• Member Since 19th Sep, 2013
  • offline last seen 3 hours ago

Very Sleepy


I am never serious.

Comments ( 121 )

If Twilight read this story, what would she do to you?

6245503 Probably point out all my spelling and grammar mistakes.

6245507 ......until she found what this story was her doing it with spike........meh ill still read it.

This.....is actually enjoyable to read.......

I'm hooked, that was a great first chapter!
I'm just a little confused by them all being humans yet Spike still being called a dragon, is he like a different race? Is Twilight a unicorn human since she has magic? And above all, are Twilight and Spike "compatible" in the biological sense :trixieshiftright:

6246361 I think of Spike as the dovahkiin, minus all the magic, Twilight has that part. Meanwhile Flash Sentry is the one busy taking arrows to the knee.

But really more along the sense of Spike being a dragon boy, who just looks and functions like a regular human, but with some differences, like the whole greed thing making them large. Or something like increased senses, I'll be touching on that next chapter. I won't be touching pregnancy in this story though, just choosing to ignore it like a lot of people do.

6246402
Awww... No crazy dragon obsessed with breeding when he grows? :raritydespair:

No but seriously thanks for the explanation, Skyrim makes everything easier to understand.

........that was unexpected

She's gonna be a very good slut after Spike fucks her brains out. A good little bitch. :rainbowwild:

that was great kinda reminds me of the story twilights treatment keep up the good work

6247290
Not really unexpected if that was the plan though. I think that Twilight bit off more than she can chew with the greed thing. Her little experiment is gonna come back to screw her in the ass. :moustache::trollestia:

So how big is spike compared to twilight? Shorter? Same height? As the story progresses will his height as well?

6248487 At first he was shorter, but I'm making him taller in the next chapter.

Serves that little tempting vixen right! Besides, that's kind of the point of her entire sexperiment, isn't it? Spike's just...expediting the process.

6248350 Your picture scares me.

Damn. That was a really good story! I didn't even see any grammar mistakes (Even though I know there probably are some.) Your really good at what you do Sleepy. I hope you don't stop writing cause you have potential.

Sincerely Ernest

"Daring Do-Ra"


wat

6248692 The Adventures of Daring Do-Ra the Explorer was my attempt to copyright infringe on two kid's cartoon charters at the same time.

6248766 Think of Twilight as 5 foot 10. Spike would be around 6 foot 6. Just cause.

“Oh relax you big baby! I’m sure you’ve seen me naked coming out of the shower plenty of times!” Twilight scoffed.

This line makes the surrounding paragraphs way more confusing. If Spike sees Twilight naked a lot, then why is he suddenly embarrassed this time as opposed to the others?

Otherwise, pretty good. I'm a bit hesitant to say great, mostly because of the grammatical errors. There weren't too many, but there were enough that I actively noticed them. You would do well to find a proofreader.

Dunno whether I'd be willing to do so for all your work, but I rather like this one. I've worked as prereaders for Dudeler, Silvak, and eLLen, among others. I'm interested. PM me?

6248879 He's seen Twilight come out of the shower a few times, but that wouldn't make him immune to being nervous with being near naked next to her, since it's the opposite. Twilight was using it justifying the arrangement because he's seen her naked.


But yes I could use a editor. It would probably save me a lot of work rereading my stories over and over again to proofread them. I just don't know how the whole process would work and who would be good and willing to help out.

6248791
You could go bigger tho

well..............

*CHOOO!!! CHOOO!!!* all aboard the rape train!, next stop twispike central! Last call for the rape train!,*WHISPLE*

What's the worse that could happen?

*worst*

6248692 dora the explorer referance...

Maybe "dragon blood" would be better than "dragon hood"?

there are no brakes on the rape train! WOO WOO!!!!

the fuck train has no brakes!

Spike’s foot picked up the discarded piece with his foot

Redundant statement is redundant.
i31.tinypic.com/1491mw.jpg

6246402

It sounds more to me like an oustanding "HELL YES!!!" to the possible pregnancy question if it came to it, but it also sounds more like you want to leave it ambiguous so that you don't have to actually write it.

Even if Spike's the Dragonborn or equivalent in this universe fact that he seem more human just with extra features seems to confirm that he and Twilight are at least physically compatible.

There will probably be more to it as the story goes though.

6251075 Don't think I am to lazy to write it though. My last story probably had more pregnancy in it than any other story on fim fiction. It was pretty ridiculous.

6251146

I apologize if my previous comment was a bit antagonistic to you; I didn't mean for it to seemed to shown that way. Just that when I see things like that, like in this story, one of the first questions that came to mind is "Are they compatible?". The way you described Spike and made it a point that Spike is drastically different as opposed to the other girls just was asking for answers to some questions that I can assume will be answered as the story goes.

...In short, I should just sit back and watch it unfold, no? Make your opinions based on the whole story, not just a chapter or two. :twilightsmile:

6248791 ... Twilight's as tall as i am, and Spike makes me look like a midget... :applejackunsure:

An interesting story, and I am curious about how it will go story-wise, even if it might be obvious. There are, however, some inconsistencies. Two of which stick out to me most.
1.) Why would Spike have been sleeping in a basket prior to the events of the story? He is human and a teenager, so it doesn't really make much sense. Especially since -- unless he was still extremely short -- would already be too large to use one.
2.) The time is inconsistent. The second journal entry makes it sound like what had been happening in bed with Spike had been happening for days -- if not weeks -- but Twilight talks about going bikini shopping tomorrow in the first chapter, which would set the second as the next day.

6252697 Spike was much shorter at the start of the story, so I just pictured him in a extra large basket.

And they had to delay their beach trip because of Rainbow Dash's weather, so Twilight must've felt like delaying her shopping as well.

Wait a minute... but this is tagged Human! Shouldn't Spike be Anthro if He's a dragon?

He moaned as her felt his climax hit, searing hot cum rushed up his shaft into and Twilight’s mouth.

28.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lnv644WtOD1qfjjglo1_400.gif

Once again, I'm inclined to question Fimfiction's feature box.

6252843 A quote for ma earlier commti should help (by the arthor)

"I think of Spike as the dovahkiin, minus all the magic, Twilight has that part. Meanwhile Flash Sentry is the one busy taking arrows to the knee.

But really more along the sense of Spike being a dragon boy, who just looks and functions like a regular human, but with some differences, like the whole greed thing making them large. Or something like increased senses, I'll be touching on that next chapter. I won't be touching pregnancy in this story though, just choosing to ignore it like a lot of people do."

There you go.

6254177 Is it bad my head auto-corrected and went on as if it was normal without realizing it? ha

6248791 i have to ask this but are you just making it just clop or a clop with a good story.

I have not seen a good one in sometime that's why i ask

Comment posted by Swashbucklist deleted Jul 28th, 2015

:twilightsmile:: I thought about having a control group so I could explore this experiment more indepth. Now, in this 'experiment', the control group could be defined as either the dragon boy or the receiving female. So do I blueball another dragon boy, or just keep Spike away from Rarity? :twilightoops: Well, in this case due to lack of resources there seems to be only one option. Sorry Rares, :moustache: is all mine! :raritycry:

Login or register to comment