Sacrifice.
Celestia and Luna are all too familiar with the concept. It's a concept that has molded them, strengthened them... and in a few tragic cases, betrayed them.
When they are willing to give up everything to save those they hold most dear, what might be left could be just the thing that winds up destroying the sisters in the end.
Awesomely awesome collab partner of awesomeness is Denim_Blue, who I should mention is pretty damn awesome.
Big thanks to the main editors for the story, Jake The Army Guy, Aatxe360 and PaulAsaran!
Art used with permission from this awesome artist which you can find right here!
Chapters (9)
Hmm... I think I want to read this.
Oh hey, it's up!
Awesome.
*Snap fingers*
Let's do this!
Yay
Lookee lookee! Good story that pissed me off but was still so good is publicated! 'Bout damn time!
Swag and a half.
Er.. 'bettering'?
Interesting thingy you got here, I like it so far, but I just can't fit my mind around Celestia.
It feels almost like you've got her borderline comedic, making jabs that made me chuckle a bit, and wonder if you weren't secretly gearing up for some insane plot twist. I can get her attitude - mostly - it's just the way she speaks...it's almost like she's scripted. Will continue, but this chapter felt a little different than the rest of the fic.
This part here:
Sounds like RainbowBob comedy tones, with a hint of sarcasm, and a garnish of asshole. A delightful classic, and yet, it doesn't really fit the attitude you're aiming for here. She's being a little too trivial (twit, Princess of the Bats), and it comes off as though she's trying way too hard to be an ass, and it kinda threw me off the flow of the fic.
Slightly OOC Celly aside, I'm liking the serious fic, Bob.
This... Describes madness perfectly. Madness with power. Plot/story is stellar, characters are about what I'd expect, especially in their own respective twisted natures, and I have to say that you can do it man, complete the story! (Or else erryone will be pissed at you. You wouldn't want that now, because I have a closet filled with pitchforks in case of an angry fan mob.
)
I love stories like this. They're so good!
I like to see things twisted and warped out of the norm!
An excellent display of power and madness! Though, as you rightly pointed out, it's not Celestia that's doing this... It's like she's simply become a mask for something else... I'll say no more though. For one thing, I could be wrong in my assumptions, and if I am eventually proved to be correct in my theory, I don't want to spoil the big suprise for those who might not have seen it coming.
Anyway! Brilliant work! I am certainly enjoying this story, and I will also be looking to read your past and (hopefully) future works!
Looks awesome, Beb. Will read it soon. :D
You know, halfway through this fic, I had this creeping suspicion that you had decided to write a New Lunar Republic story. Oh, look, Luna had done nothing wrong during the Nightmare Moon incident. Celestia's the one who was pushing her. Of course. You see what happens when you let royalty rule a nation? They turn into a sunfire-blasting tyrant. Clearly, Luna will purge this evil Celestia, and solve everything with a mighty dose of democracy. Oh and the Elements of Harmony will help too. I guess. Thank you, sincerely, for not going that route.
It's an interesting take on that part of Equestrian history. I like that you are able to present the theme of sisterly love, with all the good and tragic that emerged from it, without overpowering it with "badass Celestia/Luna" or "Celestia/Luna is blameless and it's the other who should be banished to the moon".
However, I think your fight scenes lack some impact. You're too wordy at times, as well as too technical and distant. I would suggest that you replace any instance of "oxygen" with "air" for starters.
I know that they're princesses, but come on. "Luna, aid me!", "Luna, I need aid!" or "Luna, help!" all sound more urgent, especially with Discord trying to kill her.
Again, too much. Bordering on "Talking is a Free Action" too much. Try saying all that while trying to catch your breath.
Too wordy. It saps the emotional impact when you're so formal in saying "Luna didn't notice her,".
An enjoyable read nonetheless.
...More
I loved this story halfway through the first chapter that's never happened before for me. :/
That's an interesting start.
...I like it. I like it a lot.
This half and half chapter structure is pretty cool.
Um
Wat
This felt wrong, and I almost abandoned ship. Bob, Denim, I'm putting my trust in you...
Alright. I'm really curious as to how these storylines line up, now.
Ooooooh. Duh. I see what you did there. Clever!
Ooooooooooooooooooh boy. I'm really enjoying this. This is pretty grand.
Yes, I like how this all tied together. Yeeees.
This was pretty excellent. You made me a bit nervous early on, but it turned out what you did was pretty clever.
You should write more stories like this. Crackfics might be fun, but this? This is something worth writing. Fantastic stuff.
Really nice work on this, Bob. Any more stuff in this vein would be more than welcome.
A promising start.
Oh, but now anymore
I think I found a typo :-\
Love this chapter. I wish someone had tried this approach with NMM in the actual show.
Also, unless I'm mistaken, this is the point of divergence, right?
5160796
I don't. What happened?
I'm confused by something: Luna had an absurdly sharp blade at Celestia's neck (also, why the hell was it a katana? :-\ seriously, it broke suspension of disbelief for me in a big way, and it makes you look bad :-\ ).
Where did it go? What happened to it? Why didn't Luna immediately take off her sister's head once she decided to fight her for realzies?
I'm confused by something: Luna had an absurdly sharp blade at Celestia's neck (also, why the hell was it a katana? :-\ seriously, it broke suspension of disbelief for me in a big way, and it makes you look bad :-\ ).
Where did it go? What happened to it? Why didn't Luna immediately take off her sister's head once she decided to fight her for realzies?
I'm confused by something: Luna had an absurdly sharp blade at Celestia's neck (also, why the hell was it a katana? :-\ seriously, it broke suspension of disbelief for me in a big way, and it makes you look bad :-\ ).
Where did it go? What happened to it? Why didn't Luna immediately take off her sister's head once she decided to fight her for realzies?
5138691 I agree with all of that except the last one. There is a time for some lengthy descriptions, you can't pare everything down to a bare minimum.
That was fuckin' epic. :D
Holy grail this is amazing.
It was confusing, it was messy and honestly, just plain boring. I didn't honestly feel anything about the characters and the plot was... just weak. So, so weak.
This is really something. I'm yet to figure it out, but it pulls me in.
This is a chapter that I'm not entirely comfortable with. You went to such lengths to recreate the show's depiction of Nightmare Moon's emergence, and then, uh, destroyed Celestia's character. What. I didn't like the overall tone of this chapter at all, but I guess I'll see if the rest of the story makes up for it.
There we go. I think I'm beginning to understand.
All right.
Time to settle things. Consider my comment on chapter three void.
5133102
We are of the same mind.
I wasn't far off, either.
How does this end? I wonder.
There's one thing left to do.
Face The Thing That Should Not Be.
Never read a fic like this. Like C² said, I thought you'd lost the plot around the middle, but then it all came together.
Perhaps the whole thing was too wordy, though. There was a lot of talking during the action scenes, something I get told off for myself.
Good read, though. No doubts there.
You can has review!