One of these days we'll form a union, and get the fair and equitable treatment we deserve. Then we'll go too far, and become corrupt and shiftless, and the Japonies will eat us alive.
Twilight Sparkle finds herself with an embarrassment of riches. She's got her own kingdom, great friends, some kind of Rainbow Magic, and her own castle! Nothing could go wrong... or so she thought. Something has risen from the depths of her new home to threaten the peace of Equestria. Something old, something powerful, something hungry...
Written for Magello, never stop dreaming, friend.
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That was incredibly stupid. I'll let everyone else decide what kind of stupid.
You were already on the way to earning a like from me, but this line made me stop reading, up thumb, and comment:
“Yes, and I know two more of those,” Starswirl commented flippantly as he sent the books zooming off to their places back on the shelves, “I, however, only know of one Starswirl the Bearded.”
Well played.
--Spade
This is what Starswirl should be like.
Have you ever considered submitting this story to Equestria Daily? You can find out how to do so here.
So erm... Trixie fucks 800 yr old men.. Well at least she ain't fucking Snips and Snails so it ain't that bad!
There MUST be a sequel to this story!!!! Please!?!?!?!?
Rainbows line
Raritys reaction?
Those last lines line ?priceless!
th09.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/f/2015/050/9/3/spike_rarity_splash_by_hillbe-d8iq6be.jpg
This story was a laugh riot ! Well done!
That was the shit. And I don't say that often. I think its the second time I ever say it in written form.
This fic was perfect.
Pretty damn funny.
Starswirl the Jackass was amazing, and I want to see this done more. I also really like how Spike was trying to play damage control the whole way through.
This line is made of win.
If proper procedure involves going through a bunch of motions while not actually doing anything then...
Wait!
Isn't that what Congress does already?
As GOP, I must say that Murphy's Law is figuratively, literally, AND metaphorically attached to you. Very attached.
You'll be proven wrong quite quickly!
Get?
My dear Rarity!
If you're only getting the feeling, something is wrong with you!
You must go see my good friend, Doctor Whooves!
Don't worry! He has no license in psychiatry, but he does dabble in it!
...
I can't even make a "That Logic" joke.
I'm sad!
WHY!?
I DON'T UNDERSTAND THE LOGIC!
(1) Which isn't going to be very much.
(2) Entirely too happy in destroying the dreams of a stallion unicorn that is displaced.
WHP DAMN IT!
WHY IS STARSWIRL THE PONY EQUIVALENT OF A CHRISTIAN ZEALOT DURING THE SALEM WITCH TRIALS!?
He's not a donkey. Technically, he could transfigure himself into one, but the point is dulled at that point.
Twilight is an alicorn.
Legend has it that there is a dragon imprisoned in time and space.
He was deemed to be the most useful assistant forever and wars were fought between a white unicorn, a white female unicorn, and a purple alicorn for his assistance.
By mutual discontent of the ones fighting for him, he left.
He now works in a time and place far away. No one knows where or even when it is.
Simply know his name is...
SPIKE!
Indeed!
Let us watch another DBZ-esque showdown!
Spike the dragon also was completely done with all the BS he had to deal with around here.
Which was why he left.
Somebody needs to make a love story of this.
PICTURE THIS!
Trixie loves her teacher Starswirl. Starswirl does too! But they're teacher and student!
Was it meant to be?
Spike is the glue that keeps everything sane and rational around here. If Discord took him out, everything would go to hell.
Everything may still go to hell, because he is this close to done with this BS.
HERE IS A LIST OF ALL THE MOST ROMANTIC MOVIES! REPLACE WITH TRIXIE AND STARSWIRL!
To Spike!
BEST DRAGON ASSISTANT EVER!
fc04.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2012/178/2/0/spike_meme_cup_of_____by_grumbeerkopp-d552y6p.png
Wait. That's his coffee mug in the mornings.
derpicdn.net/media/W1siZiIsIjIwMTIvMDYvMjEvMThfMTZfMTZfNTQ2XzE0MjM1X19zYWZlX3NwaWtlX21lbWVfZ2FyYmxlIl1d/14235__safe_spike_meme_image-macro_dragon_swag_garble_female-dragon.jpg
GO GET 'EM DRAGON!
Technically, time didn't forget him you know...
Yes.
Finally.
The fiction the world needed right now. Sweaty Starswirl Lust, all over.
This is an excellent story.
I read Starswirl as Sean Connery.
upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/c/c8/SeanConneryJune08.jpg
I love the idea of Starswirl as an angry old man, it was wonderful, and the Scientist-hunt part was great.
A fart prank. Glorious.
I've no doubt Twilight would have beaten Starswrill but this result was much more satisfying :P
Jerkswirl is the best 'swirl. Forever.
Most hilarious!
And please tell me this is a Futurama reference.
Whoopie's Charm Of Phantom Flatulence!
(It's #236 in Starswirl's Collection Of Common Cantrips.)
Oh, this has potential beyond a one shot.
That was fucking hilarious.
This becomes even weirder (and yet somehow makes more sense) for those who believe that Trixie is one of Starswirl's descendants.
Good work on the... solution? Spike...?
Brilliant.
... any chance for a sequel? .-.
I have always thought Patrick Stewart would make the perfect Starswirl, especially if he runs up against the freshly reformed Discord. That bit of fantasy casting is so ingrained in my noggin that I could hear the mellifluous voice of mon capitane as I read this fic.
Glorious.
5790795 I couldn't resist... I watched it all... all two parts. It was terrifying
I've been waiting so long for Twilight to say something like this.
i.ytimg.com/vi/GD6qtc2_AQA/maxresdefault.jpg
5792955 I hope you know that you have now ruined the plans that I had today because I know need to watch this guy and his incredibly stupid but somehow humorous reviews. maldición to you
5792643
Genius. I think I might actually start watching the show for that kind of match-up.
5791446 Next time, it would be nice if you put all your comments into one comment. Otherwise you create unnecessary clutter (and a flood of downvotes for what might otherwise be an insightful post).
What the heck happened to the comment section here?
Ewwwww..... Old guy on young mare action.
But I was rolling.
Excellent from start to finish. Starswirl needs to be put back in the box. Or he should become faculty at Unseen University.
LMAO, bitching about the magical map...
I will be COMPLETELY unable to take that plot device seriously in Season 5.
[\sincerity] I thank you so much for that.
Uuuhhhhhhhhhhhh... well, that was something? XD
20/10 that was amazing.