Like the shadow serpent, silence is my veil
Twilight Sparkle was the best ninja in Ninja High School.
She was quite sure of this. As she passed, all the other students fell silent, fingering their ku-nai with barely contained jealousy. At least, they probably fell silent. They were ninjas so they were already quiet, but if they had been making noise they definitely would have stopped just so they could stare in envy at Twilight.
And yes, envy tended to be dangerous, given the time-honored ninja tradition of rapid advancement in class ranking through discreet assassination, but Twilight had proven to be such a good ninja that no one even tried much anymore, except for that one strange pink girl. And while she was excellent at appearing behind other people unexpectedly, she was also remarkably inept at anything approaching lethality.
But today… Today was going to prove that Twilight was definitively the best, because today was when all of the midterm exam scores were published for the whole school to see. A crowd of teenagers dressed in black had all gathered at the bottom of the main stairwell for that very purpose. As Twilight approached, they parted to the left and right, watching her with sharp eyes, their lips moving underneath black ninja masks, undoubtedly silently cursing her for making everyone else look bad.
It wasn’t their appreciation that she wanted. No, her first place meant something more important. That she would finally – finally! – be noticed by Flash sem-pai! That Celestia sen-sei would appear, probably in a cloud of smoke, to fondly pat her on the head! And that she would have another accomplishment to put on her application for that most prestigious of colleges, Ninja Higher Learning University!
Yes, Twilight had been waiting for this day for a long time. She lifted her head high, readjusted the hitai-ate on her forehead, and stepped forward. Her eyes went to the top of the list, printed, of course, in kata-kana.
And then she blinked. She looked over to the side. Was she looking at the right grade level? She glanced back.
It took a good thirty seconds before her eyes drifted down where her name was printed, at number two on the list.
Twilight slammed the shō-ji door open to her classroom with such force that several of the students inside reacted with alarm, twisting their hands in the nin-jutsu to vanish, each leaving behind a freshly-cut log. She ignored them as she stalked inside.
There was no teacher anywhere in sight, which meant either that it was study hall or Advanced Stealth. Ninja High School could be kind of confusing most of the time, given the class schedules were only kept as classified information in a heavily-trapped secret room somewhere on campus.
Twilight headed over to her two least-disposable human assets. Good ninjas, of course, couldn’t afford to have ‘friends’.
Applejack was carefully pruning the branches of an apple bon-sai. Next to her, Rarity had forgone the traditional ninja garb for that of a gei-sha in elaborate ki-mono – which didn’t really indicate that it was disguise class as much as it indicated that Rarity was a pretty crappy ninja. She kneeled on a ta-tami mat, clearly dedicating herself to the mastery of the wa-bi and sa-bi of classic tea cere-mony.
“Na-kama!” Twilight said. “There has been a great injustice that we must right!”
Rarity slowly stood and bowed. Applejack shrugged, snipping off a tiny branch.
“There has been a mistake with the exam scores!” Twilight began pacing back and forth. “I've never even heard of this… Furatā-shai?”
“You mean the girl that sits behind you?” Applejack asked.
“No one sits behind me.” Twilight gestured back, only to realize the desk she was pointing at had someone in it. “Huh?”
Rarity inclined her head. “She’s rather good, darling.”
Twilight stomped over as threateningly as she could in her ta-bi, glaring at the girl. “You! I demand satisfaction. I challenge you to a ninja duel!”
The girl eeped, sitting straight up as she shook like a leaf.
A smirk crossed Twilight’s face. “That shouldn't be a problem for someone as skilled as you, right? It will be to the death, of course. I will allow you to choose the time, place, and manner of— erk.”
Twilight reached up to feel the dart protruding out of her neck. She turned, just in time to see a small white bunny put away his blowgun and duck back into the ceiling, replacing the ceiling tile.
She turned back to Fluttershy, already starting to see spots in her vision. “This is a most dishonorable attack!” She fell to her knees, coughing. “I... You… You really are a good ninja,” she choked out in annoyance.
Fluttershy tried to make herself as small as possible, hiding behind her pink hair.
The door slammed open again. Another Twilight Sparkle rushed in, identical to the first except wearing strange colorful clothing instead of the proper ninja uniform. Her eyes lit up and she started walking with purpose towards them. “There you girls are! Okay, you’re not going to believe me, but I’m actually a pony princess from an alternate dimension. I’m in search of a person known as Sunset—”
She stopped, having almost tripped over the first Twilight Sparkle, who was foaming at the mouth, splayed-out on the floor with her limbs still twitching.
Twilight looked at the body. She looked up at Fluttershy, who blushed. Her mouth opened and shut lamely. Finally, she drew herself together, raised one hand up high and took a deep breath. “Okay, hold on one moment. I think we need to have a talk about Friendship. You see, where I come from— Ow!”
She rubbed her head, looking down to see a pair of star-shaped cookies hit the floor.
“Oh, darn!” Pinkie Pie said, from behind her. “Those are the gingerbread shuri-ken I made for lunch. Hold on a sec, let me find the real ones. I know I have them somewhere.”
“On second thought,” Twilight said. “Screw this, I'm going home. Celestia can get her own damn tiara back.”
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This, I think, accurately sums up my reaction to this.
~Skeeter The Lurker
What is this socrecy? I don't know how you wrote this story or came up with the idea.
Seriously, is it 1998 again? If so, I need to go take advantage of a couple economic bubbles.
BWA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!
So she just sits there quietly and lets Angel do all the dirty work. She really is the perfect ninja.
I lost it at "cere-mony".
6066152
Truth be told, it's just a katakana (the Japanese script used for foreign words) transliteration of "Twilight Sparkle Should Have Gone to Hogwarts Instead.
(I have not read this story yet disclaimer.)
6066152 Bruh!
By the way, this is featured if you have the mature filter on.
This is a pony fiction website, not Naruto! o0o
And so Sunset donned the Tiara of Magic, only for the teachers to declare that taking down the o-ni would constitute twenty percent of the final grade, at which point the crown was politely returned to Luna-hi-me, who had decided to simply hire the residents of this world to retrieve it.
I still hate it. If you'd gone back and fixed the hyphens, or even made it a string of "translator's notes" jokes like in the description, I think you could have salvaged this, but it just drives me up the wall. :/
Hmm... Ninja High School. So touches of Ben Dunn and Kishimoto, here we come?
Eeeeeeeeeeehhhhhhhhhh...........
i.gyazo.com/5ec1f9f8fcaefbe1dd246c8cb18c6d00.png
This alone turned me away most of all.(Right click view image if you can't see it)
6066339
And that's still weird to me! I would have figured this to be right up your alley. The constant use of awkwardly italicized and hyphenated Japanese words still is the joke. Oh well, that's how things go sometimes, particularly for such a silly kind of comedy.
6066515
It really is up my alley, which is why I think I'm being stupid, but I just don't find it funny, so there you go. :(
I'm glad that I at least attempted to watch Naruto, because otherwise that bit with the logs would have been lost on me. Kawaii story, Sharp Spark-san!
Not enough gratuitous moonspeak.
The title alone was what got me to read this. Just took three quarters of college level Japanese.
Haven't read it yet, but what significance does the title (Twilight Sparkle should have gone to Hogwarts instead) have?
Edit: Okay, now I have, and I still don't get it. Still funny, though.
6066611 (double-take) Its says what now?
This was the high point of the story. These two sentences were so awkwardly funny that I had flashbacks to My Immortal.
Sadly, the rest of the fic was far too competently written for my tastes in crack fic; the correct grammar contrasts too much with the unabashedly absurd premise and your use of the Weeaboo language.
6066637 The title is written in Japanese Katakana. It's the writing system they use for western words. Basically, it's the same sounds in the regular Japanes alphabet, but it's used exclusively for words from other countries. For example, banana would be spelled バナナ (ba-na-na)、Or television would be テレビ (te-re-bi {some words are combinations of western words, or shortened}).
In this case, the full syllables spell out Twi-ra-i-to su-pa-ku-ru shu-do ha-bu go-n tu ho-gu-wa-tsu i-n-su-te-do.
...If I'm making this more confusing, I'm sorry.
6066785 "Twilight Sparkle Should Have Gone to Hogwarts Instead"?
Regardless of what people think of this story, or even the concept behind it, it's a fact of reality that the cover art is ultra badass.
6067087
Precisely.
I wrote a review of this story. It can be found here.
Couldn't resist, I'm sorry
That title
This is to-te-mo awesome de-su!!1!!!!
Is the translator note really necessary? How many people don't know what a ninja is?
-Mirai chan reading the title incredibly slowly-
To-wai-rai-to-su-pa-ku-ru-shu-do-ha-bu-gon-tu-ho-gu-wa-tsu-in-su-te-do
Huh. Seems interesting. Yes, I can read Japanese. I didn't translate it.
Don't mess with Fluttershy.
It's always the quiet ones.
Google translated the title and...
...Interesting
6066393
6070914
Ha! So glad I'm not the only one whose mind went there.
Na-kama and Furatā-shai still get to me.
6071423
6066499
I think it's actually supposed to be "Twilight Sparkle should have gone to Hogwarts instead".
Thanks three years of High School Japanese!
6075022 Yep, figured that was what it meant.
Came for the title-- shouldn't've stayed.
I mean, seriously, このたわごとは何だ一体のですか？
Still adding it to my collection of Linguafics, though. どうもありがとうございます.
6075022 I took one and a half years of Japanese, yet I missed 70% of the classes. Stupid anxiety. I barely remember anything.
6075022 Ok. Still not staying to read.
Ok, so ninja of the night, ninja high school, a Japanese title and transration errors right off the bat. Time to give this a read.
Wha-to justu happundo?
6076698 "Ninja" isn't a gender specific term. A kunoichi is a female ninja.
Hey, in case you are interested, I wrote a review for this which can be found here. Nothing too new, but I still felt like chiming in.
HOW DAFUG ARE PEOPLE GONNA BE ABLE TO SEARCH THAT NAME!
as in the title.... im pretty sure only the tags would lead me here other wise
What does the title mean in English?
You ruined it at the end.
Why can't I see chapter 2 of this story?