chapter out, hopefully, the next one won't take a whole month to finish.

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Right next chapter... sorry everyone been reading The Enchanted Library, lost track of time.

Loving this story. Added to my read list. :twilightsmile:

Nice to see this story updated again. :raritystarry:

It is a nice break chapter of them hanging around at the mall, even though it was split into groups. I can understand why Rarity wasn't willing ready to hang out with Sunset yet. It would take some time before Rarity could forgive Sunset. :applejackunsure:

It was also a nice moment for Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie to convince Sunset to play a video game with them, which is a nice touch as Sunset's introduction of her love to video games. And Spike being forced to take a bath by the CMCs was funny! :rainbowlaugh:

Keep up the good work! :pinkiesmile:

Yeah, Raity would be hesitant to trust Sunset, especially after the Spring Flong debacle.

Yay new chapter. I missed you.
Nice to see you updated the story

"Well..." Twilight looked down at herself then in the dressing room mirror getting a full view of herself. Rarity had put her in a sleeveless lavender dress that just reached her knees that was pulled tight around her waist, combined with the 'heels' as Rarity called the stilted shoes, Twilight felt like if she took two steps she would either fall down or pass out, neither of which she was keen on doing. Still...

yeah, I don't think she would want to walk in heels all day, also I'm picturing Twilight is wearing the same dress Sci Twi wore in the party scene from Spring Breakdown.

"Rarity she needs something she can move in, just look at the stuff ya picked out," Applejack held up a pair of dresses Rarity had grabbed when they first entered the clothing store. "If Twilight ends up stayin' she'll need practical clothes, not just dresses."

agreed.

"Not the first time she did it either," Applejack said. "Remember freshman year when ya found out Rainbow Dash had never worn a skirt?" Rarity blushed as Applejack continued. "This one here nearly had a heart attack then tried to drag Rainbow Dash to the mall in the middle of a school day!"

sometimes there are girls who just don't like them. My sister is starting to not like them that much herself.

"Well, these strange machines are the perfect way to make you feel more comfortable! You have no idea how easy it is to form a bond after playing a game together!"

yep, I can agree with that. :pinkiehappy:

Sunset was the dumbest genius in the world, how had she lived in the human world for so many years and ignored these amazing machines. Five minutes in and she couldn't take her eyes off the screen as she and Rainbow blasted away at the aliens. It was oddly soothing seeing the alien ships blown to bits, like a little of her tension was in each one, and blasting it away brought her more at ease. Before she knew it they were on their third game and still going strong, Rainbow leading by nearly a thousand points but Sunset thought she was doing pretty good for her first time playing.

seems like someone is enjoying it. :ajsmug:

Rarity's kitchen was a warzone with mashed fruits and scattered kitchen appliances all along the floor, on one side Spike and Opal crouched in waiting, on the other side the CMC's stood gathered trying to force their way to the animals. Sweetie Belle hid behind the crusaders' fort, the kitchen table, with the source of the conflict, a set of grooming brushes and soaps meant for the animals. All that stood between them and a new badge for the scouts was an uncooperative dog and many fruits.

rarity is so gonna be pissed when she sees that mess.

Also great to see a new chapter after 6 months of waiting.

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