If Twilight read this story, what would she do to you?

6245503 Probably point out all my spelling and grammar mistakes.

6245507 ......until she found what this story was her doing it with spike........meh ill still read it.

This.....is actually enjoyable to read.......

I'm hooked, that was a great first chapter!
I'm just a little confused by them all being humans yet Spike still being called a dragon, is he like a different race? Is Twilight a unicorn human since she has magic? And above all, are Twilight and Spike "compatible" in the biological sense

6246361 I think of Spike as the dovahkiin, minus all the magic, Twilight has that part. Meanwhile Flash Sentry is the one busy taking arrows to the knee.

But really more along the sense of Spike being a dragon boy, who just looks and functions like a regular human, but with some differences, like the whole greed thing making them large. Or something like increased senses, I'll be touching on that next chapter. I won't be touching pregnancy in this story though, just choosing to ignore it like a lot of people do.

6246402
Awww... No crazy dragon obsessed with breeding when he grows?

No but seriously thanks for the explanation, Skyrim makes everything easier to understand.

“Stupid sexy Twilight!”

averyteoda.files.wordpress.com/2014/09/you-dont-say.jpg

Damn. That was a really good story! I didn't even see any grammar mistakes (Even though I know there probably are some.) Your really good at what you do Sleepy. I hope you don't stop writing cause you have potential.

Sincerely Ernest

"Daring Do-Ra"

wat

“Oh relax you big baby! I’m sure you’ve seen me naked coming out of the shower plenty of times!” Twilight scoffed.

This line makes the surrounding paragraphs way more confusing. If Spike sees Twilight naked a lot, then why is he suddenly embarrassed this time as opposed to the others?

Otherwise, pretty good. I'm a bit hesitant to say great, mostly because of the grammatical errors. There weren't too many, but there were enough that I actively noticed them. You would do well to find a proofreader.

Dunno whether I'd be willing to do so for all your work, but I rather like this one. I've worked as prereaders for Dudeler, Silvak, and eLLen, among others. I'm interested. PM me?

6248692 dora the explorer referance...

Maybe "dragon blood" would be better than "dragon hood"?

: I thought about having a control group so I could explore this experiment more indepth. Now, in this 'experiment', the control group could be defined as either the dragon boy or the receiving female. So do I blueball another dragon boy, or just keep Spike away from Rarity? Well, in this case due to lack of resources there seems to be only one option. Sorry Rares, is all mine!

What with the town getting on me for you know… destroying it and all”

Yeah, no idea why.

Alright, the first chapter was decent, but if someone is thinking something, put it in italics.
Example:

“Stupid sexy Twilight!” Spike yelled in his mind.

Should be:

“Stupid sexy Twilight!” Spike yelled in his mind.

Hope it helps, and good luck.

6260902
I'm wondering why the fuck this comment has so many dislikes? This is completely valid advice. Fimfic users, get it together.

*fapfapfapfapfapfapfapfap* OH GOOD GOD,OOOOHH *pant**pant* *loks at screen* Shit

6260902
While the example you gave has been corrected, all other examples of thoughts have remained unitalicised (if that's a word), which is kind of distracting. The rest of them should be italicised, or the example changed back. For the sake of human decency.

The Adventures of Daring Do-Ra the Explorer.

And now I hate you.

Heh. Listening to 'You Shook Me All Night Long' by AC/DC, at the time of reading this.

For Science.(the two words that make everything ok)

eeeewwwwwwww. why did I start reading this?

6274031 Actually agree with you both entirely, speaking & thoughts should be shown separate, Speaking announced with quote marks and thoughts with single commas.

6245503 Rate it 5 out of 5!

6245671 But it's for science so she'd approve of course!

Spike sat on one of the library’s many chairs, reading the latest from: The Adventures of Daring Do-Ra the Explorer.

Really?