• Member Since 19th Dec, 2012
  • offline last seen 18 minutes ago


Auf Wiedersehen, fuckboi

Comments ( 91 )

Sweet Celestia... fucking amazing.

That was an amazing story, well written and hot.

However, at the beginning, there seemed to be some confusion on Spike's part whether or not they actually were dating, and then there was no confusion. It was a bit confusing, especially with his wondering if she'd ever return his feelings.

5898807 Ahhh, the idea was that it's the back-story, intermingled with the actualities while they're REMINISCING about how they came together. Probably could've done that a little better lol.

Glad you enjoyed the read though!

It worked as that, but it was hard to tell which part was "this is what they used to feel" and which part was "this is what they feel now".

Also, I loved that both wanted to take the next step but were so uncertain about pushing the other. That felt incredibly real.

5898823 Oooh gotcha. Alright I'll keep that in mind for the future when I attempt similar stuff, thanks for bringing that to my attention.

And that's what I was going for with the two, though with how we normally think of Dash as extremely forward I was wondering if that would be considered somewhat OOC.

Not at all. In point of fact, her normally extremely forward nature made it all the more believable, as she would be worried about Spike coming to the conclusion that she was 'easy'.

I'm digging the influx of SpikeDash stories recently.

Into the featured with 24 ups and 1 down. Bloody 'ell this one moved up quick.

5899115 Holy shit you're right... that's incredible. Well, not complaining! :twilightsheepish:

5899136 Oh nvm, you got the obligatory second downvote. Still I haven't seen a featured M go up so quick like this without an army of followers.... well the 500+ armies anyways.

5899145 Eh I'll probably get a lot more downvotes when it's all said and done and I'm okay with that. Thing is, one-shots and clopfics are usually scrutinized A LOT more. Combine the two, and people will try to pick it apart as much as possible. I like that though, it shows me my shortcomings.

Source for the cover artwork please?

Comment posted by Flammenwerfer deleted Apr 24th, 2015
Comment posted by Flammenwerfer deleted Apr 24th, 2015

Read it first (because blind favourites arent real ones) thought fuck it half way through, ill finish this and then i shall favourite the balls outta this and add it to whatever bookshelf was closest. Bravo you magnificent talented bastard. Bravo.

On a particular evening after a hard day's working out, Rainbow demands to see Spike to show him something 'awesome.'

him = her, in the description.

5899416 Huh? I don't think I used the pronoun wrong. Rainbow wants to see Spike to show HIM something... see HIM to show HIM something.

Or am I missing your point? :rainbowhuh:

Remember kids, each like on this story is another person getting off.


... Am I the only one that would be 100% okay with having SpikeDash bits show up in MBF:L from time to time? Like as in SpikeDash is the CMC to LunaRick's Mane 6? (I hope that makes sense to everyone...)

5899442 Except he won't be aged up and he'll still have his crush on Rarity. Sorry to burst bubbles but these two ideas will not be overlapping in any way :rainbowlaugh:

5899311 Glad you enjoyed the read! Thank ya kindly :twilightsmile:

5898798 Thanks! Glad you enjoyed the read :twilightsmile:

5899759 What exactly is your headcanon on their original ages? I believe the Mane 6 are in their lower to mid 20s (21-25 range) and as I recall Twilight stating she was 5 when she took the entrance exam for Celestia's school that would put Spike somewhere in the 16-20 range, 5 years younger than Twilight. So long as Twilight is at least 23 at baseline Spike is considered an adult by pony standards. Dragons are a MUCH longer lived race and thus by their standards Spike is still a "baby".

Flammen, I just want you to know that your avatar pic makes any form of clop you write about 100 times better.

Das ist alles.

5899827 Danke sehr mein guter Herr lol

Ein grandioser fic. Ich brauche mehr Rainbow x Spike!

you deliver once more flammen!

Discord's Witness. 'Nuff said.:rainbowdetermined2:

I was actually interested in seeing the relationship pre and post sex :#

That...was incredibly intense. I loved it.

That was amazing.

Far better than most clopfics you see around, feature box or no. That's one thing I have to commend you on, you have a strong grasp of the English language, you know how to form sentences properly and how to tell a story. Both of which a lot of people seem to lack quite a bit of.

This isn't just mindless sex for the sake of it, but you attempt to put a background and story into it, letting the reader know that this isn't just a cheap porno where the pizza guy comes late and then BAM! Sex happens. This, far more so than most featured clopfics, actually deserves the feature it has, even if you do lack in some areas.

Chief of the things I noticed that you seem to lack is knowing how to narrate. Now, I said that you know how to tell a story, but that and narrating are two different things. Here I'm talking about the narrator himself: Third person (limited or unlimited), first person, second person, etc. You often change point of view (narrator) here, with it passing between Spike and Rainbow seemingly at random, which made it somewhat confusing to read from time to time. You seem to want to write in Third Person Limited, meaning that you follow only one character (at a time. Depending on the story the Point of View may change pr chapter. Or section of a chapter, although that is only for stories with different storylines happening in different places), but you have a tendency to sometimes just change the point of view from Dash to Spike.

Outside of that there weren't really any mistakes that I noticed. Be mindful of the narrator and you should be able to write quite a good story of you put your mind to it :pinkiesmile:

Tis was magnificent.

5901061 Hmmmm... Yeah I can see what you mean. In my quest to obtain 'both sides of the story' it appears I created a little bit of convolution in the process. Through my other work I'd like to say I have a nice grasp on narration but I may not have shown that entirely here :twilightsheepish:

Thanks for the feedback, I'll pay some extra attention to that next time.

I'm not even old enough to drive, but i'm twisted enough to read this thing through.

I'm glad I read this before sleeping because tonight I'm going to sleep like a baby, specially after a hard day of working.
This is an amazing story, congrats my friend.

Pretty good, though that makes question what the difference is between Human and Anthro.

pretty damn good... a few minor problems here and there and a little shaky in the beginning, but it came out beautiful enough and left us with just enough mystery to almost beg for more

Awesome truly amazing.

That was a fun little read :twilightsmile:

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